It's a Tuesday

Yes, I do know my days of the week and the Rangers lost again. I listened to some of the post-game radio show and there are calls to hire a new hitting coach. People are so reactive at times. There are times when nothing but time will fix things. The hitting coach has been regarded as a guru for years and players who are suffering at the plate want to come to him to find what they have lost. Just because not everyone finds it at once, on the same pace, at the same time, others want to denounce the guy who can help them the most? Crazy.
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We had a bit of a cold front yesterday and I actually saw a temperature of 77 and felt a few rain drops. Woohoo! Do you ever wonder why God doesn't set the thermostat at 75 degrees around the world and leave it there?
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One of the best things in my life are people who will talk to me about what they believe and what I believe, share our agreements and differences, challenge each other to think and examine our beliefs more and do it with mutual respect and love for each other. It's a beautiful gift.

It's a Monday

I can't get going this morning.

I've wondered while watching all the Michael Jackson hoopla and Iran protests on TV what it would have been like if there was TV back in Jesus' day.

I enjoyed it while the Rangers were on top. Now I'm left to wonder what the rest of the season will be like. The past few years, the Rangers have started off horribly and finished strong. Maybe they are in a collective slump and will still finish strong and be in the playoff hunt.

I am a little concerned with all the trade talk. I don't think they are in a position to contend for a World Series spot this year so why trade the prized farm system they keep talking about. Play the string out and see what the young guys can do unless we can get a great deal.

The Angels are coming to town. We want learn everything over the next 3 games but we may learn about the heart of the team. I'll be watching.

I wonder how much more attention Farrah Fawcett's death would have received if Michael Jackson hadn't died the same day.

I love to grill but it's weird thinking about starting a fire when it's 108 degrees outside.

We've started a class at church titled "What Is Truth?" Pilate asks Jesus that question and then walks away. Why wouldn't he stay for an answer? We're just a few classes in but I'm interested to see where it goes. I keep asking myself what we have done to truth over the years. Have we really upheld truth or have we mutated it to fit our desires, have we legalized it thinking it would make it easier to follow? Have we stayed true to exactly what Jesus taught? Questions that I don't have all the answer to.

I know this...God loves me deeply and He loves you the same way. He paid an incredible price for me and for you because He loves each of us so much. That is truth.

Grace and peace to you.

Being Clear

It's hard in a short blog to always cover all the bases but I want to add a little bit more to my last two posts.

The finger I am pointing is pointing square at me. It's not pointing at my current church or past churches I have attended. It's not pointing at the church across the street or around the corner. Just at me.

Maybe there's a better way to phrase "my church experience" but it's all I came up with . Anyway, it's MY experience and it's MY heart that has needed changing all along. I will say if you felt your toes were getting stepped on you may want to examine your own heart but please do not think I was talking about you or anyone else.

I am growing and experiencing a new relationship with God and through that my eyes are opening to all sorts of things. My church experience was a part of that. Do I think there are lots of people out there who were like me? Sure. I am trying to point out their issues? NO. Just mine.

I have learned that my view is shaped in great part by my heart relationship with God. I'm sharing some of what I'm learning because a) it is part of my healing and b) it may help someone else who has traveled the same or similar paths to mine.

Please know and believe my desire is to build up the kingdom. I believe God is a perfect God and I believe His ways and His desires are perfect.

I love God and shout hallelujah that I am His.

Grace and peace to you.

The Other Side of the Coin

I beat up on my church experience yesterday but I don't want to leave the story there because it's not complete. The crazy thing about a church is that it will not be perfect. It's made up of people who, though made in God's image, are sinful. I think God knew this was going to happen but it didn't stop Him from creating the church.

When I was a teenager, I was at a friend's lakehouse and his dad told me "I can find God out here easier than I can at church." At the time, I didn't know what to say and, even today, I'm not sure I can give a good response to him because it's not about the church but his heart. Christ established the church with Peter. In Matthew 16, ¹⁷Jesus replied, "Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah, for this was not revealed to you by man, but by my Father in heaven. ¹⁸And I tell you that you are Peter,^a]">[a] and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades^b]">[b] will not overcome it.^c]">[c] ¹⁹I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be^d]">[d] bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be^e]">[e] loosed in heaven."

Jesus said this to Peter, the same Peter who would later vehemently deny he knew the Christ, Peter the fiery cut-off-someone's-ear guy. Hmmm. Maybe, just maybe, even Jesus knew things wouldn't always run perfectly in the church because Jesus says "on this rock I will build my church" and surely He knew what Peter would later do. Should we think He expects we will be better than that?

What I have found at my church are some people who love the Lord our God deeply and intimately. I have found some people who will carry each other's burdens an extra mile. I have found people who love unconditionally, who bear with each other, who endure with each other and who believe in each other. I have found people who come together on Sunday morning to worship, fall at the feet of and give praise to the Lord.

For all the imperfections that exist, there is also something perfect in the church - the desire of God for us to come together and it is in that perfection that I have grown to love my church and look forward to the times we are together in worship and in fellowship.

Grace and peace to you.

Where Did It Change?

I'm part of a theological movement often referred to as the Restoration Movement - the idea being to restore the 1st century church. I think it's a great idea but as I look at my church experience, I don't think I see things matching up real well.

This from Acts 2:
⁴²They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. ⁴³Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles. ⁴⁴All the believers were together and had everything in common. ⁴⁵Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. ⁴⁶Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, ⁴⁷praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.

I am guilty of participating in being devoted to a lot of things other than the apostles' teaching, fellowship, breaking of bread and prayer, of being together with everything in common, of giving all I have to anyone as they have need, of meeting every day to study.

I am guilty of participating with people in the church who are more concerned about getting to keep all my money because I earned it instead of giving it all away.
I am guilty of participating with people in the church of being more devoted to a certain political groups teachings and fighting the other group instead of focused on the apostles' teaching.
I am guilty of participating with people in church who want to segregate ourselves from other groups because our worship style is different or we want to fight a public battle over our doctrine while the lost stand on the outside wandering what all the fuss is about but knowing they don't want anything to do with it.
I am guilty of participating with people in the church who pass emails around with Congressman explaining why we are a Judeo-Christian nation to build up our country instead of talking to people who don't know Jesus and building up the kingdom.

I'm not saying my church isn't important because it was something established by Christ. I think the church is very important (and I'll have more to say about that another day because we just aren't perfect people, are we?) but I also think our movement has been less about restoring 1st century Christianity than it should be. I think many of us have been misguided and I think there are spiritual forces at work that want to keep it that way - let us fight over music and dress and women's roles and buildings and a 1,000 other things instead of doing what the church in Acts 2 was doing.

I pray for churches that are led by the Spirit and not the desire of men. I pray for churches that are building up the kingdom instead of fighting the battles of egos and politics. I pray for churches that are enjoying the favor of people and enjoying the fruit of the Lord adding to their numbers daily. I am praying that I will begin to look more like a 1st century Christian than I do today.

Grace and peace to you.

The Coming Week

I've got several ideas for posts this week and hope I can get them all done without writing a novel and making sense. I may have to stew on some of them a little longer.

Today, health care seems to be back in the spotlight. I didn't hear all that was said this morning on GMA but know they were talking about the pros and cons of Obama's plan that is coming soon. While government run anything makes me immediately think "FAILURE" I'm also an advocate that our current system doesn't work so well either. Currently, I make 2 house payments each month - one for my house and one for my health plan. It's not a joke, I pay roughly the same amounts for my mortgage and insurance. Does that sound like a good plan? Then, I've got Newt Gingrich as the Republican spokesman for the evils of Obama's plan. A guy who is living off a government paid pension funded my tax dollars, a guy with the best health care available fund funded by my tax dollars and a guy who gets paid millions of dollars to speak while still taking a salary paid for by my tax dollars. Great. What I would like is for my spokesman to be the husband of one of the ladies in my office. She's pregnant and his company just cut health insurance to save money. I think he's got a better grip on reality than Newt for most Americans.

Tell me the government cannot effectively manage a health program and I can't disagree with you. Tell me the plan we have now is good enough and I will disagree with you. Tell me the Republicans have a better alternative and I'll just laugh. Ask me for a solution and I'll tell you I'm as lost as the next person because I don't have the time to invest in it right now. Who does you ask? Unfortunately it's the people who are getting paid by my tax dollars, people who don't live in the real world and who don't seem to really understand the needs of the typical American.
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This is leading me to a place I don't fully understand and reserve the right to change my opinions as I think out loud. For today, I'll simply throw the broad question out of what is the church's role going to be in the future?

