Wounds

Borrowing from John Eldredge today...

Friday, May 27, 2011

Honor Wounds

You will be wounded. Just because this battle is spiritual doesn't mean it's not real; it is, and the wounds a man can take are in some ways more ugly than those that come in a firefight. To lose a leg is nothing compared to losing heart; to be crippled by shrapnel need not destroy your soul, but to be crippled by shame and guilt may. You will be wounded by the Enemy. He knows the wounds of your past, and he will try to wound you again in the same place. But these wounds are different; these are honor-wounds.

Blaine was showing me his scars the other night at the dinner table. "This one is where Samuel threw a rock and hit me in the forehead. And this one is from the Tetons when I fell into that sharp log. I can't remember what this one was from; oh, here's a good one-this one is from when I fell into the pond while chasing Luke. This one is a really old one when I burned my leg on the stove camping." He's proud of his scars; they are badges of honor to a boy . . . and to a man. We have no equivalent now for a Purple Heart of spiritual warfare, but we will. One of the noblest moments that await us will come at the wedding feast of the Lamb. Our Lord will rise and begin to call those forward who were wounded in battle for his name's sake and they will be honored, their courage rewarded. I think of Henry V's line to his men,

He that outlives this day, and comes safe home,
Will stand a tip-toe when the day is named,
And rouse him at the name of Crispian . . .
Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars, And say, "These wounds I had on Crispin's day."
Old men forget; yet all shall be forgot,
But he'll remember with advantages
What feats he did that day; then shall our names . . .
Be in their flowing cups freshly remember'd.

(Wild at Heart ,176-77) 




Grace and peace to you.

That There Is Rotation

I went to the Rangers game last night with my son to meet my dad and mom and to celebrate his 79th birthday.  It was all good until the 4th inning when the clouds above us started to swirl which was fun to watch while ominous all at the same time.  Now, I'm a storm watcher so I thought it was pretty cool but people around us were getting a little antsy.  Once they covered the field and some rain drops fell, my parents decided the best course of action was to head back to East Texas while I thought the best course of action was to watch the tarp blow on the field since the storms were coming from the west and I didn't want to drive into them.  Well, the rain really started to fall which drove us to the concourse and then someone decided it was best to send us all down to the tunnel.  Maybe it was the sirens going off and all the texts we were getting saying tornadoes were headed for us.  So, my son, me and 25,000 of my good friends hung out outside the Rangers clubhouse doors, cheered for a few players who walked through, while sweating it out.  Finally, they sent us out so the game could restart only to find out there would be a second rain delay which was my exit cue. 


So, a good night with my dad, a good night watching storms, a good night hanging out below the ballpark and a good night being with my favorite son. 


It's now 1:00 in the morning and I need to go to sleep but also need to prepare 2 Bible lessons to be delivered later today.  This is one of those times where praying that God will give me the words to say takes on a whole new level of meaning! 


Grace and peace to you.

One Person

I got this letter from a ministry I support recently.


Dear Jeff:

The death of the world's #1 public enemy evokes a range of emotions.  Relief that one menace is gone.  Pride at the skill and determination of those responsible for executing justice.  Sorrow over a soul gone to hell and all those souls he took with him.  Hope for a more peaceful world, yet aware of the sobering reality that the world is still a dangerous place because we are all of a fallen breed...mankind.

One thing to note: The power of one individual.  So far one individual has cost us $1.3 trillion and over 5,000 American lives in his pursuit.  And trillions more lost to the Global economy by him and his followers' actions.

Conversely, one person named Moody shared the love and life of Christ with ten million people.  Because one person told him about the Gospel of Christ.  One person named Carey ignited the modern missions movement.  One preacher named Graham...


And on it goes...


You can have that kind of influence for good and eternity by praying and going with us.  Or giving through us to reach people for Christ.  You may turn the next Osama into the next Dwight, William or Billy.  Imagine your opportunity to impact this world for good, forever!


Now, the first paragraph may be a little too flag-waving for my taste but what struck me was the idea of what I can do to change the world forever.  If someone is out there reading this, it's about what you can do to change the world.  Forever.  Will I answer the call?  Will you?

Grace and peace to you.

Chrisitan Relief Fund

I got an email the other day from a Sub-T friend about Christian Relief Fund and their effort to win some money that Chase Bank is donating to charity.  Go to Chrisitan Relief Fund and check them out and like them on Facebook to help them help others.


There are so many need charities around the world.  Thursday, I was telling my son a story I had heard about a guy I know buying a used motor home off someone in Utah.  The motor home was parked in one of two matching hangars owned by an inventor.  In one hangar was the motor home and a private jet with capacity for 14 people.  In the other hangar was another 14 passenger private jet and 36 Lamborghini vehicles.  I told him the story of the inventor flying his son and 10 friends to Las Vegas last Saturday for lunch and to ride the roller coaster at New York New York before returning home in time for prom.  I'm sure it's a fabulous life and nothing I can comprehend.  I don't know anything about the man and what he does with his time and money but we figured out how many water wells those 36 cars could drill through Charity: Water and it was an incredible number.  In fact, selling those cars would double the amount of money that Charity: Water has raised. 


