Cool Night

Our church building was filled last night with parents and video cameras for The Children's Place end of year program. It was another great night with the kids showing just a little bit of what they have learned during the year. The Children's Place has been a great project over the years and I have enjoyed being a part of it and watching it grow.
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The Rangers lost yesterday. Just when I thought they would win the rest of their games.

Are the NBA playoffs still going? I wouldn't know. I heard something about LeBron getting on his mother at a game. I bet that was fun for him later that night.

I'm so tired of the sports scandals but it won't end until the fans quit paying lots and lots and lots of money to go see these guys perform.
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This is where some blogs leave a question for you to answer. Since I don't have many responders, I'll leave the question up to your own mind today. I hope you get the answer right.

Mid-week Slump

It's Wednesday and I feel brain-dead today. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's the rainy weather and a small desire to get back in bed and sleep.
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How 'bout them Rangers! They played some really, really good ball last night.

They still scare me at 1st base.
I don't think C.J. Wilson would be a closer anywhere else but he's all we have right now.
Hank Blalock has spent way too much time on the DL the last few years to give me the feeling he will be a reliable player in the future.
Pitching is always iffy but our guys have done well more often than not. I just wonder how long it will last.

With the exception of those concerns, the Rangers are fun to watch right now. They've won the last 6 series which they last did when they made the playoffs ('99 I think). I'm ready to go to another game and wish I could make it out for the Houston series this weekend.
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Our mission group is roughly 33/34 days from leaving for Brazil. I am starting to solicit your prayers now and will do so more the closer we get.

Peace.

Sports and Thoughts

I stayed up watching the Rangers last night and was rewarded for my lack of sleep around 11:00 when Ramon Vasquez hit a walk-off home run in the bottom of the 10th. It was a crazy game that both teams should have put away and neither team really deserved to win but I'm glad the Rangers came out on top. They are still toying just under the .500 mark and only 4.5 games out of 1st place. In the end, they don't have to win it all for me to be happy but just be competitive. They are doing that right now and I retract my earlier remarks that the sky is falling on the Rangers.
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I'm going to recommend The Shack as a book to read. I finished it last night and have a myriad of thoughts from it and about it. I am recommending for one reason only; it has made me think, rethink and think some more about how big God is, about how far He goes with us and how He works in ways I cannot imagine. It has pushed me to start taking down the mental borders of where I think God works and to give Him control of everything instead of me thinking I can share control and see the parameters of where God works.

The book is written as a true story yet I still think of it as fiction. I just can't believe it's real but for now will accept that God can do whatever God wants to do whether I believe it or not. I think there will be a lot of people who read it and use it to point out areas of liberal theology. Others may read it and use it to state no rules exist and whatever we want to do is just OK. Others, and I hope it will be the biggest percentage, who read it will simply grow in a desire to know God better.

I don't understand God and don't know that I will while on this earth but I do know I want to get closer to knowing Him and understanding Him and to do that, I have to quit thinking about God in the box that I'm comfortable with and let God express Himself to me in the way He desires. That's not easy but where I am today.

I think this is a journey that will be tumultuous at times but will lead me to peace in Him, through Him.

Challenges

I think I've mentioned that I am reading a book titled "The Shack" right now. It's a big seller in Christian book circles and there are lots of recommendations to read it (of course, they don't post most of the don't-read letters). I'm not finished with it yet but I'm going to take some space to write about some of the challenges and thoughts it has brought to me.

The very first challenge I had was the wording that was used to define God. The author uses "Papa" when referring to God and that just flies all over me. I'm not sure why but if I don't like it, it shouldn't be done and I shouldn't give the book much credibility, should I? That's the way I think at times, as silly as it may be.

The idea that my theology is right and that's just the way it is is one of the biggest challenges that has come to me in this book. As I read, I keep having the thought that maybe, just maybe, it's not what I want to believe but what God wants me to believe - that maybe my doctrine and my parameters and my paradigm aren't exactly the same as God's doctrine and parameters and paradigm. YIKES!

What I've determined through a little introspection is that I need to be more open to God - to open my eyes and my mind and my heart more to hear Him instead of seeing things through my own experience. Yes, that is a challenge.

Mom's the Word

Sunday is Mother's Day and I want to give thanks for the mothers in my life. Moms have a special place in most people's lives and mine is no different. My mom certainly had her hands full at times but always loved me through whatever I put her through. She helped mold me and shape me and make my life the best she could give me. I may never appreciate the sacrifices she made for me but I am pretty confident that she still wouldn't have it any other way. Most of the memories that immediately come to mind have to do with food or moments that I was surely exasperating her. Lemon ice box pie, fried chicken, black-eyed peas and hot water cornbread, boiled shrimp. I certainly ate good. We still laugh (maybe I laugh more than her) about the last spanking she gave me. I remember the fear I put in her life when I was off on my motorcycle and she couldn't find me. It's only been since I've had children that I understood that fear. There's no telling how many basketball and football games she sat through cheering me on.

Thank you mom for loving me every moment of my life.
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I am thankful for my wife, the mother of my children. I would guess, like I was and many children are, that they do not know how to appreciate their mom for all she does but one day they will. How many meals have been prepared, how many pieces of clothing washed, miles driven to church and school functions and on and on? How many scrapes, bumps and bruises have been cleaned and kissed for faster healing? There is so much she does without fanfare simple driven by her love for her children. I have been blessed and my two kids have been blessed with a wonderful wife and mother.
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I am thankful for my mother-in-law. She has been a blessing to 3 children, their spouses and 8 grandchildren. Her love for her family is shared all the time. I am thankful for the love she gave her children which is evident in how they live their lives and the feeling of acceptance she gave to me many years ago. I count it a blessing that I have such a good relationship with her and I give thanks for her.
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The common thread through these 3 mothers is their love for God and their desire to honor Him. What an incredible blessing and legacy for their children.

Thank you to the 3 wonderful women in my life.

Wet Days

It's one of those rainy, sleepy days. One of those days where crawling back in bed and going back to sleep seems really appealing.
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I'm currently reading a book titled "The Shack." It's a story about a guy who goes through some turmoil in his life and his relationship with God. I'm not sure how I feel about it right now but it has some interesting thoughts on how we view pain and suffering and what God sees. I simply bring this up because of the cyclone that hit Mynamar, a tragedy in human eyes, and this book is making me really think about why God would or wouldn't let something like that happen.

I'm trying to open my mind to God more, to get out of the habit of trying to only understand God through my eyes but to let God show me what He wants me to see. I have a habit of trying to figure out God in my paradigm of experiences and I'm coming to the conclusion that He just might not fit in a box that I can imagine or create.
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That's all I have for today. It's Wednesday. Church and basketball. I'm headed out of town either Thursday or Friday so I may miss a day of posting.

I hope you have peace for today.

New Stuff and The End

I've been playing around with what you see on my blog a little bit. My wife told me about the verse of the day feature from Biblegateway.com which is a cool feature. Thanks to her for helping me be a bit more technologically savvy. I also added a picture I took in Venice, Louisiana last year. It's sunset around the Gulf of Mexico. I love sunsets and this picture is very calming to me.
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Many of you have probably heard the story of Randy Pausch (I think I spelled it right) who is dying of pancreatic cancer. He was a professor at Carnegie-Mellon and delivered his last lecture at the school last year. It was a lecture about things that have come to him knowing he had a relatively short time to live. He is married with 3 very young children and he was looking for a way to pass on his love for them and nuggets of wisdom he would want them to know. It's a touching story but even more, a thought-provoking story for anyone who hears him.

What would you do if you knew you only had months to live? What would you tell your family? What would you tell others? Where would you go? What would you want to leave behind? How would you change? Are there people or things that frustrate you now that don't matter if you only have weeks/months left? Are there things you would go try? Questions that all of us have encountered at one time or another but not with the intensity of someone with a short time to live.

These are questions that are on my mind but I'm living as if there are years and years to get to them. I'm contemplating my current approach to those questions and many others. In the next day or so, I'll post some links to his lecture so you can hear more for yourself.

Peace to you.

Prayer

I believe in the power of prayer, I believe in the beauty of being able to talk to God and that He hears us. I believe in the necessity of constant, continual prayer to stay linked to God and to give Satan less access to our heads and hearts. I believe these things but find myself so often struggling with prayer. Making time for it. Feeling like I know what to say, how to praise God, what to ask for. Sometimes my prayers are asking for forgiveness and I am brought to tears because of the grace God extends to me. Other prayers are for my family, for missionaries I know and don't know, for people I know that are hurting, for strength. I pray for so many things and yet, often I feel my prayers are so inadequate that I just pray for God to understand what I cannot even figure out how to say. And, I believe He does that for me.

I am thankful for prayer and my hope is that I learn to use this gift God gave me better each day; that through my prayers I will grow closer to God and that my prayers may bring peace to those in need of what He offers.

I hope you live in His peace today.

No Post Today

I'm sorry but I don't seem to have the mental capacity to offer much today.