Grace and peace to you.

Strength

I talked to a friend yesterday who just quit his job. Yep, just quit. He doesn't have another job lined up. The job he had paid him as much as his previous jobs had paid in 2-3 years. He just quit.

OK, he didn't just walk out. He talked to his boss, the owner of the company, before walking out. They had a talk and then he quit.

Crazy, huh? In this economy, who in their right mind quits his job? And what would possess someone to do something like that?

My friend and his boss, the owner, were interviewing a guy for a position at the company. They had asked if the guy was willing to move and the guy responded to the effect of "yes, my wife and I have been praying about it so that we make the right decision for our family and we think God is leading us to move." At this point, the boss excuses himself to go to the restroom while my friend finished the interview.

After the candidate is gone, my friend finds the boss and asks what he thought. "I left because I'm not hiring another Christian hypocrite around here. I'm not interested." There was more to it than that but you get the idea.

My friend wrestled with it for a few days. He had promised his high school aged daughter he wouldn't move her again. He was making good money. He called someone and they suggested he talk to his daughter and tell her what happened to which she responded, "you can't stay there daddy." So he told his boss how he felt and his boss told him he didn't care. So he quit.

Strength. Not muscles, not force but a strength that comes from a faith I wonder if I would have. Strength that allows him to trust that God will take care of him. Strength.

Grace and peace to you.

Twittering

Technology can bring good and bad to our world. Twitter is one of those things I've been somewhat fascinated by because lots of people use it and it doesn't make the company any money. I guess that's perfect in this economy but it doesn't seem like a long-term solution.

Anyway, Twitter was planning to shut down this weekend for some maintenance and has been asked by the U.S. government to postpone it so protesters in Iran can communicate what is going on using Twitter. The Iranian government has stopped most news outlets from reporting and people are using their cell phones and Twitter to let the world in. Crazy.

I still think Twitter is going to have to find a way to make money.
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If you fly much, or even if you don't, and want to read something fun, google "29E letter" and read the comments from a passenger who was having a bad flight. There is some coarse language so beware but the letter is one of the funniest things I've read. There's a similar letter from a guy flying from Mumbai to Heathrow on Virgin Airways that ranks right there with it. You can find it through google also.
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The Rangers won in extra innings last night. I'm glad we are beating the bad teams but want to see us beat a Boston, New York or Los Angeles Dodger type team before I get too excited about making any trades to make a run this year. There are still too many holes to begin giving up valuable talent in the farm system to hope for a Series this year.

No one from the Rangers has ever asked my opinion.
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Grace and peace.

Shocking (Or Not)

Word out that Sammy Sosa tested positive for steroids in 2003. Really? OK, everyone who is suprised to hear this, raise your left hand. The numbers are skewed and there's no going back so let's move on. No one cared when it was happening - not MLB or the Players Association, not owners, reporters or fans. Now people are outraged? Give it up and move on.
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Obama is proposing several new positions to monitor private industry. It's hilarious to think some government nerd really has a clue what happens in the real world but big business sure seems to have trouble policing itself and it's owners (stockholders) want immediate returns so what does anyone expect but short term thinking and pushing to make numbers look pretty? Anyway, throw the government beauracracy in the mix and prepare for disaster. Not that business managers won't bring disaster on themselves anyway. Remember MCI? Enron? Hundreds of other companies that went belly-up because of bad management and took lots of people down with them?

The danger, to me, is that people begin to focus on the government agencies as the problem when the people running the company are the problem - but make millions and millions and get to walk away financially secure while the line workers lose their retirement.
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That leads me towards another post I'm working on that asks how much we should care and where our focus and efforts should be. Some people will think I have lost my mind...and I couldn't disagree with them.
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Grace and peace to you.

Deep Stuff

Not really any deep stuff here today.

Letterman has apologized to Palin for his jokes. This little explosion, what little attention I've paid to it, simply disgusts me. Letterman's joke was out of line regardless of which daughter he thought was at the ballgame. Plain and simple out of line, inappropriate and crude. He should know better and should have apologized immediately. On the other hand, Palin continues to use it for her political stature. Someone asked me what I would have done had it been my child. I hope I would have been forgiving and merciful and let it go. Does it help the girl that her mother keeps beating the dead horse in the public forum. Surely not. It drags it on and on. I hope Palin apologizes for her actions. She did far more than defend her daughter, she exploited it for her own gain.

This ordeal only brings me back to the way I am trying to see things in my life. Do you really think this was just a bad actor and an overzealous politician...or is it something more, something darker that wants to use just these actions to pull our thoughts away from Christ-like living? I reserve the right to be dead wrong but I tend to see these things as part of the spiritual warfare that is going on around us. Would satan rather us be caught up in a battle between people or service to our Savior? Who looks at Letterman and Palin as simply a late night TV guy and a politician and who sees them as falliable children of the Creator? Does seeing them as children of God, made in His image, susceptible to lure of evil just like me, change the way I feel about them?
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It's this kind of baloney that has pushed me to quit watching the news programs. Local, CNN, Fox...they are in business to sensationalize information so as to get the people watching and listening up in arms. What drives ratings? The crazy and the bizarre.
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If you find yourself looking for stuff in the Bible, try www.biblegateway.com. It's a great tool with a good search function and works similar to a concordance but does even more.

Grace and peace.

Done For The Week

No more posts this week. When I'm done with this one, you will likely I think I was done with posts yesterday.

The Rangers won a 1-0 game last night that was over at 9:45. The Rangers. Yes, a game won with pitching and defense! A Ranger game that took less than 3 hours. A Ranger game won with pitching and defense...did I mention that one already? Who is that team playing in Arlington and what did they do with the guys we are used to watching?

Anyone watching 4th and 1 on SpikeTV? It's Michael Irvin's reality show that started with 6 receivers and 6 defensive backs competing for a spot at Cowboys training camp. I'm pretty sure Jerry is behind it somehow since it's promoting his team but I think I'll be pulling for whoever wins to make the team. So far, all these guys seem happy to have the opportunity. It's Irvin being the taskmaster with Bill Bates as the defensive coach and Joe Avezzano as the offensive coach. Irvin has the line he gives them whenever he cuts one but each guy that got cut is respectful and thankful for the shot.

One of the last things I heard on Good Morning America this morning was that we would all get to hear one of the American Idol people say these 3 words, "I am gay." But GMA isn't about sensationalism. Seriously? Sadly, there are people who will tune in just to hear the big news with some thinking he's the greatest thing since sliced bread for coming out and others who will hate him for it.

I wish GMA would roll the I Am Second lineup of folks out on their stage so they can say those words to the world. Josh Hamilton, Jason Witten, Darren Waltrip, Brian "Head" Welch, Jason Castro and a bunch of others...why not make that the big news?

Whew. Breathe deeply. Calm. Imagine your favorite peaceful place. OK, I'm better now.

I hope you have a wonderful weekend and remember that God loves you tremendously.

Why?

Great Bible verse today. Psalm 46:10.
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Why do tragedies occur? Why do we hurt each other and do things that are so senseless at times? You have probably heard about the white supremacist that entered the Holocaust Museum in Washington, D.C. yesterday and started shooting people because he hates Jews and blacks. I haven't heard the whole story but know he killed at least 1 person.

I don't know that I can fully imagine the evil influence a person is under to want to kill people because of the color of their skin or their religious beliefs. The murderer and his victim were both created in the image of God, yet one of them chose to hate the other.

We are all caught in a spiritual battle. Our feelings may not be the same as the man who decided to kill but the goal of the battle is just the same, to steal our heart and soul from God. My prayer is that we can see our battles and seek God with all of our strength to overcome satan and his evil plans.

Battles

The Rangers aren't surviving their battles against Toronto very well. Last night was so ugly I quit watching it. And Elvis made an error. I think the world's axis must have tilted off course last night.

I love Colossians 3:13. I have appreciated it for a long time but I have learned to love it powerfully the more I have come to know God.

I got an email that asks, "If satan and his demons were having a board meeting about their competition, would your name come up? Would they know you were a threat?" What a great question. How many professing Christians roam the world and pose no threat to satan? I ask because there was a time I was that description fit me well. I hope that's not true today.

More from Os Hillman:
If you are seeking to fully follow the Lord, you can expect harassment from the enemy. God permits temptation because it drives us deeper into the soil of God. These times reveal God's power to keep us and walk us through the temptations. Our message becomes fruitful when it is born out of obedience and suffering for His name. Do not consider it strange if you find yourself fighting major battles the more obedient you become to the Master. God desires each of us to become a feared enemy of hell in order to affect satan's domain. When you begin to feel harassed, chances are you are beginning to affect the kingdom of darkness, and satan doesn't like this. So, how many demons do you think are assigned to you?