Hopefully, you feel like you need to go donate money now.  Here's the ticket:  Go to the Camp Coldwater Charity: Water site and donate some moolah.  Our youth group is trying to raise $5,000 to drill a well to help people have clean water.  It's a great cause.


Grace and peace to you.

Catalyst

I spent last Thursday and Friday at a Christian leadership conference called Catalyst Dallas.  If you didn't go, all I can say is that you missed out.  It included some great content from Pastors, leaders and leaders of social justice causes. 


If you've never heard Dr. John Perkins speak, you're missing out.
If you've never heard Christine Caine speak, you might not know what a whirlwind feels like.
Andy Stanley, Craig Groeschel and Matt Chandler delivered some great messages on leadership in the church and in our lives.
Lecrae, Propaganda, Seryn and other artists displayed talents in sharing the message in ways other than the spoken word. 

I left knowing one thing.  I want to be a catalyst for sharing the gospel message and helping people know how much God loves them and what he has already done for them.

Grace and peace to you.

Catching Up

I'm behind.  Behind at work.  Behind on stuff I need to do at home.  Behind on Bible study lessons I need to complete.  Behind on school work.  I'm running behind and I can't seem to catch up but if I fail, I won't worry because some of the things keeping me behind are wonderful moments that allow me to see God at work.


I'm thankful for friends who share their darkest secrets and deepest hurts trusting that I will continue to love them for who they are in God's eyes.


I'm thankful for friends who encourage me to follow the teacher and his teachings to help the least of these.


I'm thankful for friends who are struggling with God's ways and share those struggles with me reminding me that I'm not alone in my own struggles of understanding "why?" may not be understandable in my small way of thinking.


I'm thankful for friends who accept me as I am at any given time - whether I'm on top of the world or being drug along the concrete by an imaginary bus that just ran over me knowing that the up's and down's are a part of a healing process that isn't always easy, isn't always pretty, isn't always without pain but a process.

I'm even thankful at times to be running behind.  It reminds me that there is much to do and getting comfortable and settling in isn't always a good thing if it allows me to stop obsessive pursuit of Christ and living a life worthy of his calling.

Maybe I'll catch up one day.  Until then, I hope my life is filled with moments that remind me God is in control when I don't understand completely and when I see his handiwork with perfect clarity.

Grace and peace to you.

Voting For The Lesser Evil

Voting for the lesser evil is the way I view the democratic process in our country these day.  Maybe I'm cynical, maybe I don't pay close enough attention, maybe I'm right.

I heard Obama was in Austin attending two fundraisers-one for 750 people at $1,000 each and one at a private home costing $35,000 per person (and Obama is no different than the Republican candidate).  Now, I wonder how much publicity the candidates would get if they encouraged people to take all the campaign money and give it to charities that help the poor, the hungry, the homeless and got out to help promote those organizations.  Would they get enough press to let me make a decision on who to vote for based on how much they tried to help those who needed the most help?

I don't know the answer but I know the current solution gives me a great disdain for poli-ticks.

I'm at the final day of Catalyst Dallas today (www.catalystdallas.com) and I hope I'm having as much fun as I did last year.  Catalyst is a Christian leadership conference and something I've been looking forward to since I left the previous Catalyst conference I attended outside of Atlanta.  

God loves you.  Wherever you are.  Whatever you are doing.  God love you.

Grace and peace to you.

Lifebread

My friend's Dusty and Cecily (and Cassaundra from Decatur shows up too).

Grace and peace to you.

Ministry

Ministry is using our gifts & resources to serve others. There is real joy in serving something bigger than our own agenda. -Lecrae Moore

I had the opportunity to minister to some folks I don't normally come in contact with on Sunday and I thank God for brothers who challenge me to step outside myself and my agenda.  

Our church set a goal of $100,000 for a special contribution going to our missions work on October 9.  It's a crazy amount of money and I don't know if we can reach it or not.  I do know God wants to use us to do unbelievable things.  Maybe $100k is a part of his plan, maybe not.  Either way, whatever we raise will be for his glory, not ours.  If we raise $25,000, it's for him.  If we raise $101,000, it's for him.  I hope no one will feel let down if we don't hit the number or feel pumped about ourselves if we do reach the goal.  It's a man-made number and maybe God has different plans for us.  Maybe his plans are going to be something bigger than we will ever dream of on our own.  Who knows?  I do know we will never know if we don't put our trust in him and allow him to use us as he knows best.

Grace and peace to you.

Obsessed...Again

I'm back to Chapter 8 of Crazy Love, the chapter about what it might look like to be obsessed with loving God.  It's my favorite chapter.  It's a challenging chapter for me.  It's an encouraging and motivating chapter for me.  I can't wait to start studying it in our Bible study at work on Wednesday.  

I wonder how God feels when I'm more upset by a call the umpire makes than I am by the people living under a bridge with little to eat.

I wonder how God feels when I buy enough clothes to wear for 3 weeks without wearing the same thing twice never thinking about the person wearing the same thing day in and day out.

I wonder how God feels when I dream of building a big, comfortable house while people are living in the woods on good weather nights and under a semi-trailer on bad weather nights.  

