More 50

The 50th anniversary party for my parents was great. I got to see some old friends I hadn't seen in 20 years and catch up with some of my high school friends. Of course, it wasn't about me but I enjoyed it. It was good to see so many people come, some from far distances, for my parents. It was special to see so many, young and old, come to honor them for 50 years of marriage and for being a part of the lives of so many people.
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The Rangers are still tearing it up. There's still room for some of you nay-sayers to jump on the bandwagon.
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More Oswald Chambers that struck me last week..."We seem to think that God wants us to give up things! God purified Abraham from this error and the same process is at work in our lives. God never tells us to give up things just for the sake of giving them up, but He tells us to give them up for the sake of the only thing worth having, namely, life with Him."

I have struggled with all the stuff I have and all the stuff I do and have, at times, agonized over what it meant for me as a Christian. Over time, I have come to realize that what I have isn't the issue. Instead, the issue is what I willing to give. Am I giving my money? Am I giving my time? Am I giving my heart? As I draw closer to my God, it's easier to understand that He isn't a God desiring to take away but a God desiring to give. If I am going to walk with God, I must be prepared to give and the life and things that I have will take care of themselves.

I am looking forward to finding what God calls me to give and I am looking forward to building my relationship with Him as I learn to be a servant.

50

This weekend, my parents will celebrate 50 years of marriage. It is a great testament to love and devotion and I honor them at this special time. I can only imagine that over 50 years there have been ups-and-downs that they have weathered and enjoyed. I have heard stories of tough times when money was tight. I'm also aware of 18 years of pure bliss - the years I was living at home being a perfect angel.

I am thankful for my parents and thank God for them and all they have taught me and for the love they have given me. On this special weekend, I pray that they feel the love God has for both of them and thank Him for their love for me and so many others that they have touched.

Mom and Dad, thank you for all that you are and all that you do.

The Motions

No need to mention the Rangers today.

I'm still stuck on the song I mentioned a few blogs ago, "The Motions" that Matthew West sings. It keeps me thinking about where I've been and where I hope to go and how different those two episodes of life might look.

I watched a video that struck me the other day too. A speaker was telling the audience that he thought we could see a better idea of what God intended the church to be at an AA meeting than in an institutional church setting. I don't believe I disagree with him. You go to AA because a) a judge has ordered you to or b) you've got some problems you need to find a way to deal with. For those who go because of "b", there are some really honest stories told, some tough thoughts/feelings/actions are opened up and healing can happen. That's what church, the body of Christ, should be because that is what Christ is; the one I should be really honest with, the one I should bear all my ugliness, my hurts, my scars, my sins to and the one who will begin the healing.

I have grown up in churches where I have heard more complaining or gossip about what someone is doing than being aware of people going to help the hurting. I have heard people spend time asking what the one who went forward did or say "what a shame" or "they brought it on themselves" and other things of that nature but did not stop to offer prayers or help or a shoulder to cry on. I wish I could say it was someone else but I am just as guilty.

I don't want the church to be more like AA; I want it to be incomparable to any organization we can imagine. I don't want the church to be a place where brothers and sisters feel safe but a place where brothers and sisters and people dealing with every kind of sin Jesus so their healing can begin. I don't want to be a part of a church that is going through the motions but a church that is the active body of Christ - one that certainly teaches truth, but even more, lives it, exudes it, a church that shows the irresistible nature of the Christ.

The challenge is that it doesn't fall to the Elders or the ministers - it starts with me. What will I do today? How will I show Christ to people today? How will I let people know there is healing for their pain and suffering, that there is grace and peace and salvation in our Lord?

Does God Read Blogs?

At 44 years of age, I realize I just can't stay out as late as I used to. I had the joy of experiencing the Rangers 2 1/2 rain delay last night. We hung on until the 6th inning but had to call it a night which put me to bed way late. I'll be paying for it today but it was great seeing a Rangers win against the Yankees.
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I hope my title isn't taking badly but it's a question I have asked myself several times. Each day, a random verse pops up on my blog and every now and then, when I'm really hitting a low spot of some sort, the verse speaks volumes to me. I have jokingly said God must be reading my blog and giving me the exact scripture I need that day. I like to think there might be a little truth to that but the real story is that the Bible is full of hope and compassion and love and reading a little bit of scripture every day reinforces the real importance of being in God's word all the time. I have read more this year than I have in a long time, maybe ever, and I feel the benefits of the time I spend in how I feel on the inside. It doesn't take away my problems but it gives me so much peace in living through them and helps me remember to trust God - trust that He will carry my load.

God may not read blogs but I am reminded over and over how important it is for me to read God's words. My words might bring a laugh or a tear but His words bring life.

Hard Things

The Rangers loss yesterday...that was a hard thing in a relatively insignificant way. It was hard to watch for a fan but not such a big deal in considering all that is happening in the world.

I was forwarded a video by a missionary friend of mine that is a hard thing to watch. The closer I get to God, the harder this type of video is to watch. Not hard in a sad or disgusting way but hard in that it turns my stomach that people live in the condition they do. At the same time, their thankfulness for scraps speaks volumes about the lives that most of us live. If you've got about 6 minutes, watch this: http://www.cultureunplugged.com/play/1081/Chicken-a-la-Carte

Going Through The Motions

Having a rough day? Read this http://www.space.com/missionlaunches/090520-space-urine.html then enjoy a nice, refreshing glass of water and relax.
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A song I keep playing over and over lately is "The Motions" by Matthew West. If you haven't heard it, go to YouTube and search for Matthew West The Motions and you'll find a couple of videos to watch. Basically, the song is about a person not wanting to just go through the motions but to find the true passion that God can give us. For me, it's a song with words that are powerful.

For so long, I have heard the alarm, got in the shower, took the kids to school, went to work, ate lunch, went back to work, go home, eat, go to baseball practice/church/volunteer activity, go home, watch TV, go to sleep, heard the alarm, got in the shower...you get the idea. Coming to really experience God has given me a better vision of what God sees and what I can be doing to help someone, to live with more joy in my future and more joy in knowing God.

At 44, my life is likely half over and I do not want to spend the last half just going through the motions. I want to live in the freedom and joy and jubilation that comes through a relationship with God and I want to spend my days looking for the ways He wants me to serve and help and love. With God, the simplest of things seem bigger and the biggest challenges seem easier. Going through the motions makes the simplest of things seem a burden and the biggest challenges appear impossible. I want to go with God, to revel in His love, to share His mercy and grace and compassion and hope.

I hope your day is filled with the peace that can only come from God.

A Beautiful Lunch

How fast can the Rangers get out of Detroit? It's not fast enough.
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Yesterday's lunch was refreshing. Beautiful. Peaceful. It started with 3 tacos to go from Primo's. I love the pork tacos with cilantro, onions and lime juice. They are tasty with great flavors but I digress. While I did enjoy the food, I snuck off to a secluded spot, sat at a picnic table under a giant shade tree and ate while seeing the beauty of God's creation and listened to the birds sing. After the feast, I opened up My Utmost for His Highest written by Oswald Chambers. A sister-in-law gave it to me about 3 years ago but my heart is only now prepared for some of the thoughts Chambers expresses in his writing. Below is a portion of what I read yesterday that resonated with me.

Once we get intimate with Jesus we are never lonely and we never lack for understanding or compassion. We can continually pour out our hearts to Him without being perceived as overly emotional or pitiful. The Christian who is truly intimate with Jesus will never draw attention to himself but will only show the evidence of a life where Jesus in completely in control. This is the outcome of allowing Jesus to satisfy every area o life to its depth. The picture resulting from such a life is that of the strong, calm balance that our Lord gives to those who are intimate with Him.

Lord, take me there. Keep drawing me closer to you and help me to live in your goodness.

A Crazy World

Newt Gringrich is calling for Nancy Pelosi to resign. Politics are crazy and while I am no fan of Pelosi and think we would be better off without her as Speaker of the House, I'm no longer in touch with all the happenings to make that call other than personal preference. It sure seems like she has thrown herself into hot water with her comments about the CIA and I applaud Leon Panetta, a Democrat lifer, for speaking up for the CIA. It's just another circus we will sit back and watch.
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The Rangers lost and, worse, can't seem to win in Detroit. I think they are 0-9 at Comerica Park. Hamilton's hurt again but hopefully will be back tonight and maybe the Rangers will break the jinx and get back to winning. I like it when they win 7 in a row more than when they lose 1.
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I've seen a few interviews with Toby Slough, the pastor of Cross Timbers Community Church in Argyle, on local and national news lately because of the amount of money they have given away in the past few months to people in need. I think it's great to hear these stories, especially one so close to us, instead of all the gloom and doom we seem to hear and I think it's great for a church family to get recognized for their good works even thought that's not the reason they do it. Praise God for what He is doing through people who love Him.

