The Other Side of the Coin

Tod and LeeAnn (Bailey) Brown were classmates of mine at college. This past week, they were in a terrible accident that took the life of their 13 year old son and has their daughter going through several surgeries to repair damage to her legs. It is heartbreaking and I cannot begin to imagine their pain.

Tod and LeeAnn are incredible people who have a deep and strong committment to God and faith in Him. It was evident when we were in school and it is evident today. A web site has been set up to keep people posted on what is happening with their family and it includes a guestbook where people have left notes. The sheer volume of notes to the family speaks volumes about the impact they have had on the lives of others but the notes themselves show how deeply this family went with so many. When I think about the loss of their son, I cannot comprehend what feelings they might have but I think I can comprehend what their son experienced, the environment he was raised in and the faith I am confident he had in his Father. In my idea of Heaven, I think the young boy is sitting with God today telling Him about the wonderful parents he had on earth.

I hurt for the Browns and hope they will come through this as best they can. I feel certain that their faith and hold onto God will do that. I can only imagine the pain of their loss will never go away but they will also see the other side of the tragedy, that their son is now with God.

Cindy Sheehan

Most of us know Ms. Sheehan because of her anti-war protests outside of President Bush's Crawford home. She has been on TV, pictured with Hugo Chavez, praised and villified. I am one who has thought of her in a negative light but her letter/blog that she was giving up the anti-war movement made her sound human and made me pause to think.

I cannot say anything against her bitterness over her son's death. I cannot pretend to know the horror I would feel if it were one of my children. While her crusade led her down some paths that seemed bizarre at times, I want to believe the motivation for it was due to the loss she suffered. Yet, as her "fame" rose, her personal relationships seemed to fall apart. Her husband divorced her and it seems she has other children that were left behind in the wake of her effort.
Now, she seems a sad and broken woman. One of her comments, that the American people are more concerned with the next American Idol than the loss of life in a war, doesn't sound to off-base at times. Her realization that she has failed important relationships in her life isn't too unlike many people we come in contact with every day.

I am here to say that I am not so unlike Ms. Sheehan. I often see what needs to be more important in other's lives while falling short of doing what is best in mine. My hope for her is that she can go and repair some of her broken relationships (which is why she said she is giving up the protest), that the damage left behind her can be fixed all the while hoping that as a country, we will all be more focused on what is truly important. I know that is what I want to do.

Memorial Day

It's a great day but also a sad day. It's a day we honor our fallen military men and women, people who have sacrificed their lives to allow us to maintain our freedom. There are so many thoughts on wars fought, both today and throughout history, but one thing remains constant. In all of these battles, there have been people willing to put themselves on the line for me, my children, my children's children and on.

Because I have not been in the military or a situation where my life was on the line, I do not think I can begin to understand the courage and bravery our military people exhibit. I am so thankful for them and the fact that they have the courage and bravery to fight wars for us.

I am thankful for all of the men and women who have served in the armed forces. Today, I am focused on those who fought and died defending me and the people I love, defending you and your loved ones - those who paid with their lives so I can enjoy mine. I hope we, as a country, will continue to honor these unseen heroes for all they gave.

Hard Stuff

Yesterday was a hard day for me. I had to listen to stories of a murder, child abuse and drug use. I was overwhelmed with the hurt and pain being experienced in Wise County. I went through emotions of sadness and anger. I listened as people were referred to as "frequent-fliers" because of the number of times they had been through the penal system. I struggled with my thoughts as I heard these stories and thought many of these people needed to be removed from this life because of their sins. I struggled to find any compassion for such heinous acts.

I still struggle today. I want to have the compassion of Christ but it is so hard to do when you hear about children who are taken advantage of by relatives and supposed friends. It's so easy for me to think that death is all they deserve and so hard to wonder how God could ever find mercy for them.

I know this will continue to weigh me down while I think of the images and descriptions I sat through yesterday. The only comfort I find, the only peace I can reach for, the only hope I can imagine is in the knowledge that God is so much bigger than me...so loving, so compassionate, so merciful. I hurt for these children and families and all I can offer is my prayer that they will find God through this, they will seek Him and find the hope only He can offer. I too want to learn that lesson and seek Him instead of giving in to the one who wants to turn us away from God.