Avery's gone.
I saw a clip on GMA this morning about a softball game where a girl hits a home run and when coming around 1st base, her knee blows out. Some girls from the other team come over, pick her up and carry her around the bases letting her touch each one so she gets her home run. Great sportsmanship.
The Rangers won! The Rangers won!
I've been asked to speak to our youth group about prayer. Yikes! It's one of those things I think I could babble on about for hours and fear I'd never make sense. I have so many thoughts about it but feel inadequate to talk about it. Pray for me to find some wisdom to share in a message God wants these kids to hear.
Yesterday was the end of the month. I always have some deadlines at the end of the month that I worry about making because I have to depend on other people. I got it done and now I'm just waiting to exhale.
I hear the Phoenix coach may be coming to Dallas. I could criticize him all day but at least he hasn't admitted to smoking marijuana or started a riot in a strip club.
Last night in our youth class, 1/4 of the kids (I'm guessing) don't normally go to our church. It's the power of our youth to be willing to share Christ with anyone they come in contact with. From what I know, several of them that come regularly don't have a church home. Amazing. I am encouraged every week by the young people at our church.

Peace to you today.

Throw 'Em All Out

This is about the Mavs, not politics. I have to admit I watched very little of the Mavericks season because I do not enjoy pro basketball and the Mavs brand of the last several years has been the worst in my mind. I guess I'm old school. I like hard work, fundamentals and defense - something sorely lacking from most of the Mavs play I did watch. In my useless opinion, Dirk is a great 2nd guy but not a good1st guy. I think he plays soft and shows little, if any, emotional fire but it's not all Dirk. He doesn't have the cast of characters around him that he needs. There's no meat to the team, no fight. A bunch of guys shooting jump shots in a league that doesn't shoot jump shots very well. I'm glad their season is over so I don't have to listen or see them. Anguishing over watching the Rangers is bad enough.

Speaking of the Rangers, it's painful and I wonder why something hasn't been done to show hope for the future. Washington doesn't seem to be the guy so why keep him? Or is it Daniels? Yes, they need pitching but the fielding has been horrific and Washington is supposed to be the fundamentals coach. Uh-oh. My wife got me the MLB package a couple of years ago and I find myself watching National League games the majority of the time. I'll watch the Cardinals and the Braves with some Mets thrown in and I enjoy watching the Padres, Rockies and Diamondbacks for later games. I just can't cheer for another American League team so I'm more of a National League fan now. Thanks Rangers.

I enjoy watching the Firehouse Muscle the most. It's been an up-and-down year for the team. They take the field again this weekend and hopefully will continue to show improvement from their two good games in the last tournament.

Focused

Our Sunday morning class is currently studying Ecclesiastes (I may have misspelled). I don't recall ever studying it but have found it fascinating. I don't understand much of it after reading it once and have to go over it several times. Last week we began reading Chapter 7 and, again, I was fascinated by what I read. The first verse says something like "a good name is better than a fine perfume and the day of death is better than the day of birth." As we studied, I kept coming back to that verse and what it meant. My focus kept going to "the day of death better than the day of birth." I think what the entire section we read was telling us that our focus has to be on heaven, not earth. The day of death on earth leads us to the first day of heaven.

I think I am becoming more heaven focused and want to keep doing that. I am growing more comfortable that the day of death will take me to a better place, a place I still can't fully imagine and know will exceed anything I can imagine.

Lights Out

The power in our part of Decatur went out this morning. It's crazy when the electricity goes out because so much of what we do is dependent on it. Fortunately, the power company had it fixed in a relatively short time and life is back to normal.
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The Rangers are now on a "win-1, lose-2" program. It's not very exciting but good to see them win now and then.

My son and I saw ACU play Friday night and Saturday afternoon. There were a combined 38 hits in the Friday night game and I think Tarleton threw 6 or 7 different pitchers. The Saturday game was a bit closer but it wasn't a pitcher's duel either. The ACU facility is really nice and a fun place to watch a game.

The Fort Worth Cats start play pretty soon. It's always a fun time at the Cats game. The stadium is great, the seats are inexpensive and they serve Kinkaid's hamburgers.
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I didn't pay much attention to the NFL draft over the weekend other than to think how many new millionaires were created in a day. It's astonishing what those guys do and how much they make doing it. Even a guy like Pacman Jones can keep playing and making loads of money if he has the ability. Astonishing.

Then I hear Josh Howard admitted to smoking pot on the radio Friday. What in the world?

Rangers Schmangers

The Rangers are killing me. It's just horrible baseball and the owner needs to make a change. I don't see any improvement from last year and, in fact, think they may be playing worse. The "player's" manager who was going to be the hero of fundamentals just isn't getting it done and I don't think I can stand to watch much more of this pathetic play without something happening to shake things up. I don't expect them to turn it around and make the playoffs but do something other than ask me to spend my money with no effort at change.
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I'm headed west this afternoon with my son to watch some baseball at my alma mater. ACU did not have baseball when I was at school and I don't know that I cared but we have gone out for a game almost every year for the past 3 or 4 years. It's a good environment to watch a game (no beer, no cussing, no streakers - I suppose) and a fun time for us. Here's hoping the rain leaves us alone.

Awkward Silence

The idea of being still with God has been on my mind of late. When I think of being still with God, my thoughts go towards not only being still but being quiet. My idea is to work to free my mind of all the things I am thinking about and let God speak to me. Now, I don't think I'm going to hear this booming voice and rays of sunshine but I do think, over time, that simply clearing my head may help guide me to a better understanding of what God wants for me or maybe what I need to be doing for God.

This isn't a very concrete idea which may be part of the reason it's hard for me and maybe others to grasp. It's also difficult to be quiet sometimes. Have you even been in a conversation or class where there was a moment of silence? You can almost feel people wanting to speak up just to break the silence...something must be said. Rick's blog recently referred to a mantra I have heard used that we should speak where the Bible speaks and be silent where the Bible is silent. I think some of our traditions, our rules and our judgments have come because people have a hard time being silent so when the Bible is silent, someone feels the need to fill the silence with their ideas.

I don't know where I'm going with this other than wanting to explore more into the idea of being quiet, being silent in the presence of God and to hear what He wants me to hear. Maybe it will only be a time to free my mind of my thoughts and my desires. Maybe He will lead me to a thought. Maybe I'll hear a booming voice and see rays of sunshine. Whatever the case may be, I hope to try it and see what I learn from it. Maybe there will be more on this later.

Go Eagles

The Decatur Eagles baseball team pulled out a thrilling victory last night in the bottom of the 7th inning against Bridgeport. The winning team got the final playoff berth so it was great to see our guys win.
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Wednesday nights are always the best night of the work week for me. I attend the youth class and help out occasionally speaking, driving or whatever I'm needed for. I've written about the excitement I have about our youth group and the things I see them do and it gives me a big lift every week to spend some time with them.

After church, a few of us stay and play basketball. Lately, it's been the "old" guys against the "young" guys. I'm always one of the oldest and the youngsters are typically high school kids. They are confounded why we consistently beat them even though some of us can't run or jump. And I can't help but laugh when one of them guards me close like I'm going to blow by them or jump over them.

It's always a beating for me. I come home sore and in need of Tylenol, Motrin, ice, heat, water, Gatorade...and anything else that helps revive a 40+ guy but I love it. It's always been m favorite sport and I think it always will be.

The Table

Rick Ross, the preacher at our church in Decatur, is on a roll with his sermons. He started a series of sermons on heaven awhile back and then had a series on the cross. Now, he is leading us through a series on the table, the communion time we share. Each of these have challenged my ideas and caused me to spend some time thinking about what God has in store for me and what my response needs to be. As he talked about communion yesterday, I couldn't help but wonder what it was like for the people who had spent time with Jesus while he was on earth, what the emotion was, what the conversation was, what the thoughts and feeling were.

I am thankful God is using Rick to bring messages that inspire me to learn and to grow and I am thankful Rick is willing to use his talents to glorify God. Even more, I am thankful the body gathers around the table to remember the price that was paid for us and celebrate the glory of a risen Savior.

As Rick talked yesterday, I thought of the suffering Christ endured prior to dying on that cross. I can't fathom how miserable it must have been yet even that suffering was only for a short time and the glory, the joy, the everlasting salvation that came from it is so much greater. It reminds me that anything I face, any troubles and obstacles, are temporary and nothing compared with the eternity that lies before me through Christ. Hallelujah!

The Storms

Another line of storms moved through last night without the fanfare of the week prior. It struck me last night how we sometimes prepare for storms that bring much less turbulence than we expected while other times the storm is on us before we are prepared.

My life is like that often. I worry about things that turn out to be much smaller than what I had imagined while other times, I'm overcome and didn't even see the problems coming. As I get older, I am learning to prepare as best I can and pray...a lot. I am reaching a time of life where I want to know more about prayer. Slowly but surely I am realizing there is only so much I can do on my own and that I need God to lead me, to work in me and around me. By spending time in prayer, I believe I open myself to God and the more I can pray, the more open to Him I will be.

I still get caught praying the most when I need God the most and praying the least when things of life are going well. I hope I can reverse that trend because things go well most of the time. It's a time to praise God, to be open to Him. There will still be prayers through the storms and the storms may be plenty but how much closer to God will I feel when I've spent more time in prayer with Him?

