Welcome Back Pudge

It was good to see Pudge back with the Rangers. I hope it works out that he can retire here and still be a contributor for a few more years.

It was not good to see the Rangers drop that game last night. It was shaky Monday night and last night wasn't pretty at all. The Angels are like a runaway steam train and Boston won't play bad forever. Saying all of that, the Rangers are something like 20-12 since the All-Star break so I have no complaints about what is going on. It's fun to be talking about them in August.

I was at the game Monday and Tommy Hunter got a big ovation walking off the field and Neftali Felix got a big ovation coming on the field. How many times have 2 Rangers pitchers been applauded in the same game? Oh yeah...no home runs that night. Wacky!
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I just got word that the son of a friend of mine (not local) committed suicide over the weekend. I was talking to someone who had heard and we were discussing how much pain someone has to be in to think that's the only way out. Some people reading this probably know that pain and others don't. I've heard people refer to suicide as selfish, and maybe it is, but I wonder if that person saying that has any clue the misery the other person was going through. Anyway, we were talking about what a blessing it is to have someone you can share your problems with, no matter how painful or bad or scary it might be.

I'm pretty sure that is what God wants for us. I'm pretty sure that is one of the purposes he created the church for. I'm pretty sure that is what disciples do for each other.

I hope I never get another phone call about someone committing suicide (physical or spiritual) because they didn't have someone to help carry their burdens.

Grace and peace to you.

Fill Me Up

For years I have prayed for what I wanted. More recently, I have prayed boldly for what I wanted. I have asked God to do outrageous things and had no concern for the asking but realize my prayers were more about me and less about what an awesome God can do when I stand out of the way. Today, I hope my prayer is even more bold yet very simple.

Lord, you are mightier than I can comprehend. Your love is indescribable and your forgiveness brings me to my knees in tears. I don't fully grasp your love and mercy and grace and compassion but I pray you fill me with it today. Father, forgive me when I put me ahead of you. Today, please use me to be your instrument of peace. Amen.

Grace and peace to you.

Crime and Punishment

Sports radio is wound up today discussing Michael Vick and whether he should be able to play football again. Are you kidding me? I don't condone what he did but people do worse things to harm humanity every day and suffer a slap on the wrist compared with the price Vick has paid. Leave him alone and let him play. Of course, the danger is that we have to go back to looking at ourselves and our warts instead of focusing on those belonging to someone else.
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I'm ready for college football to get rolling. Hook 'em Horns.
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I have said I have no interest in going to JerryWorld but I saw a football lineup on September 5 with 4 high school games that might tempt me to venture out to his ego-plex.
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The Little League World Series started last night with 2 Texas teams playing but I missed it (pulling weeds and getting thorns in my hands instead - yippee!). This is one of the sporting events I really enjoy watching because the kids are playing for the love of the game. I'm not sure about some of the coaches but the kids are fun to watch.
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The Rangers and Red Sox this weekend. It should be a fun series to watch although Youkilis will be out which takes some good hitting out of Boston's lineup. Have you noticed the Rangers are still in the playoff mix and pitching is what is carrying them?

I had to take some time off from going to the game because of my world travels but I go back to the ballpark on Monday and can't wait. I have learned to love the game and being at a baseball field gives me a sense of peace as I step out of the hustle and bustle of life.
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Have a good weekend.

Grace and peace to you.

What? When? Where?

What did God prepare me to do? Ephesians 2 says I am God's handiwork and He has prepared something in advance for me to do. What is it? Will I know when the time comes? Have I missed it? Is it for the spiritual battles I'm fighting now and/or battles to come?

I think most people want to know what their purpose is. Some give up and drift along while others jump from one thing to the next desperately searching everywhere for theirs. I have been at both extremes at one time or another but I have finally gotten comfortable waiting for the time and purpose to come to me. I can plan all I want to but there are so many variables that it becomes impossible to follow the plan to the letter. I can shut my eyes and ignore what is going on and my time can go by...or go by over and over again.

Now, I want to be prepared to act on the opportunities and to overcome the obstacles that come my way but I will wait on God to lead me to my opportunities and to guide me over my obstacles. I want neither to ignore nor shirk my responsibilities, only to rest in the Lord until it is time to act in the capacity He has planned for me.

Ignoring my path leaves me empty. Creating my path leaves me worn out. Walking with God along my path has brought me peace I never imagined.

Grace and peace to you.

In The Game

I recently heard a great line from a preacher. He set it up by asking "How many more Beth Moore studies do we need to have, how many more men's prayer and fellowship meetings do we need to have?" Then he drops the line...

"When are we going to put down the playbooks and start running the plays?"

It's a great question. I have been guilty of being willing to study what I need to do but not getting on the playing field to do it. I have been guilty of telling myself I need to have it all perfect in my head before I can go execute it and have let that stop me from doing much at all. When will I put down the playbook and start running the plays?

I think I've come a long ways in that regard and pray that God continues to lead me onto the field to run his plays. Gear Up! was all about running the plays and a lot of Christians got on the field to play.

I thank God for giving me the playbook so I can prepare (and I certainly need to continue studying the plays) but my prayer today is that God will put me in the game and let me play.

Grace and peace to you.

Gear Up!

We had the most exciting day at church on Sunday. Instead of doing a traditional VBS this year, some sharp minds mixed with Jesus' example of serving others and created "Gear Up!" where our church would offer free backpacks and school supplies to some needy folks in Wise County. We had 400 backpacks ready to go and planned to give 100 rainchecks out if needed. We had 1,000 hot dogs ready, puppets, crafts, singing, free haircuts, dental supplies, a notary and immunizations for school kids and 130 or so volunteers ready to do whatever was needed.

From what I have heard, we gave away all the backpacks and 272 rainchecks. The 1,000 dogs were gone and I don't think any of the volunteers ate any so it was all people who came for the event. I think there were 5 or 6 hair cutting stations that stayed busy for 3 hours. Anywhere from 800 to 1,200 people passed through. What an afternoon!

I know we helped some people financially. I hope we touched some people spiritually. I'm convinced 130+ volunteers went home thankful to be able to give a little to those in need. I believe God was glorified yesterday and seeds were planted. I pray fruit will be borne, that hearts will be changed and that those of us who served will seek more opportunities to keep serving.

I'm thankful for the people who came up with the great idea. I'm thankful for those in need who came. I'm thankful that God was a part of an incredible time of service.

Grace and peace to you.

Josh and The Brothers

I am a Josh Hamilton fan. He has overcome battles many of us would never understand and has returned to the national stage of baseball proclaiming that the love of Jesus is what brought him back from the depths of evil.

This weekend, I started hearing the reports of photos on the Internet of Hamilton doing things he shouldn't be doing and couldn't help but wonder if it was true or just someone trying to cause trouble.

Sure enough, he admits it was him and goes on to tell how he notified his wife and his employer as soon as it happened. In my mind, that is the sign of a person who knows what it is to live in the shame of sin and the freedom brought on by knowing his forgiveness from God is secure. Not only that, he is also forgiven and supported by the people who could easily tear him apart. That is God working in the hearts of people.

A brother took what his father gave him and went out into the world to live the worldly life, losing everything. He came back to his father wanting only to be treated like a hired hand but the father threw a feast. We are not told the father set him down and scolded him. We are not told the father made the son earn his trust over time. We are not told the father kept a wary eye on him waiting to catch him do something wrong.

Jesus tells us in Luke that the father ran to him! The father didn't even wait for the son to come to him, tail between his legs groveling for forgiveness. The father ran to meet him. Wow. How many times have I run to someone who has hurt me when I knew they were sorry for it? But that's not all, he also threw a feast! Even more, he put a robe on the son's back, a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. (There is symbolism in all those things that make it more special than a casual reading can do justice but I won't go there now.)

Then there's the older brother. Disappointed. Chastising. Self-righteous.

When you see someone like Hamilton mess up, do you connect more with the returning brother or the self-righteous brother? Do you understand the shame of sin or do you revel in the fact you haven't done anything that bad? When someone treats you like Hamilton treated those who trusted him, do you connect more with the father or the self-righteous brother? Do you run to grant them forgiveness then lift them up like royalty or do you stand in the back wondering why they should get so much attention and such mercy? I know who I want to connect with from this day on.

Hamilton messed up (raise your hand if you haven't), Hamilton hurt people close to him (raise your hand if you haven't), Hamilton gave in to the evil side of the spiritual battle (raise your hand if you haven't) but...this is BIG...but the Father is throwing a party that Hamilton came home humbled and saddened by his failing. The Father won't bring it up again, won't hold it over his head, won't make him wait for complete forgiveness and unconditional love.

How will we react to the Josh Hamilton's in our life?

Interesting sidenote...C. J. Wilson, a pitcher on the team, put this on Twitter..."I'll only say this once about Josh so listen up- he's a bigger man than anyone I know. Who else can admit EVERY mistake they've ever made?" I don't know if Wilson is a Christian but do you think Hamilton's actions are making an impact on him?