I hope I lead a life that disrupts satan's plans and brings the light of God into the world. I'm still traveling a path to a better understanding and knowledge of God, of what the Holy Spirit can and does do in my life but as I walk, I hope my light will begin to shine brighter and brighter to a lost world that is full of satan's work.

Mental Toast

Breathing in dust, grass clippings and other factors are causing me to go into mental shutdown this morning. The yard looks pretty good (thanks to lots of God's watering) but I still have to do the back this evening...meaning more dust, grass clippings...yoweee.

It was a baseball whipping yesterday. Rangers picked up the option on Ron Washington's contract for next year. That's not saying a lot for the Rangers but the first time Ron's had any job security. Josh Hamilton will have surgery. Not good for us Hamilton fans. Brandon McCarthy has a stress fracture in his shoulder and will be out for a month or more. Not good for pitching fans. Frank Francisco is having shoulder trouble again. Not good for those of us who white knuckle the arms of our chair every time C.J. Wilson runs on to the field. The Rangers lost to Toronto last night. They made a good run at it and a Hank Blalock shot last night with Nelson Cruz on deck almost made it really good but, unfortunately, Hank hit it towards centerfield where the very, very capable Vernon Wells hangs out. Wells made the catch and that was that.

The Longhorns beat TCU to earn a spot in the College World Series. I would have loved to see TCU purple in Omaha but not at the expense of burnt orange being there.

That's all for today.

Years Of Frustration

The Rangers go to New York and Boston and leave with a 3 wins and 3 losses record. WOW! For Rangers fans who have suffered through years of bad pitching and bad defense, the start to this season is fun to watch. I bet there are plenty, like me, who keep preparing for the wheels to fall off but I'm not so sure they will. Nelson Cruz, the guy who was out of options, who couldn't get off to a good start at the top level, has gone deep 17 times. Kinsler, Andrus, Young, Davis...strong. Millwood, Feldman, Wonderboy (Holland)...steady. Padilla...a nut job who can pitch pretty well when his head is in the game. This is fun, really fun to watch.
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Have you ever waited on something to happen and thought it never would? Did you get frustrated? Ready to give up? I know I feel that way at times and I wonder if God ever does. For some of us, coming to a true relationship with God has taken a long time with several missteps (to put it kindly) along the way. I wonder if He ever got frustrated? Ever wanted to give up?

Can you imagine hearing God say "(state your name), I'm tired of trying, I'm tired of waiting, I'm frustrated and I'm ready to give up on you." The first time I imagined that question with my name in the blank, it brought me to tears and sent chills down my spine. It still does at times because it's a question I continue to use when I feel myself drifting away from complete trust and faith in God, a trust and faith that He will bring to a place greater than what I am hoping for, greater than I can likely imagine. It doesn't mean the path is all sunshine and roses because there are evil forces along with the way wanting me to quit, to give up. But God is good, He's never given up on me, He never quit trying, He never quit loving me...and He never will.

I still hear the voices and feel the pull to walk away but the question hasn't let me do that. I want to live in the answer, the answer that says "I am with you always..."

The End of The Week

I have a friend who is leaving for a Colorado vacation today. Lucky dog.

That, in itself, pretty well has me shut down from having any other thoughts today.

The only "do what?" thought is that he is going to be camping the whole time. He said he probably spent more on camping equipment than he would have on a nice hotel but he didn't want a TV wherever he was.

I'm not sure the idea of unplugging the TV crossed his mind. Even cutting the power cord off the TV and paying to replace it would be worth it when considering sleeping in a bed or on the ground at our advanced ages.

OK, I'm picking at him because he will spend the next week in Colorado and I won't...but my day is coming quickly!

I hope to be back next week with some better thoughts to go exploring with. Have a great weekend and remember that God loves you and wants you in a relationship with Him that is full of the best He has to offer - amazing grace, incredible love and compassion and a beautiful hope for what lies before us.

Not Much Today

I'm working on thoughts that might make the blog next week. It's kind my mental motor locked down right now.

ESPN's #2 Play of the Day last night - 2 clips of Elvis Andrus making some lights out plays against the Evil Empire. Rangers win! Rangers win!

I wonder what they will do with Vincente Padilla. I can't imagine they will get much for him in a trade but I wonder if they would want much. He's supposed to be the number 2 guy but he's a bit of a head-case. Dump all or most of his salary with the plan to bring in Ben Sheets and pull Perez up from the minors? Is a Blalock for a pitcher trade still in the works? It's going to be an interesting year.

Did you hear about the banker jumping from the 14th floor of a parking garage yesterday? Saw a snippet that the ME ruled he jumped on his own. Tragic. I can only imagine the pain that drove him to do that.

I've only heard snippets about Obama's speech in Egypt yesterday. I wonder how he's been received and I wonder how he's representing the USA. I used to be much more wrapped up in all of that but don't have near the concern or time for it anymore. I'm not too worried about what Obama is going to do because I have come to believe this country has been on a downhill slide for several years and it has little to do with who's in office but everything to do with the condition of the people of this country.

Kids sure spend a lot of time on Facebook while they are in school. Social media is one more avenue that good things can come from but a whole lot of bad things can come from. It's another one of those things that can be neat but we would not be any worse off if it went away.

I upgraded to 5MB Internet service at home. I'm not sure I can tell the difference yet.

I love reading Romans. There's more to learn every time I open it up.

UpWayLate

I was up later than I wanted to be last night and I'm feeling it this morning. I'm wondering if anyone will mind me drinking coffee straight from the coffee pot.

I think the Yankees have the Rangers number. Things looked good with Cruz hit his 3-run homer to put the Rangers ahead 3-2...then the Yankees tacked on 10 runs and it didn't look so good. Thank goodness the Angels were facing Roy Halladay and lost. Maybe tonight will be better for the Rangers but I'm starting to think the pinstripes are the Rangers kryptonite.

Can someone turn the humidity down? Please.

Hope is a wonderful thing. Remaining hopeful seems to lift me up, boosts my spirit, keeps me smiling and singing (at least on the inside). At times, hope seems to wane but my faith in God keeps bringing it back. I thought about how hope works in my life as I read the following from John Eldredge:

If for all practical purposes we believe that this life is our best shot at happiness, if this is as good as it gets, we will live as desperate, demanding, and eventually despairing men and women. We will place on this world a burden it was never intended to bear. We will try to find a way to sneak back into the Garden and when that fails, as it always does, our heart fails as well. If truth be told, most of us live as though this life is our only hope.

In his wonderful book The Eclipse of Heaven, A. J. Conyers put it quite simply: “We live in a world no longer under heaven.” All the crises of the human soul flow from there. All our addictions and depressions, the rage that simmers just beneath the surface of our Christian facade, and the deadness that characterizes so much of our lives has a common root: We think this is as good as it gets. Take away the hope of arrival and our journey becomes the Battan death march. The best human life is unspeakably sad. Even if we manage to escape some of the bigger tragedies (and few of us do), life rarely matches our expectations. When we do get a taste of what we really long for, it never lasts. Every vacation eventually comes to an end. Friends move away. Our careers don’t quite pan out. Sadly, we feel guilty about our disappointment, as though we ought to be more grateful.

Of course we’re disappointed—we’re made for so much more. “He has also set eternity in the hearts” (Eccl. 3:11). Our longing for heaven whispers to us in our disappointments and screams through our agony. “If I find in myself desires which nothing in this world can satisfy,” C. S. Lewis wrote, “the only logical explanation is that I was made for another world.”

(The Sacred Romance , 179–80)

Lots o' Rain

It was pouring down when I took the kids to school. Once I dropped them off and made my way into the office, it stopped. I'm OK with it raining on Mondays and Tuesdays between 8 and 11 in the morning and after 9 at night. I should avoid getting wet and it leaves the weekends open for outside activities. Seems reasonable, doesn't it?
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Rangers play in New York tonight. It would be good to win this series before heading into Boston. If the Rangers come out of this with more wins than losses they have to be considered as a contender. If they don't, it shows there is more work to be done which isn't all bad either. The bullpen still isn't as good as anyone would want it. I'm guessing the coming months will bring a trade for some pitching and the signing of Ben Sheets. If Nefatali Perez is able to come to the bullpen with his 100mph heat, Holland continues to be steady, Feldman continues to improve and Sheets can be a reliable starter...wow. This could be really fun.

