A Day Away

I'm headed to Dallas today (pain and misery) to take part in a seminar as a panelist. The actual seminar is tomorrow but we have rehearsal this afternoon. It will be webcast to CPA's around the country. A good friend is the moderator and I agreed to help many, many months ago. Today, I wish I could find a way out because the content has changed and I feel like I'm lost in the topic but they still want the "small business" perspective.

I'll be taking a keyboarding vacation tomorrow in lieu of the seminar unless I can get out of it. One of the panelists had to back out yesterday because of an emergency who was going to be my counterpart - he being from big business. Maybe they'll drop the business guys and I can stay in Decatur.
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I sat in on our auditorium class last night and heard a discussion of the Holy Spirit. We ended on the passage (Romans 8 I think) that says the Holy Spirit intercedes in our prayers with groans and the discussion ended with what groaning by the Holy Spirit means.

I'm sure there is a better answer than mine but I told the class leader that I was confident my prayers are often so confused on what I really need to say that the Holy Spirit groans thinking "what is this boy saying? I'll take over for him." I'm thankful God gives me help to live and help to talk to Him. I know He understands me even when I'm not understandable. I want to know how to pray better, to talk to God in meaningful ways. I'm thankful that even in my inability to do that, He really hears what I want to say, He knows what is on my heart, He sees through my sin to my desire to serve Him.

When I Can't Catch My Tail

I feel like I'm going in circles again, chasing my tail that I know I will never catch. It's days like these when the resounding thing I hear is "Be still and know that I am God."
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My girly-girl has another cross country meet today. They run through a pasture in Alvord. There's nothing like cross country in Wise County. The Alvord team is always good. They are 2A but run against 5A schools all the time and typically do well. I hope Decatur does good today but I'm really hoping my little girl runs her best.
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Randy Warzecha, our missionary in Brazil arrives in Decatur today. I am looking forward to seeing him because he is one of my heroes. A quiet, very humble man with a passion to share the Good News. He brings his new wife, Angela, a native of Brazil. I'm sure it will be a shock to her being in the U.S. She comes from a small village where the houses are about the size of our garage. She speaks very, very little English and will spend a little over a month in our country. It was odd spending a week in Brazil with 30 other English speakers but I can't imagine what it would be like spending 6 weeks in a country where I didn't speak the language.
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The Rangers wrap up the home schedule today. Here's hoping for a win to close out a season that has been less than glorious.
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It's Casa Torres night. I'm already hungry.

Have a great day! God bless.

A Love So Deep It Hurts

My heart is aching today. I acted badly with an angel today and it hurts. It's an ache that won't easily go away, won't easily be forgotten, won't easily be overcome. I am struggling with my child, struggling to know when to speak and when to shut up, struggling to know when to help and when to let go, struggling to know what to do and what not to do. It's frustrating and today was a breaking point. I lost my temper, a temper I have transferred to her unfortunately. I said things I wish I could un-say, acted out in ways I wish I could un-act. Yet it is done. It's forged in her memory and mine. It hurts.

I hope she sees it is simply the devil that got ahold of me. I hope she sees the hurt, the physical and mental pain that giving into evil causes me. I hope she sees the grace of God that is my only hope. I hope she will forgive me but yet I know it's a moment etched in her mind, a picture of her father I don't want her to see. It's not a picture she would see from her Father God.

I hope it will be her opportunity to get a glimpse of God, of forgiveness and grace. If she can learn that, it will simply be another victory of God over Satan on earth and it will take her farther than anything else I could teach her. I know my actions today may have shaken the foundation of our love but I hope she will know and see in future days that no matter what I do, God loves her completely. I do too, I love her with such depth but I don't always show it. Yet it is that love for her that causes me so much pain today - to know I have hurt her, to know I have shown her a glimpse of the devil at work.

I am suspending comments today because all I ask from you is a prayer. Pray that my family sees God in me and pray that His spirit of reconciliation and peace is quick.

Edit: I just finished reading a couple of blogs - one where a family lost their 13 year old son and one who has a son that has been near death with an illness but appears to be on the road to recovery. I thank God that I have the opportunity to be with my children another day and will do my very best to remember that each day I have them is a gift from above.

