Do you know what God wants from you? What your "calling" is? What He expects you to be doing today?
As I continue a fascinating journey with God, one filled at times with incredible insights into who He is and one filled at times with an absolute loss of what He sees for me, I have come to experience emotions towards God that I didn't know existed and probably even resisted at times. I have experienced peace and grace that was palpable; something I believe I could literally feel flowing over me. I have had moments of joy that are exhilarating, breathtaking, indescribable.
Through each step of the journey, I continue to ask where God wants me to be. Does He want me to be an accountant accounting for things that need to be accounted for? Does He want me to be a coach or a teacher? Does He want me to be a lawyer? Does He want me working the streets helping the homeless? Does He want all those things?
I don't know. At different times I feel pulled to do different things and I wonder, "is that what God is calling me to?" My biggest problem I face with God on a daily basis is not having an agenda, a roadmap of what His plans are for my life. I am learning to wait but, at times, the waiting exhausts me and causes my mind to wander off. It affects my prayers, the intensity and frequency. It affects my outlook towards how I deal with things in my life.
I know God is here. I know He works through all the things that I get frustrated with as well as the things that lift me up. I know He is here, He loves me and He will guide me where He wants me to go if I just have faith and wait to hear Him.
I'm waiting Lord. Use me.
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