Hippety Hoppity

Last Wednesday was a very cool/groovy/far-out night for me.  (Yes, I'm channeling a bit of the 70's today.)  I got to speak to our youth class about God's love.  Now, that's not something to be covered in 20-25 minutes and I'm certainly not the one to attempt to do the explanation justice but, that's what made the night so cool.  Before I speak/teach, I spend a couple of days in prayer with God asking him to speak through me.  The deal I make (hahahahaha) is that I will open my mouth and he'll send the words.  So, I had my notes prepared and I got started and then stuff just started coming to me and I said it even though it wasn't following the outline completely.  Did anyone get anything out of what I was saying?  I did and I hope at least 1 other person did too because that's the other part of my prayer.  Lord, if 1 person hears something that brings them closer to you, you be glorified.  So, one person did (me) but my hope is there may have been a few others.  A friend had told me about the hurt and doubt one other person in the room faces and I think God through me spoke to that pain.  I hope they heard it because it was one of those parts that was coming from God.


One off-the-cuff illustration I used was the picture of the prodigal returning home.  I can imagine him shuffling along, in no big hurry to tell his father he'd squandered everything, feeling like the father couldn't love him and probably feeling like he would never forgive himself.  I've been there.  I've known that feeling intimately and every now and then it still rolls through my head.


The story of the loving father is one I've written about often because it speaks to me so vibrantly.  As I'm shuffling along, wondering if God can ever love me again, I look up to find him running to me.  Yes, running.  To me.


Lord, let me be that image to others.  Not that I am their Lord or their Savior, but only that I can wrap them in my arms in glory to you, only that they will know they are loved by you through others who will help them, that they know they can hold their head high because they are a child of the King, just as I am and that we can rejoice in the fact that while we were once lost, we are on the road that leads to everlasting life with you.


Grace and peace to you.  Oh, yeah...the hippety hoppity part is this song I shared with the class.  For my hip-hop homeboys...Flame - Tonight (All Of Me)

That's My King...

Below is a video set to thoughts by S.M. Lockridge.  I heard this a year or so ago in a Bible class and ran across it again yesterday.  I love the passion of Lockridge for his King.  It's a passion I hope to emulate.




Grace and peace to you.

Ready To Unplug

I'm electronically worn out.  I'm tired of Facebook.  I already quit Twitter.  I'm struggling to write a blog.

I think I'll be posting less frequently for awhile.  Another blogging vacation of sorts.

Here's another blog to check out headed up by my good friend Randy Daugherty. 
Word For Today


Grace and peace to you.

Happy Birthday To You...

Today is my mom's birthday.  She's 39.  Don't try to do the math if you know how old I am because it won't work.  My mom loves celebrating her birthday and it's often a 3-4 week process with all the lunches and dinners with friends.  Just between you and me, she's seen more than 39 birthdays and quite a bit of interesting history in her day.  I've listened to stories of growing up on the farm and it seems so far removed from the life I have grown up with.  While I'm thankful for conveniences like a bathroom with running water, there are some things about growing up on the farm that I think would be good for people today because I see how it shaped that generation in positive ways.  I suppose every generations has their strengths and weaknesses and maybe we'll see that my generation and future generations have much to offer the future just like my parent's generation has offered us. 


On this day, I hope my mom's day is filled with good wishes, good friends, good food and a Snickers bar.  I love you mom!


Grace and peace to you.

Where Are You Taking Me?

I've got the writing blah's this week.


I ask God to lead me and then, when he does, I feel like asking "are you sure you want me to do this?"  I like being led where I want to go but I don't get a big charge out of being led where I don't want to go.  I realize that thinking can land me in the belly of a big fish though so I'm trying to accept what God is calling me to do and to be willing to do it. 


I would seek your prayers that I will answer the call and that I will say the things and do the things that come from God working through me. 


Grace and peace to you.

Preach It

Yesterday, I heard one of the most powerful sermons I've heard in a long time.  The power wasn't in the presentation style nor in the energy or tone of the preacher, the power was in the message he delivered.  One point he made really stuck with me throughout the day that just kept me feeling good all day.  Most of us have heard (and can quote) Romans 3:23, "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" and that is where the recitation usually ends.  But, and this but is big, while it's the end of the verse, it is not the end of the sentence.  Verse 24 continues the thought, "and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus."  [emphasis mine}


He gave freely.

Grace and peace to you.