Grace and peace to you.

Home At Last

It's been a long but fruitful week. I have been uplifted by spending time with the church in Aracaju and seeing and hearing their love for the Lord and their passion for reaching the lost. It is something they not only talk about, they do it. It's incredible to hear them and watch them, to see the way they interact and to hear about the things they are doing to reach others.

One of the small groups there has already baptized 5 people from their neighborhood. One member is converting his farm to a rehabilitation facility for alcohol and drug addictions. There are others who are having Bible studies with people they work with. The next step is helping the church mature. It is filled with young Christians and few people willing to work in leadership roles but it is growing. Two young couples have moved to Aracaju in the past 2 years who have been in the church most of their lives and they are doing some good things to get people involved and growing.

It was a LONG trip back. 24 1/2 hours from the time I woke up Thursday morning until I got home Friday morning. 12 hours sleep in the last 3 days. Not a perfect way to live but I've been running on adrenaline. Hopefully I will get to sleep some today (if the roofers aren't too loud) and begin getting back in the groove tomorrow and working with the missionary in Aracaju to continue building the kingdom there.

I thank God for the opportunity to share in this work and to see the fruit of evangelism. He is SO good.

Grace and peace to you.

A Million Miles Away

There are times when I feel so disconnected from things of life, from people, from tasks, from God. I feel like I am a million miles away, floating, sometimes coming nearer and sometimes drifting further away. It's not a feeling I enjoy because I want to be connected but something is happening that prevents it. I don't like the feeling of being a million miles away but it's not always in my control.

I have felt that disconnect with the people closest to me at times and it takes me through a gamut of emotions but most of all, it is a feeling of sadness and loneliness. I have felt that disconnect with God too and it brings out the same emotions. While it is not a pleasant experience, one thing I do know is that there is always hope of reconnecting, of traveling through time and space, of overcoming obstacles and being with who I had felt separated from. There is always hope.

One of the joys I have experienced this week is sharing time with people who are very connected to God and their connectedness is contagious. Their heart and desire to serve God is evident in their words and their expressions and the joy they bring in telling you some of the great things they are experiencing through their service to God. Some of it brings chills because their excitement gets me excited.

I want to be connected with the people I love and I want to be connected with God - plugged into His plan for me. It's a wonderful feeling to share hope with loved ones and it's a wonderful thing to bask in the hope we are given as children of God.

Grace and peace to you.

What About Me?

I recently read a passage in Oswald Chamber's "My Utmost for His Highest" that rang true for me. Chambers said that we too often get caught up in serving God so much that we fail to seek God's will for our lives. He goes on to say that one of the greatest dangers in our relationship with God can be our service because we put what we are doing ahead of what God wants done.

Our society is one of getting ahead. We are told it is important to strive to be first team and first chair; to strive to be in the top 10%, the top of the class, to climb the corporate ladder. There are seminars and books and all sorts of efforts to study leadership even going so far that someone wrote a book titled Jesus, CEO. We plan and execute strategy and work to do more and more and more.

Christ didn't call us to lead, he called us to serve. Maybe we should be studying servanthood instead of leadership. Maybe we should study Mother Teresa instead of Patton; instead of "Jesus, CEO" we should be reading "Jesus, the one who went so far to serve us that He suffered more than we can know because that is what God called Him to do and He came back to life because that is how good God is to those who love Him and do His will."

God, help me when I try to serve you without seeking you first. Help me remember that the greatest example of who I should be gave His life and went through excruciating pain and agony to make my path better and my future brighter than anything I can do or imagine. Allow me to glorify you even when it's not easy or convenient or pretty. Allow me to glorify you when I go through pain and turmoil and help me remember that in the times I think you have abandoned me, you are there with me. Use me God. Set me on your path and allow me to do your will.

Grace and peace to you.

Low Brain Activity This Morning

I love the book of Philippians.

The Rangers are playing great. The Angels are in another world. Can someone put some sort of voodoo curse on them for a little while?

It's still pitching that's getting the job done and Josh Hamilton can't hit the side of a barn. What's up with that?

I saw some video yesterday of a wedding where the wedding party is dancing down the aisle. The whole time I'm thinking, "these folks don't have great rhythm." It looked like they had fun though.

Just heard an old clip from Seinfeld where George is telling Jerry he wants to get a job in professional baseball. Funny but I wonder how many people have that same conversation thinking they could do some of the jobs better than the people in baseball doing those jobs.

Hosea's story boggles my mind.

Grace and peace to you.

Heaven

Last week I mentioned something about being ready for heaven and then heard a song on my iPod over the weekend that got me thinking about it again. The song titled Heaven sung by Los Lonely Boys (it's a band of 3 brothers and I think one of them wrote the song) speaks to me.

Save me from this prison
Lord help me get away
Cause only you can save me now
From this misery
Cause I've been lost in my own place
And I'm getting' weary
How far is heaven
And I know I need to change
My ways of livin'
How far is heaven, Lord can you tell me

Cause I've been locked up way too long
In this crazy world, how far is heaven
I just keep on prayin' Lord
Just keep on livin', how far is heaven
Lord can you tell me, how far is heaven
I just got to know how far, how far is heaven
Lord can you tell me

Tu que estas en alto cielo,
Echame tu bendiciòn
[translated from Spanish]
[You that's in a higher place
Send me down a blessing]

Cause I know there's a better place
Than this place I'm livin', how far is heaven
So I just got to show some faith
And just keep on giving, how far is heaven
Lord can you tell me, how far is heaven
I just wanna know how far, how far is heaven,
Lord can you tell me, how far is heaven,
'cause I just gotta know how far,
I just wanna know far

I, too, want to know how far heaven is but it's not my place to know. In the meantime, my prayer is that God will use me to do His will; that He will use me when I'm strong to reach those who are hurting and that He will use me when I'm weak so I will remember that He is strong. I pray that He will use me to see with His eyes and to serve with His hands. I pray that He will use me to bring hope to those who feel lost and that He will use me to rejoice with those who have found Him.

I look forward to the glory of being with my Lord but wanted to be His instrument until that time.

Grace and peace to you.

End of Week

It's been a crazy week with a baseball tournament going on and me coming and going from the office and working late to keep up. Fun, but crazy.

One of the things I cherish is time spent in Aracaju, Brazil with people who truly know the Lord God. It is always uplifting and encouraging to be with them and I will get the opportunity soon. It will be a blessing for me and I hope I can help them grow stronger in their walk with God.

I think I've mentioned that I have a copy of My Utmost For His Highest written by Oswald Chambers. It's an incredible book of thoughts and devotional ideas and, often, I feel like he knows me when he is writing. There are days that I have to read over and over because his words lead me closer to God each time I read them. I had the book for 2-3 years before I picked it up. I probably wasn't ready to understand the depth of Chamber's writing or the impact it would have on my relationship with God when I got it but I was led back to it at the right time. Powerful.

I'm working with some staff at work on how we see each other and how we treat each other in the hopes of continually going deeper to work on ourselves in an effort to make others better. It's incredible to hear the comments and see the changes as people take on responsibility for choosing how they will treat people and I'm thankful I work in an environment where I can invoke Christ as the example. So many places would limit or condemn the use of Christ and I am more than fortunate to be in a place where that is not the case.

I hope today I can be a living, breathing example of Christ-likeness.

Grace and peace to you.

Middle of the Week

I remember when I used to look forward to Wednesday because the week was half-over. A friend commented the other day that he had hit the "hump day" of life meaning he reached the age he felt like it was half-over. It made me start thinking about what I will do with the latter half.
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I've heard a lot of Michael Jackson music lately. It keeps taking me back to images of high school. I remember taking Keith Dixon home from basketball practice. Keith (a black guy) always thought it was funny I (a white guy) was jamming to Michael Jackson with my stereo on steroids in my truck.

I talked to my Mom on the phone the other day and she told me Keith has died recently.
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I'm really not on some morbid, end-of-life kick today. Just a couple of things that popped into my mind.
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Joe Gibbs was just on ESPN and I only heard snippets but he was talking about some Bible scholar he's talking to who is giving him ideas of what heaven will be like. I don't know (although Rick did a great job with some sermons on it recently) what it will be like exactly but know this - there won't be pain but absolute joy. There won't be hatred or bitterness or anger - just absolute, unconditional love. There won't be cares and issues with Osama or Obama or Democrats or Republicans, no Baptists or Church of Christ'ers, no yankees or rednecks - there will be God, a majestic and perfect ruler, celebrating with His children who have come home - their only label being "saved by Christ."

I look forward to that day and hope it comes sooner rather than later.

Grace and peace to you.

Welcome Home

I had a wonderful week in Colorado. I didn't catch as many fish as usual but caught enough to enjoy myself and the biggest one of the week was the last one I caught so it ended well. It was a good time with God's creation and time spent with family and I'm thankful for the opportunity to take some time away and relax. I think 3 more weeks of it and I would be alright!