I've Really Got To Stop

OK, there was Chris Davis' walk off homer and then Josh Hamilton makes another (painfully) incredible catch climbing halfway up the wall in right-center field. That's after he made a great throw from center field to throw out a runner at home the night before. Great pitching and some really, really good defense and hits at the right time. 121 more wins and they clinch the West. OK, OK, I shouldn't get ahead of myself. The Yankees are coming up soon and some games against East division teams will show us more but it's been REAL fun so far being a Rangers fan.
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I got to hear another great sermon yesterday focused around the story of the good Samaritan. It's a story I've heard hundreds of times but as my walk takes me closer to God, the story takes on new significance and new understanding. As I have learned to look at people with God's eyes (a weak imitation but getting better), I have come to experience people in such a different light. Things that used to make me mad, irritated, turned off, resentful, judgmental...now I spend time wondering how to help them see the light of God, see the joy that I am seeing in being His child and living in His love.

God, give me your eyes so I can see like you and give me your heart so I can love like you.

Back-to-Back

I should leave the Rangers alone for awhile but yesterday's walk-off 2 run homer was sweet. Chris Davis, Longview native, hit a big blast when they needed it. Don't let the fact that he is on pace to set the strikeout record interfere with what he did yesterday. Lights out. Now, the 2nd place Angels come to town.
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I feel sorry for the Chrysler dealerships that got "the letter" yesterday. Chrysler is rolling up dealerships, putting some out of business so that others may thrive. I guess dealers know that Chrysler has that power but I always hate to hear when the bad news is delivered through a letter filled with corporate-ese.

GM is doing it today.
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One of the incredible experiences of being on a journey with God is exploring where he wants you to go. I have experienced some radical changes in my thought processes of what it means to be a Christ-follower. I see baptism in a whole new light - much deeper, richer and more meaningful experience than I ever imagined it to be. I see church attendance in a whole new light - not as a regulation but as a place of peace in the presence of God. These are just a couple of examples of things I have grown up with thinking I understood but figuring out I never really went very far with them. I have heard the battles over grace versus works and used to try to have some intellectual answer to the question. How silly I was. I am coming to see that these and many other subjects similar are not matters of interpretation or research as much as they are matters of the heart and my hearts desire for God.

I may never enter in to another conversation about baptism being essential because if a true heart for God doesn't lead someone into the waters, my reasoning will not be adequate for what they can experience. I may never enter in to another conversation about what "forsaking the assembly" means because a true heart for God will draw you into worship. Going to church because you are supposed to go to church can actually be damaging in the search for God. And grace versus works? Wow. How can 2 things that create incredible synergy ever be opposed to each other. When someone truly experiences grace, the desire to work will burn within them. I venture to say the person who does not have a desire to serve God in any way possible may not yet have experienced the incredible power of His grace.

I say all of this from my own experience, not some idea that I have it all figured out because I am still on a journey to truly know my Lord. It is incredible. It is filled with new insights every day. It is filled with tears and joy and shivers that run down my spine and peace...a perfect peace that He is in control, that He will lead me where He wants me to be, that He will protect me, encourage me and love me no matter what. It's a journey I am treasuring every minute of - good and bad - because it is pulling my heart closer to my Creator, my Savior, my Lord.

Repeat

Maybe I'm being repetitive but I'm enjoying the Rangers right now. If you didn't stay up to watch the end of last night's game, you missed a great finish. Offense won the game in the 11th inning but decent pitching and defense kept them in the game. A win today is important because it will lead to the 2nd place Angels coming to town for a weekend series. Go Rangers!
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I got to hear a presentation from a friend last Sunday on a recent trip to Ecuador. I think we forget, or maybe don't understand, the conditions that so many people live in around the world. He told us about two children found living on the streets. The brother was out rounding up rotten fruit or whatever he could find to feed his sister and all they had was the rags they wore as clothes. The were brought to an orphanage and for 60 days, they had to take treatments to kill the worms in their stomachs. I can't remember their age but I'm pretty sure they were around 5 and 3 years old at the time. He told us about a boy who came to the orphanage who had been living in a pig sty. He didn't know his name or how old he was so they let him pick his own name. They found out his mother was a prostitute who had left him on the streets to die.

We have our own sad stories too. Kids who have so much that they turn to drugs for excitement and end up overdosing or landing in jail. People who turn to alcohol or other evils because they have lost a job or can't make as much money as they want to.

The world needs God. I watched some more video the other night from the I Am Second website (www.iamsecond.com) and am reminded the depravity we drive ourselves to and the incredible mercy that we find in our Creator. I am so thankful for where I am with God right now and hope my relationship continues to grow bigger and closer and more intimate. It in an incredible journey full of insight, peaks and valleys and hope.

I hope today is filled with His peace and joy for you.

More Rangers

OK, they are still in 1st place. Great stuff. Elvis is incredible. He'll still make some mistakes but he also makes some incredible plays. Last night was another one. Josh Hamilton came back with a bang (homerun) and I'm hoping he gets back in his groove. The pitching is what has been carrying through many of the games so far. Yes, I said the pitching. Millwood has been great almost every outing but the offense hasn't been there to in some of his games to do it's part. It's no wonder everyone thought this Holland kid would be a top prospect. He can deal it.
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I just heard Jeremy Camp's "Give Me Jesus" rendition last night. I think I probably listened to it 5 or 6 times in a row before moving on to another song. It's a powerful message wrapped in a pretty simple song.
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I hope your day is filled with the love and peace that comes only from God.

Our Battle

For your battle is not against flesh and blood...

Why did Mark Cuban tell Kenyon Martin's mom that Kenyon is a thug? What would cause someone to do that? Can we say it's the heat of the battle? Emotions? Pain?

For years, I have responded to people by the way they made me feel. If they caused me to feel good, I was nice to them. If they caused me to feel bad, I didn't treat them so well. I thought the problem was what they were doing. I don't think that way anymore.

Satan wants us stirred up. He wants the heat of the battle, emotions and pain to guide us. All of those situations are about us and satan wants our lives to be about us. Did satan make Mark Cuban say those things? No, but I do believe satan has influence on Cuban (and everyone else) to cause Cuban to make his response from his feelings. Do you think Cuban really things Martin is a thug because he plays a game physically? Do you think Cuban really wanted to tell Martin's mom her son was a thug? In fact, he has written an apology and I think Cuban is sorry for doing that but may not understand what really caused him to spout off like that.

I'm using an extreme example of how satan works because I truly believe satan is not given enough credence for his role in our lives. Satan wants us to think the battle is against the person who is aggravating us or hurting us and that is a lie. The battle is against satan and his forces of evil. Our battle is against forces we cannot see (and for most of my life, forces I didn't even fathom, didn't understand and didn't care to understand) and that is they way satan wants it. He wants us to battle what we can see and we fall for it because it is easy.

I don't know how many times I have read Romans 6 and gone right through it without listening and heeding to what is said. Because I can't see the rulers and authorities of the dark world, I didn't pay much attention but continued to focus on flesh and blood. When I read Romans 6 today, I shiver because I now know those forces are fighting for my thoughts and actions every day but I also know I have been completely equipped by God to hold them off. God has given me all I need if I just reach for the tools, the weapons he has made for me.

The battle is not against flesh and blood and cannot be fought by flesh and blood alone. I thank God for his preparation for me and for his Spirit that will fight for me and with me to fend off the true battle.

Cut Off - Monday Sports

Our home Internet service has been down for several days and it's been odd, frustrating and liberating. It's odd not coming in and flipping on the computer to check email or fantasy baseball stats or all that other important stuff I have to look at every night. It's frustrating because there is some information that I need to get to and can't and it's somewhat liberating because it's one less thing I get caught up doing.

A new modem is supposed to be delivered today and we should be hooked back in to the information portal tonight. I'm sure it will take a few calls to customer service to make it all work but it will be good to get tied back in.
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I enjoy the rain when it's convenient for me.
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People are making way too much of the Mavs last second loss. Did the refs blow it? Yes. Did that one thing lose the game for the Mavs? Not really. It's clear they can't hang with the Nuggets. My disdain for the Mavs plays in to my thoughts and I'm aware of that but it doesn't change the fact that they are done.
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On the other hand, the Rangers look like they are primed to go to the World Series. OK, that may be a bit over the top but they are in 1st and playing good so I'll enjoy it as long as I can.

That's playing good with Michael Young and Josh Hamilton on the bench hurting right now.
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What's up with Tiger?
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That's all today.

Tired = No Post

I'm beat and me being tired means the wheels in my noggin' turn slower than normal and I have had nothing to post but babbling. I guess I could have posted that and tried to convince you I was typing in tongues.

The economy is confusing. It seems like it should turn around soon and then we hear that the big banks need another $65 million or billion in capital. Now, where do they go to get that in a bad economy? I don't think Chrysler will be loaning it to them since they will likely end up being owned by a foreign company who will benefit from US tax dollars being pumped into the company.