Consider that and the idea of Hamilton and Chris Davis hitting like they are capable of and you've got a good mix if everyone can execute. WOW. This could be really fun!
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I'm just a few days reading into Oswald Chamber's My Utmost for His Highest and loving it. It's as if he was writing it just for me and his comments challenge me to go deeper with God and remind me to wait on Him, rely on Him, trust in Him, live for Him.

More 50

The 50th anniversary party for my parents was great. I got to see some old friends I hadn't seen in 20 years and catch up with some of my high school friends. Of course, it wasn't about me but I enjoyed it. It was good to see so many people come, some from far distances, for my parents. It was special to see so many, young and old, come to honor them for 50 years of marriage and for being a part of the lives of so many people.
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The Rangers are still tearing it up. There's still room for some of you nay-sayers to jump on the bandwagon.
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More Oswald Chambers that struck me last week..."We seem to think that God wants us to give up things! God purified Abraham from this error and the same process is at work in our lives. God never tells us to give up things just for the sake of giving them up, but He tells us to give them up for the sake of the only thing worth having, namely, life with Him."

I have struggled with all the stuff I have and all the stuff I do and have, at times, agonized over what it meant for me as a Christian. Over time, I have come to realize that what I have isn't the issue. Instead, the issue is what I willing to give. Am I giving my money? Am I giving my time? Am I giving my heart? As I draw closer to my God, it's easier to understand that He isn't a God desiring to take away but a God desiring to give. If I am going to walk with God, I must be prepared to give and the life and things that I have will take care of themselves.

I am looking forward to finding what God calls me to give and I am looking forward to building my relationship with Him as I learn to be a servant.

50

This weekend, my parents will celebrate 50 years of marriage. It is a great testament to love and devotion and I honor them at this special time. I can only imagine that over 50 years there have been ups-and-downs that they have weathered and enjoyed. I have heard stories of tough times when money was tight. I'm also aware of 18 years of pure bliss - the years I was living at home being a perfect angel.

I am thankful for my parents and thank God for them and all they have taught me and for the love they have given me. On this special weekend, I pray that they feel the love God has for both of them and thank Him for their love for me and so many others that they have touched.

Mom and Dad, thank you for all that you are and all that you do.

The Motions

No need to mention the Rangers today.

I'm still stuck on the song I mentioned a few blogs ago, "The Motions" that Matthew West sings. It keeps me thinking about where I've been and where I hope to go and how different those two episodes of life might look.

I watched a video that struck me the other day too. A speaker was telling the audience that he thought we could see a better idea of what God intended the church to be at an AA meeting than in an institutional church setting. I don't believe I disagree with him. You go to AA because a) a judge has ordered you to or b) you've got some problems you need to find a way to deal with. For those who go because of "b", there are some really honest stories told, some tough thoughts/feelings/actions are opened up and healing can happen. That's what church, the body of Christ, should be because that is what Christ is; the one I should be really honest with, the one I should bear all my ugliness, my hurts, my scars, my sins to and the one who will begin the healing.

I have grown up in churches where I have heard more complaining or gossip about what someone is doing than being aware of people going to help the hurting. I have heard people spend time asking what the one who went forward did or say "what a shame" or "they brought it on themselves" and other things of that nature but did not stop to offer prayers or help or a shoulder to cry on. I wish I could say it was someone else but I am just as guilty.

I don't want the church to be more like AA; I want it to be incomparable to any organization we can imagine. I don't want the church to be a place where brothers and sisters feel safe but a place where brothers and sisters and people dealing with every kind of sin Jesus so their healing can begin. I don't want to be a part of a church that is going through the motions but a church that is the active body of Christ - one that certainly teaches truth, but even more, lives it, exudes it, a church that shows the irresistible nature of the Christ.

The challenge is that it doesn't fall to the Elders or the ministers - it starts with me. What will I do today? How will I show Christ to people today? How will I let people know there is healing for their pain and suffering, that there is grace and peace and salvation in our Lord?

Does God Read Blogs?

At 44 years of age, I realize I just can't stay out as late as I used to. I had the joy of experiencing the Rangers 2 1/2 rain delay last night. We hung on until the 6th inning but had to call it a night which put me to bed way late. I'll be paying for it today but it was great seeing a Rangers win against the Yankees.
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I hope my title isn't taking badly but it's a question I have asked myself several times. Each day, a random verse pops up on my blog and every now and then, when I'm really hitting a low spot of some sort, the verse speaks volumes to me. I have jokingly said God must be reading my blog and giving me the exact scripture I need that day. I like to think there might be a little truth to that but the real story is that the Bible is full of hope and compassion and love and reading a little bit of scripture every day reinforces the real importance of being in God's word all the time. I have read more this year than I have in a long time, maybe ever, and I feel the benefits of the time I spend in how I feel on the inside. It doesn't take away my problems but it gives me so much peace in living through them and helps me remember to trust God - trust that He will carry my load.

God may not read blogs but I am reminded over and over how important it is for me to read God's words. My words might bring a laugh or a tear but His words bring life.

Hard Things

The Rangers loss yesterday...that was a hard thing in a relatively insignificant way. It was hard to watch for a fan but not such a big deal in considering all that is happening in the world.

I was forwarded a video by a missionary friend of mine that is a hard thing to watch. The closer I get to God, the harder this type of video is to watch. Not hard in a sad or disgusting way but hard in that it turns my stomach that people live in the condition they do. At the same time, their thankfulness for scraps speaks volumes about the lives that most of us live. If you've got about 6 minutes, watch this: http://www.cultureunplugged.com/play/1081/Chicken-a-la-Carte

Going Through The Motions

Having a rough day? Read this http://www.space.com/missionlaunches/090520-space-urine.html then enjoy a nice, refreshing glass of water and relax.
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A song I keep playing over and over lately is "The Motions" by Matthew West. If you haven't heard it, go to YouTube and search for Matthew West The Motions and you'll find a couple of videos to watch. Basically, the song is about a person not wanting to just go through the motions but to find the true passion that God can give us. For me, it's a song with words that are powerful.

For so long, I have heard the alarm, got in the shower, took the kids to school, went to work, ate lunch, went back to work, go home, eat, go to baseball practice/church/volunteer activity, go home, watch TV, go to sleep, heard the alarm, got in the shower...you get the idea. Coming to really experience God has given me a better vision of what God sees and what I can be doing to help someone, to live with more joy in my future and more joy in knowing God.

At 44, my life is likely half over and I do not want to spend the last half just going through the motions. I want to live in the freedom and joy and jubilation that comes through a relationship with God and I want to spend my days looking for the ways He wants me to serve and help and love. With God, the simplest of things seem bigger and the biggest challenges seem easier. Going through the motions makes the simplest of things seem a burden and the biggest challenges appear impossible. I want to go with God, to revel in His love, to share His mercy and grace and compassion and hope.

I hope your day is filled with the peace that can only come from God.

A Beautiful Lunch

How fast can the Rangers get out of Detroit? It's not fast enough.
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Yesterday's lunch was refreshing. Beautiful. Peaceful. It started with 3 tacos to go from Primo's. I love the pork tacos with cilantro, onions and lime juice. They are tasty with great flavors but I digress. While I did enjoy the food, I snuck off to a secluded spot, sat at a picnic table under a giant shade tree and ate while seeing the beauty of God's creation and listened to the birds sing. After the feast, I opened up My Utmost for His Highest written by Oswald Chambers. A sister-in-law gave it to me about 3 years ago but my heart is only now prepared for some of the thoughts Chambers expresses in his writing. Below is a portion of what I read yesterday that resonated with me.

Once we get intimate with Jesus we are never lonely and we never lack for understanding or compassion. We can continually pour out our hearts to Him without being perceived as overly emotional or pitiful. The Christian who is truly intimate with Jesus will never draw attention to himself but will only show the evidence of a life where Jesus in completely in control. This is the outcome of allowing Jesus to satisfy every area o life to its depth. The picture resulting from such a life is that of the strong, calm balance that our Lord gives to those who are intimate with Him.

Lord, take me there. Keep drawing me closer to you and help me to live in your goodness.