Lady GaGa

I saw Lady Gaga on GMA Thursday morning promoting her AIDS/HIV prevention efforts.  She has created a line of cosmetics with ALL the proceeds going to help prevent this horrible disease.  I applaud her for her generosity and willingness to be an activist to help eliminate a horrible disease.  I can only wish that her efforts were targeted at abstinence and Godliness instead of safe sex.
As I listened to her talk, it seemed evident that she has been searching for what is missing in her life and she identifies it as "self-love" and "finding the inner light".  I wonder how powerful it could be if someone of her stature and promotion ability was sharing a message of the love of God and allowing His light to shine from within to all of her fans.  Today, I am saying a prayer for Gaga and the hope that God will be able to reach her and to touch her heart with His love, joy and desire for her. 


From Gaga to baseball - I'll be in Bowie soaking in the sun and watching Decatur Eagles baseball this Saturday.  I'm excited to have another season going and watching my son and his friends play.  My daughter is escaping baseball by participating in a UIL competition and I know she will rock 'em too!  And, it will be time to see Michael Young, smiling and talking about what the upcoming season will be like and how he doesn't want to be a distraction even though all the questions lead to the distraction he has caused.  Oh well, it's baseball.  Cut, green grass.  Sunshine.  Close plays at home.  Homeruns, fireworks and fly-overs.  Play ball!


May the Lord who created the world, who designed the seas, who created the volcanoes, who built the mountains and put each grain of sand on the beach, may He be praised and glorified in my life today because the One who created all also created, loves, nurtures and cares for me.


Grace and peace to you.

A Good Start

Wednesday was the kick-off day for our workplace Bible study using the book Crazy Love.  Yes, you know I love Crazy Love and I'm excited to begin a study around the ideas offered by Francis Chan in this book.  The first class was an introduction of the book idea, my approach to getting through it and to me.  Several of the people in the study know something about me but I went back deeper in my history than usual and walked them through my growing up and how I got to this point in life and why this book has helped me know God so much better than I think I would have done on my own.  I got some positive feedback from a few of the participants and am thankful my prayer all morning worked - simply that God would make me a conduit of the words He wanted everyone to hear. 


Here's something that crossed my mind the other day.  Who's more concerned with sin; God or me?  Who's more concerned with living out of love; God or me?  I think God is more interested in seeing me live a life of love than He is concerned with me sinning.  I'm caught up in 1 John 4 saying that "perfect love drives out fear."  I can't get this verse out of my head because I want to live in God's perfect love and I want to be a man who shares God's perfect love with everyone I come in contact with.  I'm not there yet but pray that I will be one day. 


God, work on my heart, work in my heart and work through my heart.  Make me a light shining brightly, eliminating darkness and reflecting the glory of your majesty.


Grace and peace to you.

Grammy Whammy

Did you watch the Grammy's on Sunday night?  I had the TV on for the last 20 minutes or so waiting on the news and was flabbergasted, yes flabbergasted, by some of the dancing I saw. 
If you are looking for a good blog to read, check out http://texastoothcarpenter.blogspot.com and http://rross.blogspot.com.  These are two very good friends of mine and they say some things that would benefit a lot of people to think about. 
I've been asked to be a guest writer for another friend's blog.
For the past 8 years or so I've been a columnist for two different western industry publications writing about business, management, leadership and operations.  The crazy part is that I got paid to do it!  Ha.  I had the lofty title of Business Editor at the last gig but gave it up this year because I can only write so much it seems and because it's time to scale back.  Even as I say I need to scale back, I'm contemplating taking on another big, time-consuming adventure.  Maybe I'm a glutton for punishment.
This is one of those days were I'm sort of dry as far as writing so I am filling space with yak-yak.  Yep, yak-yak.  Use that in Words With Friends and see what kind of response you get.
I have changed my musical choices to the point that at least 85% of what I listen to is Christian-themed music.  Don't think I'm patting myself on the back because I still slip in a little Pink Floyd, Molly Hatchett, Guns N Roses and such but I can tell a difference in myself when I'm listening to Third Day, Skillet, Lecrae, Casting Crowns, Jeremy Camp and a bunch of other great artists. 
Baseball season is back.  My son is playing again but I'm not involved at all this time...and it hasn't been an easy change.  It looks like the schedule is going to work for me to head out to Surprise in March for a little Spring Training with the Rangers.  I'm pumped.  I'm traveling with a good friend from our younger days and staying with his brother/another good friend.  I'm ready to go today.  Other than the packing.  Shorts and t-shirts...
I had a meeting Tuesday morning with some staff that has been through our company leadership training program.  As we talked about different issues, it struck me again how people interact with each other is so important in our lives in so many ways.  Relationships of one sort or another are a part of the fabric of our lives.  It brought me back to Monday's post - the one relationship I want to succeed at is the one between me and my Lord.  As long as that relationship is successful, I'm fully confident all others will work out for the best.