Any ideas where they will send the remaining prisoners from Gitmo? Obama's great idea of shutting it down to make us nicer people means those people have to either a) go back home and catch up on their terrorist techniques or b) be delivered to a prison in the U.S. I'm not seeing many hands go up for the people wanting them in their area.

Manny using steroids. Sad but not surprising. Who's left? Pujols? Howard?

Mariano Rivera gave up back-to-back home runs last night. That can't be a good sign of things to come for the Yankees.

I'm surprised people like Romo and Dirk don't find it easier to be a monk than date someone. Talk about scrutiny. And why does anyone care? Don't we have enough problems of our own? (Obviously that's not the case or People, National Enquirer, TMZ and the ilk would be out of business.)

I'm ready to be well again, to sleep through the night again and to feel good again. On the other hand, there's Romans 5:8 to think about. Hallelujah.

Why I'm A Rangers Fan

Did you see Chris Davis dive into the stands to catch a foul ball last night? EFFORT with big, bold capital letters.

OK, the idea for this blog started with why I'm not a Mavericks fan but watching Davis jump into the stands and almost make an incredible catch only solidified my feelings. I watched the Mavs today in the 3rd and 4th quarter and saw a team with no heart. Kidd throws balls everywhere and the few that do go to teammates go right by them with little if any effort. Dirk gets a technical when things are really starting to fall apart and gets a chance to take the ball hard to the hoop - maybe drawing a foul, maybe dunking it to make a statement. What does he do? He trys to finesse his way under the arm of the defender and misses the layup. Then he wanders back down the court with the most blank expression you can fathom. The coach is sitting on the bench looking like Rick Perry - he knows he got the job but just can't figure out how he did it or what he's supposed to do next. Maybe he'll convince the Mavericks to secede from the NBA.

The Rangers aren't good every year. Shoot, you can count the number of years they've been good on one hand but they have several players who don't quit, who lead with actions and words. I'll take Michael Young and his selflessness and Ian Kinsler and his determination and Hank Blalock and his perseverance and Chris Davis and his doing whatever it takes and Josh Hamilton and his struggle and Andrew Jones and his smile while climbing out of a deep hole and Nelson Cruz who everyone says can't make it but keeps fighting and Ron Washington and his character when everyone says he needs to go...I'll take those guys over the Mavs every day of the week. (Yes, I realize there are no pitchers on my list but hopefully they will show up one day.)

After today, I don't think I can stomach another Mavs game for awhile. So here's to hoping that the Rangers make it over .500 for the year and the guys keep fighting no matter where they are in the standings and maybe, just maybe, we get some pitching that is hard to expect for Rangers fans.

Closing the Blog

I'm shutting down the blog until next Monday to prevent the swine flu.

I may be blind to the problem but I think there is a lot of overreaction. I don't blame people but just chuckle silently. Maybe I'll be proved to have been too unconcerned. In the meantime, I'll keep washing my hands more and doing what I can to keep it away.

My son plays in a baseball tournament this weekend and they have suspended the post-game handshake between teams in an effort to thwart spreading the disease.

Until Monday, be well.

Swine Flu and Arlen Specter

I have a sinus infection or something of that sort that is wearing me out today. I'm going home in a bit to try and get some sleep that I have missed the last 2 nights. I'm sure you are all happy to know that. :)
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I don't know what makes the swine flu worse than the regular flu. The deaths from this flu are tragic but I hear about deaths from the flu every year. I certainly don't want it and hope those who have it will recover.

I can't imagine the death of a 23 month old from swine flu. My heart goes out to that family.
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Arlen Specter has converted from Republican to Democrat. I don't understand how a sitting legislator can do that and it not require an immediate vote to see if the people of his state want to replace him. It should certainly apply both ways but I don't think it's fair to the country or the people he represents for him to change his party affiliation without laying out his reasoning and being subjected to a new election under the new party.
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I used to eat and breathe politics. Now I don't want to think about it much. At what point the voting is over, there's not much I can control. However, the change of Specter's affiliation and the pending Minnesota race can give the Democrats a super majority in the Senate (I think) and that does give me some concern.
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The Mavericks beat San Antonio and I didn't see a minute of it. I don't like the team, I don't care for the coach and the owner can easily turn me off. From what little I've seen, I would be a fan if the keep JJ Berea and Bass and ship the rest off and only bring in players I approve of.
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The Rangers are back to .500 and battling through some games for wins. Go Rangers!
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God is so good. As I learn to trust him more each day, I find life to be more and more peaceful. It doesn't mean things are perfect or I don't encounter problems but there is peace.

I hope you are finding the blessings, love, mercy, grace and hope that God affords everyone single one of us.

Beauty

I watched a beautiful thing last night as a young lady was baptized after study and making a decision to turn her life over to Christ, our Lord.

Over the years I have rode a wave of thoughts on baptism. Is it essential? Is it necessary? Is it an act of obedience? Growing up in a Church of Christ fellowship, the necessity of baptism gets hammered pretty hard. After reading scripture and thinking about what I believe God is saying, I have come to the conclusion that baptism is essential, not out of obedience or following rules, but as an act of submission. It is a decided act to step in the water and leave an old life behind to start a new life. It is a thought-out act of following in Christ's footsteps, albeit much simpler, to show our submission to a life with Him. There is beauty in submission.

I love the language of Romans 6. I see beauty in the language of the writer. Verse 4-5 says "We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life. If we have been united (italics mine) with him like this in his death, we will certainly be united with him in his resurrection (bold mine)." I read this and wonder how someone would not RUN to the water after deciding to accept Christ and follow him because I see beauty in how God has allowed us to be united with Christ in death and in life.

Last night I saw glory and power and love and forgiveness and hope all wrapped up in a beautiful act of baptism.

Learning to Win

My son's baseball team had the best tournament of the year yesterday. His team was 1-12 coming in to the day and starting bracket play as the 9th (and last) seed. They played the 8th seed and got a 9-3 lead before letting the other team come back and almost win. Our guys prevailed 10-9 but it appeared they had the sense they would end up losing another one and played tentatively in the latter innings. The next game was against the #1 seed and we were off and running with a 5-0 lead before letting the other team tie it in the 5th inning and then watched as they scored the winning run in the 6th to beat us 6-5. Again, it looked like our boys got nervous and tight down the stretch afraid of blowing it instead of taking their play up another notch.

Sometimes, we get used to defeat and think that no matter how good things seem, it will all go away and we will be on the losing end. Or, we get so used to defeat that we learn to live in it thinking of victory as something the lucky people get.

My Christian walk has taken on that feel at times. I wanted to win, I wanted to live Christ-like but knew I had blown it before and would probably blow it again. I would get close and then let something move me back to my old ways. Praise God that I feel like I am moving away from that thinking and realizing that victories are there for the taking if I will trust in the Lord and live courageously for Him. I'm learning to walk in faith and turn away from my old thoughts of not being able to do the right thing, to win. I realize that the win isn't mine alone but a team victory. I win when I rely on God and allow Him to work through me using His perfect and wonderful Spirit and He gives me other people who want to help.

I want to continue to learn to win in God's plan for me. Victory is sweet and He has paved the way for me to enjoy it.

I Love My Church

I love my church. It is imperfect, filled with people who have all sorts of problems. It has the people who think instrumental music is wrong and those who don't take issue with it. It has people who have never had a drop of alcohol cross their lips and those who have battled addiction. It has people who think showing up every Sunday is what's most important and those who don't show up often but share the compassion of Christ with other people daily. It has people who's families are almost perfect and people who's families are in shambles. My church has people of all sizes and shapes, of various socio-economic backgrounds and, to some degree, different cultures and colors. My church is wonderful because in all it's greatness and problems, it is the church Christ created.

I read an article by Jud Wilhite tonight that reminded me why I love the church. Wilhite is the pastor of Central Christian Church in Las Vegas (yes, sin city) and he said something that really matches what I think about church.

"I believe with all my heart that the Church is the world's hope. Government can't change the heart. Education, as important as it is, can't change the heart. Healthcare and Social Security reform won't change the heart. Only God can do that. And He uses people - the Church - to reach out and impact others. Many people are cynical and skeptical about church. And who can deny all the scandals and hypocrisy that occur in the name of God? It is truly awful. Yet, for every scandal there are thousands and thousands of churches making a real difference and doing their best to help others."

I love my church and I hope God continues to give us opportunity to reach a lost and hurting world AND I hope we will meet the opportunity with the heart of Christ. I see it happening through different people in different ways and it excites me. The Church, the body of Christ, offers hope through the resurrected Savior.

Warriors

My image of a warrior is someone who is always ready for a fight, always prepared for battle, always looking for the enemy and ready to use all the weapons and tools they have to win the battle.

I wonder what happens when the battle is over. What does a warrior do? What goes through the mind of that person who is so ready for battle that they look forward to it because it has become their comfort zone? How easily can they adapt to peace? I wonder if it is scary to a warrior when the battle they are fighting comes to an end.