I love waking up on July days and seeing the back porch wet from rain.
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It was an interesting week. I was reminded of the story of Abraham and Sarah and how God had them wait to fulfill His promise to them. They took things into their own hands and it led to battles that still exist today but God's plan was good and perfect.

How many times do I get tired of waiting for God? How many times have I taken things into my own hands only to find my ideas weren't so great?

My prayer today is that I will learn to wait and that I will wait with joy and peace in knowing that God will deliver.

Grace and peace to you.

This Is It For Awhile

Another blogging holiday of sorts. I'm going to be out more than in over the next couple of weeks so posts will be sporadic at best. I hope to come back somewhat rested, more relaxed and ever closer to my Lord.
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Did anyone stay up with the Rangers last night? I dropped out in the 8th inning but woke up to find they had won and are tied for 1st place again. I also heard Chris Davis was 3-for-4 at one point in his AAA game last night.
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Do you ever read scripture that haunts you, that stays in the back of your mind interjecting itself in your thoughts periodically? I've got a few of those and one that I juggle constantly is Acts 2:42-47. I wonder what that would/should look like today. Is it a picture of me running from here to there with all my busyness and periodically saying a good word to someone or doing something for someone every now and then. Is it a picture of a nicer house, a nicer car, more gadgets?

It haunts me because I wonder what those verses mean for me, what are they telling me, where are they leading me, what are the things I need to be doing differently?

I'm afraid many in this country have thought it was a favored nation because we were prosperous. Is there any chance prosperity comes from satan? Is there any chance the good things we can afford or not always, if ever, from God but from one who wants to occupy our time, our money, our hearts?

God loves me and He gave me all I needed long, long ago. What I needed lived and hung on a cross and died and walked out of a tomb. What I needed...what God wants me to have is the hope and promise that only Jesus provides.

Grace and peace to you.

Give Me Your Eyes...

How do we see people? Today is the memorial circus for Michael Jackson and we will be bombarded with more stories of how people will remember him, either the rascal or the entertainer. How do people see him? How will he be remembered? I turned on ESPN this morning and the first story was Steve McNair, recently shot and killed allegedly with by his girlfriend. It was followed with former coaches and teammates talking about how they will remember him.

Two guys who have died and are having their legacy discussed in the media. Two guys who certainly made mistakes and took some wrong paths. Two guys who did a lot of good things and helped people in various ways. Two guys who, except for their fame, aren't much different than the rest of us. How do we see them? How will we talk about them?

I read The Shack recently and what the book gave me was the idea, the question, of how I will see people. Do I see them through my experience, through my idea of justice, through my idea of right and wrong or will I see them through the eyes of their Maker and Creator, of their Father who is also my Father?

I walk through Wally World and see People and National Enquirer magazines with all the latest scoops (and a little dirt) or get snippets of the latest rumor about people on the Internet - how do I see them? With my eyes or God's eyes?

Brandon Heath sings a song that speaks to me. The chorus goes like this:
Give me your eyes for just one second
Give me your eyes so I can see
Everything that I keep missing
Give me your love for humanity
Give me your arms for the broken hearted
Ones that are far beyond my reach.
Give me your heart for the ones forgotten
Give me your eyes so I can see

I want to see people through God's eyes. I will see them differently.
I want to see people through God's love. I will feel differently about them.
I want to see people through God's heart. I will have more compassion.

God, give me your eyes, your love and your heart for people.

Grace and peace to you.

Monday Replay

Does it seem like Monday gets here faster than any other day of the week?

July 4th came and went uneventfully. No fires, no one lost an eye. I think I saw more fireworks than ever before though. Out driving Saturday night, they were going off everywhere. Big ones.

I appreciate the country I live in and am thankful for what I have. The freedoms we do have are a gift from the sweat and blood many have poured out for us.

As thankful as I am for this freedom I have, there is a greater freedom for me to grab hold of. I still get too many emails trying to link my freedom through Christ with the country I live in. I heard a question yesterday that had me thinking - does God love Americans more than Brazilians? more than Russians? Does God love Americans more than He loves Muslims? Does He love me more than He loves Osama Bin Laden? I don't think so.

We Americans need to remember living in this country doesn't give us greater favor in Heaven. Satan is an equal opportunity killer and his desire to rob our souls is no different than his desire to rob the soul of a terrorist. He gives them the desire to kill and has them think it is in the name of God. He gives us the desire to feel pride, maybe arrogance, and to feel safe in our prosperity and some try to tie it to a "Christian nation."

I won't be surprised to see a day when our prosperity ends and our freedoms fade in this country but no one can take away the freedom I have in God - the freedom to love, to give, to share, to be gracious and merciful - those freedoms are mine forever. The sweat and the blood have been given for me and the cross is my constant reminder that I have a freedom that far exceeds anything I can know because I'm an American.

Grace and peace to you.

Don't Start A Fire

The 4th invokes so many thoughts and feelings for people because of all that it represents. While this is a great opportunity for a stirring, patriotic moment, the 4th always takes me back to a Sunday lunch when my grandmother kept telling me about a fire someone started years earlier shooting off fireworks. The conversation came up because I was going, that night, to shoot fireworks with a friend. We would be out in the country shooting them over a clay ravine. No hint of potential fire.

We were having a blast and everything was great with only one misfire - a bottlerocket that flew off behind us. Weird but everything seemed OK and we kept firing away. It was a few minutes later when my friend yelled "FIRE!" I turned around, saw a fire, turned back around to light another bottlerocket when realization clicked in. Yep, that was a fire. Our little misfired bottlerocket had gone behind us into a pile of dead pine needles. At this point the fire was a good 8 feet across and growing...growing towards the house of the brother of my friend who was out of town.

I'll spare you all the crazy details (I learned what a party line phone was that night) but the fire was eventually put out with the help of the fire department who got there more than an hour after we had been fighting to contain it on our own.

If you are shooting fireworks this weekend...don't start a fire. Take some time to remember what we celebrate and be safe.

Grace and peace to you.

I'm Loving This Cool Weather

Whatever. I'm not sure it will ever be cool again.

Hammerin' Hank hit a 2 run walk off homerun last night and the Rangers beat the Angels 9-7. Francisco doesn't look like he's ready to resume the closer role just yet but the bats are coming alive and the Rangers just took 2 out of 3 with the division leaders.
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Do you ever notice Satan blinding you to your own problems? Do you ever notice Satan blinding someone else from their own problems. I think most of us would fit in the second category more than the first because that's what Satan wants to do - get our focus on someone else and their problems.

I want to let God be in control of what I see, not Satan, and I want Him to make me aware of my shortcomings because doing so will draw me closer to Him who can give me the strength to win.

How focused can people be on Michael Jackson, Governor Sanford, Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson or even where the Rangers are in the standings and never examine their own lives? I don't want to live in that world and be caught up in the things that don't really matter. I want to know and see the battle I am engaged in and be focused to fight that battle through the power of my Lord.

Grace and peace to you.

It's a Tuesday

Yes, I do know my days of the week and the Rangers lost again. I listened to some of the post-game radio show and there are calls to hire a new hitting coach. People are so reactive at times. There are times when nothing but time will fix things. The hitting coach has been regarded as a guru for years and players who are suffering at the plate want to come to him to find what they have lost. Just because not everyone finds it at once, on the same pace, at the same time, others want to denounce the guy who can help them the most? Crazy.
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We had a bit of a cold front yesterday and I actually saw a temperature of 77 and felt a few rain drops. Woohoo! Do you ever wonder why God doesn't set the thermostat at 75 degrees around the world and leave it there?
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One of the best things in my life are people who will talk to me about what they believe and what I believe, share our agreements and differences, challenge each other to think and examine our beliefs more and do it with mutual respect and love for each other. It's a beautiful gift.

It's a Monday

I can't get going this morning.

I've wondered while watching all the Michael Jackson hoopla and Iran protests on TV what it would have been like if there was TV back in Jesus' day.

I enjoyed it while the Rangers were on top. Now I'm left to wonder what the rest of the season will be like. The past few years, the Rangers have started off horribly and finished strong. Maybe they are in a collective slump and will still finish strong and be in the playoff hunt.

I am a little concerned with all the trade talk. I don't think they are in a position to contend for a World Series spot this year so why trade the prized farm system they keep talking about. Play the string out and see what the young guys can do unless we can get a great deal.

The Angels are coming to town. We want learn everything over the next 3 games but we may learn about the heart of the team. I'll be watching.

I wonder how much more attention Farrah Fawcett's death would have received if Michael Jackson hadn't died the same day.

I love to grill but it's weird thinking about starting a fire when it's 108 degrees outside.

We've started a class at church titled "What Is Truth?" Pilate asks Jesus that question and then walks away. Why wouldn't he stay for an answer? We're just a few classes in but I'm interested to see where it goes. I keep asking myself what we have done to truth over the years. Have we really upheld truth or have we mutated it to fit our desires, have we legalized it thinking it would make it easier to follow? Have we stayed true to exactly what Jesus taught? Questions that I don't have all the answer to.

