The Last Day

It's hard to believe 2008 is just hours away from being gone and 2009 is closing in on me. Time continues to fly and I can do nothing to slow it down. Wow. So many things have happened during 2008 that have shaped me and formed me and pulled me closer to God. I am thankful for all the good and all the bad that have drawn me closer to my Lord. I feel like events in my life this past year have opened my eyes to God in ways I never imagined or understood and for that, I praise Him.

I hope anyone reading this will have a great 2009 and that the new year will bring you closer to God too. My wishes for peace, prosperity and all good things are directed completely towards relationships with God because that is where we will find true peace, true prosperity, true love, true healing.
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I celebrated the start of my 44th year last night with my family by eating at Joe T. Garcia's (my fave) and a night at Bass Hall. It was a good night to be with the people I love sharing good food and a fun time.
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My blog is digressing but I'm just hearing that Mike Shanahan was fired by the Denver Broncos. Let me get this straight, Wade Phillips who hasn't done much gets to keep his job and Shanahan who won Super Bowls loses his. What a topsy-turvy job market.
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My last blogged words of this year...

May you find all you need in our Creator and Savior's love in 2009 and forevermore.

The Fallacy of Self-Esteem

Have you seen the billboard ads for IAMSECOND.COM? I was attracted to it because Josh Hamilton is advertised so I went to check it out. It's a site that wants to get the message across that God must be first in all that we do, in who we are. I listened to stories from Hamilton, from Brian "Head" Welch and a few others and it's powerful to hear people talk about their journey from the edge of hell back to God.

It got me to thinking about the emphasis our society puts on self-esteem. Self-esteem puts a focus right where it advertises, on self, and I think that causes a problem for a lot of people. As a parent, my greatest fear of failure is not leading my children to understand that God must be first, that He made them perfectly in His image and that no matter what happens in life, they will always be loved unconditionally by their Creator.

Of course, the key is that they have to accept that. I have known God loves me all my life but haven't really understood it or accepted it. I have been worried about how I was perceived by others and that worry affected how I felt about myself-not putting God first. Thankfully, I have come to that place where I have begun to grasp God's love for me, His unconditional, constant love and in that, I am more and more focused on what He is seeing in me, not what others see.

As I begin another year of life, I am more thankful than ever for God's love for me. I am thankful He made me the way He wanted me, that He is always the same, always waiting for me, arms open. No matter how others see me, no matter my blunders and failings, no matter what I want to think of myself, there is One who will always lift me up and as long as my focus is on Him first, I know I will have little trouble worrying what others think because my Creator also gave me the Savior.

The Day After

I can't believe Christmas has come and gone. I think working in retail has blinded me to the Christmas spirit buildup and then it's over in a day (or so). I think we should all have at least 2 weeks off to celebrate Christmas. :)
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Josh's baseball coach sent this link to the players and asked them to read it. It's a great story.
http://sports.espn.go.com/espnmag/story?section=magazine&id=3789373

If you didn't feel good already, this story should help. It's more than just good sportsmanship, it's people acting like Christians. Awesome. Kudos to Rick Reilly for putting it on a stage as big as ESPN.
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Did anyone catch the news that Mark Texiera (a former Ranger) signed with the Yankees for $180 million over 8 years. Here's to hoping the Yankees don't win a World Series for several more years. I like Texiera but it's obviously about money and I just don't like that.

Then again, if my kids ever get a shot at that kind of money, I might be inclined to suggest they take it.
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The Whataburger Basketball Tournament cranks up next Monday. It's always a fun day for me.

I hope I can get tickets to the Final Four when it comes to Jerry's Palace. I think that would be THE ultimate sporting event for me.
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I'm a big Josh Hamilton fan. He was awarded the Fort Worth Star Telegram Sportsman of the Year award. When contacted about winning the award and how great it was to be given the honor on Christmas Day, Hamilton acknowledged he was happy to win the award but Christmas was all about celebrating the birth of Jesus, the Savior and any personal awards didn't come close to celebrating the Christ. Hamilton is constantly using the baseball stage to thank God for pulling him out of the hell he was in.