I know all the arguments.  Those people don't want to find a job.  Those people are willing to take whatever they can get for free.  Those people drink too much, do drugs too much, have put themselves in that position.  

I can make the argument but I wonder why Jesus doesn't make that argument when he tells me to take care of the poor, the hungry, the naked...the least of these.  Jesus doesn't tell me to make judgments about their intentions, to qualify them or to be more worried about catching someone cheating than just trusting in his goodness and guidance.  

I want to live more obsessed with what God is calling me to do in his kingdom.

Grace and peace to you.

Thoughts from Sunday night

I was watching a movie Sunday night and turned it off to catch the 10:00 o'clock news to find that Osama Bin Laden had been killed.  I sat there listening for quite some time with no words to say but as I watched, several thoughts started to flow through my mind.

I posted this on Facebook, a question borrowed from Chad Holtz, a Facebook friend, "A watching, cynical world will be looking to see how people who claim to follow Jesus will react to the death of a terrrorist. How does Jesus make a difference in our view of such events?"


As I watched the ongoing news, I was struck by the celebration on the TV while wondering if people really believe this is the end of terrorism.  When our nation is attacked, most people rally together and, as a country, we are more engaged in a war mentality.  I wonder if it will be any different for Osama's followers, if their resolve will grow stronger and their attacks will be ramped up.  


The celebrations I'm watching don't seem so much different than what I see from Middle East countries when they celebrate their attacks against us.  


I can understand what has happened and I can understand the decisions that were made.  What I'm not comfortable with is the response of so many.  Facebook comments that thank God that Osama is dead hurt my heart.  People singing God Bless America in response to someone's death doesn't strike me as a blessing.  Is God celebrating this death?  Is God going to bless this country because we killed someone who wanted to persecute us?  


I won't begin to suggest I know more about what living the life of a Christ-follower is than the next person but I can't help believe scriptures that suggest that we should celebrate in sharing in sufferings mean singing and dancing in the streets because of one man's death fly in the face of what God would have us do.


I pray that this world will know peace but, more, I pray that those who want to be disciples will act as disciples and that God will open my eyes to know what that looks like in my life.


Grace and peace to you.

Freebird

I'm listening to Third Day and thinking about Lynard Skynard as I write this so Freebird just seemed like the right title for the moment.


I'm on my way to NYC and hoping for 0 plane problems and good weather.  Nothing like a software conference to get me jazzed up.  Woohoo!  I am planning on sneaking in a Yankees game so getting to see Yankee stadium will make it a little better.

I don't like the Yankees but can't cheer for the Blue Jays either so I'll just be there to soak in the sights.


I'm not excited about missing class tonight.  It's going to be a great night of prayer and sharing among our youth group.  I love just getting to watch them and see God at work in their hearts.


I start school next Monday.  YIKES!  I did get a 100 in the Student Orientation program but it was really simple.  I doubt all the projects will be so generous.  I'm excited but also a bit nervous.  My first round of school wasn't a great experience on the grading front but I think my motivations are a bit different now. 

I'm so thankful for friends that challenge me to be a better person and a better Christ-follower.  I'll ask you to pray for some friends who are doing great things in the kingdom with people that most would overlook and pray that their efforts will be fruitful.  I hope to join them again soon and be the hands and feet of Jesus to suffering people. 

That is all for today.  Unless something fascinating happens in the next two days I'm likely done blogging until next week. 

Grace and peace to you.

Markers

We mark a lot of events.  Birthdays (happy birthday Shannon!) and anniversaries are maybe the most common but we also mark the bad days and bad events.  I'm not sure if many people are like me but I tend to remember the bad markers better than the good markers.  Sunday was one of those markers, an anniversary of sorts that is a painful reminder of something lost.  It's odd that I would spend the day vacillating between it being a day of resurrection and hope and a day of what is dead and lost, not odd that I would be thinking about one or the other but that they occurred on the same day.  I was fortunate to be with a great church family and some very, very dear friends that day but I also needed and wanted some time alone to process, to cry, to read and maybe to heal a little.  I was granted both time with others and time alone on Sunday.


I often wish I could have a do-over.  There are so many choices I don't think I'd make again.  I realize that many of my choices have led me to where I am and I don't get the do-over so where do I go from here?  Well, I'll start by crying out to Jesus for help, for guidance, for courage, for strength to take the next step, to keep moving forward and to use my experiences, good or bad, to help others who are crying out for help too.  I've been told by some people I couldn't have reached them without some of my experiences.  Honestly, it's a tool I wish I didn't have but it is what it is and my next step to growing closer to God is to use what I have and what he is giving me and go from there.  I can't rewrite the past but I can work on making the right decision today.  So, I'll keep crying out to Jesus to lead me.


Grace and peace to you.

Hope

Yesterday wasn't the best of days for me which is hard to say relative to what the day was about.  I'm thankful it was a day about hope.  Maybe I'll say more about it this week. 


I spent the weekend listening to Third Day.  So many of their songs speak to me and so I will be sharing some of those this week. 




I am thankful to be one of the children of God and I will rejoice in knowing he loves me.

Grace and peace to you.