I know this...God loves me deeply and He loves you the same way. He paid an incredible price for me and for you because He loves each of us so much. That is truth.

Grace and peace to you.

Being Clear

It's hard in a short blog to always cover all the bases but I want to add a little bit more to my last two posts.

The finger I am pointing is pointing square at me. It's not pointing at my current church or past churches I have attended. It's not pointing at the church across the street or around the corner. Just at me.

Maybe there's a better way to phrase "my church experience" but it's all I came up with . Anyway, it's MY experience and it's MY heart that has needed changing all along. I will say if you felt your toes were getting stepped on you may want to examine your own heart but please do not think I was talking about you or anyone else.

I am growing and experiencing a new relationship with God and through that my eyes are opening to all sorts of things. My church experience was a part of that. Do I think there are lots of people out there who were like me? Sure. I am trying to point out their issues? NO. Just mine.

I have learned that my view is shaped in great part by my heart relationship with God. I'm sharing some of what I'm learning because a) it is part of my healing and b) it may help someone else who has traveled the same or similar paths to mine.

Please know and believe my desire is to build up the kingdom. I believe God is a perfect God and I believe His ways and His desires are perfect.

I love God and shout hallelujah that I am His.

Grace and peace to you.

The Other Side of the Coin

I beat up on my church experience yesterday but I don't want to leave the story there because it's not complete. The crazy thing about a church is that it will not be perfect. It's made up of people who, though made in God's image, are sinful. I think God knew this was going to happen but it didn't stop Him from creating the church.

When I was a teenager, I was at a friend's lakehouse and his dad told me "I can find God out here easier than I can at church." At the time, I didn't know what to say and, even today, I'm not sure I can give a good response to him because it's not about the church but his heart. Christ established the church with Peter. In Matthew 16, ¹⁷Jesus replied, "Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah, for this was not revealed to you by man, but by my Father in heaven. ¹⁸And I tell you that you are Peter,^a]">[a] and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades^b]">[b] will not overcome it.^c]">[c] ¹⁹I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be^d]">[d] bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be^e]">[e] loosed in heaven."

Jesus said this to Peter, the same Peter who would later vehemently deny he knew the Christ, Peter the fiery cut-off-someone's-ear guy. Hmmm. Maybe, just maybe, even Jesus knew things wouldn't always run perfectly in the church because Jesus says "on this rock I will build my church" and surely He knew what Peter would later do. Should we think He expects we will be better than that?

What I have found at my church are some people who love the Lord our God deeply and intimately. I have found some people who will carry each other's burdens an extra mile. I have found people who love unconditionally, who bear with each other, who endure with each other and who believe in each other. I have found people who come together on Sunday morning to worship, fall at the feet of and give praise to the Lord.

For all the imperfections that exist, there is also something perfect in the church - the desire of God for us to come together and it is in that perfection that I have grown to love my church and look forward to the times we are together in worship and in fellowship.

Grace and peace to you.

Where Did It Change?

I'm part of a theological movement often referred to as the Restoration Movement - the idea being to restore the 1st century church. I think it's a great idea but as I look at my church experience, I don't think I see things matching up real well.

This from Acts 2:
⁴²They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. ⁴³Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles. ⁴⁴All the believers were together and had everything in common. ⁴⁵Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. ⁴⁶Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, ⁴⁷praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.

I am guilty of participating in being devoted to a lot of things other than the apostles' teaching, fellowship, breaking of bread and prayer, of being together with everything in common, of giving all I have to anyone as they have need, of meeting every day to study.

I am guilty of participating with people in the church who are more concerned about getting to keep all my money because I earned it instead of giving it all away.
I am guilty of participating with people in the church of being more devoted to a certain political groups teachings and fighting the other group instead of focused on the apostles' teaching.
I am guilty of participating with people in church who want to segregate ourselves from other groups because our worship style is different or we want to fight a public battle over our doctrine while the lost stand on the outside wandering what all the fuss is about but knowing they don't want anything to do with it.
I am guilty of participating with people in the church who pass emails around with Congressman explaining why we are a Judeo-Christian nation to build up our country instead of talking to people who don't know Jesus and building up the kingdom.

I'm not saying my church isn't important because it was something established by Christ. I think the church is very important (and I'll have more to say about that another day because we just aren't perfect people, are we?) but I also think our movement has been less about restoring 1st century Christianity than it should be. I think many of us have been misguided and I think there are spiritual forces at work that want to keep it that way - let us fight over music and dress and women's roles and buildings and a 1,000 other things instead of doing what the church in Acts 2 was doing.

I pray for churches that are led by the Spirit and not the desire of men. I pray for churches that are building up the kingdom instead of fighting the battles of egos and politics. I pray for churches that are enjoying the favor of people and enjoying the fruit of the Lord adding to their numbers daily. I am praying that I will begin to look more like a 1st century Christian than I do today.

Grace and peace to you.

The Coming Week

I've got several ideas for posts this week and hope I can get them all done without writing a novel and making sense. I may have to stew on some of them a little longer.

Today, health care seems to be back in the spotlight. I didn't hear all that was said this morning on GMA but know they were talking about the pros and cons of Obama's plan that is coming soon. While government run anything makes me immediately think "FAILURE" I'm also an advocate that our current system doesn't work so well either. Currently, I make 2 house payments each month - one for my house and one for my health plan. It's not a joke, I pay roughly the same amounts for my mortgage and insurance. Does that sound like a good plan? Then, I've got Newt Gingrich as the Republican spokesman for the evils of Obama's plan. A guy who is living off a government paid pension funded my tax dollars, a guy with the best health care available fund funded by my tax dollars and a guy who gets paid millions of dollars to speak while still taking a salary paid for by my tax dollars. Great. What I would like is for my spokesman to be the husband of one of the ladies in my office. She's pregnant and his company just cut health insurance to save money. I think he's got a better grip on reality than Newt for most Americans.

Tell me the government cannot effectively manage a health program and I can't disagree with you. Tell me the plan we have now is good enough and I will disagree with you. Tell me the Republicans have a better alternative and I'll just laugh. Ask me for a solution and I'll tell you I'm as lost as the next person because I don't have the time to invest in it right now. Who does you ask? Unfortunately it's the people who are getting paid by my tax dollars, people who don't live in the real world and who don't seem to really understand the needs of the typical American.
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This is leading me to a place I don't fully understand and reserve the right to change my opinions as I think out loud. For today, I'll simply throw the broad question out of what is the church's role going to be in the future?

Grace and peace to you.

Strength

I talked to a friend yesterday who just quit his job. Yep, just quit. He doesn't have another job lined up. The job he had paid him as much as his previous jobs had paid in 2-3 years. He just quit.

OK, he didn't just walk out. He talked to his boss, the owner of the company, before walking out. They had a talk and then he quit.

Crazy, huh? In this economy, who in their right mind quits his job? And what would possess someone to do something like that?

My friend and his boss, the owner, were interviewing a guy for a position at the company. They had asked if the guy was willing to move and the guy responded to the effect of "yes, my wife and I have been praying about it so that we make the right decision for our family and we think God is leading us to move." At this point, the boss excuses himself to go to the restroom while my friend finished the interview.

After the candidate is gone, my friend finds the boss and asks what he thought. "I left because I'm not hiring another Christian hypocrite around here. I'm not interested." There was more to it than that but you get the idea.

My friend wrestled with it for a few days. He had promised his high school aged daughter he wouldn't move her again. He was making good money. He called someone and they suggested he talk to his daughter and tell her what happened to which she responded, "you can't stay there daddy." So he told his boss how he felt and his boss told him he didn't care. So he quit.

Strength. Not muscles, not force but a strength that comes from a faith I wonder if I would have. Strength that allows him to trust that God will take care of him. Strength.

Grace and peace to you.

Twittering

Technology can bring good and bad to our world. Twitter is one of those things I've been somewhat fascinated by because lots of people use it and it doesn't make the company any money. I guess that's perfect in this economy but it doesn't seem like a long-term solution.

Anyway, Twitter was planning to shut down this weekend for some maintenance and has been asked by the U.S. government to postpone it so protesters in Iran can communicate what is going on using Twitter. The Iranian government has stopped most news outlets from reporting and people are using their cell phones and Twitter to let the world in. Crazy.

I still think Twitter is going to have to find a way to make money.
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If you fly much, or even if you don't, and want to read something fun, google "29E letter" and read the comments from a passenger who was having a bad flight. There is some coarse language so beware but the letter is one of the funniest things I've read. There's a similar letter from a guy flying from Mumbai to Heathrow on Virgin Airways that ranks right there with it. You can find it through google also.
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The Rangers won in extra innings last night. I'm glad we are beating the bad teams but want to see us beat a Boston, New York or Los Angeles Dodger type team before I get too excited about making any trades to make a run this year. There are still too many holes to begin giving up valuable talent in the farm system to hope for a Series this year.