Merry Christmas to All

I hope you and those you love have a wonderful Christmas and 2009 will be filled with the blessings of God for you.

Sunday, we were reading about Mary being told she would be the mother of the Messiah. Can you imagine? I can't. If I were a young (teenager) girl and was told I would give birth, as a virgin, to the Savior I can't begin to imagine the thoughts I would have. I can guess some of those thoughts would be to run, to hide. People would stare, say things, think things. The list can go on and on but what is important is what Mary did - praised God.

God gives us gifts and too often I have been more worried about what someone would think if I was using my gift than in praising God for the gift and carrying out His will. Mary had some worries but she chose to praise God, to do His will.

I give thanks for Mary and her choice, her example to us all. Even more, I give thanks to God for sending His son, the Savior and Redeemer, for me. The sin he bore on the cross was mine and there are times the thought of it will bring me to tears but exceedingly more wonderful is that the life He was resurrected to is mine also. Eternity with God awaits for me and for you because the Christ was born and lived out God's purpose for me and for you. It leaves me without words to express my joy and peace.

I Think I Understand

I have tried to let this go and not blog about it but it's bugging me. I was listening to Michael Irvin's radio show on ESPN radio earlier this week and understand why some people think so little of Christianity.

Irvin was interviewing a lady affiliated with the Humane Society in Georgia. The lady had filed protests at some stores that sold Michael Vick jerseys and the jerseys were pulled off the shelf. (Michael Vick, a pro football player, is in prison for running a dog-fighting operation.) I could understand a Humane Society supporter protesting Vick stuff but then the conversation went south. Irvin asked her why she continued to protest now that Vick had served his sentence and she begin to explain how he could never be forgiven and did not deserve the opportunity to continue his career in the NFL. She explained that in her mind, dog-fighting is on par with child molestation and Vick deserved nothing more than to be a janitor at a dog pound but never deserved complete forgiveness. Irvin then asked her if she was a Christian. She said yes and mentioned the denomination she attended and reiterated the heinousness of Vick's crime in her eyes and that he did not deserve forgiveness or any other opportunities or a public career.

It got worse when Irvin's co-host asked if Vick and a dog were in a burning building and she could only go in and get one, who would it be? She laughed and said that was an easy answer. The co-host asked if it would be the dog and she just laughed and said yes. The co-host could only respond "it gives the definition of "humane" a whole new meaning."

Is it any wonder the world has a low view of Christians? Speaking the truth is necessary and many people will reject the truth but one of the core truth's of Christianity is compassion and forgiveness. Jesus on the cross is forgiveness. Jesus resurrected is redemption. It's available to everyone who will take it...and share it. To claim the forgiveness provided us by Jesus but say Michael Vick never deserves it...it just doesn't make sense to me and I'm guessing it gives those who denounce Christianity an easy target for their skepticism, scorn and wrath.

I disagree with the woman's idea of forgiveness. I don't know that I'm right and she's not but I will err on the side of too much forgiveness (is there such a thing based on God's forgiveness of us?) than too little.
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I enjoy listening to Irvin on the radio. As a man with a checkered past, he has built his relationship with God and is one who will extend compassion and forgiveness. At times, you might tune in and think you hit a gospel channel because he can preach - and would make a pretty good one.

Asking Why

A fatal car accident. A wife losing her husband. Five children losing their father. Why God? Why?

Monday was one of those days where it seems impossible to not ask God why something so sad, so tragic, can happen. Why God?

As much as I want to say I put my full faith and hope in God, there are some things that happen and I can't help but ask why. I wish I had better answers. Someone asked me for a scripture they could use to help console people hurt by this tragedy. I suggested Romans 8:37-39 because it has certainly lifted me up at times but when someone loses their husband, their dad, I wonder if it helps.