Alma Mater Alcohol

I recently read that my alma mater, Abilene Christian University, will be changing one of it's rules regarding alcohol use by students. The current rule is if any student is seen using alcohol, they are subject to dismissal from the school. The new rule will not prevent students of legal age from using alcohol away from campus and non-school events.

I have some mixed feelings about it. On the one hand, there aren't that many students of legal drinking age. Add the fact that the school can't afford to try and babysit students all over town and it makes it seem like a rule that doesn't have to be on the books anyway. On the other hand, and what really bothers me, I feel like ACU is relaxing it's standards. While I was a student, I happened across a few people who broke a few of the rules but they and I all knew ACU's standard and respected the school's right to set rules to hold to that standard. Now, it appears the standard is loosening and I feel like that is a problem our society already faces. "Kids are going to have sex so tell them about condoms instead of abstinence." "People are going to use drugs so legalize marijuana." How far can we go as a society to lower our standards to nothing? How far will ACU go in lowering than standards?

I don't know all the reasons for their decision and oddly enough, they didn't ask my opinion. Maybe they think it will be a revenue stream for the new Budweiser Field they want to build (did I mention they passed on 3 student-athletes of excellent character and enough ability to play for other LSC schools and I'm still rather disenchanted about that) so their star athletes can show off their prowess. Maybe it's a simple as saving some ink for a rule they cannot enforce.

In the end, ACU doesn't care what I think and I don't think too highly of ACU. I don't know that their new decision will amount to anything but I also wonder if it's the first step down a slippery slope of decisions that will eventually render it a "Christian education" much like you will find at TCU or Harvard or a number of other schools that started with some religious roots but have effectively abandoned them in the name of academia. Time will tell.

Reaching Out

Yesterday was a "local outreach" focus at our church. We heard some reports from some of our members involved in different aspects and a challenge to continue finding ways to make an impact in our community. A question I read on a blog recently and one that was asked from the pulpit yesterday was something like this; if your church went away tomorrow, would the community notice? or would they care? I think it's a great question for churches to ask.

I imagine there are a good number of our members who do things in the community quietly and without seeking praise or notice. I've written in the past about a song titled "If We Are The Body" and asks the question "if we are the body, what are we doing in the name of Christ?" Are we sitting in our pews teaching religion without touching anyone? Are we doing a lot of stuff but not teaching people the Good News?

I enjoyed the thoughts and questions that came to me yesterday because they challenge me to examine what I am doing to reach out to someone outside my circle, to reach out to someone who is hurting, to reach out to someone who is trying to find God.

I told my wife I wouldn't blog about Desperate Housewives but the fact is I watched most of it last night and there was a character who has been through a lot of tough times and decided to start a search for God. I have no idea where the show will go with that but there she was - someone looking for God and looking for someone to lead them to finding answers. This morning while watching GMA, they flashed a snippet of some forum the Democratic contenders were at where they were being asked questions about faith and the Bible. The point is, there are people who want to know more about God and the question to me is whether I will be available to them to help them find the answers and to help them find the loving mercy of our Savior.

The Back Window

As I looked out the back window for the funnel clouds I couldn't help hear the Casting Crowns song "Praise You In This Storm" rolling through my head. I also prayed for safety while realizing we need a much, much bigger closet to hide in. Had I tried to get in the space that would probably be the safest, I think my family would suffer much more pain from me being the last one in than what the storm would do. God answered my prayers and we were spared any damage. I know others were not as fortunate and I will be praying for them today.
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Our lab split again the other day. We've gotten so used to dogs not lasting around our place that it didn't cause a big stir. My wife and I both spent time out driving the streets and backroads close to us looking for her with no luck.

My wife had told one of our friends who came by the house Tuesday night and last night he calls saying a dog that matches the description of ours is across the street in the neighbors garage. Sure enough, my son and I went over and found her with some of the nicest people you would ever meet.
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I'm headed back to see the Rangers tonight. I sure hope they have better success tonight than on Tuesday. Since they were rained out last night, they will play a double-header but I'm not going to be able to make it to the first game. Phooey.

Good and Bad of Opening Day

The Rangers pitching was back to normal (horrible) and our seats were just as bad. We were down the 3rd base line where the seats angle out just a bit and it was impossible for my son to see the game with all the people in front of us even though we were on the 3rd row. I think Neal McCoy was off-key singing the national anthem too. Still, there was a lot of fun stuff that happened yesterday.

1. Watching Josh Hamilton at batting practice. We got there early enough to watch the Rangers take BP and Hamilton was hitting the ball VERY high and VERY far. It was incredible to watch.
2. Challenger. A bald eagle named Challenger flew into the stadium. WAY cool. Even better, Challenger's handlers walked right by us on the way out and my son got a picture from about 6 feet away.
3. Fly-overs always give me chills and the B-1 bomber out of Dyess did it again. A magnificent plan that rumbles the ground.
4. Watching my son with his 2nd/3rd cousin (I can't remember how all that works) who is several years younger. He was great with him.
5. The national anthem. I enjoy it the most at NASCAR events because I think there are more people there who have fought for our country or, at least, been involved in military duty. 2nd on my places to enjoy it is at baseball games.
6. Being with my children. I love every opportunity I have with them.

Opening Day

I need a blogger break so I will probably be writing seldom for the next several days.

Tomorrow (Tuesday) I'm pulling my young son out of school early and we are headed to Arlington, Texas for Opening Day at The Ballpark. Sure, it's not really Opening Day other than at the stadium but the excitement will be the same. The Rangers are 3-3 coming off their road trip which is awesome and the amazing thing is they won with pitching. Sure, it probably won't last but that's the way it is so far and I will enjoy it. An afternoon game, a full house, the national anthem and 2 B-1 bombers doing a flyover. What a wonderful day to enjoy in America.

Tonight, I'm watching a great basketball game between Kansas and Memphis. I'm pulling for Kansas (Texas would get to play the defending national champion twice next year) but Memphis will be hard to beat. What a wonderful night in America.

Last night, we were able to watch some of our kids who had participated in LTC and share in their successes. I was proud of both my kids doing well in the events they entered and the roles they take on. I really missed LTC this year - all the kids, all the energy, all the effort, preparation and focus on God. Every day I grow more excited about what the future holds because I continue to be impressed and inspired by the young people I get to be around at church.

Hail

There are few things that can wake me up but last night's hail storm was one of them. It was fast and loud. One friend I spoke with this morning got some really big hail that left some holes in his roof and water coming inside his house.
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Opening Day for the Rangers at home is next Tuesday and I'm excited. While the Rangers are 1-2 after their first series with the Mariners, Opening Day at home always brings hope and a little optimism that something crazy may happen and the team has a decent year. I'm not hoping for any kind of title, just that games in August and September have a little meaning.

A few years ago when most of the team was pretty young, they won 83 games or something like that and there was an air of excitement every time I went to the ballpark. Last year I couldn't give my tickets away.
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This morning I keep thinking about a recent conversation I was having about baptism. While our conversation on that day dealt with some broad thoughts on doctrine and interpretations, this morning I kept thinking about the beauty of baptism. A recent study we had in our youth class took me back to Romans 6 where it says we are united with Christ in baptism. For me, that is one of the most powerful pieces of scripture I read. I want to be united with Christ, to be one with Him. If that's what baptism does, it is a beautiful thing in my eyes.

I like the days I start off thinking about Christ and the joy I have through Him. I hope you share in that joy with me.

Say It Ain't So

For those 1 or 2 of you who read my blog on a regular basis, forgive my recent absences. My days have been starting off a bit more crazy lately and the blogs haven't been flowing.

However, this morning, I was greeted by one of the morning TV shows with a guy who is pregnant. Turns out he used to be a girl and now she/he is wanting to have a baby. It's all very confusing for me and the question I asked myself today is how I would deal with her/him as if I was sitting in a room visiting with her/him. It's just so very weird to me and I have no idea what I would say or if words would even come out.

Growing up, my dream was to attend the University of Texas and play basketball for the Longhorns. That didn't happen and I ended up at ACU with a good friend from Austin who took me home with him for a weekend. We went to the UT campus to see some of my high school friends and the first guy I see when I walk into the dorm has a spiked mohawk, mascara, a black dog collar with spikes, leather and chains everywhere...I just stopped with my mouth open and stared having not seen anything like that in real life.

That's sort of how I feel with this pregnant girl/guy. I'm not sure I wouldn't just sit there, mouth agape, wondering what to say or how to say it. I know exactly what the devil would have me say, the hurtful thoughts that could easily spew out of my mouth but what a struggle with is what God would have me say.

I wish I knew exactly what God would have me say and I had trouble imagining what the devil would want. Instead, I'll be thinking off-and-on about God's response for me and hopefully I won't run into any pregnant girl/guy soon.

Monday Morning Blahs

I'm feeling them this morning. I'm tired and void of energy. I needed to walk last night and didn't and I think I'm feeling the payback for it today.

The weekend baseball tournament wasn't rewarding overall but my son did pretty well and I'm happy for that. He went 1-3 and was on base 4 of 6 trips to the plate. The first two games were ugly for our team. Errors kill in baseball and we gave up a BUNCH of runs and came back to bracket play as the last seed. The two teams we played Saturday ended up being the #1 and #2 seeds and we played the #3 seed in our first bracket game. What luck, huh? Our guys battled yesterday and lost 11-10 in the last inning. It was a great game with lots of real baseball strategy thrown in to make it interesting. Better luck next time...I hope.
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I continue to wonder what will come up next in the Presidential battle for the Democrats. Will they play nicer and just have their mouthpieces do all the talking or will there be more mud-slinging between the two candidates? Does anyone remember who the Republican candidate is?

