I'm Mad Too, Eddie!

I don't remember the whole story behind the line, "I'm mad too Eddie!" but if memory serves me it had something to do with former Rangers owner, Eddie Chiles.  However, that's not part of my story today.  

There are days I want to be mad.  Mad at me, mad at you, mad at the dog, mad at the clutter in my life, mad at the cars on the road, mad at the people at work, mad at the dirt on the ground, mad at the chair.  Just overall being mad.  When I get this way, it's usually because of one little thing that's going wrong in my little world and it sets me off and the things I get mad at aren't the things that are causing the real problem inside of me.  I know people who live their lives this way and when I see it in others, I don't like it but when I do it, I don't like it even more.  Usually, that's because I've done something stupid while mad that bothers me even longer.  

Then, at some point, God intervenes and reminds me just how silly I have become.  This morning, it was a video clip of an old friend's son who is learning to walk again in a swimming pool after being paralyzed in a skiing accident.  WOW!  Does it mean I'm wrong for being upset by something that is upsetting?  No, not in the least.  However, it does remind me once again that if I just open my eyes I can see many, many people living around me who have circumstances that appear far worse than mine.  

I want God to keep my eyes open to what is really happening around me and that I will keep life and it's troubles in perspective.  There is a bigger battle raging than just the annoyances I run into at times.  

Grace and peace.

PS.  9 more sleeps until Opening Day!

Legalism

Edited post:  There are things I say at the moment I feel strongly about that upon a night's sleep, even a short one, and a re-read I think it's something I said that didn't need to be said.

Yesterday, I was moved to speak to someone with whom I disagree on some points of scripture.  I won't say it was a great conversation because the point of the talk, letting them know I and others had been hurt by what was said initially, got drowned out in more of what had been originally said.  I guess I'll say there was more talking than listening.  I don't expect everyone to agree with me so I leave the conversation thankful I brought it up, thankful that it will bring peace to put it out there and thankful that confessing my hurt that I was holding will lead to healing from that hurt and moving forward.

There are things I don't always enjoy doing but that can be beneficial.  Yesterday was one of those days.

Grace and peace to you.

Uh-Oh

I warn you to click to another site now.  

It's late Thursday night and I haven't slept well in weeks which only leads my warped mind to warp a little more and I come up with questions in my head that are perverse, bizarre, scary, darkly humorous and a few other things that make me wonder about myself as much or more than anyone else wonder's about the status of my brain synapses or whether there are brain synapses and I also write in run-on sentences when I get really tired.  

Here's the question...

I wonder if cat deaths have increased with the advent of the remote start feature on cars?  

Crazy, I know, but I hear about cats curling up on engines and sometimes not escaping even with opening and closing doors.  Now, people can start their cars without being in them so how do the cats know it's time to split?  

Yes, I need sleep.  

I'm out.

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” - John 16:33

I want peace but usually find I am troubled.

Some people say I have trouble saying "no" (Hi mom!).  I suppose I do at times.  A friend texted me today to see if I could handle something for him at church this weekend because he has to be out of town.  Of course I said yes.  

I was talking to someone the other night and asked the question I often ask myself, "so what do I cut out?"  All the things I do are important to me so cutting something out means I don't do something that is important, or at least worthy, in my own mind.  However, these choices do bring trouble.  Lack of sleep.  Periods of mental fuzziness.  Stress.  Tension.  

Eventually, my body will crash and sleep will be a necessity.  Eventually my mind will clear up.  Eventually the stress and tension and grumpiness will pass and I'll be left remembering the choices I made to do the things I thought were worthy.  I hope in that time I will find peace.  

In this world I will have trouble.  Trouble with my decisions.  Trouble with other people's decisions.  Trouble with temptation and dark forces.  Lots of trouble.  That's what the world brings but Christ has overcome the world.  I will get through the good and the bad of this life but I continue to yearn for what lies ahead, for the ultimate peace the Christ has planned for me.

Grace and peace.

Father God

Father God, just for today

Help me walk your narrow way, 

Let me stand where I might fall,

Give me the strength to hear your call.

Let my steps be worship, 

let my thoughts be praise,

may my words bring honor to your name.

Grace and peace to you.

The River

I love fishing and especially love fishing the rivers of Colorado.  Last Monday, I was entrenched in the Arkansas River (when I wasn't untangling wind knots) working hard to ensnare a beautiful rainbow trout on the end of a small fly line.  I snagged one who jumped out of the water, spit the fly out, stuck his tongue out at me and chanted "nana-nana-boo" as he headed back into the water and swam away.  

I love fishing because it's fun to catch one on a little fly rod but, even more, I get to see the beauty of what God has created all around me.  The wind may be blowing too hard, the fish may spook too fast and the day may be one without netting a fish, but it's still a day in God's creation, up close and personal, and it's a day worthy of worship.  