Things Learned in the Airport

Wednesday was a not-so-fun day at the airport.  My first flight back was delayed, then delayed again, then delayed again.  They got me booked on another flight because the problem was a hydraulic leak and it can take hours to find those.  So, I was excited to get on a plane leaving at 2:00, then 2:30 and finally 2:50 because I would still get home in time for church.  Uh, negative Ghostrider.  The pilot comes on just minutes into our flight to let us know that the landing gear wasn't working properly, we would fly in circles long enough to burn off 10,000 pounds of fuel and then give the landing a go and let us know there would be firetrucks and all the emergency response folks standing by.  The landing was fine and all was well.  Here are some random thoughts.
During the delay, I was in line with a man from Chile who was VERY upset about the delays and wanted everyone to know.
I was also in line with a couple from Brazil who felt very inconvenienced that the plane was delayed and thought they should move to the front of the line to be serviced first since they were sitting in first class. 
There are some people who get really mad when someone tries to cut in line.
Mad women are the most persuasive in getting people to quit cutting in line. 
The ladies working the desk must be given some type of sedative to stand there, take the heat and not pull a gun on someone.
During a flight in which people think there's the possibility of a very bad ending, there are multiple ways of handling the stress but applause seems the general consensus when  everyone realizes the plane isn't going to explode.
A husband asked to switch seats so he could sit by his wife.  The whole time they were sitting together, he never held her hand.  I thought it odd but give him credit for at least moving to be closer to her.
Some people use humor in stressful situations.  Sometimes it's very bad humor and they would do better to put a gag in their mouth.
Some people get real nervous and real quiet but the fear in their eyes is evident.
I felt like I was at peace the whole time knowing the ending could be THE END.  I wasn't in control of anything so I said a couple of prayers for the pilots and the souls onboard. 
I did realize I need to leave a note of what life insurance policies I have before I fly out again on Wednesday.
After defying death (yes, that's a bit exaggerated but it makes for good drama), you'd think people would be happier and counting their blessings.  Not the man from Chile.  Instead, he exhibited what it's like when a horse's behind actually speaks. 
If I was a desk agent and a little man from Chile said the things to me he said to that poor lady, someone would lose a head and someone would wind up in jail I think. 


All in all, I was just glad to get home 9 hours late and sleep, all to briefly, in my own bed. 


The song that kept cycling through my head the whole trip was "It Is Well".  I want to be able to live it out daily.  The ups, the downs, the victories, the challenges, I want to face it all knowing whatever comes my way, it is well with my soul. 


Grace and peace to you.

The Power of Words

I'm in Las Vegas so I'm stealing content for the blog today. 


The power of my words is something I don't always harness or approach with caution.  Lord, help me say the things you want said, help me to use my words to encourage, build up and offer help.





Grace and peace to you.

The Babbling Brook

That's kind of how I feel about this post today.  Just babbling.  I'm on my way to Las Vegas.  Woohoo.  I've got $5,000 in cash and I'm ready to win big.  Truth is I'm on my way to Vegas and I have $40 in my pocket because I don't see myself gambling too much.  One the last trip I wagered $3 and won $6 I think.  I am OVER THE TOP.  Ha-ha.  I'm ready to take care of business (the real reason for the trip) and get home.

I saw the lead-in to Entertainment Tonight Monday night and wanted to throw the remote at the TV.  The Royal Wedding?  Seriously, is that the most important thing people have on their plate?  Contrast that with a Facebook post by a friend on Saturday that he was with his church youth group in downtown Dallas trying to serve the homeless. 

I'm glad I've attained perfection so I can criticize others.

That's a BIG joke folks.  Still, how much press can 2 people getting married receive as well as Charlie Sheen and whether Susan Lucci is going to join Desperate Housewives?  Do these people not know the Rangers game is on TV? 

I don't know what to say after watching the news and watching the homes burning near Possum Kingdom lake except, "Lord, send rain and protect the firefighters and others who are putting their lives on the line and those who are volunteering their time."

I've been keeping up with some Facebook posts by several who are debating the existence of a literal hell.  It's another argument that does draw some interest from me but one that, in the end, matters little to me.  Maybe it will be a bigger issue to know these answers one day but for now, I just want to love God with all my heart, soul, mind and strength and serve others as I believe he has called me to do and prepare for an eternity in heaven.  Now, I'm not going to start telling everyone to enjoy life on earth and live it up because they have a free pass to heaven because I don't believe that is what the Bible says but if I get to heaven and it's filled up with people who claimed to be non-believers, murderers, drug users, liars, and whoever else God decides is worthy to be there, I'll say HALLELUJAH and ask to be pointed to the fly fishing area.  (I also want to know where the golf course is so I can go say hi to Rick.)

To that end, if and when I have all the facts about everything God knows, I'll share it here.  Until then, I'll post what I believe, be willing to listen to other ideas and try to know more about my incredible father and Lord.

Grace and peace to you.

Roll The Stone Away

Easter is coming and one song I always think about and haven't heard in years is Roll That Stone Away sung by Acapella.  I used to have it on a cassette tape (yep, that long ago) and played it until the tape was worn out I think and haven't found the CD it was recorded on.  Thank heavens for youtube.com.