No one from the Rangers has ever asked my opinion.
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Grace and peace.

Shocking (Or Not)

Word out that Sammy Sosa tested positive for steroids in 2003. Really? OK, everyone who is suprised to hear this, raise your left hand. The numbers are skewed and there's no going back so let's move on. No one cared when it was happening - not MLB or the Players Association, not owners, reporters or fans. Now people are outraged? Give it up and move on.
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Obama is proposing several new positions to monitor private industry. It's hilarious to think some government nerd really has a clue what happens in the real world but big business sure seems to have trouble policing itself and it's owners (stockholders) want immediate returns so what does anyone expect but short term thinking and pushing to make numbers look pretty? Anyway, throw the government beauracracy in the mix and prepare for disaster. Not that business managers won't bring disaster on themselves anyway. Remember MCI? Enron? Hundreds of other companies that went belly-up because of bad management and took lots of people down with them?

The danger, to me, is that people begin to focus on the government agencies as the problem when the people running the company are the problem - but make millions and millions and get to walk away financially secure while the line workers lose their retirement.
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That leads me towards another post I'm working on that asks how much we should care and where our focus and efforts should be. Some people will think I have lost my mind...and I couldn't disagree with them.
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Grace and peace to you.

Deep Stuff

Not really any deep stuff here today.

Letterman has apologized to Palin for his jokes. This little explosion, what little attention I've paid to it, simply disgusts me. Letterman's joke was out of line regardless of which daughter he thought was at the ballgame. Plain and simple out of line, inappropriate and crude. He should know better and should have apologized immediately. On the other hand, Palin continues to use it for her political stature. Someone asked me what I would have done had it been my child. I hope I would have been forgiving and merciful and let it go. Does it help the girl that her mother keeps beating the dead horse in the public forum. Surely not. It drags it on and on. I hope Palin apologizes for her actions. She did far more than defend her daughter, she exploited it for her own gain.

This ordeal only brings me back to the way I am trying to see things in my life. Do you really think this was just a bad actor and an overzealous politician...or is it something more, something darker that wants to use just these actions to pull our thoughts away from Christ-like living? I reserve the right to be dead wrong but I tend to see these things as part of the spiritual warfare that is going on around us. Would satan rather us be caught up in a battle between people or service to our Savior? Who looks at Letterman and Palin as simply a late night TV guy and a politician and who sees them as falliable children of the Creator? Does seeing them as children of God, made in His image, susceptible to lure of evil just like me, change the way I feel about them?
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It's this kind of baloney that has pushed me to quit watching the news programs. Local, CNN, Fox...they are in business to sensationalize information so as to get the people watching and listening up in arms. What drives ratings? The crazy and the bizarre.
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If you find yourself looking for stuff in the Bible, try www.biblegateway.com. It's a great tool with a good search function and works similar to a concordance but does even more.

Grace and peace.

Done For The Week

No more posts this week. When I'm done with this one, you will likely I think I was done with posts yesterday.

The Rangers won a 1-0 game last night that was over at 9:45. The Rangers. Yes, a game won with pitching and defense! A Ranger game that took less than 3 hours. A Ranger game won with pitching and defense...did I mention that one already? Who is that team playing in Arlington and what did they do with the guys we are used to watching?

Anyone watching 4th and 1 on SpikeTV? It's Michael Irvin's reality show that started with 6 receivers and 6 defensive backs competing for a spot at Cowboys training camp. I'm pretty sure Jerry is behind it somehow since it's promoting his team but I think I'll be pulling for whoever wins to make the team. So far, all these guys seem happy to have the opportunity. It's Irvin being the taskmaster with Bill Bates as the defensive coach and Joe Avezzano as the offensive coach. Irvin has the line he gives them whenever he cuts one but each guy that got cut is respectful and thankful for the shot.

One of the last things I heard on Good Morning America this morning was that we would all get to hear one of the American Idol people say these 3 words, "I am gay." But GMA isn't about sensationalism. Seriously? Sadly, there are people who will tune in just to hear the big news with some thinking he's the greatest thing since sliced bread for coming out and others who will hate him for it.

I wish GMA would roll the I Am Second lineup of folks out on their stage so they can say those words to the world. Josh Hamilton, Jason Witten, Darren Waltrip, Brian "Head" Welch, Jason Castro and a bunch of others...why not make that the big news?

Whew. Breathe deeply. Calm. Imagine your favorite peaceful place. OK, I'm better now.

I hope you have a wonderful weekend and remember that God loves you tremendously.

Why?

Great Bible verse today. Psalm 46:10.
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Why do tragedies occur? Why do we hurt each other and do things that are so senseless at times? You have probably heard about the white supremacist that entered the Holocaust Museum in Washington, D.C. yesterday and started shooting people because he hates Jews and blacks. I haven't heard the whole story but know he killed at least 1 person.

I don't know that I can fully imagine the evil influence a person is under to want to kill people because of the color of their skin or their religious beliefs. The murderer and his victim were both created in the image of God, yet one of them chose to hate the other.

We are all caught in a spiritual battle. Our feelings may not be the same as the man who decided to kill but the goal of the battle is just the same, to steal our heart and soul from God. My prayer is that we can see our battles and seek God with all of our strength to overcome satan and his evil plans.

Battles

The Rangers aren't surviving their battles against Toronto very well. Last night was so ugly I quit watching it. And Elvis made an error. I think the world's axis must have tilted off course last night.

I love Colossians 3:13. I have appreciated it for a long time but I have learned to love it powerfully the more I have come to know God.

I got an email that asks, "If satan and his demons were having a board meeting about their competition, would your name come up? Would they know you were a threat?" What a great question. How many professing Christians roam the world and pose no threat to satan? I ask because there was a time I was that description fit me well. I hope that's not true today.

More from Os Hillman:
If you are seeking to fully follow the Lord, you can expect harassment from the enemy. God permits temptation because it drives us deeper into the soil of God. These times reveal God's power to keep us and walk us through the temptations. Our message becomes fruitful when it is born out of obedience and suffering for His name. Do not consider it strange if you find yourself fighting major battles the more obedient you become to the Master. God desires each of us to become a feared enemy of hell in order to affect satan's domain. When you begin to feel harassed, chances are you are beginning to affect the kingdom of darkness, and satan doesn't like this. So, how many demons do you think are assigned to you?

I hope I lead a life that disrupts satan's plans and brings the light of God into the world. I'm still traveling a path to a better understanding and knowledge of God, of what the Holy Spirit can and does do in my life but as I walk, I hope my light will begin to shine brighter and brighter to a lost world that is full of satan's work.

Mental Toast

Breathing in dust, grass clippings and other factors are causing me to go into mental shutdown this morning. The yard looks pretty good (thanks to lots of God's watering) but I still have to do the back this evening...meaning more dust, grass clippings...yoweee.

It was a baseball whipping yesterday. Rangers picked up the option on Ron Washington's contract for next year. That's not saying a lot for the Rangers but the first time Ron's had any job security. Josh Hamilton will have surgery. Not good for us Hamilton fans. Brandon McCarthy has a stress fracture in his shoulder and will be out for a month or more. Not good for pitching fans. Frank Francisco is having shoulder trouble again. Not good for those of us who white knuckle the arms of our chair every time C.J. Wilson runs on to the field. The Rangers lost to Toronto last night. They made a good run at it and a Hank Blalock shot last night with Nelson Cruz on deck almost made it really good but, unfortunately, Hank hit it towards centerfield where the very, very capable Vernon Wells hangs out. Wells made the catch and that was that.

The Longhorns beat TCU to earn a spot in the College World Series. I would have loved to see TCU purple in Omaha but not at the expense of burnt orange being there.

That's all for today.

Years Of Frustration

The Rangers go to New York and Boston and leave with a 3 wins and 3 losses record. WOW! For Rangers fans who have suffered through years of bad pitching and bad defense, the start to this season is fun to watch. I bet there are plenty, like me, who keep preparing for the wheels to fall off but I'm not so sure they will. Nelson Cruz, the guy who was out of options, who couldn't get off to a good start at the top level, has gone deep 17 times. Kinsler, Andrus, Young, Davis...strong. Millwood, Feldman, Wonderboy (Holland)...steady. Padilla...a nut job who can pitch pretty well when his head is in the game. This is fun, really fun to watch.
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Have you ever waited on something to happen and thought it never would? Did you get frustrated? Ready to give up? I know I feel that way at times and I wonder if God ever does. For some of us, coming to a true relationship with God has taken a long time with several missteps (to put it kindly) along the way. I wonder if He ever got frustrated? Ever wanted to give up?

Can you imagine hearing God say "(state your name), I'm tired of trying, I'm tired of waiting, I'm frustrated and I'm ready to give up on you." The first time I imagined that question with my name in the blank, it brought me to tears and sent chills down my spine. It still does at times because it's a question I continue to use when I feel myself drifting away from complete trust and faith in God, a trust and faith that He will bring to a place greater than what I am hoping for, greater than I can likely imagine. It doesn't mean the path is all sunshine and roses because there are evil forces along with the way wanting me to quit, to give up. But God is good, He's never given up on me, He never quit trying, He never quit loving me...and He never will.