I know God allows good and bad to happen to the good and bad. I have been reading Job and see how God allowed a blameless man to face obstacles. I know that in the darkest of times, we can be drawn closer to God than at any other time. I know that there are mysteries of God we may never know, never understand. I know all of that and I still can't help but ask why at times and then, in those times, I also find myself praying that those who have lost, those who are hurting will seek God and that He will give them what they need. It's in those times that I am full of belief that only God can heal, only God can bring peace.

I will probably continue to find times where I ask God why something is happening that I just don't understand, where I can't see what good can come from it. I'm sure I will but I hope that I will also use those times to go deeper with God, to seek His purpose in my life. I've learned that there are times I need to feel pain to seek healing, I need to be aware of hurt so I'm more fully aware of His mercy and grace, that I need to be engaged in a spiritual battle so I will use the armor God has given me.

I am praying that the family that lost their husband and father will seek God for the comfort only He can provide. I am praying that they will remain strong in their faith and that He will provide all they need, today and forever.

The Weekend

Colt McCoy should win the Heisman on Saturday. I'm betting he won't.

Politics in Illinois are certainly an interesting case study. It's a good thing Obama is squeaky clean. :)

I like it when Thanksgiving is earlier in November and we have another weekend between Thanksgiving and Christmas.
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Can you imagine what homeless people are going through right now. It's cold outside.

When I was in Denver a few weeks ago, I was struck by the homeless huddled together near the capitol in the mornings and walking the 16th Street Mall in the evening. I can't figure out why a homeless person would stay in Colorado during the winter but, I can't really comprehend their lives at all.

Having read Same Kind of Different As Me recently, I see the homeless much different than I have before. Honestly, I've been a little scared of "them". In Denver, I saw a man walking in circles and talking to himself and I wondered what has happened to him - but wouldn't take one step towards him to find out.

I'm struggling with my thoughts and feelings towards the homeless. I am much more compassionate to them today than I used to be but I haven't taken a step forward to figure out how I could help them - yet.

I ask you to help me by joining me in prayer for the homeless, for those who may feel cast out of society, for those who feel invisible to the rest of us. I'll be praying that God provides for them what they need and that He provides for me what I need to help them in some way.

No matter our status, our appearance, our bank accounts; we are all God's children, made in His image, loved by Him.

Job (the book in the Bible)

I've been reading Job again. In some ways, it's like the first time I've read it because I'm getting new thoughts and understanding. It's slow because I keep re-reading passages over and over until I think I really understand the lessons. One of the things I love about the Bible is that I continue to learn new lessons the more I read. Stories I've heard many times can still bring new understandings and insights to how I understand God and understand my relationship with Him. I think I'll have more to say about Job when I get through it. I still can't understand God's decision to allow Job to suffer. Saying that, I appreciate the lessons and the example but I feel sorry for Job. On the other hand, when I hear the question "why does God let bad things happen to good people?" I look at Job and the answer I hear is "so God can use the strong to teach the weak." I don't know if that's right or not but I gain strength through Job's story. I gained strength watching Jerry and Anna Nicholas. I have gained strength through other friends who have endured pains and battles I will never grasp. The strength I have gained is the strength that allows me to cling to God more tightly, to hold on to the hope He gives me. I still slip and fall but seeing the strong endure the traps satan throws in front of them builds me up, not in myself, but in my ever-increasing reliance on and in God.

I would be thrilled if no other bad things happened to good people but I feel pretty sure that God will continue to use the strong to teach the weak. I hope I continue to learn and continue to seek my strength from God and his perfect love.