I have been reading and trying to better understand spiritual warfare and this is one of the questions I have been mulling. What happens to people who are in the midst of a spiritual battle and they see it coming to an end? Do they exhale and become thankful and relax or do they fear the end because they have equipped themselves to keep on fighting? Or what happens to them when they are between battles? They have been fighting then the fight subsides. How do they keep from getting lazy while enjoying the peace?

I know some of these questions are a little over the top and don't apply to every person and every situation. They are just thoughts I've had bouncing around in my head and in my heart. I have used them in looking at my life and how I have and will deal with spiritual battles. I don't think there is a one-size-fits-all answer to any of the questions but they are questions that make me stop, even haunt me a little.

I know this. God is good and will provide everything I need if I rely on him. It's when I rely on me that things fall apart. Maybe I'm coming up with those questions with a "me" mentality because none of them ask what God does in the heart of a warrior. I need to think about it some more.

May your hearts and lives be filled with His grace and peace.

30 More Hours of Sleep Would Be Good

I spent the weekend at Camp Deer Run with 100+ young people and some other adults. It was a spiritual retreat for our youth group and 4 other churches (2 from Arkansas, Bowie and Early) and a wonderful and wet time. I appreciate my time with our youth group because they always offer hope...hope for today and tomorrow, hope for more Christ-likeness, more openness about our Savior and hope that the kingdom of God will continue to become stronger and more in love with Him.

I saw some incredibly loving and caring youth ministers and their families and I was once again reminded how blessed we are to have Jacob and Heather Baker in our church family. I am repeatedly overwhelmed by their love for our kids and their desire to share Christ.
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I saw a report on the news today there is a case in front of the Supreme Court to decide whether schools can strip search children. It focuses around a girl who was 13 at the time, an honor student with no history of trouble. Another girl was caught with drugs and blamed it on the honor student. The honor student said she knew nothing about it so the Assistant Principal got the school nurse to strip search her. The girl recanted being down to just her undergarments and being told to take them off also. This was all done WITHOUT the parent's knowledge.

As I listened to the story, I thought about that happening to one of my kids. Now, if you know me well you know I have a bit of a temper. It doesn't go off often but when it does things tend to get broken. I can only imagine finding out that the school had strip searched one of my children without my knowledge and I'm pretty sure the temper alarm would go off and nothing good would happen after that.

I hope the Supreme Court uses some common sense and does not allow for strip searches without parental consent at a minimum. The 13 year old girl was horrified and ended up leaving that school because she was made fun of and worse.
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I'm really trying to work on my temper. As I have come to understand the spiritual battles for my heart better, I know that is one area that satan can use.
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Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind and with all your strength.

Denying Self

Learning to deny myself is hard. I've always lived in a world where what I thought/felt/knew/understood/imagined was my guiding principle. Moving to a life where I call on God to fill me with His desire seems like a much better way to live but I still try to interject what I think God would be happy with.

I've told people that God wants them to act, not just sit around and wait on Him and that's still kind of true but I don't think I was ever really waiting on Him. I thought I knew what God would want and I did it...or I did what I felt like was right or fair to me.

I want to live differently. I am trying to follow a path where I wait to hear from God and then try to act according to what I am led to, not what I create. It tries my patience and sometimes, I go back to my old routine of doing what I think is best. It's a hard habit to break and one I know the evil forces around me don't want me to break.

I want to press on, even when it's difficult. There have been days where I felt alone, like God wasn't there to guide me and then something happens that I know is His reminder that He is at work, not in my time but His.

I want to live for Him. I want to walk away from my thought processes of the past and move to a paradigm that is centered around God. Something I was reading earlier made the comment that we sometimes have to leave what is familiar to truly find God. We have to break out of our routine and go to a place that is new, maybe uncomfortable, so that we will cling to God and grow in Him. I'm ready to make that trip. I don't do it thinking it will be all smiles and sunshine but knowing there will be things that stretch me and challenge me but I will have all I need to overcome them...and all I have to do is call on God and trust in His glory and goodness to carry me through.

Amorality and Baseball

Scientists at USC released a report stating that Facebook and Twitter create the danger of an amoral society. There thought is that all the computer interaction takes out emotion and psychological issues we notice in face-to-face contact.

Fewer people talk as we have entered a world of texting, tweeting, abbreviations and so on. I wonder if the USC folks aren't on to something?
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Last week I was imagining the Rangers going 162-0. Today, I'm hoping they win another game.
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Speaking of the Rangers, 8 games into their season they are already planning to reschedule a game because it conflicts with the opening of JerryWorld and the first Cowboys game. We sure wouldn't anything getting in the way of that now, would we?
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That's it for today. God loves you.

Life

The sermon I heard Sunday morning was about life. Christ's death was a sobering and important event but his resurrected life is what gives us a future. His death brought reconciliation but his resurrection brought us life. I want to live in that, rejoice in that, give praise in that. Reconciled through death to sin and self, alive through the power that created the world and shook the earth.

Charge!

An Angel won the Masters. Some guy from Argentina. My man Phil made a good run at it and Kenny Perry had it in the bag then blew it.
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The Rangers bullpen stinks!
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Obama pulled the trigger on rescuing the freighter captain. He allowed Navy snipers to take out the pirates. Now, the pirates are saying they will strike back. They must be nuts.
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I spent a good part of the weekend watching our youth kids compete at LTC. It's a fun experience every time I go - being with friends and watching our kids perform. It takes a lot of effort to pull it off and I'm thankful for all the people who work with the kids all year to prepare them.
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I saw the "hot dog man" yesterday at church in Fort Worth. Some of you may remember the hot dog vendor at Rangers games who had a very distinct way of announcing that he was selling hot dogs. I've mimicked his voice with my kids from time to time. He was a celebrity of sorts and I've often wondered what happened to him. I found out yesterday. He has laid down his celebrity status so he can spend more time serving God. He realized the celebrity was all about him and was taking him down a road he didn't want to keep traveling.

I miss the hot dog man at ballgames but I much rather hear his compelling story of a desire to serve God.
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Our Savior is risen. He is no longer in the tomb. He defeated death for me and for you. Rejoice!

EOW Miscellaneous Thoughts

I've tried to hold the line on Obama-alarmism but this bill floating through the house seems a bit scary. Mandatory voluntary service? Seems odd. Something else I read said that religious-based service will not count. Hmmmm. Check it out. I've got more research to do myself.
http://www.worldnetdaily.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=92288
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Pirates have captured the captain of an American freighter. I want to avoid bloodshed and have tried to tone down my rhetoric over the past few years but I'm thinking a team or two of Navy Seals visiting the pirates (not a social call, mind you, but an all-out assault) might help slow down their desire to be involved in thievery and kidnapping.
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Tragic news about the Angels pitcher who just finished a great game and was killed after the game in a hit-and-run crash. 22 years old.
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I hope to watch the Passion of the Christ again this weekend. Each time I have watched it, it has become more personal to me and, while graphic, I appreciate the reminder of the pain Christ suffered for me. I talk about the sacrifice but it's easy to forget how much He suffered.
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I wonder how our faith would change if we knew we might be killed at any moment for being a Christian. Just a few days ago I was thinking it would be cool to have a bigger TV while at the same time, I bet someone was worried about being identified for professing Christ because they might be imprisoned or killed.
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God is love (1 John 4). Using that verse, I paraphrase 1 Corinthians 13 this way. God is patient, God is kind. God does not envy, God does not boast, God is not proud. God is not rude, God is not self-seeking, God is not easily angered, God keeps no record of wrongs. God does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. God always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind (Luke 10). Using that verse, I paraphrase 1 Corinthians 13 this way. I will be patient, I will be kind. I will not envy, I will not boast, I will not be proud. I will not be rude, I will not be self-seeking, I will not be easily angered, I will not keep record of wrongs. I will not delight in evil but will rejoice in the truth. I will always protect, always trust, always hope, always persevere. Today, that is what I will strive to do if I want to live in the image of God.

In Christ alone, my hope is found. God is so good. He offers me peace in times of storms, He offers me hope in times of despair, He offers me joy in times of sadness. He will carry my burden, He will mourn for me. I love God today like I have never loved God before. I pray that love grows, it prospers and spreads through me and fills me up.

I hope your Easter weekend is filled with the peace, love and joy that only comes from our Creator and Savior, the Lord God.

Run the Race

1 Corinthians 9:23-25 (New International Version)

²³I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings. ²⁴Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. ²⁵Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever.

Hebrews 12:1-3 (New International Version)

¹Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. ²Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. ³Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

These passages came to mind tonight during Bible study. I thought about the race we must run and what kind of race it is. Is it a sprint? I think that is often what we want it to be; a race that takes effort but where the goal is reached quickly but the race usually isn't quick. Is it a marathon? While our race may be long, I don't think distance is the only issue. I have settled on the idea that the race is often more like a steeplechase; long and grueling on it's own mixed with many obstacles that will wear us down, cause us to fall and render pain.