A Crazy World

Newt Gringrich is calling for Nancy Pelosi to resign. Politics are crazy and while I am no fan of Pelosi and think we would be better off without her as Speaker of the House, I'm no longer in touch with all the happenings to make that call other than personal preference. It sure seems like she has thrown herself into hot water with her comments about the CIA and I applaud Leon Panetta, a Democrat lifer, for speaking up for the CIA. It's just another circus we will sit back and watch.
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The Rangers lost and, worse, can't seem to win in Detroit. I think they are 0-9 at Comerica Park. Hamilton's hurt again but hopefully will be back tonight and maybe the Rangers will break the jinx and get back to winning. I like it when they win 7 in a row more than when they lose 1.
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I've seen a few interviews with Toby Slough, the pastor of Cross Timbers Community Church in Argyle, on local and national news lately because of the amount of money they have given away in the past few months to people in need. I think it's great to hear these stories, especially one so close to us, instead of all the gloom and doom we seem to hear and I think it's great for a church family to get recognized for their good works even thought that's not the reason they do it. Praise God for what He is doing through people who love Him.

I've Really Got To Stop

OK, there was Chris Davis' walk off homer and then Josh Hamilton makes another (painfully) incredible catch climbing halfway up the wall in right-center field. That's after he made a great throw from center field to throw out a runner at home the night before. Great pitching and some really, really good defense and hits at the right time. 121 more wins and they clinch the West. OK, OK, I shouldn't get ahead of myself. The Yankees are coming up soon and some games against East division teams will show us more but it's been REAL fun so far being a Rangers fan.
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I got to hear another great sermon yesterday focused around the story of the good Samaritan. It's a story I've heard hundreds of times but as my walk takes me closer to God, the story takes on new significance and new understanding. As I have learned to look at people with God's eyes (a weak imitation but getting better), I have come to experience people in such a different light. Things that used to make me mad, irritated, turned off, resentful, judgmental...now I spend time wondering how to help them see the light of God, see the joy that I am seeing in being His child and living in His love.

God, give me your eyes so I can see like you and give me your heart so I can love like you.

Back-to-Back

I should leave the Rangers alone for awhile but yesterday's walk-off 2 run homer was sweet. Chris Davis, Longview native, hit a big blast when they needed it. Don't let the fact that he is on pace to set the strikeout record interfere with what he did yesterday. Lights out. Now, the 2nd place Angels come to town.
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I feel sorry for the Chrysler dealerships that got "the letter" yesterday. Chrysler is rolling up dealerships, putting some out of business so that others may thrive. I guess dealers know that Chrysler has that power but I always hate to hear when the bad news is delivered through a letter filled with corporate-ese.

GM is doing it today.
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One of the incredible experiences of being on a journey with God is exploring where he wants you to go. I have experienced some radical changes in my thought processes of what it means to be a Christ-follower. I see baptism in a whole new light - much deeper, richer and more meaningful experience than I ever imagined it to be. I see church attendance in a whole new light - not as a regulation but as a place of peace in the presence of God. These are just a couple of examples of things I have grown up with thinking I understood but figuring out I never really went very far with them. I have heard the battles over grace versus works and used to try to have some intellectual answer to the question. How silly I was. I am coming to see that these and many other subjects similar are not matters of interpretation or research as much as they are matters of the heart and my hearts desire for God.

I may never enter in to another conversation about baptism being essential because if a true heart for God doesn't lead someone into the waters, my reasoning will not be adequate for what they can experience. I may never enter in to another conversation about what "forsaking the assembly" means because a true heart for God will draw you into worship. Going to church because you are supposed to go to church can actually be damaging in the search for God. And grace versus works? Wow. How can 2 things that create incredible synergy ever be opposed to each other. When someone truly experiences grace, the desire to work will burn within them. I venture to say the person who does not have a desire to serve God in any way possible may not yet have experienced the incredible power of His grace.

I say all of this from my own experience, not some idea that I have it all figured out because I am still on a journey to truly know my Lord. It is incredible. It is filled with new insights every day. It is filled with tears and joy and shivers that run down my spine and peace...a perfect peace that He is in control, that He will lead me where He wants me to be, that He will protect me, encourage me and love me no matter what. It's a journey I am treasuring every minute of - good and bad - because it is pulling my heart closer to my Creator, my Savior, my Lord.

Repeat

Maybe I'm being repetitive but I'm enjoying the Rangers right now. If you didn't stay up to watch the end of last night's game, you missed a great finish. Offense won the game in the 11th inning but decent pitching and defense kept them in the game. A win today is important because it will lead to the 2nd place Angels coming to town for a weekend series. Go Rangers!
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I got to hear a presentation from a friend last Sunday on a recent trip to Ecuador. I think we forget, or maybe don't understand, the conditions that so many people live in around the world. He told us about two children found living on the streets. The brother was out rounding up rotten fruit or whatever he could find to feed his sister and all they had was the rags they wore as clothes. The were brought to an orphanage and for 60 days, they had to take treatments to kill the worms in their stomachs. I can't remember their age but I'm pretty sure they were around 5 and 3 years old at the time. He told us about a boy who came to the orphanage who had been living in a pig sty. He didn't know his name or how old he was so they let him pick his own name. They found out his mother was a prostitute who had left him on the streets to die.

We have our own sad stories too. Kids who have so much that they turn to drugs for excitement and end up overdosing or landing in jail. People who turn to alcohol or other evils because they have lost a job or can't make as much money as they want to.

The world needs God. I watched some more video the other night from the I Am Second website (www.iamsecond.com) and am reminded the depravity we drive ourselves to and the incredible mercy that we find in our Creator. I am so thankful for where I am with God right now and hope my relationship continues to grow bigger and closer and more intimate. It in an incredible journey full of insight, peaks and valleys and hope.

I hope today is filled with His peace and joy for you.

More Rangers

OK, they are still in 1st place. Great stuff. Elvis is incredible. He'll still make some mistakes but he also makes some incredible plays. Last night was another one. Josh Hamilton came back with a bang (homerun) and I'm hoping he gets back in his groove. The pitching is what has been carrying through many of the games so far. Yes, I said the pitching. Millwood has been great almost every outing but the offense hasn't been there to in some of his games to do it's part. It's no wonder everyone thought this Holland kid would be a top prospect. He can deal it.
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I just heard Jeremy Camp's "Give Me Jesus" rendition last night. I think I probably listened to it 5 or 6 times in a row before moving on to another song. It's a powerful message wrapped in a pretty simple song.
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I hope your day is filled with the love and peace that comes only from God.

Our Battle

For your battle is not against flesh and blood...

Why did Mark Cuban tell Kenyon Martin's mom that Kenyon is a thug? What would cause someone to do that? Can we say it's the heat of the battle? Emotions? Pain?

For years, I have responded to people by the way they made me feel. If they caused me to feel good, I was nice to them. If they caused me to feel bad, I didn't treat them so well. I thought the problem was what they were doing. I don't think that way anymore.

Satan wants us stirred up. He wants the heat of the battle, emotions and pain to guide us. All of those situations are about us and satan wants our lives to be about us. Did satan make Mark Cuban say those things? No, but I do believe satan has influence on Cuban (and everyone else) to cause Cuban to make his response from his feelings. Do you think Cuban really things Martin is a thug because he plays a game physically? Do you think Cuban really wanted to tell Martin's mom her son was a thug? In fact, he has written an apology and I think Cuban is sorry for doing that but may not understand what really caused him to spout off like that.

I'm using an extreme example of how satan works because I truly believe satan is not given enough credence for his role in our lives. Satan wants us to think the battle is against the person who is aggravating us or hurting us and that is a lie. The battle is against satan and his forces of evil. Our battle is against forces we cannot see (and for most of my life, forces I didn't even fathom, didn't understand and didn't care to understand) and that is they way satan wants it. He wants us to battle what we can see and we fall for it because it is easy.

I don't know how many times I have read Romans 6 and gone right through it without listening and heeding to what is said. Because I can't see the rulers and authorities of the dark world, I didn't pay much attention but continued to focus on flesh and blood. When I read Romans 6 today, I shiver because I now know those forces are fighting for my thoughts and actions every day but I also know I have been completely equipped by God to hold them off. God has given me all I need if I just reach for the tools, the weapons he has made for me.

The battle is not against flesh and blood and cannot be fought by flesh and blood alone. I thank God for his preparation for me and for his Spirit that will fight for me and with me to fend off the true battle.

Cut Off - Monday Sports

Our home Internet service has been down for several days and it's been odd, frustrating and liberating. It's odd not coming in and flipping on the computer to check email or fantasy baseball stats or all that other important stuff I have to look at every night. It's frustrating because there is some information that I need to get to and can't and it's somewhat liberating because it's one less thing I get caught up doing.