I don't know what to hope for as this all plays out but I sure wish we could start over with a new group of people I could get behind.

Sounds of Silence

I've had a lot going on lately but nothing worthy of blog-land.

I'm ready for the weekend. My son plays in a baseball tournament and I'm excited to get out and watch him. Now that I'm not coaching, I don't ride the highs and lows of the team so much and get to focus on 1 child instead of 10 or more. I don't feel the pressure of dealing with a "coach's kid" either which is kind of nice. I still sit through all of practice and give him my thoughts from time to time because I can't quit coaching altogether. I hope he does well this weekend and hope he has a lot of fun playing a game with some old and new friends.

One of the assistant coaches ran practice last night and made them practice sitting in the dugout, taking the field after a 3rd out and getting off the field when they got a 3rd out. I love organization in practice and love it on the field.

I have nothing more today. Maybe a weekend of ball and some time away from work will help refresh my mind and my thoughts.

I hope you have a great weekend and feel God's presence with you.

Easter + 1

I wonder what the disciples of Jesus felt like today. I can only imagine they still felt like they were in a dream to some degree. They had seen Jesus die on the cross and today He is with them again - alive and teaching. I imagine they were filled with a feeling of awe for what had happened and I imagine God felt as real to them at that moment as He ever had to them or their forefathers.

As I listened to the preacher at a church I was visiting, as I heard him talk about the proof people had seeing the stone rolled back, seeing the tomb empty, I couldn't help but think how many people are skeptical today or who refuse to believe. What is their hope? What do they see for the future?

I have hope because of what I celebrated yesterday. It is not a hope built on what I have seen or what I have touched or what I can even prove but a hope built on faith that Thomas and many others did see and believed. I have a hope built on faith that I have seen God work in my life and faith that it is more than coincidence or fate. I have hope built on faith secured by seeing the miracle of two babies born into this world and faith that only a great God could create such precious things. Because of my faith, I have hope for a future that is so much better than anything I know or can imagine here. I look forward to my last day on earth + 1 because I have faith I will wake up in what seems like a dream but will become a beautiful reality.

Out of Order

Bear Stearns almost going bust. $3.99 diesel. The bathrooms at a recent baseball tournament. All things that are out of order. Not as they should be. Changed in a seemingly sad, almost painful way.

My life gets out of order pretty often. I drift off course and wind up bumping into things I don't care to bump into. Stephen Covey, in his 7 Habits book, notes how a plane constantly drifts off course and has to be returned to the proper path, either manually or by computers that now figure that stuff out.

Last night, my daughter made me aware of a young girl whose life drifted off course. It was a girl I had coached in basketball 5 years ago and I remember her as a happy girl then. I don't know her emotional state today but I think, I hope, she's trying to get her life back on course. I hope last night was a step for her to connect with God and overcome the things she has been bumping into. I hope.
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Way Out Wise will be out of order tomorrow. I'm headed to T-town (that's Tyler to you non-hip folks) for a quick visit with the parental units. I'm going to do my best to be there no later than 3:00 tomorrow afternoon. That's when Texas begins their assault on reaching the Final Four - it should be a national holiday - and I'm sure they can't do it without me glued to the TV yelling at the refs.

Doel

I thought I saw animals lining up two-by-two yesterday afternoon. Man, it rained and rained and then it rained some more. I am thankful it was a steady rain at our place since too much water coming too fast always gets me worried about flooding. Instead, I just enjoyed the sound of it falling and am thankful the ground is moist again.
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I had the opportunity to take my children to a Stars game Saturday night and sit in a suite. It was a good treat for both kids and I think my daughter really enjoyed it. We had a pasta chef for the evening who made some really tasty food but it wasn't his food that was most interesting to me but his story. We arrived 20 minutes before anyone else so he cooked us a sampler platter (shrimp, sausage, chicken, mushrooms, artichoke, tomatoes, broccoli and pasta cooked in olive oil with some garlic, red pepper and cheese - YUMMY) and I started visiting with him about how he got started cooking. He opened his life to me, his youth in Illinois as a boxer and baseball player, his wife and two children and a job with a brother-in-law that led to a conviction of money laundering and 10 years in a federal prison. He's 5 years out of prison and still struggling to get back to where he wants to be spiritually, emotionally and financially. He's going through a program in Dallas that helps people get on their feet, find work and get on their own again but his admitted biggest need is to get right with God.

His name is Doel and he told me that prison was the best thing that happened to him because he met God there. He didn't enjoy it and wouldn't do it again but the time led him to a relationship with God that he doesn't believe that would have happened any other way. Since he's been out, Doel said he's been trying to do it on his own again and realized that wasn't the right way. He's seeking God again and wanting to follow Him.

I'm praying for Doel. What a story and lesson of what we sometimes have to go through to return to God.

Gambling Fever

The title sounds like it ought to be a song, huh?

My FAVORITE time of the year is upon us...yes, March Madness has started with the bracket selection yesterday and once again, I will be wagering heavily on the NCAA tournament. My habit started in 1988 at Weaver & Tidwell, CPAs where a young man in the IT department started a pool on the March Madness brackets. I played and for several years always won a little money back. The trick was being able to watch every televised conference tournament and figuring out who the hot teams were. I even one the tournament in one of those early years. Lately, I've been close to the money but it's all been a donation to the pot.

I'm back this year, again with hopes to turn my little wager into big money. Yep, I'm going to part with my $5 per bracket (I limit myself to 3 brackets at the most) and see if I can't reel in the prize money. The guy who runs it is hoping for 600...yes, 600 entries. That's the neat thing about this particular pool - most of the money goes to help the All Church Home in Ft. Worth. I know he takes kids to the Rangers game, I think coaches baseball teams for them and does other things I'm not as aware of.

If you like playing your hunch, you can go to www.madnessinmarch.com and sign up online. You'll have to send some money in and hope your teams win.

The Email Loop

I'm getting an email again that was first sent to me at least a couple of years ago. It's about a boy who was walking home from school with all of this books and supplies on a Friday. A classmate saw him and wondered why anyone would carry so much home on the weekend when he saw some other kids start bullying the boy with all the books. The classmate goes over to help the boy and walks home with him just being friendly. That strikes up a friendship that remains through high school. The book boy is the valedictorian and gives the commencement address and tells the story of his friend helping him on that day revealing his plans were to go home that day and commit suicide. He was carrying all of his stuff so his mom wouldn't have to go clean out his locker but the classmate, in an act of compassion, changed his desire. The point of the story is how one person can make a difference.

It's a touching email but the story is more than just touching. We may never know when a person is at their lowest or on their way there and we may never know when a single act of kindness or compassion can change the course of someone's life - but it can happen. As Christians, our actions may not only save some mortal problem, it might just lead someone to eternal life with God and it can all be started with the simplest of actions.

A Day Afield

I spent a good bit of yesterday hunting pheasant near the Red River. I didn't get as many opportunities to shoot as I would have liked but I never do but it was a fun day spent with two good friends. I enjoy my days hunting and fishing because it takes me into God's handiwork and I spend some time slowing down and seeing the wonders of His hand.

Last night, I had another opportunity to speak to our youth group and I am always thankful for that. I've mentioned before that speaking to a group of 13-18 year olds worries more than speaking to 40 year olds because I'm speaking to the future. I pray my words help them find their way to God.
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Obama's preacher was on TV today. Wow. I can't imagine if similar words came out of our pulpit. I appreciate the fact that I don't understand what it's like to live in "black America" as one lady described it on TV but when someone stands in a pulpit and damns America, the tone I hear isn't one of reconciliation but continued division.

The preacher won't affect my vote one bit but it does make me question how the divide between black and white will ever be eliminated when I hear his words.

Lonely People

Do you know a lonely person? It's a group of people I feel for. I guy who used to work for us was separated from his wife for a time and I really thought he might go crazy he was so lonely. Another man who works for us now strikes me as being a lonely person. He and I often talk about hunting and where all the quail have gone but he is very guarded when asked anything personal and says little about what he does with his time now. I hope I'm wrong and he's doing great but I feel for him today because I believe he is lonely.

One of the joys we should find in God is never being alone but I know in my life, I have often tried to keep my distance from God while I wallowed in whatever emotion that was prevalent at the time. It wasn't that God didn't want to be near me but that I was attempting to keep my distance from God. I think a lot of loneliness, sorrow, hatred, fear, self-pity and every other emotion could be alleviated from my life if I would always be searching for God instead of turning away from Him.

My hope today is that I will seek Him every day, every hour, every minute and draw Him closer to me instead of doing the opposite.

Ballin'

My son and I headed to Chickasha, OK last Friday for a cold weekend. I went Friday to tour the plant of one of our manufacturers and then my son was playing baseball over the weekend. The team didn't fare so well but I felt like my son had a good tournament and was happy to see him playing again. It was collllddddddddd. All day Saturday and Sunday morning I was bundled up with thermals, turtleneck, sweatshirt and coat, gloves and beanie (that's what they call 'em these days) and I was still cold. Sunday afternoon finally saw some sun and upper-50 degree temperatures.