Say It Ain't So CC

CC Sabathia is signing with the Yankees for $140 million or something. I hate to see it. CC proved what a good guy he was when he was traded to the Brewers and brought life to a team on the verge of flaming out and getting them to the playoffs. He pitched on 3 days rest, unheard of for most overpaid pitchers. Rumor was he wanted to play on the Left Coast and he would have looked great in a Dodger uniform playing for Joe Torre but instead, he takes the big dollars (I can't blame him), and goes to play for the Steinbrenner's and their overblown egos and wallets.

K-Rod is going to the Mets. That's good news for the Rangers.

The Rangers aren't doing much. They traded Gerald Laird for two prospects when all the talk was how they could trade one of their other catchers for a name pitcher. Maybe the rumors weren't valid but I was underwhelmed by the trade they did make. One of the prospects is a 17 year old out of the Dominican Republic. I'm betting he never throws a pitch in Arlington.

I'm not sure why I'm somewhat disgusted by other pro sports and the money they pay but less so with baseball. It must be my baseball crazy kid who infects me with interest in the sport. Barry Zito makes $20 million a year and was horrible this year.

Did you see Texas beat Villanova last night? It was a great game for a great cause. It was part of the Jimmy V Foundation week and they showed replays of Jim Valvano's speech at the '93 ESPYs as he was dying from cancer. I love that speech and enjoy seeing it every year.
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God is so good.

Monday Again

Another year is flying to a close and I'm still thinking it should be February.

The Cowboys lost...again. I'm surprised how many people at church were recording it to watch the ending. After watching a bit of news last night, I have to agree with people who say Wade Phillips isn't the answer. I think there are many other problems but the guy is a horrible interview, says nothing and looks completely lost.

I'm surprised Jerry isn't paying me millions for that expert analysis.

Texas is playing Ohio State in the Fiesta Bowl. I hope the Texas players are more excited about playing Ohio State than I am. I'd prefer Alabama or USC.

I'm surprised the NCAA isn't paying me millions to set up the bowl games.

Houston and Air Force play in the Armed Forces Bowl in Ft. Worth. I'm thinking that could be a high scoring affair if the weather cooperates.

I saw Texas play UCLA in basketball the other night. Texas was ranked #8 and UCLA was #9. Texas won. I'm impressed. If Texas lets Rick Barnes (the coach) ever get away, it will be a bad day.

Bridgeport lost in their football playoff game last weekend. They are the rivals but I hoped they could make it all the way.

I hope you find the peace that is beyond compare, the peace that comes from God.

Ballin'

Our church basketball league has started up and we played our first game Tuesday night. We lost. It's crazy to walk out to the court, the average age of our team being in the mid-to-high 30's and face of a team of high school kids with one 30 year old thrown in. I know this, kids can run longer and further than we can. We play again next week and will go out, do our best and hope to avoid a trip to the hospital again.
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Plaxico Burress shot himself in the leg and got suspended from playing football. The NFL and his team have taken some heat for suspending him and I just laugh. Does a team really need a guy playing for it that, on the day he finds out he won't play the next week because of a minor injury, goes out to a club with a loaded gun and shoots himself?

This guy makes millions of dollars each year. Teachers make $30.000. If that dollar differential doesn't sum up what's wrong with our society, I don't know what does.
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The auto guys are driving to Washington D.C. for this go-round of begging. The Ford guy said he would work for a $1. I guess that's a start. I want to ask what he wants to give back for the years he's spent getting them in this position but I suppose we need to start with today and move forward. I'm still fundamentally opposed to the bailout/loan but would hate to see so many workers suffer because of the guys at the top. Then again, the unions for the workers are part of creating the problems too so I think those guys need to pay a price along with the top guys at the car companies. Maybe they should all work for a $1 until the loans are paid back.
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Having peace with God is the most incredible feeling I have ever known.

Hate Is A Strong Word

I try to reserve the use of the word hate. In my mind, it conjures up a very strong emotion, a very negative emotion. Hate is an active word, a state of mind or cause of action that can continue and last for any length of time.