A new modem is supposed to be delivered today and we should be hooked back in to the information portal tonight. I'm sure it will take a few calls to customer service to make it all work but it will be good to get tied back in.
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I enjoy the rain when it's convenient for me.
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People are making way too much of the Mavs last second loss. Did the refs blow it? Yes. Did that one thing lose the game for the Mavs? Not really. It's clear they can't hang with the Nuggets. My disdain for the Mavs plays in to my thoughts and I'm aware of that but it doesn't change the fact that they are done.
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On the other hand, the Rangers look like they are primed to go to the World Series. OK, that may be a bit over the top but they are in 1st and playing good so I'll enjoy it as long as I can.

That's playing good with Michael Young and Josh Hamilton on the bench hurting right now.
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What's up with Tiger?
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That's all today.

Tired = No Post

I'm beat and me being tired means the wheels in my noggin' turn slower than normal and I have had nothing to post but babbling. I guess I could have posted that and tried to convince you I was typing in tongues.

The economy is confusing. It seems like it should turn around soon and then we hear that the big banks need another $65 million or billion in capital. Now, where do they go to get that in a bad economy? I don't think Chrysler will be loaning it to them since they will likely end up being owned by a foreign company who will benefit from US tax dollars being pumped into the company.

Any ideas where they will send the remaining prisoners from Gitmo? Obama's great idea of shutting it down to make us nicer people means those people have to either a) go back home and catch up on their terrorist techniques or b) be delivered to a prison in the U.S. I'm not seeing many hands go up for the people wanting them in their area.

Manny using steroids. Sad but not surprising. Who's left? Pujols? Howard?

Mariano Rivera gave up back-to-back home runs last night. That can't be a good sign of things to come for the Yankees.

I'm surprised people like Romo and Dirk don't find it easier to be a monk than date someone. Talk about scrutiny. And why does anyone care? Don't we have enough problems of our own? (Obviously that's not the case or People, National Enquirer, TMZ and the ilk would be out of business.)

I'm ready to be well again, to sleep through the night again and to feel good again. On the other hand, there's Romans 5:8 to think about. Hallelujah.

Why I'm A Rangers Fan

Did you see Chris Davis dive into the stands to catch a foul ball last night? EFFORT with big, bold capital letters.

OK, the idea for this blog started with why I'm not a Mavericks fan but watching Davis jump into the stands and almost make an incredible catch only solidified my feelings. I watched the Mavs today in the 3rd and 4th quarter and saw a team with no heart. Kidd throws balls everywhere and the few that do go to teammates go right by them with little if any effort. Dirk gets a technical when things are really starting to fall apart and gets a chance to take the ball hard to the hoop - maybe drawing a foul, maybe dunking it to make a statement. What does he do? He trys to finesse his way under the arm of the defender and misses the layup. Then he wanders back down the court with the most blank expression you can fathom. The coach is sitting on the bench looking like Rick Perry - he knows he got the job but just can't figure out how he did it or what he's supposed to do next. Maybe he'll convince the Mavericks to secede from the NBA.

The Rangers aren't good every year. Shoot, you can count the number of years they've been good on one hand but they have several players who don't quit, who lead with actions and words. I'll take Michael Young and his selflessness and Ian Kinsler and his determination and Hank Blalock and his perseverance and Chris Davis and his doing whatever it takes and Josh Hamilton and his struggle and Andrew Jones and his smile while climbing out of a deep hole and Nelson Cruz who everyone says can't make it but keeps fighting and Ron Washington and his character when everyone says he needs to go...I'll take those guys over the Mavs every day of the week. (Yes, I realize there are no pitchers on my list but hopefully they will show up one day.)

After today, I don't think I can stomach another Mavs game for awhile. So here's to hoping that the Rangers make it over .500 for the year and the guys keep fighting no matter where they are in the standings and maybe, just maybe, we get some pitching that is hard to expect for Rangers fans.

Closing the Blog

I'm shutting down the blog until next Monday to prevent the swine flu.

I may be blind to the problem but I think there is a lot of overreaction. I don't blame people but just chuckle silently. Maybe I'll be proved to have been too unconcerned. In the meantime, I'll keep washing my hands more and doing what I can to keep it away.

My son plays in a baseball tournament this weekend and they have suspended the post-game handshake between teams in an effort to thwart spreading the disease.

Until Monday, be well.

Swine Flu and Arlen Specter

I have a sinus infection or something of that sort that is wearing me out today. I'm going home in a bit to try and get some sleep that I have missed the last 2 nights. I'm sure you are all happy to know that. :)
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I don't know what makes the swine flu worse than the regular flu. The deaths from this flu are tragic but I hear about deaths from the flu every year. I certainly don't want it and hope those who have it will recover.

I can't imagine the death of a 23 month old from swine flu. My heart goes out to that family.
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Arlen Specter has converted from Republican to Democrat. I don't understand how a sitting legislator can do that and it not require an immediate vote to see if the people of his state want to replace him. It should certainly apply both ways but I don't think it's fair to the country or the people he represents for him to change his party affiliation without laying out his reasoning and being subjected to a new election under the new party.
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I used to eat and breathe politics. Now I don't want to think about it much. At what point the voting is over, there's not much I can control. However, the change of Specter's affiliation and the pending Minnesota race can give the Democrats a super majority in the Senate (I think) and that does give me some concern.
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The Mavericks beat San Antonio and I didn't see a minute of it. I don't like the team, I don't care for the coach and the owner can easily turn me off. From what little I've seen, I would be a fan if the keep JJ Berea and Bass and ship the rest off and only bring in players I approve of.
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The Rangers are back to .500 and battling through some games for wins. Go Rangers!
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God is so good. As I learn to trust him more each day, I find life to be more and more peaceful. It doesn't mean things are perfect or I don't encounter problems but there is peace.

I hope you are finding the blessings, love, mercy, grace and hope that God affords everyone single one of us.

Beauty

I watched a beautiful thing last night as a young lady was baptized after study and making a decision to turn her life over to Christ, our Lord.

Over the years I have rode a wave of thoughts on baptism. Is it essential? Is it necessary? Is it an act of obedience? Growing up in a Church of Christ fellowship, the necessity of baptism gets hammered pretty hard. After reading scripture and thinking about what I believe God is saying, I have come to the conclusion that baptism is essential, not out of obedience or following rules, but as an act of submission. It is a decided act to step in the water and leave an old life behind to start a new life. It is a thought-out act of following in Christ's footsteps, albeit much simpler, to show our submission to a life with Him. There is beauty in submission.

I love the language of Romans 6. I see beauty in the language of the writer. Verse 4-5 says "We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life. If we have been united (italics mine) with him like this in his death, we will certainly be united with him in his resurrection (bold mine)." I read this and wonder how someone would not RUN to the water after deciding to accept Christ and follow him because I see beauty in how God has allowed us to be united with Christ in death and in life.

Last night I saw glory and power and love and forgiveness and hope all wrapped up in a beautiful act of baptism.

Learning to Win

My son's baseball team had the best tournament of the year yesterday. His team was 1-12 coming in to the day and starting bracket play as the 9th (and last) seed. They played the 8th seed and got a 9-3 lead before letting the other team come back and almost win. Our guys prevailed 10-9 but it appeared they had the sense they would end up losing another one and played tentatively in the latter innings. The next game was against the #1 seed and we were off and running with a 5-0 lead before letting the other team tie it in the 5th inning and then watched as they scored the winning run in the 6th to beat us 6-5. Again, it looked like our boys got nervous and tight down the stretch afraid of blowing it instead of taking their play up another notch.

Sometimes, we get used to defeat and think that no matter how good things seem, it will all go away and we will be on the losing end. Or, we get so used to defeat that we learn to live in it thinking of victory as something the lucky people get.

My Christian walk has taken on that feel at times. I wanted to win, I wanted to live Christ-like but knew I had blown it before and would probably blow it again. I would get close and then let something move me back to my old ways. Praise God that I feel like I am moving away from that thinking and realizing that victories are there for the taking if I will trust in the Lord and live courageously for Him. I'm learning to walk in faith and turn away from my old thoughts of not being able to do the right thing, to win. I realize that the win isn't mine alone but a team victory. I win when I rely on God and allow Him to work through me using His perfect and wonderful Spirit and He gives me other people who want to help.

I want to continue to learn to win in God's plan for me. Victory is sweet and He has paved the way for me to enjoy it.

I Love My Church

I love my church. It is imperfect, filled with people who have all sorts of problems. It has the people who think instrumental music is wrong and those who don't take issue with it. It has people who have never had a drop of alcohol cross their lips and those who have battled addiction. It has people who think showing up every Sunday is what's most important and those who don't show up often but share the compassion of Christ with other people daily. It has people who's families are almost perfect and people who's families are in shambles. My church has people of all sizes and shapes, of various socio-economic backgrounds and, to some degree, different cultures and colors. My church is wonderful because in all it's greatness and problems, it is the church Christ created.

