Markers

We mark a lot of events.  Birthdays (happy birthday Shannon!) and anniversaries are maybe the most common but we also mark the bad days and bad events.  I'm not sure if many people are like me but I tend to remember the bad markers better than the good markers.  Sunday was one of those markers, an anniversary of sorts that is a painful reminder of something lost.  It's odd that I would spend the day vacillating between it being a day of resurrection and hope and a day of what is dead and lost, not odd that I would be thinking about one or the other but that they occurred on the same day.  I was fortunate to be with a great church family and some very, very dear friends that day but I also needed and wanted some time alone to process, to cry, to read and maybe to heal a little.  I was granted both time with others and time alone on Sunday.


I often wish I could have a do-over.  There are so many choices I don't think I'd make again.  I realize that many of my choices have led me to where I am and I don't get the do-over so where do I go from here?  Well, I'll start by crying out to Jesus for help, for guidance, for courage, for strength to take the next step, to keep moving forward and to use my experiences, good or bad, to help others who are crying out for help too.  I've been told by some people I couldn't have reached them without some of my experiences.  Honestly, it's a tool I wish I didn't have but it is what it is and my next step to growing closer to God is to use what I have and what he is giving me and go from there.  I can't rewrite the past but I can work on making the right decision today.  So, I'll keep crying out to Jesus to lead me.


Grace and peace to you.