Sunday morning, we met in a hotel room with another family to sing, pray and read God's Word. I couldn't help but think what the early church was like - maybe just a few families studying the Word, singing - maybe not the prettiest but with hearts attuned to God, and prayers lifted up by young and old. In some ways, I felt a closeness to God I don't always feel in a big group. In a small group, you're either plugged in and invested or you're on the outside looking in. Please don't misunderstand, I am not criticizing our big facilities and large numbers but simply saying I enjoyed the time we had Sunday, just a few of us, everyone participating and all focused on our wonderful Lord.

Total Control

I'm reviewing a software system for one of our entities named Total Control. It will supposedly give me total control over everything we need to do to make the company successful. As I sat in class last night thinking about my relationship with God, I thought it funny that the idea behind the software is often the idea behind how I try to run my life - with total control. Over the years, I think I've done a better job of letting God be in control, trusting that He will guide me through my days but I still find myself in situations where I rush to make a decision instead of stepping back and praying for/waiting on guidance.

I want to give God the control. It doesn't mean I won't make decisions, but instead, that I will make decisions based on His desire for me instead of my desire for myself. I want to surrender my will, my ego, my ways for His will, His love and His ways. I only want to make one decision on my own - to follow God and walk in His paths.

What If?

In my conversation with an 11 year old about the election last night, I was told that voting for one of the Democrats was bad because they were for abortion. He wondered if one of the Democrats was elected President, would there be more abortion. While we discussed the idea that the thing a President can do to affect legalized abortion is being able to place a Supreme Court Justice on the court who would uphold the current ruling, we also discussed what impact a wave of people who had decided to live more Christ-like would have.

For years, I have looked at politicians to uphold moral dignity for this country but for me, it's becoming more clearly focused that politicians only do what they believe the people want them to do. Having a Baptist preacher or a Mormon or an agnostic for President want make much difference in the morality of the country if the people of the country want to live a certain way. All that to say, each day I am realizing that the more I can live a Christ-like life and affect someone else to live that way...well, it's like that hair commercial from a few years ago where one lady used the shampoo, liked it and told someone and that person told two people and the good news about the shampoo grew exponentially.

I still believe picking a good person for President (or any elected office) is important but not near as important as me living in God's will every day and hopefully setting a good example for someone else to live in God's will and they affect two people and those two each affect two people and so on. Can you imagine what would happen to abortion if 50% of our country lived in God's will everyday? What would happen to drug use, alcohol abuse, hatred?

While this may sound idealistic, I believe it to be truth. You and I can have as big or bigger an impact on changing the world today than our President. The question is, will I live to change it for the better or worse?

Election Day

Today's the day Texas gets to play in the political scene. I've lost my appetite for election coverage over the past few years but I think tonight I will likely be watching the TV and keeping up with what is happening. While I will vote for neither Clinton nor Obama, I will be most interested in seeing which one pulls out the victory in Texas and Ohio. While I don't care for their politics, they have made it an interesting year.

I more concerned because I haven't done the job in getting familiar with more local races. I do know I have received a number of recorded phone calls from a few candidates and that alone has made me less inclined to vote for them. If some politician thinks interrupting the privacy of my home and talking about how wonderful he is will endear me to him, that is VERY wrong thinking.
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If you want to hear the Word proclaimed, spend some time at the Decatur Church of Christ. The past few Wednesday nights, I have listened to some incredible messages about baptism and the cost of bearing the name of Jesus from our youth minister, Jacob Baker. Rick Ross, our minister has finished a series of sermons on Heaven and started one on the cross and both have kept me captivated and motivated to know God and see His hope and plan for us. I'm getting the CD's of both series to keep and listen to from time to time to remain challenged and convinced in my desire to be a child of God.

WWJD

While pondering my questions about the Lord's Supper, I can't help but go one step further and question my worship. I almost hesitate to type my thoughts because someone might ask "is he talking about me?" Well, my intention is to only raise the question of my personal thoughts in the past and present but if you think the question applies to you, I would encourage you to spend time thinking about it.

To the point, WWJD in this context asks "what would Jeff do?" What would Jeff do if Jesus was sitting in worship with me? Would I be more alert? Would I sing with more fervor or smile more or show more emotion? Would I feel more emotion about the words of the song? What would Jeff do if Jesus came to preach at my church? Would I look at my watch periodically to see how long he was going? Would I be wishful that he was moving it along so I could get home and watch a football game or get my nap in? Would I spend time thinking about whether I liked the songs or not, would my mind drift off during a prayer, would I dread the potluck lunch after church? How would I view worship differently than I do today.

There are many things about our current worship that I'm not a big fan of. I think we end worship on a down note instead of an upbeat ending. I think Sunday nights are painful and forced. I want to sing more "new" songs that engage our youth in the worship as opposed to some of the standards I can sing without thinking about. At the same time, I realize other people see it completely opposite of me and in many ways, we are both right so I can accept the stuff I don't like because I know I have brothers and sisters accepting things I do like. That said, I go back to my initial question and ask myself how I would feel about worship if Jesus sat on my pew. I think I would have much fewer questions and ideas on how to make it better and would have a more intensive focus on what and who I was really there for.

I pray God will help me see Jesus on my pew every time I gather with the body to worship.

Efficiency

I wrote in one of the early blogs of this year that this would be my space to write some thoughts - often just for my own benefit - so I can see them in words to think about. This is one of those. I'm not looking for agreement nor an argument, only to think about something more deeply. If it makes you think, great. If not, great.
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I've been visiting with a friend at work recently about communion. I don't know much about it other than what I read in the Bible so I've never studied it in it's historical context. That said, my view of communion is that it is one of the most significant pieces of my worship, a centerpiece of why I am there. Because of that, it has led me to the idea that we have made the act of communion a very efficient process that I find hard to believe was ever meant to be efficient. We have the right number of men who travel the aisles passing the right number of trays with the right number of cups and then it's on to the offering and the preacher. Yet, during that efficient process, we are remembering what Christ did on the cross. Would we even need a worship service if Christ had not been our sacrifice? With that question, I begin to wrestle with how we should "do" communion. 1 Corinthians refers to a meal, albeit a meal that the Corinthians have messed up, but still a meal. When Jesus was with the apostles telling them what the bread and the wine were for, they were at a meal. In my mind, that implies a much different setting than what I see on Sunday mornings today.

The congregation I worship with shares the Lord's Supper each Sunday and that's the way I want it. My translation of the Bible says "as often as you do this..." which, in my feeble way of thinking, makes me wonder whether once a week is enough or even too often (I'll probably deal with pattern theology at some point) but I prefer to share it at least weekly because Jesus' death and resurrection is the only thing that really matters. Without that, I am nothing. With it, I have a hope that is beyond comprehension.

I could go on babbling about what I think but enough for today. I'll wrestle with it more and begin reading some books I've bought to learn more about communion in the early church. In the meantime, my only hope is that however you celebrate the remembrance and covenant God made with each of us through the cross, you will rejoice in the love and mercy God has for me and for you.

Precious Water

We spent most of yesterday without water. Without going into a long, drawn out story, suffice it to say that a little rubber o-ring (basically the same thing that grounded our flight home from Sao Paula in 2006) created a situation where our water had to be turned off. Hopefully, we can find a replacement this morning and get the precious commodity flowing again.

I hear stories about areas where there is a water shortage and try to imagine what life would be like when we can't get any of it. I'm hear to tell you that it would be miserable. While oil companies are wanting to pump their waste back into the ground, I'm growing closer to becoming an activist for the groundwater protection groups.

We stayed at my wife's parents house last night and my daughter had early track practice today so I had to get up extra early this morning. My son is our only morning person and even he was a bit sluggish this morning. We were 15 minutes late getting my daughter to practice so I wrote a note that I hope keeps her out of the doghouse.

If you get a chance today, have a drink of water and take the time to enjoy it. Trust me, you will miss it when it's gone.

The View From The Road

I was up LATE last night (the can't sleep at the hotel syndrome) watching CNN's ongoing coverage of the political landscape. The Democratic and Republican "strategists" were funny for a bit and then it was too much. All they do is work to twist each other's words for their side but I guess that's what they have to do to make it all interesting. It seems Osama Obama is building the momentum and Texas is quite the focus for Hillary. Who would have thought Texas would be such a focal point of politics?

I am becoming increasingly curious who the nominees will pick for their running mate. I think the VP could play a bigger role in this election than they have in some time.
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Did everyone see Texas whip A&M the other night? Hook 'em Horns!
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I read a sad but compelling Internet email story today about a little boy who dies of cancer and writes his mother a letter from Heaven. It is very touching and just makes me want to get home and hug my family. One more sleep to go!