I pray that God makes the hard easier to bear, that He soften hearts and strengthen resolve to overcome the tragedies we face. Only God can do that, if we let Him.

Ultimate Authority

I've been hooked on "24" this year. It's probably not a great show to watch but plays to one of my alter egos I suppose. If you've been watching, you might have caught a line from the season finale that made my ears perk up. Powers Boothe has been playing the power-hungry Vice President who has stepped in while the President was incapacitated due to an injury from a bomb. The Vice President has made several decisions which turned out not to be the right decision and after a bit of reflection, tells his Chief of Staff (I'm paraphrasing) "you think you have all the answers when someone else is making the decisions but when you have the ultimate authority, you find out the answers are much tougher to come by."

I read editorials in the paper, I hear employees talking about their work place, members of a church criticizing decisions that are made...you know the deal. Everyone has the right answer but few have or want to be the person who has to make those decisions. Being an analyst is much easier than being a leader because the analyst doesn't have much skin in the game.

Leaders are special people. Good leaders handle praise and criticism equally well, never getting too high on themselves or too low on others. The realize that most people don't want the ultimate authority, don't want to put their head on the line and remain willing to make their best effort to make the right decision.

I'm thankful for leaders who are willing to do their best, whether I always agree with them or not.

The Power of Forgiveness

I overhead a conversation between two employees this morning where one had been hurt by something someone had said to her. Her response was to ignore the one who hurt her and give them the cold shoulder. The other suggested she talk through it with the 3rd party and that was about all I heard.

The conversation has again reminded me of the power of forgiveness. The strength received from being forgiven is awesome. The strength gained in forgiving builds giants. I've been forgiven enough in my life by people that I've hurt that I understand how it helps me, lifts me up, gives me strength and courage to improve my life. Those that have forgiven me reach new heights of respect and awe from me. They are the strongest of the strong to overcome whatever hurt I may have sent their way.

Having forgiven others, I too know the power that comes from that. Not a power to lord it over anyone but a power to overcome the greatest of obstacles I may face. The power to know that whatever hurt I feel, whatever wrong I experience, I can overcome it, I can become bigger than the pain.

Imagine our God, a God who forgives time and time again. I know the strength I gain from His forgiveness. I know that each time He forgives me, I am better equipped to overcome Satan's next attack on me.

Imagine our God, a God who forgives time and time again. My concept to know His strength from His willingness to forgive is like a grain of sand on the beach. He forgives so much from so many. I'm confident He knew it would be this way when he gave his Son. To say he is a giant among giants does injustice to the reverence and awe I have for Him.

I do know this. I am blessed to receive forgiveness when I do. Even more, I want to be like my God in granting forgiveness. I want to know the power that comes from His mercy if only to use it to fight again the power of darkness that would threaten us.

If someone has hurt you that you haven't forgiven, today could be the day that you let it all go, that you overcome hurt with strength, that you lift someone up and become a giant in their life.

Thanks be to God for showing us, each day, the power of forgiveness.

Wikipedia How To's

Wikipedia has a how to section that shows up on my Google homepage. There are some good how-to's, some that are useless and some that just make me think. Today was the Wikihow titled "How To Avoid An Uncomfortable Religious Conversation." I couldn't help myself and clicked over to see some simple ways to redirect the conversation. Nothing too controversial I suppose but it would have been much easier to just put one, "Join A Church and Wait."

Now, I realize I'm brushing a broad stroke when I say that far too often "religious" people are happy just being religious. They internalize their religion, they can pick apart those who aren't as religious, they drive to church giving funny looks to those who aren't headed to church and think that those people should be in church instead of doing whatever they are doing, they are pacified by following the same rituals each week at church and they leave only to come back and do it all again a week later.