Grace and peace.

Survival

I made it.  I survived Ski Trip '12 with the church youth group.  Woohoo!

There are several things from the trip I may cover in future blog posts.  A few things of note:

Lots of snow is a beautiful thing but I wonder how well I could spend a winter with it.

The sun is BRIGHT reflecting off the snow at the ski area.  Wow.

Fishing in the wind is hard.

Fishing in the wind is still fishing and better than just about anything else I can imagine.

Fishing without catching a fish is no fun.

Fishing without catching fish is better than just about anything else I can imagine.

The craftsman ship of God is so very evident in Colorado.  Heaven. On. Earth.

Every time I spend time with the kids from our youth group, I walk away humbled by their hearts.

Every time I spend time with the kids from our youth group, I look forward to the next time.

Our youth minister and his wife consistently blow me away with their love for youth.

Our youth minister and his wife consistently blow me away with their servant spirit.

Our youth minister's wife does a fair share of ministering herself.  She should be on the payroll.

I love being with member's of my church.  It is the body of Christ exemplified in so many ways.

That's all for now.  It was a good trip.  A tiring trip.  An uplifting trip.  An encouraging trip.  

Grace and peace.

I'm Off

I'm off my rocker.  That's no big surprise to anyone.

I'm off meds.  Well, I'm taking some medicine but I feel like I should be taking something that would make me feel better/more energetic/smarter.

I'm off my sleep schedule.  OK, I've never had much of a schedule but sleeping 4 and 5 hours a night wears the body down.  It makes me irritable and feeling more stressed.  Just ask the file cabinet I exhibited my stress to.

I'm off kilter.  People say things and do things that leave me wondering what the heck (yes, I went back and retyped the original phrasing) is going through their minds.  It drives me wacky.  Wacky mixed with irritable and stressed ain't no good thang.  It affects grammar also.

I'm off.  I leave Saturday morning at 5:30 in the morning (less than 4-5 hours sleep that night) for a few days in Colorado with my kids and a bunch of folks from church.  I can't wait to get up in high elevation, see the snow and know that I should come home safe and sound because I'm not putting my large frame on two little skis.  I'll be reading, studying for my newest class, catching up on some TV shows and movies and relaxing for the first time in a long time.  I'm already hearing John Denver in my head.

My prayer is that I will be open to using this time to let God speak into me, to be a Sabbath rest and to get re-oriented with where he wants me to go.  

Grace and peace.

Tough Questions

Last night, I taught a lesson centered around Nicodemus and whether he simply wanted to believe Jesus was who he claimed to be or if he really wanted to follow Jesus.  It was a good reminder for me of many years lived as a fan but not a follower, one who knew God and kept an arms-length relationship with him, but not someone who really wanted to have a relationship with God and follow the example of Christ.  

We see how Nicodemus goes from approaching Jesus at night (maybe to stay hidden from his cohorts?) to being there at his death and burial.  Nicodemus went from fan to follower but it wasn't easy and it wasn't without cost.  Which begs the question...

What has following Jesus cost you?

Grace and peace.

Wrath

The file cabinet felt it.  My wrath.  Lack of sleep.  High stress.  Things not going right.  Explosion.

It happens to me now and again.  It's been awhile as I've learned to cope with life better and as I've learned to see obstacles in my life differently.  Last night, it was unjustified anger targeted to the closest thing I could find at the moment.  

I really, really wonder what God's wrath looks like.  Look at this beautiful world he created and see all the horrific things that man does and try to convince me that God doesn't get angry.  I think too many people today want to see him as the warm, fuzzy grandfather who indulges his children's silliness.  While I want him to treat me that way, I just can't believe that is always the case with God.  

Children abused.  Let's not get angry, especially you God.  Rape, murder, emotional violence, manipulation...let's not get angry.  Especially you God.  

I don't have the answers, just questions.  I'm no great theologian, just a guy who knows how I feel sometimes when I've taken all I can take and know it leads to extreme anger.  Do I think God hits inanimate objects for stress relief?  I doubt it but sure think he has better impulse control than I do.  Still, I get angry about the silliest things.  If someone hurt one of my babies...I shudder to think what I might do.  

I believe God's wrath is real.  I believe people who ignore his love and choose to walk outside his direction will be judged.  Do I think he's sending someone to hell for littering?  Not so much.  Do I think he's going to punish those who do bad, bad things to people without care for anyone or anything.  I do.  I don't know what it will look like and I don't have much desire to figure it out...that is God's business.  I just want to live in his mercy and grace, be a better disciple today than I was yesterday and the day before and the day before that and reflect Christ-likeness to someone today.

Grace and peace.