I read an article by Jud Wilhite tonight that reminded me why I love the church. Wilhite is the pastor of Central Christian Church in Las Vegas (yes, sin city) and he said something that really matches what I think about church.

"I believe with all my heart that the Church is the world's hope. Government can't change the heart. Education, as important as it is, can't change the heart. Healthcare and Social Security reform won't change the heart. Only God can do that. And He uses people - the Church - to reach out and impact others. Many people are cynical and skeptical about church. And who can deny all the scandals and hypocrisy that occur in the name of God? It is truly awful. Yet, for every scandal there are thousands and thousands of churches making a real difference and doing their best to help others."

I love my church and I hope God continues to give us opportunity to reach a lost and hurting world AND I hope we will meet the opportunity with the heart of Christ. I see it happening through different people in different ways and it excites me. The Church, the body of Christ, offers hope through the resurrected Savior.

Warriors

My image of a warrior is someone who is always ready for a fight, always prepared for battle, always looking for the enemy and ready to use all the weapons and tools they have to win the battle.

I wonder what happens when the battle is over. What does a warrior do? What goes through the mind of that person who is so ready for battle that they look forward to it because it has become their comfort zone? How easily can they adapt to peace? I wonder if it is scary to a warrior when the battle they are fighting comes to an end.

I have been reading and trying to better understand spiritual warfare and this is one of the questions I have been mulling. What happens to people who are in the midst of a spiritual battle and they see it coming to an end? Do they exhale and become thankful and relax or do they fear the end because they have equipped themselves to keep on fighting? Or what happens to them when they are between battles? They have been fighting then the fight subsides. How do they keep from getting lazy while enjoying the peace?

I know some of these questions are a little over the top and don't apply to every person and every situation. They are just thoughts I've had bouncing around in my head and in my heart. I have used them in looking at my life and how I have and will deal with spiritual battles. I don't think there is a one-size-fits-all answer to any of the questions but they are questions that make me stop, even haunt me a little.

I know this. God is good and will provide everything I need if I rely on him. It's when I rely on me that things fall apart. Maybe I'm coming up with those questions with a "me" mentality because none of them ask what God does in the heart of a warrior. I need to think about it some more.

May your hearts and lives be filled with His grace and peace.

30 More Hours of Sleep Would Be Good

I spent the weekend at Camp Deer Run with 100+ young people and some other adults. It was a spiritual retreat for our youth group and 4 other churches (2 from Arkansas, Bowie and Early) and a wonderful and wet time. I appreciate my time with our youth group because they always offer hope...hope for today and tomorrow, hope for more Christ-likeness, more openness about our Savior and hope that the kingdom of God will continue to become stronger and more in love with Him.

I saw some incredibly loving and caring youth ministers and their families and I was once again reminded how blessed we are to have Jacob and Heather Baker in our church family. I am repeatedly overwhelmed by their love for our kids and their desire to share Christ.
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I saw a report on the news today there is a case in front of the Supreme Court to decide whether schools can strip search children. It focuses around a girl who was 13 at the time, an honor student with no history of trouble. Another girl was caught with drugs and blamed it on the honor student. The honor student said she knew nothing about it so the Assistant Principal got the school nurse to strip search her. The girl recanted being down to just her undergarments and being told to take them off also. This was all done WITHOUT the parent's knowledge.

As I listened to the story, I thought about that happening to one of my kids. Now, if you know me well you know I have a bit of a temper. It doesn't go off often but when it does things tend to get broken. I can only imagine finding out that the school had strip searched one of my children without my knowledge and I'm pretty sure the temper alarm would go off and nothing good would happen after that.

I hope the Supreme Court uses some common sense and does not allow for strip searches without parental consent at a minimum. The 13 year old girl was horrified and ended up leaving that school because she was made fun of and worse.
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I'm really trying to work on my temper. As I have come to understand the spiritual battles for my heart better, I know that is one area that satan can use.
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Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind and with all your strength.

Denying Self

Learning to deny myself is hard. I've always lived in a world where what I thought/felt/knew/understood/imagined was my guiding principle. Moving to a life where I call on God to fill me with His desire seems like a much better way to live but I still try to interject what I think God would be happy with.

I've told people that God wants them to act, not just sit around and wait on Him and that's still kind of true but I don't think I was ever really waiting on Him. I thought I knew what God would want and I did it...or I did what I felt like was right or fair to me.

I want to live differently. I am trying to follow a path where I wait to hear from God and then try to act according to what I am led to, not what I create. It tries my patience and sometimes, I go back to my old routine of doing what I think is best. It's a hard habit to break and one I know the evil forces around me don't want me to break.

I want to press on, even when it's difficult. There have been days where I felt alone, like God wasn't there to guide me and then something happens that I know is His reminder that He is at work, not in my time but His.

I want to live for Him. I want to walk away from my thought processes of the past and move to a paradigm that is centered around God. Something I was reading earlier made the comment that we sometimes have to leave what is familiar to truly find God. We have to break out of our routine and go to a place that is new, maybe uncomfortable, so that we will cling to God and grow in Him. I'm ready to make that trip. I don't do it thinking it will be all smiles and sunshine but knowing there will be things that stretch me and challenge me but I will have all I need to overcome them...and all I have to do is call on God and trust in His glory and goodness to carry me through.

Amorality and Baseball

Scientists at USC released a report stating that Facebook and Twitter create the danger of an amoral society. There thought is that all the computer interaction takes out emotion and psychological issues we notice in face-to-face contact.

Fewer people talk as we have entered a world of texting, tweeting, abbreviations and so on. I wonder if the USC folks aren't on to something?
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Last week I was imagining the Rangers going 162-0. Today, I'm hoping they win another game.
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Speaking of the Rangers, 8 games into their season they are already planning to reschedule a game because it conflicts with the opening of JerryWorld and the first Cowboys game. We sure wouldn't anything getting in the way of that now, would we?
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That's it for today. God loves you.

Life

The sermon I heard Sunday morning was about life. Christ's death was a sobering and important event but his resurrected life is what gives us a future. His death brought reconciliation but his resurrection brought us life. I want to live in that, rejoice in that, give praise in that. Reconciled through death to sin and self, alive through the power that created the world and shook the earth.

Charge!

An Angel won the Masters. Some guy from Argentina. My man Phil made a good run at it and Kenny Perry had it in the bag then blew it.
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The Rangers bullpen stinks!
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Obama pulled the trigger on rescuing the freighter captain. He allowed Navy snipers to take out the pirates. Now, the pirates are saying they will strike back. They must be nuts.
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I spent a good part of the weekend watching our youth kids compete at LTC. It's a fun experience every time I go - being with friends and watching our kids perform. It takes a lot of effort to pull it off and I'm thankful for all the people who work with the kids all year to prepare them.
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I saw the "hot dog man" yesterday at church in Fort Worth. Some of you may remember the hot dog vendor at Rangers games who had a very distinct way of announcing that he was selling hot dogs. I've mimicked his voice with my kids from time to time. He was a celebrity of sorts and I've often wondered what happened to him. I found out yesterday. He has laid down his celebrity status so he can spend more time serving God. He realized the celebrity was all about him and was taking him down a road he didn't want to keep traveling.

I miss the hot dog man at ballgames but I much rather hear his compelling story of a desire to serve God.
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Our Savior is risen. He is no longer in the tomb. He defeated death for me and for you. Rejoice!