Here's the song and let me tell you, if you don't start keeping the beat with your foot or hand if not just flat-out dancing around the room (my preferred listening style), you better check your pulse because I think you might be dead.





Grace and peace to you.

Brought To Tears

First, I've gone too long without a post about the Rangers.  8-3  (EDIT: A reader pointed out the Rangers are 9-3.  That's the danger in writing a post in advance and then coming back to edit it later.  And the mad cow disease.) now and not in World Series form the past 2 games.  Still, I remember a start just 3 years ago that was more like 3-8.


Josh Hamilton went down yesterday with a broken something in his shoulder and is out 4-6 weeks.  That's a tough break for the Rangers but something I think they will come to expect with Hamilton and something that will be a big factor in his contract talks.  I usually get frustrated with players who are hurt often but I feel differently about Hamilton.  Yes, I'm a fan and probably jaded but having read his book and knowing what he battles, I cheer for him to keep coming back, to keep overcoming obstacles, to stick to the straight path when the pain of hurting and not playing is what led him down a crooked road before.  I want him to succeed simply because I see some of my life wrapped up in his ups-and-downs and realize life is about more than baseball, more than a stint on the DL and more than homeruns.  It's about getting back up when you've been knocked down, even when you've brought so much pain on yourself, and moving forward in a positive direction.  Yep, I'm an unabashed Hamilton fan to the end.

_________________________________________


OK, the brought to tears part.  I'm a fairly emotional guy and the kids in our youth group got to me last night.  Jacob brought a lesson about making war against our sins and at the end of class offered them the opportunity to write their sins on the board to share with their friends and the people they want praying for them.  Yes, you read that correctly.  Our teenagers were openly writing their sins on the board and it brought me to tears.  Their honesty, their openness, their hearts desiring to be closer to God, their trust.  It was moving to me, someone who tried for years to hide my faults and failings.


I'm so thankful for a leader like Jacob who has a such a great big heart for God and for our youth and I'm thankful for a group of young people who want to live authentically and grow in their relationship with God.  It was a powerful thing for an old guy to experience.


Grace and peace to you.

Brandon

God allowed me to cross paths with Brandon this past weekend.  Brandon is the guy who reminds me that whatever my pain is, there is someone out there with more pain than me and more pain than I want to come my way.  His parents were busted for cooking meth when he was about 13.  He bounced between families for awhile.  He's been in jail, two brothers are in jail, one brother is handicapped, the mother is now married to a not-so-nice guy and his wife had just kicked him out because he doesn't have a job and can't find work right now.  He also has some self-esteem issues because of what he's lived through and he has Trichotillomania.  He was trying to get somewhere to stay and didn't have the money to buy gas to get there.  A friend of mine gave him gas money and another friend got to share some experiences and words from God and I got to be in the presence of one of God's hurting children.  I got a reminder of how blessed I am.  I got a reminder that the suffering I experience may be bad, may be the worst thing I've ever known but it is temporary.  I've been knocked down and landed on my feet.  Brandon has been knocked down and kicked while he was still down.  I think he wants a relationship with God but he can't see how to get there today because he's fighting to survive, to keep a family together, to take care of a brother no one else wants to, to find a job so he can eat - problems I cannot comprehend.


I was blessed to be able to pray with Brandon, to ask God to fill him with peace, to allow him to see what God has in store for him and to ask God to put healing into Brandon's life surrounding him with God's love and anyone else that God can lead his way that will help Brandon see that he is a child, worthy to be called a son of God just as he is.


I am thankful to have met Brandon and I do hope God will cross our paths again and allow me to be some light into his life. 


Oh Lord, please allow me to glorify you and to be light to those who are hurting, who are lost, who are wandering, who are being beaten down by this world and the pain that it holds.  Work through me so I may say your words and bring hope to someone who is or has lost it.


Grace and peace to you.

Happy Birthday

Today is the birthday of a very, very good friend.  He is someone who has consistently spoken joy and hope into my life.  He is someone who has spurred me to be a better person, even more, to know God more intimately.  He shared his love of mission work with me and encouraged me to experience the great commission personally.  He has loved me when I have told him the darkest, ugliest secrets of my life and he has prayed for me without ceasing.  He is my friend but he is so much more than that.  He is my brother and someone I love without condition.  Happy birthday Everett.

I'm still baffled when people don't believe we are twins though.  I'm on the left and Everett is on the right. 


Monday night was another great night for Wise County Christian Counseling.  The work being done by Beverly, Jenna and Staci is incredible and hundreds of people are being helped.  They helped 292 families in 2010.  292!  That's awesome but there is still a waiting list to get in.  The other cool thing to me is that our average revenue per session is $38.  Most people pay $100 at a minimum for a counseling session so we know we are achieving our mission of bringing excellent, Christ-centered counseling to people who couldn't afford it otherwise.  The people there last night and many others play an integral role in bringing hope to the hurting through their donations to WCCC so our counselors can continue to do what they do to offer hope, healing and reconciliation to others.

We  had a great financial response last night and I know those people and many others are praying that God will continue to use WCCC for his glory.