They actually has been me at times, I just don't want to point the finger at myself. Goodness gracious, I hope that instead of avoiding uncomfortable religious conversations that I find myself very comfortable sharing the Good News, that talking about what Jesus has done for me is never uncomfortable and that I never make it uncomfortable for anyone else. I want to reflect a joy that makes other inquisitive so that I can help them find comfort in knowing the God of love and mercy that loves them and wants them in a relationship with Him. I hope I can make that a comfortable conversation.

How's Your Bass

No, not your fish. I'm talking about the bass notes that are emitted from tiny cars, a sound so deep and resonating you would think the car must be bouncing down the road. I was in a car audio shop recently and a young kid had his car in to fix his subwoofers. Once they did, they cranked it up and the windows of the store were vibrating, the metal around the windows rattling. Being 15 feet away, you could feel the vibrations coming from this small little car. Amazing. This guy paid who knows how many dollars to make his car vibrate and there are thousands of others just like him. I'm guilty too. I'll invest in a good stereo because I love to hear the music full and clear (although I have nothing to compare with the little cars with BIG speakers). I'll spend money and time so the music will resonate through my truck yet do I spend the time to make sure the Word of God resonates from me? It doesn't take money, just time, but I have to ask myself if I'm willing to spend it.

What message could we ever hear or tell that makes the glass vibrate and the metal rattle more than the saving grace of God? Even more, what message can reach the heart and soul more than the message of God's overwhelming love?

Last night I spoke about purity. I hope I got half the message across that I was thinking about, that I was feeling stirring inside me. I can't manage to be pure on my own but my God can cleanse me, He can make me spotless, blameless...perfect. That's a message that has more power, more reasonance, than anything else we could ever hear.

Purity

I received a very big challenge yesterday. It started out as a simple question, Jacob asking me to address our youth group about purity. I have been a part of our youth class on Wednesday nights, speaking to the group a few times but mostly watching and learning about our youth. Overall they are an impressive group from what I see. (As a sidenote, I would say they are good kids with good parents AND good involvement from Jacob and Heather - great examples.)

The simple question is something I have been wrestling with since be asked to teach. Purity? Me? Far too often I feel so filthy, so far from purity. I have far too many "from experience" stories on what our kids shouldn't do. It seems like it gets harder and harder for me to talk about what people should do when I find myself doing the opposite. Purity seems elusive for me much of the time because I let Satan exploit my weaknesses. My mind isn't on things of God but things of me. I find myself asking for forgiveness too often.

I feel a closeness to God's servant, David, when I read the 51st Psalm. A man after God's own heart yet feeling many of the same things I feel. I echo his plea, "create in me a pure heart, O God..."

I almost tremble at the thought of what purity means for me as a Christian. It scares me to think what the lack of purity in my life means.

I would ask for your prayers for our youth, that they will seek the Light and seek to live pure lives. I would ask for your prayers for me, that God will use me to share His message about purity to them. My prayer is that you and I will seek God, to seek purity in our lives in order to walk closer to Him, to seek the unfailing, perfect love that He gives and thank Him for the forgiveness He sheds on us.

The Wall

Our preacher recently wrote a blog about not writing a blog (www.rross.blogspot.com). He cited some reasons why he might quit writing a daily blog that was met with a number of counterpoints by his daily readers. I've come to appreciate his thoughts over the last couple of weeks and think it's time for a blogger vacation for me.

When I started, I was only writing for myself, a place for a journal that was easy to find and keep up with. Over time, several people found my blog and have read it off and on. I've been surprised by some of those who have commented to me about something they read here. Most of the comments have been positive and I appreciate them. There may be others of you who look at this blog like a bad wreck. You can't help but look at the carnage hoping for a glimpse of something positive.

It does get hard to write something each day, especially when the thought of what to write turns to thinking of what someone will want to read. When I was just writing for myself, it was easy thinking I was the only one who would read some of my crazy thoughts. Once I knew other people were coming here, I felt a responsibility to try and write something they would enjoy.

To stop the rambling, I'll be more concise and simply say I'm going to take a few days off. I have so much going on right now that the brain seems more like oatmeal than something that should be churning out understandable thoughts. I'll probably try to post something next Tuesday or Wednesday and see how the head is before deciding whether to push on or give up for awhile.