Grace and peace to you.

I Am Second

I've shared this here before but something said yesterday brought it back to mind.  Many of you have seen the iamsecond.com web site and some of the awesome monologues there.  I think it's a great idea even if they won't let me into their club...or at least they wouldn't the last time I tried to become a member but that's another story.  Where I was going is the idea of being second to God.  I grew up being taught that I was 3rd or maybe even lower down the scale.  The God came first, others came second and then I might fit in to 3rd.  The acronym JOY was used (Jesus/Others/Yourself) to teach us how to live humbly.  I understand the concept and realize how easy it is to start splitting hairs over semantics but, personally, I think it's wrong teaching. 


The greatest command is to love God with all my heart, soul and mind.  The second is to love my neighbor AS MYSELF.  I capitalized those last two words because how am I supposed to love my neighbor as myself if God is first, they are second and I am third?  Here's where I'm going with this.  The only relationship in the world I need to get right is the one between God and me.  If he's first and I'm right next to Him, then the other relationships will figure themselves out because God will be flowing through me.  I don't need to worry about serving others if I'm not right with God and the more things I put between God and me, the more trouble I'm going to have staying focused on what His will is.  I think it's best that I make sure I'm staying on the same page as God and then I can be a servant to others but not before I am whole with God. 


I spent a lot of years trying to put others first, often failing at it but trying, and I never really got close to God.  Now, as I desire to get closer and closer to Him, to make Him first and me a close second, I am learning how I can serve others much better through His power. 


I am second and I plan to stay there.  Again, maybe I'm splitting hairs but this is how I need to approach my walk with God so that I grow closer to Him. 


Grace and peace to you.

WHAT? No post?

I'm a late blogger today so if you read this you will be one of the few. 


Today I'm living on thankfulness.  I'm spending the day doing all I can to blog any negative thought out of my mind with a response of thankfulness.  I'm thankful for my kids, my friends, my health, my job...oh I could go on and on but my idea for today is to be thankful.  Something I didn't like came up at work this morning and I have decided to stay focused on the fact that I have a job and am thankful for what it gives me. 


I may try to do this all weekend!  I'm not going to get too far ahead of myself and do it for a week or month.  That would be crazy, huh?  :)


God loves me.  What more do I need to know today?


Grace and peace to you.

Brrrr

That has to be one of the more compelling titles I've ever written.
I drove to work on Tuesday in 2 wheel drive at normal speeds because there was no ice.  The TV stations don't always help and don't always report very accurately.  Tuesday morning, Channel 8 was reporting a rollover wreck at 287 and 2264.  Hello?  That happens 6 times a year; summer, winter, spring and fall, daylight or dark.
I heard the roads around Decatur were treacherous.  Heck, I couldn't spin my tires anywhere and I like going in circles as much as the next guy.

The deal with Michael Young is looking a little ugly.  I hate to see that right now but, it's business.
I've never met Wayne Jacobsen and yet he has written a book about me.  Here's a segment I'm going to be sharing in 2 Bible studies I'm doing soon.  "The motives of conformity do not produce intimacy.  This is where organized religion so often gets it backward, and why so many people in the pews remain so distant from God and so unchanged in their character.  We think conformity to God's ways will lead us closer to him, when the opposite is true.  If we focus on our own fears and performance, he will seem more distant.  It is only by living in the security of God's affection that he is able to transform us."  He Love Me, p. 80
He goes on to talk about love being stronger than fear.  In Psalm 111:10 we are told that fear is the beginning of wisdom.  I believe this is true because I believe that people who do not strive to know God, whether they go to church or not, may one day know his wrath.  (Please know that isn't a judgment, that is my belief.  I might be wrong and find out that God isn't punishing anyone and that's His call to make and no skin off my back.  As much as He's put up with from me, I'm just tickled pink I get to keep learning how much He loves me each day.)  While fear may be the beginning of wisdom, John says in I John 4 that perfect love drives out fear.  If I really love God I don't have to fear God because there is no fear in love.  I take it to mean that our walk with God is a journey that started with understanding His power and growing into a more and more loving relationship with Him day by day.
I have a desire to love God more, to know Him intimately, to live in His love and to glorify Him in all that I do.


Grace and peace to you.