We were blessed to hear from Janet White last night, the widow of Randy White who was a Bridgeport Police officer who was murdered in the line of duty.  Janet is an incredible woman and I know she is a source of help strength for many people through what she has suffered and through her faith in God.
 
“A new command I give you: Love one another [emphasis mine]. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.   By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another [emphasis mine].” - John 13:34-35

Grace and peace to you. 

Monday Madness

The fires in West Texas this weekend were horrible to watch on TV.  Over 80,000 acres burned and the fire was 0% contained at one point Saturday night.  On Sunday night there was a bunch of wet stuff falling out of the air.  I still haven't identified what it is. 


The government almost shut down last week.  I think it would be great if we could lay off Congress for a year.  The whole uproar about all the bad things that "could" happen with the government shut down was a bunching of meaningless murmuring to me as I reflect on school teachers being laid off and children potentially losing educational opportunities.


I have 0% faith in our current government.  There isn't a politician I trust and you can't sustain a country with trillions of dollars in debt.  Someone will have to pay and I believe it will be our enemies picking up the tab as they take over a country that was founded on principles and sacrifices that our current legislators have forsaken.


I'm thankful my full faith and trust is resting on one who is greater than this country and greater than anything this world can offer or take away.


And Lord haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll.
It is well with my soul.


They sang this song at the funeral of 14 year-old Travis Sitzman last week and I thought it a perfect hymn to sing during such a time when what has happened cannot be understood.  I want to live a life so wrapped up in God that whatever happens, good or bad, understood or confusing, it will be well with my soul.





Grace and peace to you.

If You Love Jesus...

...live like it.

I need to be reminded that I should love Jesus because of who he is and what he has done because he loves me completely; not because I can go to heaven now but because he loves me so very, very much.

I look forward to Bible study today.  I think there will be some powerful stories shared and hearts changed - all because Jesus loves everyone who will be there. 

I want to live in such a way that people know I love Jesus completely. 

Grace and peace to you.

4-0, UConn and 1 Loss

I'm sitting here thinking how exciting it is that the Rangers are 4-0 behind real good pitching and a bunch of homeruns.  Honestly, I wish the Rangers were grinding out runs instead of hitting bombs because the bats will cool off but, hey, I'll enjoy it while I can.


I'm sitting here after just watching One Shining Moment which is played at the end of every Final 4.  I love the videos and good for UConn and their big win.  I wish Butler could have pulled one out, similar to Texas Western many moons ago, except without the racial overtones.


I'm sitting here wondering how the parents of a 14 year old boy who was found dead Sunday morning are coping because I cannot fathom what they are going through.


The Rangers are 4-0, UConn is the National Champion for a brief while and the Sitzman family will not see their young son grow up.  Two of those things make me happy but it's fleeting and one of those things just gnaws at my gut while I wonder why.


It's a question I won't know an answer to but it upsets me all the same.  It makes me ask God "why?" without expecting an answer.  It makes me want to touch my kids, to see their smile, to hear their voice.  I'm fortunate to only be separated from them for brief periods but they are excruciating periods of time.


I wonder if God feels that way about me.  I wonder if he wants me in heaven with him as soon as possible or if he's content because he can see me here and now.  Another question I won't have an answer to anytime soon.  Nor do I need one.


However, it's times like this when my faith is shakier.  It's times like this when I have more questions than contentment.  Still, I know that God's ways are not my ways and I cannot begin to comprehend all his thoughts.  I hope I will wake up in the morning and simply be willing to follow his direction.


Grace and peace to you.

Fascinating Day

Wednesday was fascinating.  It was a day of highs and a day of lows.


I enjoy seeing what God can do.  I was in a study with 3 other guys who have seen hard times, who have not stood up to the challenges the evil one placed before them but who have walked the road back towards a loving father who is ready to embrace them.  No matter what comes my way, to have a day where I can be surrounded by people who want to pursue a relationship with God is an encouraging day.


God has already overcome evil and with his help, I can overcome it too.  My time with guys who are overcoming the lure of sin by learning to rely daily on God, a little more each day, is time that encourages me to do the same...to chase the heart of God with passion.


Thank you Lord for letting me see what you can do in hearts that are open to your ways.


Grace and peace to you.

Leftovers

As I write this, I've just finished preparing the Wednesday Bible study at work from Frances Chan's Crazy Love.  This week we covered the chapter titled "Serving Leftovers to a Holy God" and it has convicted me again that I so often go through my day focused primarily on me and a little on God.  The Holy God.

I really want to be a better son and a better disciple.  I really want people to see my faith in my life, in my actions.  I really want to give God all that I have, the very best of me, each day and all day.  I know his mercy and grace cover me, I know his love for me abounds but I simply want to return love to him, to let him know that I cherish being his child more than anything else, to live boldly and be a light shining in this world to glorify him.

I want to live for God's glory, I want to be light in a dark world, I want to give God all that I have.  That is my prayer.

Grace and peace to you.

Hard Times

I have experienced hard times and haven't always responded well when facing the challenge.  I'm posting a link to Michael Hyatt's blog on seven questions to ask when facing a challenge or difficult times.  It's not exhaustive but I find it a good reminder of how to focus my mind on what God has in store for me.