I don't know that any of those analogies are right but I do know this. The race we are running started with a glorious event that we are about to celebrate - the resurrection of the Christ. I want to keep my eyes fixed on the prize because a high price was paid on my behalf to receive it. I want to keep my eyes fixed on the prize because I want to know the pure joy of being in the presence of God.

Sports Wrap-up

It was a great day at the ballpark yesterday. Cold and windy outside, warm and sunny inside AND the Rangers smoked the Indians. Some impressions:
1. An Army band was there playing some pre-game music and the national anthem. Last year, the same band was playing at a game via a live feed from Afghanistan. Pretty cool that they were there to play live.
2. It was the first time I experienced a pre-game timing problem at a Rangers game. Two B-1 bombers flew over at the exact time they were supposed to but we were only halfway through the national anthem. You cannot hear a band playing or the person next to you singing when two B-1 bombers fly over you.
3. George Bush got a HUGE reception of cheers when he came out to throw the first pitch. It was a strike.
4. The Rangers infield played as good a game as they could play I think. Young Elvis Andrus made some great plays at shortstop and Michael Young looks like he'd always played 3rd base.
5. Every time Josh Hamilton comes up to bat, people expect a home run.
6. Jerry Jones was at the game. I expected to hear more boos when he walked out but maybe people didn't notice...or didn't care.
7. The Jerrydome is HUGE.
8. A kid stole 3rd base. It's a promo deal where the kid has to run from the left field fence, grab 3rd base and run back in 40 seconds. I thought it was pretty cool and then it turns out the boy who did it was sitting behind us. He was pumped. Funny thing was, someone else was supposed to do it and they couldn't find him and the boy behind us was walking by the people looking at the right time.
9. I like the checkerboard baseball field.
10. The crowd doesn't respond much to the people throwing t-shirts in the crowd.
11. I liked the old-time scoreboard in left field but the new video board is kind of neat. People who couldn't see the big screen above home run porch can get all the info now.

It was a fun day and a great start to the Rangers season. 161 more to go.
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North Carolina ran away with the game last night. They were my pick to win it all but I was afraid Ty Lawson would be injured and went with Memphis. Ty Lawson wasn't hurt enough not to play, was the Player of the Game and dominated throughout the tournament. It wasn't a great game to watch but not surprising.
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A different note. There's a funeral for the police officer killed in Bridgeport today in Decatur. I read part of an interview with the police officer's mother the other day and one of her statements is still with me. She talked about praying for the family of the guy who killed her son and talked about their loss also. Amazing grace and mercy from a woman who is suffering and a beautiful story for all of us. I know they will be in pain today and many other days but it seems their family is focused on the greater reward.

3 More Sleeps...

until Opening Day at The Ballpark! I think I heard that the Rangers won a record number of spring training games this year. I don't know what that means for the regular season but I find with the Rangers, you celebrate what you can.
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Tragedy struck a Bridgeport family yesterday. I still don't know the whole story but a guy rammed a police car killing the officer and leaving a wife and 5 year old girl without their husband and dad coming home. I offered up a prayer for them last night but really didn't even know what to say other than leaving it in God's hands to hold them up and to let them see Him in this.

I was in one of our stores the other day helping the manager interview people. A question I often ask is "tell me a difficulty you have worked through and what you learned from it." Her difficulty was that her 19 year old son was shot and killed a few years ago and what she learned was to quit hating God and let Him into her heart so He could bring healing and peace. She admitted she still struggles but is getting closer to God everyday.

I don't understand what's going on at times but I know He is there and He wants to help me overcome what obstacles are thrown in my way.

I hope you find peace and joy that only comes from God.

How Long Can This Last?

That may be what some of you say when reading my ramblings. I looked back and realized I've been posting blogs for over 3 years. It doesn't seem like it's been very long at all but I also think I'm still 30 sometimes so the mind does play tricks on me.
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It's hard when the economic crisis hits close to home. The husband of one lady in my office just found out his company is laying people off and if the tide doesn't turn quickly may shut the doors. Another husband's company has discontinued offering insurance because of money troubles.

Obama has fired one CEO and I wonder if he will put pressure on others. I'm no fan of unions so I look at the UAW skeptically wondering what they will do to help. I saw today that some AT&T employees may go on strike. Really? Do they think that's a good idea right now? I bet there are A BUNCH of people who will gladly take their jobs.

I'm still thinking this country is going to reap what we have sown and it will not be pretty or easy. I don't know when and how but at some point, something has to give.
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I don't think I would have ever dreamed I would blog about Kris Kristofferson or a song he has sung. You just never know.
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A good friend of mine (HINT: he's Jamaican, a teacher at a Ft. Worth law school, missionary and preacher) turned me on to looking forward to things based on the number of "sleeps" before they happened. It started with a trip to Brazil when we counted down the number of sleeps until we were back in our own beds.

4 more sleeps to Rangers opening day game! I'm looking forward to seeing more of the Josh Hamilton story being written. Every interview I have seen with him has included his faith and reliance on God. I'm looking forward to: seeing how Michael Young makes the transition to 3rd, seeing Elvis Andrus make some incredible plays from shortstop, seeing if Ian Kinsler can get started on another MVP-like season, seeing how Chris Davis does in his sophomore year, seeing if Millwood delivers in his contract year, seeing where Saltalamacchia and Blalock end up and seeing if Teagarden is going to be the super-catcher people are talking about.

I have no expectations but only hope that the Rangers play competitive ball.
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Me and Bobby McGee

A friend of mine often uses quotes from Christian writers to help illustrate an idea on his blog. Me, I use Kris Kristofferson. I heard him singing "Me and Bobby McGee" the other day and a line from the song has stuck with me. Freedom's just another word for 'nothing left to lose'. Truth Kris, truth.

I'm not here to advocate giving up everything I have. I have wrestled the past few years with material possessions and what makes God happy. Where I went off the rails a bit was worrying that I had too much when the problem was really with where my heart is. Am I more concerned about helping those who need help or am I more concerned with protecting my assets? When my heart is attuned to God, when my desire is to serve Him first using whatever gifts I have to offer, the material isn't a problem. But when I'm more concerned about my assets and adding to my collection - my heart strays from God and His desire for me to serve in His kingdom.

Having nothing to lose isn't just about material possessions, it's about our heart. When I am living in the light, following God's desire for me, living in concert with Him so that when something does go wrong, when something is lost, I am free to let it go and know God has a plan for me. Freedom is letting go of everything I'm tempted to grab hold of and just letting God hold on to me, trusting that He will never drop me, never let me go.

Thanks for those great words Kris.

I hope you are also finding the freedom and peace that God offers.

Final Four

The Final Four is set. I'm pulling for North Carolina to win it all. I'm often a fan of the coach as much as the team - one reason I'm always pulling for Duke to win - and Roy Williams seems like a good guy. I could pull for Pitino but I haven' t seen his team play one time this year so I'm lost with them. Villanova and UConn are too far north for me to cheer for. Crazy, huh? Go Tar Heels.
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Do you think people still see things from God? Do they see ghosts or angels? Do they have dreams that tell them a story they need to hear? A few years ago, I would not even entertain the idea but through some experiences that have changed my heart, I'm not so sure. Now, let me be clear that I'm not saying it happens. I don't know but I've heard stories of people who see these things and I believe they believe it.

I watched another special on Josh Hamilton last night. At one point, he saw clouds that he believes were symbolizing the fight between good and evil. He also says he had a dream where he was at the Home Run Derby being interviewed by a female reporter...and then it happened.

I do believe that both God and satan can inject themselves in our thoughts (which is why we need the Holy Spirit-supernatural to help us fight with or fight against supernatural) so why can't those thoughts come in dreams or some other form.

I'm treading on dangerous ground, opening up ideas that I have no answers too and far too little understanding. It's something bouncing around in my head causing me to wonder how God can work in our lives.

I do know this. I become a bigger Josh Hamilton fan all the time. He and his wife have fought battles many of us can't understand and they have come through it together standing firm in God's mercy and grace. My hope is that he will continue to succeed and use his platform to spread the good news of a God who loves His children and wants them in a right, reconciled relationship with Him.

May you find the joy and peace today that only comes from God.

The Valley

A great poem from an email passed along to me and from me to you...

It’s In The Valleys I Grow

Sometimes life seems hard to bear,
Full of sorrow, trouble and woe
It’s then I have to remember
That it’s in the valleys I grow.

If I always stayed on the mountain top
And never experienced pain,
I would never appreciate God’s love
And would be living in vain.

I have so much to learn
And my growth is very slow,
Sometimes I need the mountain tops,
But it’s in the valleys I grow.

I do not always understand
Why things happen as they do,
But I am very sure of one thing.
My Lord will see me through.