How 'Bout Them Cowboys

I thought the Cowboys had a chance to win the game last night but didn't expect them to take over the game the way they did. Chicago's offense stinks and there is no way the defense can play more than they are being asked to and hope for much better but I have to say the Cowboys have a potent offense. Romo is certainly over the Seattle fiasco and TO is being quiet and playing ball so far. As a psuedo-Cowboy fan, it was a fun game to watch. And going for it on 4th and 3? Wow.
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I wasn't too impressed with the race at Dover yesterday. I don't like short tracks and there were way too many wrecks and malfunctions to make it a race. It was more like a Survivor episode.
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I had a sizeable lead in my fantasy football game yesterday until the Cowboys played. I had the Bears defense. My opponent (Craig) had Marion Barber and Jason Witten. He's now 19 points behind me and has Drew Brees playing the mighty Tennessee Titans defense (ha-ha) tonight. It's going to be a nail-biter.
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Decatur lost their homecoming game last Friday but made it a good game. It seems they are improving every week but it's not going to be a picnic through district this year. Maybe some close games will be fun to watch too.

She Ran

The cross country meet went well and my little angel improved her performance over last year. My favorite part was the last 400 meters or so. As she came by, I shouted for her to pass the girl in front of her. She held up 3 fingers indicating she was going to pass 3 of the girls in front of her. I think it ended up being 5 or 6 and she definitely improved on her finish from the same meet last year. Way to go!
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The Texas Rangers season is coming to another painful end. Last night's loss insured a losing season. I remember going to the games in April and May with hope and have ended the season missing the last two games and not finding anyone who even wanted the tickets. I want to be a fan but it's hard to have to drive an hour and see one loss after another. They barely make the local news now that the Cowboys are 2-0. Sad. The manager and GM have both been given extensions but I have a feeling that if significant improvement isn't made next year, they will be gone.

I'm starting to feel the same way about remaining a ticket buyer.
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It's homecoming for Decatur tomorrow. Huge mums. Queens contest. Packed stadium. I hope the football team can raise their level of play. They have struggled this year compared with prior years and I'm hoping they are in the process of putting it all together for a great run through district. It will be a big Friday night.

Run Girl, Run

Today is the first cross country meet for my daughter. It's in Ponder and not her favorite course (just listening to her description can be a bit funny) but it's the first one so it's a good one in my book. She loaded up on cookies for all her friends so they should be on a sugar high when they take off.

It's amazing to watch her run. When she sprints the last several yards, it's the best because her long legs really get going and she covers some ground. It will be a 2+ mile run...something that would put me in the hospital. I'm excited to go watch her today.
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I got a message early this week that one of my friends from college was killed in an auto accident last weekend. It's too early for this to be happening. Mack leaves a wife and two kids and a lot of people who loved him. As the Sub-T (for those not familiar with Sub-T, it is a fraternity type organization at ACU where I attended college that was often credited with things not in keepng with the schools desires) email wire cranked up, I was struck that the one thing that kept flashing in my mind was the smile that was almost permanent on Mack's face. He brought happiness to many people.

Each year, Subberville is a reunion held in different locales - Abilene of late - and each year they play golf. Starting in 2008, the golf tournament will become the Mack Dennis Memorial Golf Tournament and proceeds will go to a scholarship fund for his kids.

May God grant them peace.

OK, I've Got To Brag A Little...

My wife had our first observed teaching day at school last week. A lady from the Region XI program she is going through came out to watch her work through a class period and grade her on how she did. IT WAS GREAT! She got positive marks across the board. I have to say it was no surprise to me that she did well but I think she was a little nervous going into the day and didn't expect the number of high marks she got. I'm so happy for her and so very proud of her.

I know she will be a wonderful teacher if that is what she chooses to do. She is already wonderful in many, many other ways.

The Beauty of Children

We hosted about 30 3rd-6th grade kids from church at our home last night to eat, play, sing and fellowship. It's fun to turn kids loose for about an hour and watch what they do. Several went and played a game with a football, others jumped on the trampoline, some went to see the llamas next door and others sat in a group and talked. Some were loud, some were quieter but they all seemed to find joy in what they chose to do. They weren't burdened with paying bills, juggling multiple projects and things that needed to be done. In fact, they seemed completely unburdened and 100% involved in the moment. It was a beautiful sight to watch and enjoy.
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I hear the Cowboys won again. I had to leave early for a meeting yesterday and they had just scored a go-ahead touchdown when I was walking out. I'm glad they are winning but I don't think they've played very good teams yet.

I watched some of New England and San Diego last night and NE was dominant. Cheating or not, they are winners.

TO and Randy Moss have been exemplary after two weeks. I wonder how long it will last?

Safety

How safe are you? How safe is your family? It's something I don't think about too often because I generally have a feeling of safety. Something happened yesterday that raised that question for one of my children and the feelings inside of me surprised me. Thoughts ran through my head of "if they hurt my child, I will..." and some of those ideas of what I would do were a little scary. I'm not surprised that I would rise up to defend my child but how quickly and how hostile I went from being a pretty laid-back guy to being ready to go on the offensive. If someone hurts one of my children, what will I do? How far will I go?