Seven Better Questions To Ask In The Midst Of Adversity


Grace and peace to you.

Open My Eyes

There are things in life I will never understand.  Maybe I'm not supposed to but I sure wish I did at times.  Then again, not knowing everything leaves alot of room for faith to work. 


One of the joys I have found in life is to know with certainty where God is leading me and how he is using me.  It makes me want to tune into him more, to hear him more clearly, to feel his presence and direction more precisely, to see the things he wants me to see with clarity.  I pray that the days to come will allow that to happen more and more.


I checked back in at Twitter after a long absence and still find it to be the container for many spur of the moment thoughts.  I don't see it being a tool for good information and will be surprised if they can find a way to monetize it at the rate it will likely need to keep it functioning long-term.  Of course, I never though Apple would make it either. 


Kansas got beat by VCU?  I almost missed a meeting at church watching that game.  It will be a strange Final 4 to watch and I hope it will be as entertaining and full of surprises as the past 2 weekends have been.


T-4.  Opening Day...and I'm not going for the first time in either 5 or 6 years.  Usually, no one in my season ticket group ever wants a day game.  Naturally, Opening Day went first, Saturday went second (when they give rings to the players and replicas to the fans) so I got the Sunday afternoon game.  Now the question is whether Texas will have any healthy pitchers to start the season with. 

I hope this is a week that God will use me to help someone.  My prayer is to simply know his will for me.

Grace and peace to you.

My Call

So in times that are good, in times that are bad
For any times that I've had it all I will be glad
And I will boast in the cross, I boast in my pains
I will boast in the sunshine, boast in his reign
What's my life if it's not praising you
Another dollar in my bank account of vain pursuit, I do
That count my life as any value or precious at all
Let me finish my race, let me answer my call
--Lecrae, Boasting


Grace and peace to you.

Helen Waite

I always get a kick out of the sign I see in some businesses that say something like "our credit manager, Helen Waite, handles all requests for credit.  If you want credit, please go straight to Helen Waite."


I've spent some time reading more and more of the fallout surrounding Rob Bell's new book, "Love Wins" and the question of what Bell thinks about hell.  I've found a blog from a pastor who lost his job because he no longer believes in a literal hell full of fire and eternal torment.  I've found a blog written by someone who thinks he's on the fringe of religion and think the discussion of hell is a complete non-issue.  I've found a blog that defends Bell and I've found a blog that shares how people have labeled Bell a universalist and heretic.


Sadly, I don't know enough about the titles people are given (I'm still trying to ascertain exactly what liberal and progressive means in the churches of Christ) so I can't speak to what Bell is or isn't and, I would guess, that applies to the people who have taken to name-calling.  However, it has made me stop for at least a brief moment and think about what I believe about the concept of hell and has made me realize it's another one of the many things I need to go deeper in studying.  It has also reinforced the idea of God's love and the importance of living in the knowledge of that, more important than anything I can be doing right now. 


It has also opened the door on thinking how I feel about the wars we are engaging in and the justification our country has made for getting involved.  If love conquers all, why are we dropping bombs.  If heaven is the place we really want to go, why are we killing people we fear?  In Ephesians, we are given the tools we need for battle and I can't remember where we get the bullets, grenades and bombs in the deal.  Does it mean I'm a pacifist?  It very well could.  I'm already past agreeing with the death penalty in any form or fashion.  Does it make me weak?  Maybe in some eyes but it is where I'll have to live on faith.


I look forward to reading Bell's book and to dig deeper into heaven, hell, who God is and who he wants me to be. 


Grace and peace to you.

Kids and Hell

A compelling title?  Two different subjects today.


A mother of two teenage daughters gave me a napkin that cracked me up.  It says, "I'll have a caffe mocha vodka valium latte to go, please."  Cracked me up.

Rob Bell has come out with a new book titled "Love Wins" and it seems he touches on the topic of hell and whether it is a literal place and the book seems to have started a firestorm of it's own.  I've heard from friends things being said online and read some stuff on Facebook and can't help but wonder what difference it all makes.

I've heard people in the past rationalize their faith by saying something to this affect, "I rather follow God and find out there is no God than not follow God and find out hell is real."  I guess my thoughts today revolve around the knowledge that God is love (says so in the good book!) and I have become compelled to follow God and love him back because he LOVES me and gave his son for me.  I can't imagine loving my children simply because they are afraid of me and I can't imagine God loving me if I was "loving" him just so I wouldn't have to go to hell.  I understand the consequences of bad actions because I got my fair share of spankings when I was a kid but I love my parents because they loved me, not because they had me cowering in fear.

All that to say, it's sad to me when Satan wins a skirmish by getting Christ-followers up in arms about a book someone wrote debating something that isn't completely spelled out in God's word, at least not to my level of understanding.  On the other hand, I do believe heaven is real, it's the place where God exists and heaven is the place he has prepared for me and that's where I want my focus (but it doesn't mean I know what heaven is all about either).

I hope the arguments soon cease, that God is praised and glorified and that people who don't know God will know that he loves them so much, he sent his only son to die that whoever believes in him will be saved.