My little valleys are nothing
When I picture Christ on the cross
He went through the valley of death;
His victory was Satan’s loss.

Forgive me Lord, for complaining
When I’m feeling so very low.
Just give me a gentle reminder
That it’s in the valleys I grow.

Continue to strengthen me, Lord
And use my life each day
To share your love with others
And help them find their way.

Thank you for valleys, Lord
For this one thing I know
The mountain tops are glorious
But it’s in the valleys I grow!

by Jane Eggleston

Brazilian Shower

In Brazil, we go on a retreat in the country and the one thing that always makes a memory are the cold showers. The retreat facilities catch water in a cistern and there is nothing, other than the sun, that heats the water. I got a reminder of those days on Monday. Two members of the family had already had the joy of a cold shower before I got in. WOW!

Here's my plug for Total Plumbing Solutions. Joe got a hot water heater out and installed on Monday and we are back to showers with hot water. Hot water is good.
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I missed the President's speech last night but have heard some comments from supporters and haters. Too much of the same 'ol, same 'ol.
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I was reminded of the spiritual battle that rages around us last night. A guy I was talking to was telling me about a relative who has a 28 year old daughter that is battling a brain tumor and has only a few weeks to live. He was telling me about the testing of faith his relative has gone through. I can't imagine the challenge that would be before me knowing one of my children was terminally ill; the questions I would have for God but it was encouraging to hear how this family is approaching it so far. I know they will have tough days ahead and hope their faith will be strengthened through dark times.

God is good but His goodness isn't in what we have today but in what awaits us. Health and wealth are nice things to have but God has plans that are far, far greater than what we can comprehend today. I look forward to when I can share that glorious time with Him.

A Whole New Ballgame

I picked Michigan over Clemson and Western Kentucky over Illinois. I told myself to take Maryland over California but couldn't do it for some reason. Heyfelvdt or whatever his name is for Gonzaga is a player. I missed the UCLA-VCU game...sounds like a nailbiter to the wire.
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Have you ever had the experience where you thought you knew something then realized how much you didn't know but started learning and understanding and it opened your eyes to ideas and concepts you had never grasped before? When it happens, it's a whole new ballgame. You begin to see things you were somehow blind to before. You begin to grasp things that didn't make sense or didn't register with you before. It's as if doors are opened and you travel through time and space that you didn't know existed.

I am in one those periods and I hope it doesn't stop. Each week brings new revelations with plenty of stuff to chew on, to think about and process. It is exciting and a bit scary at times and I hope it doesn't stop. I want to know more, to understand better.

I hope your day is filled with the knowledge of the hope and peace and love afforded each of us by God.

Blame Game

For every email I get blaming the Democrats, I should be getting many more with many different faces. Where is the email blaming the people who fudged their loan applications to get a house that was too big or a car that was too expensive? Where is the email of the person who votes their incumbents in time after time because they wear the Republican label and then say we need to throw the bums out? Where is the email blaming people who have voted for a party without really knowing what that party was going to do with our trillions of dollars?

I worked in the home health care industry for a few years and I have seen how the government system works. It's horrible and easy to abuse. Guess what! There are a lot of people running businesses who make their money on easily abused government systems and...those people abuse the system. Is the government to blame or is the business person who abuses the loopholes to blame?

There are Republicans blaming Democrats for the AIG mess who seem to have forgotten that the former Republican administration was the first to give a handout to AIG.

I didn't vote for Obama and probably wouldn't vote for him if we were doing it all over again but it doesn't mean our politicians need to point fingers instead of accepting blame and fixing things.

I'm tired of all the blaming. Let's get over it and move on. Solutions, not blame, is what is needed today. Looking back is useless except as a learning exercise of what to avoid in the future. To bring it up over and over is not productive and not beneficial to a country mired in a mess.

Send me an email with good ideas and send me an email with politicians who are working to fix the problems. I'm tired of living in the past.

Madness

March Madness cranks up in a couple of days. I love it - my favorite postseason play of any sport. I'm not sure how Texas made it in with their play the past 2 months but I don't see them getting past Duke. I'm rooting for North Carolina to win it all but think either Louisville or Memphis may have a good shot. I can't wait for tip-off.
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I just deleted the majority of what I had written. Sometimes I go off and today...I was really going off. I need to think about it a little longer and decide if I really want to sound the way I think I sounded.

The crux of it was my weariness of getting emails about Obama killing the country. I'm no fan but all of our problems started long before Obama thought about running for President. It's easy to blame the government without looking at ourselves. Who put them there? Uh-oh...here I go again.
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A portion of Psalm 23 popped up on my blog this morning. It's my favorite scripture for personal reasons but also because I have come to own it. The Lord is my shepherd, He is all that I need. Not, the Lord is my shepherd and He is all that I need along with my house and car and job and...and...and.

If everything went away today, if I lost it all, would I still believe what the verse says? Would you? Would I be perfectly content and joyful if all I have is the Lord? Living on the streets, begging for food or money - would the Lord be enough for me? Working a minimum wage job and living in a 1 room apartment - would the Lord be enough for me? Making millions and living in a mini-mansion - would the Lord be enough for me?

It's tough to answer because I can't fully fathom those scenarios but it's the state I want to reach. It's something that I am grappling with, something I want to understand for what it means for me.

Shhhhh

Do you ever hear God talking to you? I use the word "hear" loosely because I'm not sure anyone can actually hear God (but I'm not sure they can't either) but there are times when I can't help but believe He is talking to me. The scriptures that have popped up on my blog site for the past week or two have all spoken to my heart. They have been things I have needed to read/hear at that moment, things that have helped me understand or through a struggle.

A friend told me about something called centered-prayer. I read a little bit about it, probably not enough to understand, but the essence of what I got from what I read was to be quiet, to simply listen for God. That's not easy. Try it sometime. Try sitting still for 5 minutes without thought entering your mind. Goodness, try it for 1 minute. Anyway, I have been trying to do just that and don't do very well, but the effort to simply be quiet, turn off the TV, radio, Internet and try to avoid thoughts; to be perfectly still and quiet...to wait to hear God...it's a peaceful and cleansing moment in time.

I hope to hear God but I can't do it with my mouth running, with my thoughts ruling my head, with my agenda before His. I have to get very close to God to hear Him. I have to rid myself of me and open my heart, my soul, my mind and my strength to only Him. What a beautiful challenge, what a glorious hope.

Where is North America?

I didn't think I would be spending any more space on TO but his press conference with Buffalo cracked me up. He hopes to make the Buffalo Bills "North America's team." Does he think Canada is going to cheer for Buffalo now that TO is in town? Surely it has to be humbling for him to go from the Cowboys and at least the talk about a Super Bowl to Buffalo, a 2nd tier team at this point.
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There is some great Christian music being made today and I have found certain songs that really resonate with me. One of my favorite groups is Third Day and a new song they have out is one of those songs. Revelation is about wanting to hear from God, wanting to know what He wants me to do, which path to take and the struggle that it is to wait at times. I get lost when I try to find my way on my own and I am learning to wait on God for direction and that is why I love this song.

Here are the lyrics to Third Day's "Revelation"

My life has led me down the
road that's so uncertain
Now I am left alone and I am broken
Trying to find my way
Trying to find the faith that's gone

This time I know that you are
holding all the answers
I'm tired of losing hope and taking chances
On roads that never seem
To be the ones that bring me home

(Chorus)
Give me a revelation
Show me what to do
'Cause I've been trying to find my way
I haven't got a clue
Tell me should I stay here
Or do I need to move
Give me a revelation
I've got nothing without you
I've got nothing without you

My life has led me down this
path that's ever winding
Through every twist and turn, I'm always finding
That I am lost again
Tell me when this road will ever end

I don't know where I can turn
Tell me, when will I learn
Won't you show me where I need to go
Let me follow your lead
I know that it's the only way
that I can get back home

(Chorus)

The Story I Woke Up With

Regardless of what I thought about writing today, how could it top the TO news? Yes, the Cowboys are cutting the talented, loud-mouthed receiver. I don't know Terrell Eldorado Owens other than from public appearance. I choose to believe that TO battles a number of problems internally and I believe his desire to win is incredibly high and the collision of the two created the spark that would set him off.

I had hoped the best for TO. He looks like an electric personality with a smile that can brighten up everything around him but he also had a mouth that seems to divide people from the locker room to the talk radio airwaves. I can't help but wonder what Dale Hansen will have to say about it tonight.

I don't know where TO will land but I hope it's a place with a strong-armed, thick-skinned QB. I can't imagine he will slide off into obscurity remembering how he was doing sit-ups in his driveway for reporters while his paid mouth (agent) rambled away before TO signed with the Cowboys. I expect a press conference with lots of fireworks but who knows?

Adios TO. I know Rick Ross will miss you...or maybe not, but good luck in the future. Maybe there is a place that won't have a running back and can throw passes on every play.