EOW Miscellaneous Thoughts

I've tried to hold the line on Obama-alarmism but this bill floating through the house seems a bit scary. Mandatory voluntary service? Seems odd. Something else I read said that religious-based service will not count. Hmmmm. Check it out. I've got more research to do myself.
http://www.worldnetdaily.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=92288
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Pirates have captured the captain of an American freighter. I want to avoid bloodshed and have tried to tone down my rhetoric over the past few years but I'm thinking a team or two of Navy Seals visiting the pirates (not a social call, mind you, but an all-out assault) might help slow down their desire to be involved in thievery and kidnapping.
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Tragic news about the Angels pitcher who just finished a great game and was killed after the game in a hit-and-run crash. 22 years old.
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I hope to watch the Passion of the Christ again this weekend. Each time I have watched it, it has become more personal to me and, while graphic, I appreciate the reminder of the pain Christ suffered for me. I talk about the sacrifice but it's easy to forget how much He suffered.
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I wonder how our faith would change if we knew we might be killed at any moment for being a Christian. Just a few days ago I was thinking it would be cool to have a bigger TV while at the same time, I bet someone was worried about being identified for professing Christ because they might be imprisoned or killed.
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God is love (1 John 4). Using that verse, I paraphrase 1 Corinthians 13 this way. God is patient, God is kind. God does not envy, God does not boast, God is not proud. God is not rude, God is not self-seeking, God is not easily angered, God keeps no record of wrongs. God does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. God always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind (Luke 10). Using that verse, I paraphrase 1 Corinthians 13 this way. I will be patient, I will be kind. I will not envy, I will not boast, I will not be proud. I will not be rude, I will not be self-seeking, I will not be easily angered, I will not keep record of wrongs. I will not delight in evil but will rejoice in the truth. I will always protect, always trust, always hope, always persevere. Today, that is what I will strive to do if I want to live in the image of God.

In Christ alone, my hope is found. God is so good. He offers me peace in times of storms, He offers me hope in times of despair, He offers me joy in times of sadness. He will carry my burden, He will mourn for me. I love God today like I have never loved God before. I pray that love grows, it prospers and spreads through me and fills me up.

I hope your Easter weekend is filled with the peace, love and joy that only comes from our Creator and Savior, the Lord God.

Run the Race

1 Corinthians 9:23-25 (New International Version)

²³I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings. ²⁴Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. ²⁵Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever.

Hebrews 12:1-3 (New International Version)

¹Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. ²Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. ³Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

These passages came to mind tonight during Bible study. I thought about the race we must run and what kind of race it is. Is it a sprint? I think that is often what we want it to be; a race that takes effort but where the goal is reached quickly but the race usually isn't quick. Is it a marathon? While our race may be long, I don't think distance is the only issue. I have settled on the idea that the race is often more like a steeplechase; long and grueling on it's own mixed with many obstacles that will wear us down, cause us to fall and render pain.

I don't know that any of those analogies are right but I do know this. The race we are running started with a glorious event that we are about to celebrate - the resurrection of the Christ. I want to keep my eyes fixed on the prize because a high price was paid on my behalf to receive it. I want to keep my eyes fixed on the prize because I want to know the pure joy of being in the presence of God.

Sports Wrap-up

It was a great day at the ballpark yesterday. Cold and windy outside, warm and sunny inside AND the Rangers smoked the Indians. Some impressions:
1. An Army band was there playing some pre-game music and the national anthem. Last year, the same band was playing at a game via a live feed from Afghanistan. Pretty cool that they were there to play live.
2. It was the first time I experienced a pre-game timing problem at a Rangers game. Two B-1 bombers flew over at the exact time they were supposed to but we were only halfway through the national anthem. You cannot hear a band playing or the person next to you singing when two B-1 bombers fly over you.
3. George Bush got a HUGE reception of cheers when he came out to throw the first pitch. It was a strike.
4. The Rangers infield played as good a game as they could play I think. Young Elvis Andrus made some great plays at shortstop and Michael Young looks like he'd always played 3rd base.
5. Every time Josh Hamilton comes up to bat, people expect a home run.
6. Jerry Jones was at the game. I expected to hear more boos when he walked out but maybe people didn't notice...or didn't care.
7. The Jerrydome is HUGE.
8. A kid stole 3rd base. It's a promo deal where the kid has to run from the left field fence, grab 3rd base and run back in 40 seconds. I thought it was pretty cool and then it turns out the boy who did it was sitting behind us. He was pumped. Funny thing was, someone else was supposed to do it and they couldn't find him and the boy behind us was walking by the people looking at the right time.
9. I like the checkerboard baseball field.
10. The crowd doesn't respond much to the people throwing t-shirts in the crowd.
11. I liked the old-time scoreboard in left field but the new video board is kind of neat. People who couldn't see the big screen above home run porch can get all the info now.

It was a fun day and a great start to the Rangers season. 161 more to go.
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North Carolina ran away with the game last night. They were my pick to win it all but I was afraid Ty Lawson would be injured and went with Memphis. Ty Lawson wasn't hurt enough not to play, was the Player of the Game and dominated throughout the tournament. It wasn't a great game to watch but not surprising.
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A different note. There's a funeral for the police officer killed in Bridgeport today in Decatur. I read part of an interview with the police officer's mother the other day and one of her statements is still with me. She talked about praying for the family of the guy who killed her son and talked about their loss also. Amazing grace and mercy from a woman who is suffering and a beautiful story for all of us. I know they will be in pain today and many other days but it seems their family is focused on the greater reward.

3 More Sleeps...

until Opening Day at The Ballpark! I think I heard that the Rangers won a record number of spring training games this year. I don't know what that means for the regular season but I find with the Rangers, you celebrate what you can.
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Tragedy struck a Bridgeport family yesterday. I still don't know the whole story but a guy rammed a police car killing the officer and leaving a wife and 5 year old girl without their husband and dad coming home. I offered up a prayer for them last night but really didn't even know what to say other than leaving it in God's hands to hold them up and to let them see Him in this.

I was in one of our stores the other day helping the manager interview people. A question I often ask is "tell me a difficulty you have worked through and what you learned from it." Her difficulty was that her 19 year old son was shot and killed a few years ago and what she learned was to quit hating God and let Him into her heart so He could bring healing and peace. She admitted she still struggles but is getting closer to God everyday.

I don't understand what's going on at times but I know He is there and He wants to help me overcome what obstacles are thrown in my way.

I hope you find peace and joy that only comes from God.

How Long Can This Last?

That may be what some of you say when reading my ramblings. I looked back and realized I've been posting blogs for over 3 years. It doesn't seem like it's been very long at all but I also think I'm still 30 sometimes so the mind does play tricks on me.
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It's hard when the economic crisis hits close to home. The husband of one lady in my office just found out his company is laying people off and if the tide doesn't turn quickly may shut the doors. Another husband's company has discontinued offering insurance because of money troubles.

Obama has fired one CEO and I wonder if he will put pressure on others. I'm no fan of unions so I look at the UAW skeptically wondering what they will do to help. I saw today that some AT&T employees may go on strike. Really? Do they think that's a good idea right now? I bet there are A BUNCH of people who will gladly take their jobs.

I'm still thinking this country is going to reap what we have sown and it will not be pretty or easy. I don't know when and how but at some point, something has to give.
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I don't think I would have ever dreamed I would blog about Kris Kristofferson or a song he has sung. You just never know.
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A good friend of mine (HINT: he's Jamaican, a teacher at a Ft. Worth law school, missionary and preacher) turned me on to looking forward to things based on the number of "sleeps" before they happened. It started with a trip to Brazil when we counted down the number of sleeps until we were back in our own beds.

4 more sleeps to Rangers opening day game! I'm looking forward to seeing more of the Josh Hamilton story being written. Every interview I have seen with him has included his faith and reliance on God. I'm looking forward to: seeing how Michael Young makes the transition to 3rd, seeing Elvis Andrus make some incredible plays from shortstop, seeing if Ian Kinsler can get started on another MVP-like season, seeing how Chris Davis does in his sophomore year, seeing if Millwood delivers in his contract year, seeing where Saltalamacchia and Blalock end up and seeing if Teagarden is going to be the super-catcher people are talking about.

I have no expectations but only hope that the Rangers play competitive ball.
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Me and Bobby McGee

A friend of mine often uses quotes from Christian writers to help illustrate an idea on his blog. Me, I use Kris Kristofferson. I heard him singing "Me and Bobby McGee" the other day and a line from the song has stuck with me. Freedom's just another word for 'nothing left to lose'. Truth Kris, truth.

I'm not here to advocate giving up everything I have. I have wrestled the past few years with material possessions and what makes God happy. Where I went off the rails a bit was worrying that I had too much when the problem was really with where my heart is. Am I more concerned about helping those who need help or am I more concerned with protecting my assets? When my heart is attuned to God, when my desire is to serve Him first using whatever gifts I have to offer, the material isn't a problem. But when I'm more concerned about my assets and adding to my collection - my heart strays from God and His desire for me to serve in His kingdom.

Having nothing to lose isn't just about material possessions, it's about our heart. When I am living in the light, following God's desire for me, living in concert with Him so that when something does go wrong, when something is lost, I am free to let it go and know God has a plan for me. Freedom is letting go of everything I'm tempted to grab hold of and just letting God hold on to me, trusting that He will never drop me, never let me go.

Thanks for those great words Kris.

I hope you are also finding the freedom and peace that God offers.