Grace and peace to you.

Anthem, AZ and Yamagata, Japan

Last week I was in Anthem, AZ with 2 of my oldest friends and having a really good time watching some spring training baseball but even more, talking about the old days and the current days, where we've been and where we are going.  We shared stories of our faith and our walk, the ups and downs, highs and lows, things we are convicted of and things we have changed our thinking about and how each of these topics we discussed are bringing us all closer to God.  I love these 2 guys and miss the simpler days when making a basket was our biggest issue but I'm convinced what I love more is hearing them talking about God working in their lives, the transformation he has engineered in them and sharing the same things about me. 

As usual, it was good to get home but I will miss the conversations we had, the faith we shared and the encouragement I gained from them.  The one thing I know is, we are all ready for the day we can make it to the home we look forward to, our home with God for eternity.  Until then, I pray he continues to give us vision and to direct our steps so we are warriors for the kingdom in Anthem, Tyler and Decatur and wherever he might lead us.

I was reading a story about the nuclear crisis in Japan and the reporter was sharing stories of people who couldn't leave the area for one reason or another.  One such person,  Masahiro Sakashita, is the director of an elder care facility with 100 or so bedridden people 15 miles from the reactor.  He and 19 other senior staff members know the outcome does not look promising but he made the call that a minimum staff of older employees would stay while they sent the younger staff members out of the danger zone.  I pray God grants them peace and protects them from danger for risking their lives to take care of others who cannot care for themselves.

Grace and peace to you.

Loving Wednesdays

The last two Wednesdays have been powerful days for me.  Our Bible study at work has been really good and some people have shown up that let's me know God is at work in hearts in some really awesome ways.  That is followed by our youth class at church which may be the highlight of the week for me already.  (Yes Jacob, it's because you are there!)  Last night we had a special prayer night.  Our kids have named some adults who have stood out to them as mentors, friends and confidantes and those adults were there to pray with the kids or kids prayed with other kids.  It was powerful to watch how people came and went from the classroom as we sang so they could go pray about joys, pains, fears and things they rejoiced over.  It was an emotional time for me to see these young people open up with each other, rely on each other and lift each other up.  It continues to give me hope that the future generation will be more authentic with each other and will live out lives that closely resemble Christ's life.


I love Wednesdays.


Grace and peace to you.

Sleep, Where Art Thou?

I'm having troubles with Blogger posting my blogs when I want my blogpost posted. 
Charlie Sheen has gone off the rails.  I've seen a couple of interviews and heard some of the insanity.  The guy has some issues.  No doubt.
The Rangers could have overpaid for Zack Greinke.  Milwaukee got him and he's out 4-6 weeks with a broken rib from playing basketball. 
I'm flying to Phoenix, AZ on Saturday and spending a few days hanging out in Surprise.  I don't think I'll get signed to a 7-figure contract. 
This is one of those blogs that some people will read thinking something of value is coming only to get to the end and realize it was a few minutes of their life they will never get back.
I hate to see young people suffering.
I bounce between laughter and anger at people who are antagonistic for no good reason.
You may still be thinking there will be something of value coming.  Dream on.
March Madness is around the corner.  I think it's my favorite sporting time of year and my favorite sporting event.  I'll miss the Big 12 tournament while in Surprise, AZ trying to get signed to the big money contract. 
What's up with the Miami Heat? 

Enough of that.  I am thankful for good friends who I can trust and who trust me.  God provides.

Grace and peace to you.

More Love Stuff

On Sunday morning, I had the opportunity to speak to the congregation as we prepared for communion.  One of the things I love about our fellowship is that we remember Christ's death, burial and resurrection through a time of communion every Sunday.  I shared that it's the one time of the week that I find myself most in awe of God.  I often think of God's conversation with Job in the last 3 chapters in the book of Job that starts like this:
¹ Then the LORD spoke to Job out of the storm. He said:
 ² “Who is this that obscures my plans
   with words without knowledge?
³ Brace yourself like a man;
   I will question you,
   and you shall answer me.
 ⁴ “Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation?
   Tell me, if you understand.
⁵ Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know!
   Who stretched a measuring line across it?
⁶ On what were its footings set,
   or who laid its cornerstone—
⁷ while the morning stars sang together
   and all the angels^[a] shouted for joy?
 ⁸ “Who shut up the sea behind doors
   when it burst forth from the womb,
⁹ when I made the clouds its garment
   and wrapped it in thick darkness,
¹⁰ when I fixed limits for it
   and set its doors and bars in place,
¹¹ when I said, ‘This far you may come and no farther;
   here is where your proud waves halt’?

God goes on to further explain all he has created on earth and in heaven reminding Job that no one else is God, no one else can do what God can do, no one can fully comprehend the majesty and power of God.

Then I shared how this incredible God is also the God who knows me and who loves me.  In our group, we often reference how God loves us and I think we sometimes forget that means that God loves me.  He knows me intimately and he loves me.  He loves me enough that he gave his son for me so that I might live justified and spend eternity with him.  He loves me that much.  It's humbling and it's awe-inspiring for me.  I hope I share in that awe with others.

Grace and peace to you.