Ramblings

I wonder what happened on the boat with the 4 football players. How did 1 make it and the other 3 didn't? It's a tragic story with a lot of questions that will probably go unanswered.

The question of the day on Mike and Mike (ESPN Radio) is if you would buy a used car owned by a celebrity/athlete. Brett Favre put his truck for sale on eBay and offered to autograph the dashboard for the winner.

I've heard predictions the economic problems will begin to turn around sometime between July and late next year. TV weather forecasters have a better track record than that. Can you imagine them saying "it will rain sometime between July and late next year"?

There was a news item yesterday that Bill Gates has banned iPhones and iPods from his house for his wife and kids. I'm betting that drives them nuts. All their fortune comes from Windows and Apple products are the cool things to have.

There are a ton of new electronic gadgets on the market. Phones that do anything and everything, GPS units, electronic book readers. It's amazing and I wonder what the future will bring. I use an iPhone, iPod, laptop and GPS. I think the Kindle book reader looks like a cool gadget to have and can't imagine what is coming next. I remember thinking email would revolutionize communication and along comes MySpace, Facebook, Twitter and who knows what else that I can't keep up with.

Rumor has it warmer weather is coming. I like that in some ways, not so much in others. If it would stay in the 70's and 80's I would look forward to warm weather. As it is in Texas, warmer weather makes me start thinking about August.

Have a great day. God is so good.

Christ-likeness

WARNING: The following question is a trick question. Who is the most Christ-like person you know?

The problem with the question, in my mind, is that it leads me to compare myself with another human, another struggling, fallible soul. I've been guilty in the past of looking at someone I know and thinking I wanted to be more like them. The problem is if I look at someone else and begin to think I've got it more together than that person.

Christ is my comparison. I need to strive to follow his example.

I am imperfect. I wasn't made that way but have entered a world full of spiritual battles with forces that want to lead me to destructive decisions and, at times, I have fallen prey to those forces. On the other hand, I have God's Holy Spirit and, praise God, I have also relied on the power of the helper He sent me to win the battle against evil.

I will not lead a perfect life from this moment forward but I will make Christ the goal I want to strive for. I don't want to look at other humans who are waging the same fight that I am as my example nor my crutch to feel better about myself. I want to rejoice in the times I live like Christ and I will repent in the times I fall short of my example but I will remain focused on how He lived and how He wants me to live through the good and the bad.

Spiritual Journey

“But he knows the way that I take; when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold. My feet have closely followed his steps; I have kept to his way without turning aside.” (Job 23:10-11)

I love the words of Job. I have been and remain on a spiritual journey - one that will lead me to a destination of beauty or destruction depending on the road I choose to follow. As I look back on my trip, I see beautiful points I have visited and I also see some really bad places I was fortunate to make it through. Some of those places still leave images in my mind that I don't want to see again and I hope those images will help me better choose the path I take going forward.

I've been given a great GPS (God's Perfect System) and a navigator (Holy Spirit) that will help lead me to the mountain of God if I choose to listen. I want to take the better path, not that it will be easy but it will be the one where God is watching me, refining me and purifying me - turning me into gold. I want to be like Job, keeping to His way without turning aside.

God is so good.

Happy Birthday!

Today is my mom's 75th birthday. I know you aren't supposed to tell a woman's age but 75 is kind of special. I remember a few years ago when I thought 45 was "getting up there" but now that I'm almost up there, I have changed my point of view.

Mom, I love you and hope you have a great birthday!
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I was in Bridgeport yesterday afternoon for my daughter's first track meet. She was running the 800m and I was laughing with a friend about how the race was considered a sprint in some regards but to us, it just seemed like a heart attack waiting to happen. My girl did well and I'm really proud of her.
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I'm always a little surprised anyone is out there reading my babblings other than Rick (thanks for sticking with me Rick!) but I sincerely appreciate the comments some of you made about the blog while I take some time off. It's encouraging to know that some of the things I write are compelling enough that you come back. My hope is to keep going deeper in my relationship with God and hopefully encourage you to do the same. I realize we are all in different places at different times in our spiritual journey and I feel like my walk with God is so very new in so many ways. He is ripping away layers of self-reliance that I have tried to build around me and filling that space with His goodness. The process is not easy, even painful, but so rewarding.

I'll be back next week with my new word for the week - grappling. Thanks again for your comments and encouraging words.

God is so good.

Blogger Holiday

It's getting tough to get my thoughts on "paper" lately so I think I'm going to take a writing holiday. There are a few of you who stop by regularly so I wanted to let you know that my aim is to take the week off and see what happens. If something really big hits me, I might blog but I'm hoping to let some things sort themselves out in my head and then try again.

I'll leave you with this for now:

Philippians 4:8 (New International Version)

⁸Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Different Day...Same Thoughts

I'm still thinking about being made in God's image. I think one of the struggles I have is that I think of image as an external function (how I appear to other people) but being made in God's image in an internal function - it's about where our heart is. Our decisions are often affected by external factors but our decision or response in how we act is an internal decision.

Maybe it would be a good thing if we could roll our eyes backwards and have them look inside of ourselves instead of only seeing outside. What if we could look at the condition of our heart in a spiritual sense on a regular basis and see what God sees? I suppose the danger would be that I would, once again, think I was in control and lack the submissiveness that I need to have.

I want to live in the image of God. It's a battle because there are forces that want to prevent that but it's my desire and prayer to let the Spirit guide me in the fight as I live closer to my Lord.

Image

Our youth class started a new study last night about different ways we build a relationship with Jesus and what we sometimes leave out because it doesn't suit us or fit our image. Sometimes we see Jesus as the Savior but nothing more, sometimes we see Jesus as the one who is supposed to bring good things to our lives but nothing more, we see Jesus as the grace-giving Jesus but nothing more.

As we talked last night, the thought kept rolling through my mind that we are told in Genesis 9 that we are made in God's image. Think about that for a minute. We are made in His image.

I have spent a lot of years trying to see God in my image. Well, He must not be a very loving God because He let this bad thing happen to me. Well, He will forgive me for doing something to someone who hurt me. Well, He won't mind if I do this because it doesn't hurt anyone else.

He made us in His image. Why, oh why, do we move so easily from being in His image to an image of what we think is good and best. How long do we spend picking out clothes, worrying out our hair (or lack thereof), the vehicles we drive, the houses we live in? For a big majority of us, we spend a good bit of time thinking about our image.

We are made in God's image. Why mess with that?

More A-Rod

A-Rod met the press yesterday to come clean on his steroid usage. Today the radio is filled with questions of whether he's still telling the truth or not. My question is, what difference does it make? He's already received all the punishment he's going to get so why does everyone want to keep poking at him? Is there more to be gained knowing he used for 7 months instead of 6 or if he knew exactly what his cousin was giving him or not?

I agree that A-Rod is doing a good thing by telling his story and, at some point, everyone will have to accept what he says and move on. If he's holding information back, it is something that will eat at him much longer than the rest of us. In general, we have become a society of people wanting to hear the dirt on someone so we can talk about them instead of working on ourselves? Don't believe me? What's People and National Enquirer and so many other grocery store fillers about? They tell us about other people's lives and what's going on with them. There are multiple TV shows and web sites that do the same thing - fill us in on the dirt so we have something to talk about.

I'm guilty. I called A-Rod "A-Fraud" on my blog just a few days ago. He makes LOTS of money and made a mistake that tarnishes a game I'm growing to enjoy and that gives me the right to call him names? No doubt baseball needs to decide what it will do about records set during the steroid period but using steroids are mistakes made by people who simply need to come clean with themselves first. They can't undo what has been done and we can't go on forever talking bad about Bonds, McGuire, A-Rod and the gang and we don't need to. Baseball isn't the be-all and end-all. It's a game. It's not life-and-death, heaven-or-hell and every minute we are focused on that gives us less time to focus on something that is everything.

You've heard this from me before and I feel certain you will hear it more; there are forces of evil all around us and their one and only goal is to take our focus away from God, Christ and the promise that awaits us and I believe with all my heart that satan will use any and every situation he can to do that. Is satan using this situation with baseball? I don't know for sure but I do know this - when it causes me to call someone names or talk bad about someone I don't even know, it's certainly not something that is helping me on my path to Heaven.

Watch out for what satan does to trip you up. He's had my number and isn't going to stop going after me anytime soon and I would imagine you might have experienced similar treatment.

God loves me and He loves you. Philipians 4:8.

Old Man Hoops

You know the good days have passed you by when one of your teammates comes on the court to replace you says "take a break old man." We played Victory Family Church last night and I wish we could play these guys every week. We pulled out a 50-49 win last night but every game with them is a good one. They play with great sportsmanship and with a fun attitude. As for the old man hoops, I think I'm the oldest player on the court and certainly can't run and jump with most of the guys I'm playing so it's up to my wily basketball skills to get position for rebounds and set lots of screens for my teammates. It's still fun for me to just be on the court and I went 2 for 4 last night.