I hate Satan. I know he is near me, I know he is attempting to manipulate me and others I come in contact with to follow his desires. I hate him and my hatred is active because I know he is alive and real and working to pull me down. I allow myself to hate him because I want to be active in trying to repel him, to stay away from him, to avoid or deal with his manipulations. I know he is as real as anyone or anything around me. Even though I can't see him, I see his work and, at times, it leads me to tears and sickness.

I love God. I know He is near me, I know He is attempting to protect me, to guide me, to love me, to comfort me and He is trying to do it for others I come in contact with. I love Him and my love is active and alive because I know He is real and gives all He has for me. I love Him because I want to be active in living glory to Him. I love Him because He gave me the ultimate sacrifice. I love Him because, even when I fall to the manipulations of Satan, even when I turn from the God who gave His son for me, He welcomes me back, He loves me, and still allows me to be bathed in His mercy and grace. He corrects me, He allows me to feel pain and suffer from my wrongs but I know He does it in love because He knows I am learning, more and more, to be strong against evil, to resist the temptations to act on my own and I am learning to rely on Him, to simply seek His will and live it in my life.

Hate is a strong word but love is even stronger, more powerful. If we lived in a world of love, the power of what we would create is infinity stronger than a world filled with hate. Hatred leads to nothingness. Love leads to action upon action upon action. Hatred stops people from doing things; love drives people to do more and more.

I love the Lord and am thankful beyond words that He loves me.

Struggling to Write

I'm struggling with thoughts that I can't get into words so today will be more babbling about some random observations.

Obama promised change. Biden, Clinton and several other Clintonistas and politicians that have been hanging around for a few years are serving on his cabinet and advisory positions. Not a lot of change there.

I thought they would have changed the Big 12 tiebreakers by now. A team that beat the 2 teams playing in the Big 12 championship game is sitting at home. Here's hoping Missouri pulls out the upset of the year and Florida wins the SEC just to make it more interesting.

I read an article in the Wall Street Journal yesterday promoting the idea of taking education away from local districts and putting it at the national level. The idea is that the national government can reduce the layers of management for local districts and reduce resources. The article was written by Louis Gerstner who turned around IBM. I'm not sure it's a very good idea but wonder if it doesn't have some merit.

I saw a spot on TV about one school paying kids cash for good grades. One one hand, I'm all for rewarding high achievers. On the other hand, and I fear far worse, it just amplifies our societies problem with wanting immediate results instead of reinforcing that our vision needs to be a little longer, our hope for reward not always right in front of us.

I'm sure I've heard a sermon with that theme before. It's my biggest struggle right now.

Thanksgiving Roundup

I ate good. 1st stop included great turkey and dressing. Different members of my family made green bean bundles (awesome), pecan pie (YUMMY) and pound cake (delectable). I had two servings of sweet potatoes too. I typically don't eat pecan pie or sweet potatoes but both were really good this year. The pecan pie vanished way too soon. 2nd stop included chicken, black-eyed peas and hot water corn bread finished off with lemon icebox pie. Good 'ol soul food. There was a lot of other good stuff too but I stuck to the basics.
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The BCS poll is a wonderful thing. I think we should use a similar system to select the President and hire the CEO's of the Fortune 1000 companies. (I'm not being serious.)

If this year doesn't light a fire for someone to put a playoff system in, I really want to know who is getting paid off. Why is it OK for D2 and D3 schools but not D1? Yes, I'm a Texas fan and think they got ripped off but if Texas would have held on to the spot, Zero U would have gotten ripped off and Tech loses all the way around. Let them play it out on the field. Madness.
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I heard a scripture read yesterday that has stuck with me. Jeremiah 10:23-24, "I know, O Lord, that a man's life is not his own; it is not for man to direct his steps. Correct me, Lord, but only with justice - not in your anger, lest you reduce me to nothing."

My joy in the Lord today is that He could reduce me to nothing, to mere vapors, but He loves me and His desire for me is joy in Him and eternal life with Him.