I still hear the voices and feel the pull to walk away but the question hasn't let me do that. I want to live in the answer, the answer that says "I am with you always..."

The End of The Week

I have a friend who is leaving for a Colorado vacation today. Lucky dog.

That, in itself, pretty well has me shut down from having any other thoughts today.

The only "do what?" thought is that he is going to be camping the whole time. He said he probably spent more on camping equipment than he would have on a nice hotel but he didn't want a TV wherever he was.

I'm not sure the idea of unplugging the TV crossed his mind. Even cutting the power cord off the TV and paying to replace it would be worth it when considering sleeping in a bed or on the ground at our advanced ages.

OK, I'm picking at him because he will spend the next week in Colorado and I won't...but my day is coming quickly!

I hope to be back next week with some better thoughts to go exploring with. Have a great weekend and remember that God loves you and wants you in a relationship with Him that is full of the best He has to offer - amazing grace, incredible love and compassion and a beautiful hope for what lies before us.

Not Much Today

I'm working on thoughts that might make the blog next week. It's kind my mental motor locked down right now.

ESPN's #2 Play of the Day last night - 2 clips of Elvis Andrus making some lights out plays against the Evil Empire. Rangers win! Rangers win!

I wonder what they will do with Vincente Padilla. I can't imagine they will get much for him in a trade but I wonder if they would want much. He's supposed to be the number 2 guy but he's a bit of a head-case. Dump all or most of his salary with the plan to bring in Ben Sheets and pull Perez up from the minors? Is a Blalock for a pitcher trade still in the works? It's going to be an interesting year.

Did you hear about the banker jumping from the 14th floor of a parking garage yesterday? Saw a snippet that the ME ruled he jumped on his own. Tragic. I can only imagine the pain that drove him to do that.

I've only heard snippets about Obama's speech in Egypt yesterday. I wonder how he's been received and I wonder how he's representing the USA. I used to be much more wrapped up in all of that but don't have near the concern or time for it anymore. I'm not too worried about what Obama is going to do because I have come to believe this country has been on a downhill slide for several years and it has little to do with who's in office but everything to do with the condition of the people of this country.

Kids sure spend a lot of time on Facebook while they are in school. Social media is one more avenue that good things can come from but a whole lot of bad things can come from. It's another one of those things that can be neat but we would not be any worse off if it went away.

I upgraded to 5MB Internet service at home. I'm not sure I can tell the difference yet.

I love reading Romans. There's more to learn every time I open it up.

UpWayLate

I was up later than I wanted to be last night and I'm feeling it this morning. I'm wondering if anyone will mind me drinking coffee straight from the coffee pot.

I think the Yankees have the Rangers number. Things looked good with Cruz hit his 3-run homer to put the Rangers ahead 3-2...then the Yankees tacked on 10 runs and it didn't look so good. Thank goodness the Angels were facing Roy Halladay and lost. Maybe tonight will be better for the Rangers but I'm starting to think the pinstripes are the Rangers kryptonite.

Can someone turn the humidity down? Please.

Hope is a wonderful thing. Remaining hopeful seems to lift me up, boosts my spirit, keeps me smiling and singing (at least on the inside). At times, hope seems to wane but my faith in God keeps bringing it back. I thought about how hope works in my life as I read the following from John Eldredge:

If for all practical purposes we believe that this life is our best shot at happiness, if this is as good as it gets, we will live as desperate, demanding, and eventually despairing men and women. We will place on this world a burden it was never intended to bear. We will try to find a way to sneak back into the Garden and when that fails, as it always does, our heart fails as well. If truth be told, most of us live as though this life is our only hope.

In his wonderful book The Eclipse of Heaven, A. J. Conyers put it quite simply: “We live in a world no longer under heaven.” All the crises of the human soul flow from there. All our addictions and depressions, the rage that simmers just beneath the surface of our Christian facade, and the deadness that characterizes so much of our lives has a common root: We think this is as good as it gets. Take away the hope of arrival and our journey becomes the Battan death march. The best human life is unspeakably sad. Even if we manage to escape some of the bigger tragedies (and few of us do), life rarely matches our expectations. When we do get a taste of what we really long for, it never lasts. Every vacation eventually comes to an end. Friends move away. Our careers don’t quite pan out. Sadly, we feel guilty about our disappointment, as though we ought to be more grateful.

Of course we’re disappointed—we’re made for so much more. “He has also set eternity in the hearts” (Eccl. 3:11). Our longing for heaven whispers to us in our disappointments and screams through our agony. “If I find in myself desires which nothing in this world can satisfy,” C. S. Lewis wrote, “the only logical explanation is that I was made for another world.”

(The Sacred Romance , 179–80)

Lots o' Rain

It was pouring down when I took the kids to school. Once I dropped them off and made my way into the office, it stopped. I'm OK with it raining on Mondays and Tuesdays between 8 and 11 in the morning and after 9 at night. I should avoid getting wet and it leaves the weekends open for outside activities. Seems reasonable, doesn't it?
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Rangers play in New York tonight. It would be good to win this series before heading into Boston. If the Rangers come out of this with more wins than losses they have to be considered as a contender. If they don't, it shows there is more work to be done which isn't all bad either. The bullpen still isn't as good as anyone would want it. I'm guessing the coming months will bring a trade for some pitching and the signing of Ben Sheets. If Nefatali Perez is able to come to the bullpen with his 100mph heat, Holland continues to be steady, Feldman continues to improve and Sheets can be a reliable starter...wow. This could be really fun.

Consider that and the idea of Hamilton and Chris Davis hitting like they are capable of and you've got a good mix if everyone can execute. WOW. This could be really fun!
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I'm just a few days reading into Oswald Chamber's My Utmost for His Highest and loving it. It's as if he was writing it just for me and his comments challenge me to go deeper with God and remind me to wait on Him, rely on Him, trust in Him, live for Him.

More 50

The 50th anniversary party for my parents was great. I got to see some old friends I hadn't seen in 20 years and catch up with some of my high school friends. Of course, it wasn't about me but I enjoyed it. It was good to see so many people come, some from far distances, for my parents. It was special to see so many, young and old, come to honor them for 50 years of marriage and for being a part of the lives of so many people.
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The Rangers are still tearing it up. There's still room for some of you nay-sayers to jump on the bandwagon.
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More Oswald Chambers that struck me last week..."We seem to think that God wants us to give up things! God purified Abraham from this error and the same process is at work in our lives. God never tells us to give up things just for the sake of giving them up, but He tells us to give them up for the sake of the only thing worth having, namely, life with Him."

I have struggled with all the stuff I have and all the stuff I do and have, at times, agonized over what it meant for me as a Christian. Over time, I have come to realize that what I have isn't the issue. Instead, the issue is what I willing to give. Am I giving my money? Am I giving my time? Am I giving my heart? As I draw closer to my God, it's easier to understand that He isn't a God desiring to take away but a God desiring to give. If I am going to walk with God, I must be prepared to give and the life and things that I have will take care of themselves.

I am looking forward to finding what God calls me to give and I am looking forward to building my relationship with Him as I learn to be a servant.

50

This weekend, my parents will celebrate 50 years of marriage. It is a great testament to love and devotion and I honor them at this special time. I can only imagine that over 50 years there have been ups-and-downs that they have weathered and enjoyed. I have heard stories of tough times when money was tight. I'm also aware of 18 years of pure bliss - the years I was living at home being a perfect angel.

I am thankful for my parents and thank God for them and all they have taught me and for the love they have given me. On this special weekend, I pray that they feel the love God has for both of them and thank Him for their love for me and so many others that they have touched.

Mom and Dad, thank you for all that you are and all that you do.

The Motions

No need to mention the Rangers today.

I'm still stuck on the song I mentioned a few blogs ago, "The Motions" that Matthew West sings. It keeps me thinking about where I've been and where I hope to go and how different those two episodes of life might look.

I watched a video that struck me the other day too. A speaker was telling the audience that he thought we could see a better idea of what God intended the church to be at an AA meeting than in an institutional church setting. I don't believe I disagree with him. You go to AA because a) a judge has ordered you to or b) you've got some problems you need to find a way to deal with. For those who go because of "b", there are some really honest stories told, some tough thoughts/feelings/actions are opened up and healing can happen. That's what church, the body of Christ, should be because that is what Christ is; the one I should be really honest with, the one I should bear all my ugliness, my hurts, my scars, my sins to and the one who will begin the healing.

I have grown up in churches where I have heard more complaining or gossip about what someone is doing than being aware of people going to help the hurting. I have heard people spend time asking what the one who went forward did or say "what a shame" or "they brought it on themselves" and other things of that nature but did not stop to offer prayers or help or a shoulder to cry on. I wish I could say it was someone else but I am just as guilty.