Texas got beat by A&M. I'm not sure what's going on with the Longhorns this year but it's not good. Not good at all.

I'm betting on UConn and North Carolina to face off in the finals. I think North Carolina has more guns but the big guy for UConn is crazy to watch. He may be averaging 100 blocks a game.

I heard it's Michael Jordan's birthday. I remember making sure I was home in time to see Chicago Bulls games not long ago just to see Jordan do something magical on the court.
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I was reminded of a quote by St. Francis of Assisi yesterday. "Preach the gospel at all times and, when necessary, use words."

Amen.

Monday Ramblings

It's Monday and I really don't have much to say...or much I can put into intelligible thoughts.

The NBA All-Star weekend just passed and I saw none of it. I didn't even realize it was going on until last Thursday or Friday. The slam dunk contest is filled with a bunch of no-name guys unless you are a basketball junkie. Where's Kobe and LeBron? The dunk contest used to be Michael and Dominique - top flight guys in the NBA.

The good news is that we are in the midst of college conference games and March Madness is just a few weeks away. I haven't been able to watch as much college basketball as I'd like this year but the good games are heating up and I hope to see more in the coming weeks. I'm not sure who can stop North Carolina this year.

Is anyone following the stimulus bill? Has anyone explained how we are going to have to pay for it? Does anyone have any faith that it will actually help? It sounds to me like someone is just digging a deeper hole for us to fall into. Either that or the children of my children will be paying for it so we can put off the pain.

Have you ever noticed how people turn to God during tougher times? A country in crisis - fighting wars on foreign soil, in economic turmoil, slipping morality. I'm just thinking where so many people see fear, God is seeing opportunity.

Spring Training and God

It may not be the best title for a blog but as pitchers and catchers get ready to report to Spring Training, the excitement of baseball starts to build for me. Last year is done and over with, the good and the bad. Josh Hamilton's homeruns and RBI's, Kinsler's MVP start before surgery and a great finish were all things I enjoyed about last year. Up and down pitching, Kinsler's surgery and the start of the season are all things I am glad are in the past. In just over 24 hours as I'm writing this, pitchers and catchers go to Arizona to start working on this year, a new year, a new start.

I was thinking last night about all the Spring Trainings God has given me. An opportunity to start over, fresh, no mistakes, a new beginning. I am so thankful that while the good and bad are a part of my history, with God I can start a new chapter, write a new history and, best of all, He is only interested in my current story - not the story of my past.

I love Spring Training and hope to make a trip to Arizona one of these days to see the new beginning of a new season. I think that would be way cool, like some people want to play Pebble Beach or go to the Daytona 500. I hope I get that opportunity but I cherish the knowledge that I can begin anew with my God, my Creator and Savior, when I need to and I don't have to wait for Him to wash me in His mercy and grace. It's an incredible feeling to know I am that loved by the One who can do all things. Hallelujah and hallelujah.

A-Roid, A-Fraud

The big baseball news this weekend was all about A-Rod and the rumor that he tested positive for steroids in 2003 while a member of the Texas Rangers. All I can say is...sad. I'm not a big A-Rod fan but hoped he would be the guy to break Bonds record and restore some integrity to the record book but it appears that won't be the case. Steroids have obviously run rampant in baseball and the sad truth is some innocent, hard working players are going to be labeled unfairly because of the number and names of people using steroids.

While we point our fingers at the users, and they are the ones ultimately guilty, we need to point our fingers at the whole of baseball from the commissioner on down. There is no way the owners and trainers didn't know, there's no way that the players association didn't know and none of them wanted to do anything about it.

Another example of sowing what you reap. The baseball establishment wanted the excitement that was being generated and now they pay the price for it. Good or bad, about all the suffer is a little embarrassment and a lot of hot air debating what to do with the records of this era.

Another star down. Who's next?

What Does God Want?

Do you know what God wants from you? What your "calling" is? What He expects you to be doing today?

As I continue a fascinating journey with God, one filled at times with incredible insights into who He is and one filled at times with an absolute loss of what He sees for me, I have come to experience emotions towards God that I didn't know existed and probably even resisted at times. I have experienced peace and grace that was palpable; something I believe I could literally feel flowing over me. I have had moments of joy that are exhilarating, breathtaking, indescribable.

Through each step of the journey, I continue to ask where God wants me to be. Does He want me to be an accountant accounting for things that need to be accounted for? Does He want me to be a coach or a teacher? Does He want me to be a lawyer? Does He want me working the streets helping the homeless? Does He want all those things?

I don't know. At different times I feel pulled to do different things and I wonder, "is that what God is calling me to?" My biggest problem I face with God on a daily basis is not having an agenda, a roadmap of what His plans are for my life. I am learning to wait but, at times, the waiting exhausts me and causes my mind to wander off. It affects my prayers, the intensity and frequency. It affects my outlook towards how I deal with things in my life.

I know God is here. I know He works through all the things that I get frustrated with as well as the things that lift me up. I know He is here, He loves me and He will guide me where He wants me to go if I just have faith and wait to hear Him.

I'm waiting Lord. Use me.

More Change

Leon Panetta, President Obama's choice for CIA chief earned $700,000 for lobbying and "speaking" engagements to some of the same companies our government is bailing out. Obama is now setting salary for executives of companies we are bailing out. Oh yeah, he's changing things alright.

If the government is going to interfere with compensation (which is insane for many companies but stockholders have been going along with it so it's back to the reap-what-you-sow doctrine), I say bump the guys out who have put the company in a position to need a bailout. They are still rewarding the same people who have made the decisions letting them keep their jobs even if they only make $500,000 now.
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I don't always put the word "President" before Obama when I'm writing. I mean no disrespect to the man or the office, I'm just trying to save some keystrokes. I think Obama has the toughest job in the world and I hope the very best for him. I don't care if a Democrat or Republican can end wars, restore peace and lead us to financial calm. I'm all for anyone from any party accomplishing that. I strongly agree with some of his social positions and strongly disagree with others. I just leave out "President" so I can type less. I'm pretty sure I did the same thing when referring to Bush and Obama already has me typing one more letter.
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Kobe went off for 61 points a few nights ago. LeBron went off for 52 last night. I've watched highlights and it is AMAZING what those guys do with the bodies while shooting and fending off the defensive players. AMAZING.
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Texas had another strong recruiting class sign yesterday. Hook 'em Horns! I hope Texas gets to play USC soon. I'm not sure who will win but if they played each other 10 times during the year I think I would enjoy it. Better yet, I'd like to see a pool of USC, Ohio State, Florida, LSU, Alabama, Texas and 1 or 2 others play each other all year. It would be like a playoff system.
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Have a great day. God loves you.

Hope, Change and Taxes

I'm not trying to jump on the bandwagon but does anyone else think it sadly humorous that 3 of Obama's nominees have had tax problems? Can anyone say "politics as usual"? Daschle only had a $128,000 tax deficiency. WHAT? Most people in this country would like to make that much in a year so how much income did he have to owe that much?

To Obama's credit, he owned up to messing up but if it's change we can believe in, he's certainly off to a shaky start in changing anything and getting us to believe it.
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I still wonder how much money Michael Phelps lost for taking his bong hit?
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As you can see, I don't have much to blog about. I've actually written two blogs recently and ended up deleting them because they were got to be very long. I'm not keeping up with the Mavs but am aware that spring training is just around the corner. One of these days I hope I can go to Arizona for spring practice.
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Friday night is Pack the House night for the Decatur vs. Bridgeport basketball games at DHS. The girls cross country team is getting their state championship rings and there's a hamburger supper benefit for the Lunt family. Come on out, eat and cheer on the Eagles.

Super Bowl

A great game. That sums up the Super Bowl for me even though the team I was pulling for didn't win. I didn't see any of the 1st half, much of the halftime show or many commercials but I did see Larry Fitzgerald do his thing and Santonio Holmes make some great catches - especially the last one in the corner of the end zone.
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February is here meaning two things. March Madness and Spring Training are coming soon. Wahooooo!
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Obama was cheering for the Steelers. I've heard both criticism and praise for a President who acts like a fan. I don't think I have any concern about the President cheering for one team over another but it would have been interesting to see the Cardinals at the White House and hear what was said.
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Michael Phelps got caught smoking pot. The TV stories suggest that will cost him a lot of money from endorsements that get pulled. He made a mistake (join the crowd Michael) and I hope he will use it to make a positive statement about avoiding the pitfalls of evil. I saw Andy Pettite (pitcher for the Yankees) on TV last night speaking at a Baptist church in Dallas and using his experiences, good and bad, to encourage others in their walk with God.

We all face failures, some of us more than others, but we continue to get the opportunity to bounce back from them, learn from them and share what we have learned to help prevent someone from following the same path.