Until then, have a great weekend, enjoy your Sonic coney if you are so inclined and stay dry.

Storms of Life

The storm that blew through yesterday did a little damage and moved on. 14 phones and maybe as many computers were ruined yesterday by a lightning strike. Hours of lost time and lost money replacing equipment for something that lasted just a few minutes. Wow.

I think my life has too often been like a storm. In just a few minutes I can do a lot of damage to people I love, to friends, to people I really don't know. I am disappointed by my example to them and saddened by the hurt I cause. My temper and my tongue have too often been a storm, short-lived but leaving a trail of damage in it's path. I want to take it all back, I want a do-over but there is no such thing. I hurt for the people I've hurt. Even more, I hurt for the un-Christian example I have been. It's not who I want to be.

My prayer today is that God will help me leash my tongue and my temper, that I will be more thoughtful of others and less inclined to think of myself. I pray that those I hurt will find healing and will forgive me. I pray that my heart will be broken, that my will and the evil, hurtful things I do will be replaced by the love of God and from this day forward that is what people see and hear coming from me.

A Noisy Morning

A storm rolled through Decatur and thunder and lightning sounded like it was on top of my head. We've lost power in one of our buildings at work and a couple of computers seem to have been fried. A fun day. The phone system is out too so it will be quite for awhile. I was positive the Channel 8 weatherman said the "Mexico Cap" was on top of us and it was possible but not likely that we would get big storms. Lesson learned: listen to my wife next time.
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For those of you who wanted to light the candle, gas lamp or wood stove first you are out of luck. You have the light the match first.
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So Roger Clemens is going to be a Yankee again. Old age must be getting to him or maybe he's just wanting to go into the HOF as a Yankee but it would have been fun to see him in a Rangers uniform for one last go-round.
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Stay dry and warm today.

Can You Spell C-H-O-K-E?

One of the ugliest performances in pro basketball ended last night. The Mavs stunk it up from game 1 and it never got much better. Blow out losses and tight wins - that's no way for a team that is supposed to win the championship to play. Oh yeah, the MVP candidate spent a good part of the 4th quarter, crunch time, on the bench because he was adding nothing to the team. Dirk's no MVP yet - a very good player yes, but no MVP. MVP's don't shrivel up at the big moments.
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It's GREAT to be home even though I didn't get much sleep last night. Just being in my bed for a little while was a great treat but the best thing about being home is being with my wife and children. Nothing feels better than having them near me.
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You have a candle, gas lamp and wood stove. You have one match. Which one will you light first?

In The Dark

A strong storm blew through town Wednesday night. It's not much fun sitting in a hotel in the dark while the power is out. The lightning provided some light and the lights were back on after a short amount of time. Tomorrow I'm headed for lovely Decatur. I can't wait.
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I've been interviewing several people for sales positions while I'm here. I enjoy interviewing because you can meet some very, very interesting people. There aren't many things I hear that shock me but people do continue to surprise me over and over. I suppose I expect people to be on their best behavior but when a woman I'm interviewing throws out a few cuss words during the interview...I am surprised. I want to say "what are you thinking?" but I just start winding down the interview instead.
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Do you have any fun, wild or wierd co-employee stories?

I Slept...I Think

It's rainy and windy in Salado and the first night away, always hard, was filled with intermittent sleep. How about more "poor me?"
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Today starts a new era for some of our employees. A new manager for the store brings some excitement, some trepidation. Change does that to almost everyone and the next few days will be interesting watching how the people here handle change.

It's so easy to get into a comfort zone. I do it all the time even though I think of myself as someone who looks for and is open to change. I realize change will come and know it is best to be prepared and stay on top of it so I can have some effect on it yet I am comfortable being comfortable.

I battle the issue with my faith. I tell myself to rely on God, to turn my problems over to Him, to trust Him but it is hard to do at times. I need to change, to be more trusting, to be more open, to truly put God first. It shouldn't be a struggle but it is only because it causes me to change.

I will begin today making every effort to turn my eyes to God, to see Him and follow Him, to trust Him and seek Him.