On the Road and Out of Touch

I'm headed back to Salado tonight and will be there for the next few days breaking in a new store manager. This is a part of the job I do not enjoy but necessary. Since I'll be busy trying to remember all the stuff she needs to know, I probably won't be blogging much unless those late nights not sleeping in a hotel gives me time to write.
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I went to a youth group function yesterday afternoon and ran into two relatives. One I had seen recently but he didn't recognize me. The other I haven't seen in years and it was fun to get to catch up a little in the brief time we had.
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Being at the youth event, I missed the Daytona 500 and the NBA All-Star game but did hear that the Jason Kidd deal is still likely to happen. I think the Mavs are giving up too much but if they win it all this year, I'll take it back.

Friction

I'm cracking up that Devean George is potentially killing the Jason Kidd trade for the Mavs. I didn't even know George was still on the team (I catch one or two games a month so I'm not completely in the know) and he certainly isn't an integral part to this or a future team yet he is holding the whole thing up.

Now, I'm not saying the trade is a good deal but how often do you see leaders trying to move forward and some seemingly insignificant piece of the whole puzzle throws a wrench in the deal? I know there have to be some really frustrated people right now all because of this one guy. On the other hand, it is his right to take care of himself and his future but it just seems so funny sitting where I am today (making MUCH less money and often paying to watch the game I love).

It's Hard to Write

It's one of those mornings when it's hard to write because I want to make a positive comment but the day started off in a fashion that has me mad at myself. The kids did not cooperate with me or each other which set me off. You know when one of your children asks for the definition of irate there's a good chance it's not a good thing. I hope we have all recovered and each of us put a positive spin on the day.
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I watched a bit of the Roger Clemens/Brian McNamee hearing yesterday. McNamee looks like a guy trying to get out of a hole to me. Clemens looks like a guy who may not have done something wrong but is close to the edge. The legislators - well, they just looked puffed up and self-serving. What a waste of my tax dollars. The games can't be replayed. The records can't be rewritten. Punish who needs to be punished and clean it up for the future because I really wonder if the game is much cleaner today than it was 3 years ago.

The sad part for Clemens (and anyone else accused) is that if he is innocent, his name will always be linked with the scandal. That's too bad.
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If the deal goes through, the Mavs have to win this year. I have not heard one person who thinks the trade is a good idea. I did hear it might be on the skids because of one of the spare parts in the deal. I wonder what Cuban and Donnie Nelson are thinking.

Thankful #3

One of my favorite songs we used to sing at church went something like "count your blessings, name them one by one, count your blessings see what God has done..."

Today I'm thankful for all the things I take for granted. I'm thankful for the health I have and the health of my family. I'm thankful for the air I breathe and the beauty around me. You get the idea. I think if we really counted all the things we could be thankful for and named them one by one, it would take our waking hours.

I take far too much for granted. I know my life could change dramatically in an instant. I was at a baseball game Monday night where one of the players chasing a foul ball went face first into a brick wall. The sound made my stomach turn. I don't know what has happened with the young man but while I stood there praying for him, I couldn't help but wonder if he would be paralyzed or dying. In the blink of an eye, his life and the life of his family may have been changed forever.

Today I thank God for so many things, big and small. I hope I will be more and more aware of the great things I have in my life and around me and take time to appreciate them more.

Thankful #2

I am thankful for my family. I have a wonderful wife and she is wonderful for one, simple reason. Her ultimate goal is to follow God. She and I are different in many ways. She enjoys putting on garage sales and I don't. I could spend every night watching a basketball or baseball game and she doesn't care to watch any of them unless our son or a relative is playing. She's a visual person who can see most things as a canvas ready to be painted and I do good to see what is right in front of me. We are different about things of this earth but we agree heartily on the one thing that matters most and that is where we want to spend eternity. That makes everything else pretty easy. Being that it's rapidly approaching Valentine's Day, I could go on and on about her beauty - the sparkle in her eyes, the quick smile, the 19 year old figure she has - but her true beauty lies in her heart for God.

I have two pretty wonderful children too. They are a daily delight and they both do things that overwhelm me at times. They are intelligent, they are funny and they really behave well the vast majority of the time. More than that, they have both developed of love of being in the church, being apart of God's family and trying to do the right thing in all situations. They are like all kids, a little rebellious at times, very stubborn at times and forget to use their brains at times but that is nothing compared with their hearts. I have been richly blessed with two angels.

I have incredible parents - both my own and my wife's. Two of them have been my guides for 43 years and two have been great examples for 17 years. Each one is a gift I cherish.

The Lord has been so good to me and my family is a shining example of that that I am thankful for.

Thankful

We studied Psalm 100 yesterday in class and spent some time reflecting on what we are thankful for. One comment was thanksgiving that our Father continues to love us and forgive us when we fail, when we sin against Him.

I look around our church and I see a lot of people who have made mistakes in their lives - some big and some small - but mistakes that I bet many of them wish they could take back. There are people who have battled with drugs and alcohol, there are people who have battled with sexual sins, there are people who have spent time in prison, there are people who are battling ego and pride. There are a lot of battles going on and some of those people still lose the battle periodically but God is still there for them. He still cares, still loves, still forgives. How can we not be thankful for a God like that? How can we not shout for joy?

The thing I'm most thankful for is that while I see those people in our church, I look in the mirror every morning and see someone who needs God's love and forgiveness as much as anyone and I am thankful.

My God is majestic. My God is powerful. My God is loving. My God is forgiving. What more can I want? What more do I need?

I pray that people around me see God today.

Crunch Time

Tonight I am speaking to our youth group. When I have done this in the past, I find myself gleefully telling Jacob, our youth minister, how happy I would be to speak and then the day of the event I begin sweating early hoping I can connect the audience. I was a kid once but I'm not any longer. My thinking has changed. The way I talk has changed. The way I see things have certainly changed (I used to think 43 year old men didn't know what they were talking about - now I'm convinced they don't). I wonder if I'll be able to say things so they understand and use illustrations they can understand. When I told Jacob I would speak this week, I knew what I was going to talk about. Now, I'm second-guessing and wondering if I should come up with something different.
I think my concerns are based completely on my audience. When I talk to my peers, I hope what I talk about will help them. When I talk to our youth group, I hope what I talk about will change their lives. Surely that's not putting too much pressure on myself, is it? Ha.

Before I speak to any group I always pray the same prayer and will do so again tonight. "Father, let the words I speak be your words, let the message they hear be your message and let hearts be open to your love. Amen." I hope you'll pray that for me too.

Time

I'm reminded again today how quickly time flies. Tonight, my wife is headed to the high school for an orientation session for my daughter. How in the world can my little baby girl be headed to high school? Time is speeding by me and causing me to once again look at how I'm using it. Am I letting it slip through my fingers or am I using it for good purposes? Am I doing the things God wants me to be doing? Am I using my talents? As I am pulled into my mid-40's, I am beginning to think about life, but not this life. I'm thinking about the life that awaits me and what I need to be doing today to insure that I am helping other people get there - especially my little angels, one of whom starts high school next year.

Time is flying by and I am praying that God helps me use it wisely.

Bet It Was QUIET

I'm guessing the Patriots locker room was really, really quiet last night.
My hope for a 0-0 tie didn't come to fruition.
I watched more of the game than I would have since I was at a friend's house who was watching.
I wanted the Giants to win so I didn't have to hear the Patriots were the greatest team ever yap.
I wanted the Patriots to win so I didn't have to listen to any more from Mercury Morris.
Good for Eli.
Tom (Brady) and Tony (Romo) need to quit visiting girlfriends the bye-week before a big game.
I didn't catch many commercials but didn't think any of those I saw were exceptional.
I'm ready for some baseball.

I read an article about Josh Hamilton, the Rangers new centerfielder, and his path from being one of the greatest prospects out of high school to a drug addict and back again. It's one of those good stories that you hope stays good. He says his faith is what holds him up and feels a responsibility to take his story to kids in hopes of keeping them from the same mistake. Good for him. I don't have much hope for the Rangers this year but will enjoy watching this guy play.

I'm on the road again at the end of the week. Every time I put my suitcase away, I think "it will be awhile before I need that." I need to quit thinking that. Fortunately it's just a short trip to Salado but I have to hire a new store manager for that store a will have to be there for a couple of days for interviews.

Did the Super Bowl turn out like you hoped?

That's the Truth

I was reading a blog the other day written about prayer and being ready for what God has in store for us. One of the truths I've come to grips with is that God answers my prayer but it may not be the answer I want and it may affect my life in ways I didn't think about. Sometimes, these changes are good, other times they can be a little painful. I've found that through diligent prayer God has stretched me, pushed me in ways I didn't necessarily want to go, accept things I may not have wanted to accept and work through things I wasn't thinking about working through.

For years I have believed that God answered prayer and I have learned that the answer isn't always what we ask for. What I am now learning to a great extent each day is that as my prayers become bolder, as my request change from simply asking God for what I want to asking God to use me the way He wants me to be used, I have found I have to lean on Him more and return to Him for more prayer on giving me strength to do the things before me.

I am learning that the more intimate I become with God, the more I need to prepare for what God has in store for me. He will stretch me and push me, He will lead me in paths that have obstacles to overcome to mountain-tops of grandeur but it will not always be easy and it will not always fit into my grand plan.

The more I know God, the more I need God.