I don't want the church to be more like AA; I want it to be incomparable to any organization we can imagine. I don't want the church to be a place where brothers and sisters feel safe but a place where brothers and sisters and people dealing with every kind of sin Jesus so their healing can begin. I don't want to be a part of a church that is going through the motions but a church that is the active body of Christ - one that certainly teaches truth, but even more, lives it, exudes it, a church that shows the irresistible nature of the Christ.

The challenge is that it doesn't fall to the Elders or the ministers - it starts with me. What will I do today? How will I show Christ to people today? How will I let people know there is healing for their pain and suffering, that there is grace and peace and salvation in our Lord?

Does God Read Blogs?

At 44 years of age, I realize I just can't stay out as late as I used to. I had the joy of experiencing the Rangers 2 1/2 rain delay last night. We hung on until the 6th inning but had to call it a night which put me to bed way late. I'll be paying for it today but it was great seeing a Rangers win against the Yankees.
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I hope my title isn't taking badly but it's a question I have asked myself several times. Each day, a random verse pops up on my blog and every now and then, when I'm really hitting a low spot of some sort, the verse speaks volumes to me. I have jokingly said God must be reading my blog and giving me the exact scripture I need that day. I like to think there might be a little truth to that but the real story is that the Bible is full of hope and compassion and love and reading a little bit of scripture every day reinforces the real importance of being in God's word all the time. I have read more this year than I have in a long time, maybe ever, and I feel the benefits of the time I spend in how I feel on the inside. It doesn't take away my problems but it gives me so much peace in living through them and helps me remember to trust God - trust that He will carry my load.

God may not read blogs but I am reminded over and over how important it is for me to read God's words. My words might bring a laugh or a tear but His words bring life.

Hard Things

The Rangers loss yesterday...that was a hard thing in a relatively insignificant way. It was hard to watch for a fan but not such a big deal in considering all that is happening in the world.

I was forwarded a video by a missionary friend of mine that is a hard thing to watch. The closer I get to God, the harder this type of video is to watch. Not hard in a sad or disgusting way but hard in that it turns my stomach that people live in the condition they do. At the same time, their thankfulness for scraps speaks volumes about the lives that most of us live. If you've got about 6 minutes, watch this: http://www.cultureunplugged.com/play/1081/Chicken-a-la-Carte

Going Through The Motions

Having a rough day? Read this http://www.space.com/missionlaunches/090520-space-urine.html then enjoy a nice, refreshing glass of water and relax.
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A song I keep playing over and over lately is "The Motions" by Matthew West. If you haven't heard it, go to YouTube and search for Matthew West The Motions and you'll find a couple of videos to watch. Basically, the song is about a person not wanting to just go through the motions but to find the true passion that God can give us. For me, it's a song with words that are powerful.

For so long, I have heard the alarm, got in the shower, took the kids to school, went to work, ate lunch, went back to work, go home, eat, go to baseball practice/church/volunteer activity, go home, watch TV, go to sleep, heard the alarm, got in the shower...you get the idea. Coming to really experience God has given me a better vision of what God sees and what I can be doing to help someone, to live with more joy in my future and more joy in knowing God.

At 44, my life is likely half over and I do not want to spend the last half just going through the motions. I want to live in the freedom and joy and jubilation that comes through a relationship with God and I want to spend my days looking for the ways He wants me to serve and help and love. With God, the simplest of things seem bigger and the biggest challenges seem easier. Going through the motions makes the simplest of things seem a burden and the biggest challenges appear impossible. I want to go with God, to revel in His love, to share His mercy and grace and compassion and hope.

I hope your day is filled with the peace that can only come from God.

A Beautiful Lunch

How fast can the Rangers get out of Detroit? It's not fast enough.
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Yesterday's lunch was refreshing. Beautiful. Peaceful. It started with 3 tacos to go from Primo's. I love the pork tacos with cilantro, onions and lime juice. They are tasty with great flavors but I digress. While I did enjoy the food, I snuck off to a secluded spot, sat at a picnic table under a giant shade tree and ate while seeing the beauty of God's creation and listened to the birds sing. After the feast, I opened up My Utmost for His Highest written by Oswald Chambers. A sister-in-law gave it to me about 3 years ago but my heart is only now prepared for some of the thoughts Chambers expresses in his writing. Below is a portion of what I read yesterday that resonated with me.

Once we get intimate with Jesus we are never lonely and we never lack for understanding or compassion. We can continually pour out our hearts to Him without being perceived as overly emotional or pitiful. The Christian who is truly intimate with Jesus will never draw attention to himself but will only show the evidence of a life where Jesus in completely in control. This is the outcome of allowing Jesus to satisfy every area o life to its depth. The picture resulting from such a life is that of the strong, calm balance that our Lord gives to those who are intimate with Him.

Lord, take me there. Keep drawing me closer to you and help me to live in your goodness.

A Crazy World

Newt Gringrich is calling for Nancy Pelosi to resign. Politics are crazy and while I am no fan of Pelosi and think we would be better off without her as Speaker of the House, I'm no longer in touch with all the happenings to make that call other than personal preference. It sure seems like she has thrown herself into hot water with her comments about the CIA and I applaud Leon Panetta, a Democrat lifer, for speaking up for the CIA. It's just another circus we will sit back and watch.
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The Rangers lost and, worse, can't seem to win in Detroit. I think they are 0-9 at Comerica Park. Hamilton's hurt again but hopefully will be back tonight and maybe the Rangers will break the jinx and get back to winning. I like it when they win 7 in a row more than when they lose 1.
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I've seen a few interviews with Toby Slough, the pastor of Cross Timbers Community Church in Argyle, on local and national news lately because of the amount of money they have given away in the past few months to people in need. I think it's great to hear these stories, especially one so close to us, instead of all the gloom and doom we seem to hear and I think it's great for a church family to get recognized for their good works even thought that's not the reason they do it. Praise God for what He is doing through people who love Him.

I've Really Got To Stop

OK, there was Chris Davis' walk off homer and then Josh Hamilton makes another (painfully) incredible catch climbing halfway up the wall in right-center field. That's after he made a great throw from center field to throw out a runner at home the night before. Great pitching and some really, really good defense and hits at the right time. 121 more wins and they clinch the West. OK, OK, I shouldn't get ahead of myself. The Yankees are coming up soon and some games against East division teams will show us more but it's been REAL fun so far being a Rangers fan.
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I got to hear another great sermon yesterday focused around the story of the good Samaritan. It's a story I've heard hundreds of times but as my walk takes me closer to God, the story takes on new significance and new understanding. As I have learned to look at people with God's eyes (a weak imitation but getting better), I have come to experience people in such a different light. Things that used to make me mad, irritated, turned off, resentful, judgmental...now I spend time wondering how to help them see the light of God, see the joy that I am seeing in being His child and living in His love.

God, give me your eyes so I can see like you and give me your heart so I can love like you.

Back-to-Back

I should leave the Rangers alone for awhile but yesterday's walk-off 2 run homer was sweet. Chris Davis, Longview native, hit a big blast when they needed it. Don't let the fact that he is on pace to set the strikeout record interfere with what he did yesterday. Lights out. Now, the 2nd place Angels come to town.
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I feel sorry for the Chrysler dealerships that got "the letter" yesterday. Chrysler is rolling up dealerships, putting some out of business so that others may thrive. I guess dealers know that Chrysler has that power but I always hate to hear when the bad news is delivered through a letter filled with corporate-ese.

GM is doing it today.
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One of the incredible experiences of being on a journey with God is exploring where he wants you to go. I have experienced some radical changes in my thought processes of what it means to be a Christ-follower. I see baptism in a whole new light - much deeper, richer and more meaningful experience than I ever imagined it to be. I see church attendance in a whole new light - not as a regulation but as a place of peace in the presence of God. These are just a couple of examples of things I have grown up with thinking I understood but figuring out I never really went very far with them. I have heard the battles over grace versus works and used to try to have some intellectual answer to the question. How silly I was. I am coming to see that these and many other subjects similar are not matters of interpretation or research as much as they are matters of the heart and my hearts desire for God.

I may never enter in to another conversation about baptism being essential because if a true heart for God doesn't lead someone into the waters, my reasoning will not be adequate for what they can experience. I may never enter in to another conversation about what "forsaking the assembly" means because a true heart for God will draw you into worship. Going to church because you are supposed to go to church can actually be damaging in the search for God. And grace versus works? Wow. How can 2 things that create incredible synergy ever be opposed to each other. When someone truly experiences grace, the desire to work will burn within them. I venture to say the person who does not have a desire to serve God in any way possible may not yet have experienced the incredible power of His grace.

I say all of this from my own experience, not some idea that I have it all figured out because I am still on a journey to truly know my Lord. It is incredible. It is filled with new insights every day. It is filled with tears and joy and shivers that run down my spine and peace...a perfect peace that He is in control, that He will lead me where He wants me to be, that He will protect me, encourage me and love me no matter what. It's a journey I am treasuring every minute of - good and bad - because it is pulling my heart closer to my Creator, my Savior, my Lord.