As I prayed about it last night, I also begin to think about how God feels when Satan tries to hurt us. How offended is He? How far will He go to defend us, to fight for us? I know God has a much better grip on defending and protecting me than I do on defending and protecting my children. I know God isn't thinking the same thoughts of "what will I do" if someone hurts me like I had if someone hurt my children. God sees so much more than me, understands so much more than me, cares for others so much more than me.

I pray in everything I am forced to deal with, I will look for God's will and design. Afterall, my safety isn't in anything I can do or control but only in what God has already done through Jesus. My safety isn't for here and today, it is for eternity.
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The funeral for our family friend I mentioned a few days ago is today. I won't be able to attend but the Ferguson family is on my mind. If you would, please say a little prayer for that family today and in the day's to come. Their loss is hard but their comfort will be in Molly's love for the Lord and her devotion to Him.

Nothing Today

I'm out of thoughts.
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Are the Rangers still playing? I haven't heard much about them since football season cranked up. It's the sad reality of a team playing below what they should be able to do. I have tickets to games that I can't give away. Sad.
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I heard ESPN ranked the Cowboys as the 5th best team after the first week of play. They are ranked right behind...Da' Bears...who lost their opener to San Diego. Go figure.
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I wasn't really aware of the hurricane that was supposed to hit the Texas coast this morning. I've seen graphics but haven't listened, instead only interested by seeing our temperatures go below 90.
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Another blog I read asked the question yesterday, "what song is stuck in your head?" Since the blogger is one of the very, very few who respond here (is anyone really out there?) I won't expect an answer from him but leave the question for the rest of you to ponder. I really ask only so you will start thinking about the song in your head even more than you already were.
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It's going to be a busy day so I'm off to the mill...

Unexplainable

Yesterday, we lost a close friend of our family. She was a woman as good as gold, a friend to everyone and a servant to all. She died tragically in a house fire created by an explosion of some sort. They are still trying to find out what caused the explosion but it is one of those times when I can't help but wonder why someone so good died in such a horrible way. It doesn't make sense.
Molly Ferguson was a good and virtous person. Her death makes no sense but the people who know her know she is with God today, living a new life that is certainly more beautiful, more peaceful, more glorious than anything we can imagine on earth. She was a good and faithful servant, she ran the race and today is receiving her reward.

Up Early and Running

I love to brag on my kids. They are something special to me and I am pretty sure they are angels God sent to make my earthly life more joyful.

My son is in the band this year and brought his "instrument" home last night and gave me a run down on the names of the different parts. He's excited to be learning notes and how to play and it's amazing to see his excitement for it. I'm so proud of him for trying new things with gusto.

My daughter is working out for cross country and we are getting up at 6:00AM on Tuesday and Thursday mornings plus her regular workouts the other days. This morning I pulled up next to her while she was finishing her run and she took off sprinting. It's a beautiful thing to see her long legs striding out when she kicks it in.

I am so proud of them and I hope they are proud of themselves.

Audacious

Yesterday, my 7th and 8th grade class discussed compassion. I believe the world has seen far too little compassion from Christians. I used to read a local blog and anytime something came up about a church, there were several comments running down Christians for their lack of concern for people. It seems many people hear us arguing over disagreements and don't see us taking care of those in need.

My class curriculum made 3 points. First, be ALERT to people in need - look for opportunities. Second, be ATTENTIVE to those people - do something to help them. Finally, be AUDACIOUS in what you do. I asked the class if they knew what audacious meant and one young lady responded "shamelessly bold." Wow! What would happen if we were shamelessly bold in helping others, in sharing compassion? What would the world see? Jesus. The world would see Jesus if we were shamelessly bold in our compassion for people. The world would see the body of Christ in action.

I believe doctrine is important. I believe teaching the message the Bible teaches for salvation is important. I believe that living as Jesus lived is important. I convict myself that I have spent too much time discussing things that matter without living the things that matter. I convict myself that I have stood on doctrine without reaching out with compassion. Oh, but how I want to be different in the days ahead. If we are the body, if I am the body, I need to be more Christ-like to people who are lost and hurting and need to know someone cares.

I challenged my class yesterday with some specific opportunities they brought up. I believe the younger generation today is much more open to being compassionate, to being audacious in their efforts to pick up the hurting than my generation. I challenged them because they encourage me and their actions will challenge me to be audacious, to be shamelessly bold in sharing compassion.