Great Things and Not So Great Things

Yesterday was a mish-mash of good and bad in my little world. I received an email from the coach of the team my son was going to play on notifying us that he had lost a couple of players and had decided to do something else with his son leaving us high and dry in the baseball world. A couple of us that remain are scrambling to keep a team together so our kids can play but feel like it's too little time to get anything done. My son just laughed when he heard the news but I can't help but believe he feels the same disappointment his mother and I do. He worked hard to make a team and then it just vanishes. It may be a good learning experience for him but he's just 11 and can wait to learn about disappointment a little longer.
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I had a friend come up to speak to our youth group last night. Tyler Bullock is a "kid" I've known since he was 6 who is now playing professional baseball as the AA level in the Atlanta Braves organization. It's neat to see someone grow up, to succeed in what they want to do and see them stay grounded in what God wants for them. Tyler had some good points for the kids to think about last night and I appreciate him being willing to share his story and his message about keeping God first in his life.
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Jaci Isham was baptized after church last night. What a highlight for a parent and a great way to end the evening at church. I'm happy and proud for Jaci, another great kid.

Bush's Last Stand

I took time to watch the State of the Union speech last night being that it is Bush's last one. I'm always amazed - and saddened - to see the President make a point that half the people stand up and cheer for and half remain seated and give the appearance they are bored to death. When our political leaders resort to junior high tactics, I get the feeling we are not on the right track as a country. I do enjoy hearing the President recite his past victories and his hope for things to come but looking at many of the faces in the audience, I know much of it will only be verbal dreams with no realization.

Add the drama between Obama and Hillary and now we have Mitt and McCain taking potshots at each other and it's just a sad environment we have to vote in. Why do the candidates think we want to vote on them based on the negative things they can point out about the other candidate instead of the positive things they think they will bring to the office?

It's just sad.
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We had a great Bible class Sunday morning discussing spiritual warfare and the demons that are constantly trying to attack us. The discussion, like others before it, remind me how futile I often spend my time trying to solve all my problems instead of calling on a supernatural being who wants to help me, wants to protect me and wants to defeat those demons for me. I can't find a supernatural battle but God can yet day after day, I often find myself flailing about and forgetting to call on my Lord. I just paused to pray for God's help and protection for today for me and for you. I need Him and I believe He will protect me.

A Disappointing Ending

My basketball coaching career came to a disappointing end with a loss and my team not making the playoffs this year. I have spent the weekend replaying the year in my head with lots of what-if's going through my head. What if I would have done this differently? What if I had done that differently?

My mantra through these how ever many years has always been to teach fundamentals and let each boy play as much as possible and I feel like I remained true to that effort. I hope I helped each one develop a love for the game that I have enjoyed for so long and, if they decide to continue playing, have equipped them with some skills that will carry them forward. Even more, I hope I have had a hand in equipping them with skills that will carry them through their lives.

Donny, my brother-in-law and friend, has helped me coach the boys teams and I appreciate the opportunity to do that with him and have both my son and nephew on the same team.

Now I get to move into a phase of being the armchair coach making me much smarter than the actual coach. I will miss working with the different kids but it's also nice to be able to focus on one child. My daughter has been running cross country the last two years and it's not bad going to a meet and being able to focus on her (not that I would ever be caught coaching a running event). I think I will enjoy that opportunity with my son now (and hope he does too).

I know there will be other milestone events with both my kids that will end up being difficult to deal with. In the meantime, I will miss this part of my life but keep moving forward looking to enjoy every waking second I can with both of them.

No Ice

The big winter event didn't turn out so big after all. Maybe we will get another chance at an ice storm later this year. In the meantime, it's supposed to be 60 tomorrow. That's crazy.
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I was thinking last night how different the newscast would be right now if the Cowboys were in the Super Bowl. The sports segment last night seemed like an after-thought.
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How about Baylor and A&M going FIVE extra periods in their basketball game the other night? Some of those guys looked like they could barely walk off the court when it was over. I'm happy for Baylor to be making some good news with their basketball program and hope their coach and players get rewarded somehow for the adversity they have come through the last 4 years.
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That's it. It's Friday and my brain is mush this morning. Have a great day and remember that God loves you.

Knowing God

I was in a great class last night discussing how to know God. I have long had an intellectual understanding of God but for many years, I didn't strive to know Him. Over the past few years, I have really wanted to know God. I think that desire has come with my increased awareness of His grace.

When I went through periods where I asked for forgiveness but didn't feel worthy of accepting it, I didn't want an intimate relationship with God. As I have learned to accept His mercy, to let it cover me, to have joy in the comfort of His forgiveness, I have yearned to know God very personally. In some ways, it's still a scary proposition (because it will require more changes in me) but I know it will lead me to more peace, more joy and more comfort.

I do want to know God. I want to seek Him and I want to surrender my life to him. It's not an easy thing for me. The question was raised last night, what does surrender mean? One of the thoughts I had was that it meant to quit fighting against something. I suppose that's the way I feel at times - that I'm fighting against God for changes He wants in my life. I need to quit the fight against God and join the battle against sin, against Satan.

I want to know God, I just need to start acting on that desire.

Things Change

Talking to my son last night, I realized this Saturday could possibly be my last time to coach him in a sports activity. It hit me like a ton of bricks. It's a phase of life that is changing like so many have and so many more will but the realization that this phase is over makes me a bit sad.

One of the great joys I've had in my life is working with so many kids over the years. They have brought me many surprises and lots of joy. I will miss the opportunity to build relationships with them but appreciate the time I have had. It will be neat to watch them continue to grow and change.
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We went to the Ft. Worth rodeo the other night and had great seats and a fun time but I was ready to go about half way through the night. I remember when my wife and I went to the rodeo 5 or more times a year when we were first married and I remember how much we enjoyed it. Not anymore.

That said, Stock Show cinnamon rolls are still one of the top-3 I've ever had.

Where Did It Go?

Time. It's zooming past me the last few days and I don't seem in control of it. I need more hours in my day to do all the things that are coming my way but I seem to be in the same position of many people I know.

My mom told me the story of asking her butcher one time, "how do you manage it when you have so many people in line?" His response was simple and provoking, "I just help one person at a time."

I've learned there is only so much I can do and I'll just do what I can and start over the next day on what remains. It may not be the best way to handle it but it helps keep my stress manageable most of the time and I get to enjoy the time I spend with people.
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I didn't see the Democrats debate but the snippets I saw this morning seemed like the battle is on. The comments between Clinton and Obama seem to be personal and very pointed. It will make the election process interesting to watch but I still can't get excited about any candidate.
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Last Sunday was my first time to be at church in about 4 weeks. Between the holidays, business travel and my little preaching gig, I've been gone and it was so good to be back. There is a familiarity with "home" but it was more than that, it was being in the presence of God with people I truly love. I already look forward to the next time we will be together.

Running Late

It's one of those mornings where I got out of my regular routine and can't get caught up with where I need to be. For those of you who prefer to read this earlier in the morning, my apologies.

My daughter went to Winterfest over the weekend with several members of the youth group. She loves it and really looks forward to it. They get to stay up late and are surrounded by a very large group of kids. I picked my daughter up around midnight Saturday night and she was excited but tired. I asked her what the theme was and her response was "it doesn't matter what we wear to church." I just laughed knowing it wasn't the best time to dig deeper but on the way to church Sunday morning with her and my son in the car, I asked her the question again and it offered an opportunity to discuss the true meaning of the lesson. When we were done, I think we all agreed that the topic was more along the lines of our focus needing to be on the inside, not the outside. If our heart isn't right, an Armani suit nor tattered rags can cover the real problem.

As Christians, we need to remember that the beauty of our buildings nor the beauty of our congregants can outshine the beauty of Christ. Our church may have a mismash of people wearing suits, jeans or shorts but all people need to see are our hearts. If they can see our hearts, we can help them find Christ but until they see our hearts, until the know we care, they won't see Jesus.

It was a great lesson that was presented to my daughter and many others and I pray that those kids will take it to school, to the playgrounds, to the malls, to their text messages and they will use their hearts to make the biggest difference in how people see them.

It's Good To Be Home

Other than a small flight delay, it was a safe trip home and I am glad to be back with my family and in my usual setting. I was speaking with someone I met at the trade show who travels 40 weeks out of the year and I was thankful that is not something I have to do. It's good to get away from the office at times but more than a couple of days without family is not something I look forward to. All that to say, I was so glad to see my wife at the airport and my kids when I got home.

I met Eddie Gossage at the airport. In case you don't know, he's the guy who runs Texas Motor Speedway. I introduced myself and told him my wife had become a big NASCAR fan and I think he's a fan of my wife now. He was very nice and, as a life long Packer fan, excited about both the upcoming NASCAR season and the run the Packers are making this year.

New York was certainly excited about the Giants. It seemed like I saw more talk about the Giants and more players being interviewed than I do with the Cowboys.

It's going to be a hectic few days trying to get caught up so I'm off to try to figure out what I need to do next. Have a great day!

Ewwwwwwww

Several bad things are happening all at once. It's 4:20 in the morning here in NYC and I've been awake for an hour. That's not good.

The TV news program that is on at the moment is showing some of the bad American Idol auditions. They are bad.

A UFO sighting in Stephenville? I think that's what I heard on the news today.