Repeat

Maybe I'm being repetitive but I'm enjoying the Rangers right now. If you didn't stay up to watch the end of last night's game, you missed a great finish. Offense won the game in the 11th inning but decent pitching and defense kept them in the game. A win today is important because it will lead to the 2nd place Angels coming to town for a weekend series. Go Rangers!
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I got to hear a presentation from a friend last Sunday on a recent trip to Ecuador. I think we forget, or maybe don't understand, the conditions that so many people live in around the world. He told us about two children found living on the streets. The brother was out rounding up rotten fruit or whatever he could find to feed his sister and all they had was the rags they wore as clothes. The were brought to an orphanage and for 60 days, they had to take treatments to kill the worms in their stomachs. I can't remember their age but I'm pretty sure they were around 5 and 3 years old at the time. He told us about a boy who came to the orphanage who had been living in a pig sty. He didn't know his name or how old he was so they let him pick his own name. They found out his mother was a prostitute who had left him on the streets to die.

We have our own sad stories too. Kids who have so much that they turn to drugs for excitement and end up overdosing or landing in jail. People who turn to alcohol or other evils because they have lost a job or can't make as much money as they want to.

The world needs God. I watched some more video the other night from the I Am Second website (www.iamsecond.com) and am reminded the depravity we drive ourselves to and the incredible mercy that we find in our Creator. I am so thankful for where I am with God right now and hope my relationship continues to grow bigger and closer and more intimate. It in an incredible journey full of insight, peaks and valleys and hope.

I hope today is filled with His peace and joy for you.

More Rangers

OK, they are still in 1st place. Great stuff. Elvis is incredible. He'll still make some mistakes but he also makes some incredible plays. Last night was another one. Josh Hamilton came back with a bang (homerun) and I'm hoping he gets back in his groove. The pitching is what has been carrying through many of the games so far. Yes, I said the pitching. Millwood has been great almost every outing but the offense hasn't been there to in some of his games to do it's part. It's no wonder everyone thought this Holland kid would be a top prospect. He can deal it.
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I just heard Jeremy Camp's "Give Me Jesus" rendition last night. I think I probably listened to it 5 or 6 times in a row before moving on to another song. It's a powerful message wrapped in a pretty simple song.
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I hope your day is filled with the love and peace that comes only from God.

Our Battle

For your battle is not against flesh and blood...

Why did Mark Cuban tell Kenyon Martin's mom that Kenyon is a thug? What would cause someone to do that? Can we say it's the heat of the battle? Emotions? Pain?

For years, I have responded to people by the way they made me feel. If they caused me to feel good, I was nice to them. If they caused me to feel bad, I didn't treat them so well. I thought the problem was what they were doing. I don't think that way anymore.

Satan wants us stirred up. He wants the heat of the battle, emotions and pain to guide us. All of those situations are about us and satan wants our lives to be about us. Did satan make Mark Cuban say those things? No, but I do believe satan has influence on Cuban (and everyone else) to cause Cuban to make his response from his feelings. Do you think Cuban really things Martin is a thug because he plays a game physically? Do you think Cuban really wanted to tell Martin's mom her son was a thug? In fact, he has written an apology and I think Cuban is sorry for doing that but may not understand what really caused him to spout off like that.

I'm using an extreme example of how satan works because I truly believe satan is not given enough credence for his role in our lives. Satan wants us to think the battle is against the person who is aggravating us or hurting us and that is a lie. The battle is against satan and his forces of evil. Our battle is against forces we cannot see (and for most of my life, forces I didn't even fathom, didn't understand and didn't care to understand) and that is they way satan wants it. He wants us to battle what we can see and we fall for it because it is easy.

I don't know how many times I have read Romans 6 and gone right through it without listening and heeding to what is said. Because I can't see the rulers and authorities of the dark world, I didn't pay much attention but continued to focus on flesh and blood. When I read Romans 6 today, I shiver because I now know those forces are fighting for my thoughts and actions every day but I also know I have been completely equipped by God to hold them off. God has given me all I need if I just reach for the tools, the weapons he has made for me.

The battle is not against flesh and blood and cannot be fought by flesh and blood alone. I thank God for his preparation for me and for his Spirit that will fight for me and with me to fend off the true battle.

Cut Off - Monday Sports

Our home Internet service has been down for several days and it's been odd, frustrating and liberating. It's odd not coming in and flipping on the computer to check email or fantasy baseball stats or all that other important stuff I have to look at every night. It's frustrating because there is some information that I need to get to and can't and it's somewhat liberating because it's one less thing I get caught up doing.

A new modem is supposed to be delivered today and we should be hooked back in to the information portal tonight. I'm sure it will take a few calls to customer service to make it all work but it will be good to get tied back in.
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I enjoy the rain when it's convenient for me.
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People are making way too much of the Mavs last second loss. Did the refs blow it? Yes. Did that one thing lose the game for the Mavs? Not really. It's clear they can't hang with the Nuggets. My disdain for the Mavs plays in to my thoughts and I'm aware of that but it doesn't change the fact that they are done.
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On the other hand, the Rangers look like they are primed to go to the World Series. OK, that may be a bit over the top but they are in 1st and playing good so I'll enjoy it as long as I can.

That's playing good with Michael Young and Josh Hamilton on the bench hurting right now.
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What's up with Tiger?
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That's all today.

Tired = No Post

I'm beat and me being tired means the wheels in my noggin' turn slower than normal and I have had nothing to post but babbling. I guess I could have posted that and tried to convince you I was typing in tongues.

The economy is confusing. It seems like it should turn around soon and then we hear that the big banks need another $65 million or billion in capital. Now, where do they go to get that in a bad economy? I don't think Chrysler will be loaning it to them since they will likely end up being owned by a foreign company who will benefit from US tax dollars being pumped into the company.

Any ideas where they will send the remaining prisoners from Gitmo? Obama's great idea of shutting it down to make us nicer people means those people have to either a) go back home and catch up on their terrorist techniques or b) be delivered to a prison in the U.S. I'm not seeing many hands go up for the people wanting them in their area.

Manny using steroids. Sad but not surprising. Who's left? Pujols? Howard?

Mariano Rivera gave up back-to-back home runs last night. That can't be a good sign of things to come for the Yankees.

I'm surprised people like Romo and Dirk don't find it easier to be a monk than date someone. Talk about scrutiny. And why does anyone care? Don't we have enough problems of our own? (Obviously that's not the case or People, National Enquirer, TMZ and the ilk would be out of business.)

I'm ready to be well again, to sleep through the night again and to feel good again. On the other hand, there's Romans 5:8 to think about. Hallelujah.

Why I'm A Rangers Fan

Did you see Chris Davis dive into the stands to catch a foul ball last night? EFFORT with big, bold capital letters.

OK, the idea for this blog started with why I'm not a Mavericks fan but watching Davis jump into the stands and almost make an incredible catch only solidified my feelings. I watched the Mavs today in the 3rd and 4th quarter and saw a team with no heart. Kidd throws balls everywhere and the few that do go to teammates go right by them with little if any effort. Dirk gets a technical when things are really starting to fall apart and gets a chance to take the ball hard to the hoop - maybe drawing a foul, maybe dunking it to make a statement. What does he do? He trys to finesse his way under the arm of the defender and misses the layup. Then he wanders back down the court with the most blank expression you can fathom. The coach is sitting on the bench looking like Rick Perry - he knows he got the job but just can't figure out how he did it or what he's supposed to do next. Maybe he'll convince the Mavericks to secede from the NBA.

The Rangers aren't good every year. Shoot, you can count the number of years they've been good on one hand but they have several players who don't quit, who lead with actions and words. I'll take Michael Young and his selflessness and Ian Kinsler and his determination and Hank Blalock and his perseverance and Chris Davis and his doing whatever it takes and Josh Hamilton and his struggle and Andrew Jones and his smile while climbing out of a deep hole and Nelson Cruz who everyone says can't make it but keeps fighting and Ron Washington and his character when everyone says he needs to go...I'll take those guys over the Mavs every day of the week. (Yes, I realize there are no pitchers on my list but hopefully they will show up one day.)

After today, I don't think I can stomach another Mavs game for awhile. So here's to hoping that the Rangers make it over .500 for the year and the guys keep fighting no matter where they are in the standings and maybe, just maybe, we get some pitching that is hard to expect for Rangers fans.

Closing the Blog

I'm shutting down the blog until next Monday to prevent the swine flu.

I may be blind to the problem but I think there is a lot of overreaction. I don't blame people but just chuckle silently. Maybe I'll be proved to have been too unconcerned. In the meantime, I'll keep washing my hands more and doing what I can to keep it away.

My son plays in a baseball tournament this weekend and they have suspended the post-game handshake between teams in an effort to thwart spreading the disease.

Until Monday, be well.