Go Ahead and Fall

Fall is hear. Texas plays TCU tomorrow. The NFL kicked off in earnest last night. High school footballers are getting ready to bang heads for the second week in a row tonight. The weatherman says cooler weather is coming our way. I really enjoy the fall and as much as I like football and so much of fall, the cooler weather is what really, really makes me a happier person this time of year. _______________________________________________________________

We are hosting the high school youth group Sunday night at our house. I've been privileged getting to know more of our church youth, first through our mission trip to Brazil and then through teaching, and I really enjoy being around them. As with any group, their personalities run the gamut from the loud and boisterous to the quiet and shy. What strikes me about so many of them is their heart. I have seen acts of kindness that surprise me but more than that, they encourage me. I look forward to spending more time with them on Sunday.
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Have a great weekend! Hook 'em Horns!

Leadership

We started a new class last night on leadership, specifically spiritual leadership. Leadership is easy to talk about but, in my own life at least, much harder to model. I enjoy studying it and learning how to be a better leader because I have been put in positions of leadership. Being the leader isnt' something I aspire to, in fact my personality easily allows others to take on a leadership role, but when I am needed to lead, I want to be prepared to do the best I can.

One of my favorite books is titled "The Servant" and is a study of leadership modeled by Jesus. It's a look at what the author terms servant-leadership and it exemplifies the type of leader I want to follow and I want to be.

I pray our churches will raise up strong servant-leaders, people who lead not because they want the power but because they want to serve. I believe we are blessed as a church in Decatur with leaders who do want to serve. As I listened to one of our Elders last night talk about his fear of doing a poor job, it was apparent his biggest concern was whether he was serving others. That is the type of leadership mentality that inspires me because his concern isn't about his position or status but his concern is about his service.

I look forward to the remainder of this class and hope I can learn and then model better leadership, leadership based on the good and perfect example God sent to earth, leadership based on a Savior who came to rescue me from the power of evil, leadership based on the Christ who loves me.

Too Old For Late Nights

I was part of a late night fantasy football draft last night. We have a group from church that plays each year and we got a late start. It ended up being a bit after midnight before we were done. Ouch. We thought we would be done an hour earlier but technology isn't all it's cracked up to be sometimes.

I remember the days where staying up to midnight or a couple of hours later was no big deal. I could get up the next morning and function at a normal level. Nowadays, it's brutal. So, if you see me moving slowly today, I just might be sleep-walking.
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God is so good. I'm trying to learn to trust in Him. I've said it before that I have a strong desire to figure out a way to take care of my own problems instead of sitting back and trying to see what God has in store. I've been working to be better at looking for God and little by little I think I'm getting better at it. It has not been easy for me to let go and seek God in my little storms. I struggle with it daily, minute-by-minute it seems at times. Yet, the more I think about it, I think - I hope - I see improvement. I am confident God is guiding me through some things I'm battling now and my prayer is that I continue to learn to step back and let Him lead me.

Junk

I hope my sick friend got a foot long coney from Sonic on Sunday. I'm sure it's all he needed to get well.

We're trying to have our fantasy football draft tonight. So far, nothing is working the way we want it to. It's going to be messy I'm afriad.

The Rangers were getting smoked by the Royals last night when I finally turned the TV off. It's ugly to get beat bad but even uglier to be losing like that to the Royals. I can't give away tickets to the Rangers right now. Sad.

My son went to the lake yesterday with some friends and had a blast riding the tube. He had the biggest jump of anyone and it was funny listening to the description of his eyes as he went airborne. He slept hard last night which makes me wonder if we should get a boat.

We ate with some friends last night and the kids went out to play football. It's amazing watching them tackle each other and trying to remember how I used to do that. All I could think about last night was how bad that would hurt.

I think I've mentioned that I've taken up walking again thanks to my wife. She's been a great example and encouragement to me. I tore my calf muscle playing basketball a few months ago and the muscle still gets tight when I walk but I can tell there is improvement. Now, my ankles and knees are aching a little bit. I'm realizing I'm not 25 anymore. It's hard to accept but the shooting pain at 3 in the morning make it real clear. Still, I'm thankful I can do what I am doing.

I hope you are having a great day.

The Joys of Retail

I like my job and the people I work with but days like today are a beat down for retailers. While everyone else is off for the holiday, we are still open like any other typical day. We are lucky in that we have 4 observed holidays - New Years Day, July 4th, Thanksgiving Day and Christmas Day. Several retailers are starting to stay open most of those days as well. After doing this for 13 years, I'm thinking some holidays should be required to be observed. That way, I could sleep a little later every once in awhile. Then again, it only seems right to labor on Labor Day.

I hope you are enjoying your day off if you have one.