My hotel is a block away from the Ed Sullivan Theater where the David Letterman show is done. I walked over last night just to say I'd been there. I walked down Broadway and it's not what I thought it would be like but Times Square is sort of neat. There are so many video billboards, it seems like it is daytime with all the lights.

The office building across the street leaves most of the lights on all night. I wonder how much electricity that wastes? I'm on the 42nd floor and all I can see are offices across the way.

The skyline here is crazy. I'd like to come back when I could do some sightseeing but I would not want to live here. Give me some space in Texas.

I got a $5 Starbucks card from one of the vendors at the show. I went to a Starbucks (it seems there is one every other block) and what typically costs $3.50 in Decatur is $5.50 here. I think the value of a $5 Starbucks card is that I get to use it more than once at home.

I think I'll try to get a couple of hours of sleep now. I look forward to sleeping at my house later tonight.

One and Done

It was a disappointing end to a fun season for the Cowboys. I don't know whether to be happy for the 13 wins or upset about the playoff loss to the Giants. I'm not much of a pro football fan anymore so I guess I'm not too happy or upset other than I don't really care to watch many other games. I'll be cheering for San Diego to go the rest of the way and if they lose, I don't know that I'll even watch the over-hyped bowl. On the bright side, college basketball is in full swing.

It's cold and rainy in New York City. I know that because last night I made a quick jaunt through Times Square in the rain. Tonight, I decided to stay in and stay warm. My feet were already tired after cruising through a huge trade show all day so staying in and getting a little work done was OK.

Elvis is still alive. Yep, he was at the trade show posing with a pink Cadillac and singing. Too bad my mom isn't here.

I've got another day of trade show walking tomorrow and hopefully a brief sightseeing tour Wednesday morning before heading back. I'm really tired of hotels and airports - especially airports. It will be nice to be back in Decatur, Texas, at home with my wife and children.

Going Home

I'm headed home tomorrow. It's been a fast trip and just two sleeps in a foreign land. I'm ready to get there and hug my wife and children.

I may have mentioned that my rental is a Ford Focus. It's a small car and the lights don't come on and go off automatically. The headlights of the trucks behind me shine right on the rear view mirror and it drives me nuts. I can't wait to get back in my truck.

Eating lunch today, I looked at the window and was gazing at the snow capped Rockies. What an awesome sight. In my mind, seeing the mountains here always makes me think I'm getting a small preview of Heaven.

I'm a Board Member for an industry association and we met today. One of the topics was where to hold the annual conference in 2009. Three cities in Colorado were all targeted with Breckenridge being the leading contender. Several of the bored members were suggesting places like New Orleans, Lexington and some place in Minnesota. Do they not all realize that the Blue River flows through Breckenridge and provides some excellent trout fishing? What more could they ask for?

I've got to go to bed. I'm up early for a meeting and I don't like up early.

Let It Snow, Let It Snow...

I arrived in Denver, Colorado today to a 32 degree temperature and big snowflakes falling. It was really pretty but not so great to drive in. Tonight, I've seen road-graders and bulldozers out on the streets moving snow and the rent car looks like I drove through a mud hole.

I got to the rental car place and they lady says, "I can't find your reservation but we do have a compact available." I laughed and then realized she was serious so I'm cruising the Rockies in a Ford Focus. I'm glad it's just me.

I go home Friday night and leave Sunday morning for New York City. I wish my family was traveling with me. I look forward to seeing NYC (I've never been there) but it won't be as much fun by myself. My daughter was going to come on this trip so we could eat at one of my favorite restaurants that serves LOTS of boiled shrimp but she had UIL competition. I tried to get my wife to go to NYC with me but she has this strange desire to be at home with the kids (what's up with women - going all maternal? Just kidding, I'm thankful she has that desire).

I'll try to blog some but it will probably be sporadic. Thanks for checking in and I'll catch up with you when I can.

The Dad Sermon

This past Sunday, my sermon came from a conversation I had not too long ago with an unmarried friend who has never had children. We were talking about work and life and I expressed one of the benefits of my job was being close by to attend anything my children were doing. My friend couldn't understand why that seemed so important; what it would hurt if I wasn't around for everything. Then I relayed a story and when I was done he said, "I get it, that truly makes sense."

The story occurred when I was 16 or 17, a punk kid who knew more than most people, certainly my parents. I was in the backyard sitting on a picnic table and my dad came out in the yard. For whatever reason, I started asking him why he didn't make as much money as another Allstate agent in town, one who lived in a bigger house and was on TV commercials at the time. I remember my dad's response so well. He said he could make that much money if he wanted to work the way the other man did, spending his days, nights and weekends selling insurance. And then came the words that hit me right in the heart..."I could do that but I want to be home to be available if you ever need me." I don't remember saying anything else.

That sentence has bounced around in my head for years and as I have matured and realized my parents are pretty smart and I'm not quite the Einstein I mistook myself for, I realize those words that came from my father came from THE Father. I appreciate my dad because we can say "I love you" and hug when we see each other and when we leave each other but there may be nothing else my dad has ever said that was more God-like to me than "I want to be available if you ever need me."

That's the beauty of our God, the Father. He is always available when we need Him. He is always present, always waiting for our cry, our call for help. He's always ready to bear our burdens, pick us up and encourage us through our trials. The Father is always available.

I love my dad because of so many things but nothing more than the fact that he was always available to me. Thank you Dad.

The Politics Machine

Iowa's over and I was surprised by the results. New Hampshire is tomorrow and I wonder what the media will be saying on Wednesday. Huckabee's margin of victory surprised me and Hillary coming in 3rd surprised me. Huckabee isn't one who gives me much confidence with his demeanor and Obama really scares me. Why do Iowa and New Hampshire have so much influence in the process? Why doesn't everyone vote at one time as is done in the general election?

I'll be keeping an eye on New Hampshire tomorrow before and after watching Decatur take on Argyle (#3 in the state right now). Go Eagles?

I finished my preaching tour yesterday. It was fun and so beneficial. If nothing else, I spent some time in the Word that opened my eyes and my heart to some things God wanted me to hear. I plan to write about my sermon later this week but have to get busy today.

Growth

I was reading an article about church growth last night and wondering what the hubbub was all about. I guess I question it because I've often thought of church growth simply as a growth in numbers. Today, that is an idea that irritates me. We are a counting society; we want to know how many and how much. Maybe it's because it is so much easier to quantify a body in a seat rather than a life in action.

I was reading a summary of another book the came out with a new "buzzword" to me but one I might like. You may have heard the terms "reaching the unchurched" or "seeker-sensitive service." The new one on me was that we become "sinner-sensitive churches." The idea was that we realize we are all sinners, not better than the next person who walks in the door, and minister that way. Does it matter if the next person who walks in has a drinking problem, drug problem, gambling problem or pride problem? Not if we are sinner-sensitive, not if we realize those are the people Jesus was drawn to, not if we realize we are no different.

I've got a lot of things bouncing around in my head and 2008 might be the year I really start to think out loud more. I may use this blog as my sounding board for myself, not looking for arguments or support, simply a place to write down my ideas and begin to unscramble them in an attempt to find who God wants me to be, what God wants me to be doing. While many of the things going on in my feeble noggin' are counter to what I'm used to, I don't hold negative ideas about what I or the church have done in the past. I only want to look forward, to find where God might lead me and others to change the world. A part of that change starts with me.

Happy New Year

It's 2008, can you believe it? Time continues to speed by and I want it so desperately to slow down but it doesn't listen to me.

Since I last posted, I celebrated Christmas with my family, got some cool stuff that I really don't need but plan to enjoy anyway, saw my favorite basketball tournament (ranked by Sports Illustrated as one of the top-5 holiday tournaments in the country) had a birthday and was the preacher for a little church in Denton. The Cowboys limped into the playoffs and I won my fantasy football league even though I was the 7th seed going in. How's that for excitement?

I enjoyed my preaching gig and preach this Sunday also. It's not something I am equipped to do on a regular basis and I'm certainly not qualified to deliver a message like many preachers do every week (Rick Ross comes to mind) but it gets me into God's word and causes me to spend more time thinking about Him and what He tells us and wants for us. My sermon last week and this week are things that have been on my heart and mind lately which makes it easier because I've been developing thoughts over time.

Last week, I talked about the paralyzed man who was brought to Jesus by 4 friends. They couldn't get in the house where Jesus was speaking so they carried him to the roof, dug a hole and lowered him to the floor. Can you imagine the faith and hope they had to do all of that? Then when Jesus sees the man, he tells the paralyzed man who has been carried by friends that his sins are forgiven. Wow! I wonder what the paralyzed man thought. Was he ecstatic to be forgiven of his sins? Was he confused because he came to be healed?

The story resonates with me because I place myself in the story and I think I would come to Jesus to be healed of my infirmity (diabetes) and if Jesus said I was forgiven of my sins, I wonder if my reply wouldn't be "thanks, but what about my diabetes." I get so caught up in wanting what I want or think I need that I forgot a greater gift has been given to me through Jesus. In 2008, I will continue to ask God for things but I want to do so much, much, much more thoughtful of what has already been given to me, forgiveness of sins. What a beautiful gift that I too often overlook. What a beautiful gift that I want to begin to celebrate.