Facebook Ranting

There are several things I like Facebook and quite a few I don't.  I like seeing some old friends and reconnecting.  I like some coupons I get, flyfishing destination ideas and knowing what's new at gogo gumbo.  What I particularly don't like is some of the ranting I see by people who then turn around and post scripture and put on the Christian face.  The reason I don't like it is because it reminds me of me, of how I have acted in the past, of how I still act at times and of the miles to travel to be who I want to be on this earth. 


I do not want God to take on a "fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me" attitude because he wouldn't tolerate me very long.  I do not want God to start shouting out my flaws to all who can hear because He will be busy and I will be thoroughly embarrassed.  I do not want God telling me I will have to earn His trust back every time I fail and then have that earning process completely subjective to His whim.  I'll never get His full trust back if I have to earn it.  Yet, I have treated people that way and done those things at times. 


I'm better about such things today but not perfect.  I want to be better about it today than I was yesterday and I want to be better at it tomorrow than I am today.  I want to be more and more and more like God each and every day I'm still on this earth.  God, help me, restore me, renew me, lead me.  Make my life yours, make my words yours, make my actions yours. 


Grace and peace to you.

Wounds

Why do some wounds take so long to heal?  I have a cut on my arm that is taking forever (it seems) to heal.  A big scab covered the wound for awhile and then it came off and a smaller one formed followed by one even smaller.  Each time, I see it getting better but the cut is still there.


Life isn't much different.  Sometimes the cut is covered but the scab comes off, the wound is revealed but a smaller scab forms and so on.  While the healing gets better and shorter, the wound is still there. 


Healing isn't easy and isn't pain free.  I wish I had something more positive to say today.  I just don't.


Grace and peace to you.

Super Bowl Hangover

I didn't really care who won but had two wagers going and both the other parties insisted on taking Green Bay so I was halfway cheering for the Steelers.  I do like Mike Tomlin.
I lost the bet.  I usually don't lose bets because I will typically only bet when I'm highly confident.  This time I bet so I would have a reason to watch the game.  Now I'm out a couple of coffees at Starbucks. 
The upside is that I get a coffee at Starbucks paying off the bets. 
People shouldn't gamble.  This has been a public service announcement.
How do you butcher the Star Spangled Banner? 
I wasn't as big a fan of the VW/Darth Vader commercial as most people seem to be.  It may be because I've never watched Star Wars. 
The Budweiser/Tiny Dancer commercial is the one that stands out to me.  I have a weird sense of humor though.  I always like the ETrade commercials but they didn't strike me as funny as past years.  Oh, the one with the monkeys pulling in to the parking lot and hemming the guy in his car kind of cracked me up. 
Fergie didn't sound good.  I blame that on Jerry.  What about the people who bought tickets and then didn't have seats because of fire code.  Jerry. 
The lighted dancers on the field were pretty cool.  
The saddest part of the night was watching what's-her-name feed ARoidFraud popcorn.  Ewwww.  And why did Jerry let him in the building anyway? 
I'm really not a ARod hater.  He's got a sweet swing but a) he's a Yankee and b) being fed popcorn isn't a pretty picture. 
I don't care for Big Ben and he had a bad game but I do wonder how bad his knee was hurting.  I give him credit for being a gamer. 
Pro football just doesn't hold my interest.
Pitchers and catchers report to Spring Training in less than 10 days.  Now that's something to cheer about.

Grace and peace to you.

A Day of Levity

Enough of the wrestling for one week.
Monday was a great day.  I had lunch with 2 of my brothers that I think so highly of and that I constantly benefit from by seeing how God is working in their life and the lives of others.  It was also a great day because a very good friend called to ask me about something he is wrestling with and I know God spoke through me using some of the transformation I have been through to lay something on my brother's heart.  Glory to God.
Monday was also the day I came up with a plan to strike back at Jerry Jones and I encourage everyone to join me.  Instead of spending $200 or more to stand outside Jerryworld to watch the Super Bowl, let's get everyone we know to put our TV's in a window and stand in our yards and watch it for free!  What do you think?
I'm writing this on Monday afternoon (yes, there are some things I do in advance) and very wintry weather is expected overnight and into tomorrow.  3-5 inches of snow are possible with sleet and ice likely.  Let's see what the end result looks like.
I'm finding more interesting stuff on visitors from my blog.  On Monday, I had a visitor from Brazil and Switzerland and two people accessing it from their Blackberry.  I'm not sure what that means but I'm fascinated by it all the same.
Have you ever played with the fish on my blog?  Scroll down and on the right hand column you will see fish swimming around.  You can click with your mouse and leave fish food for them to eat.  I spend hours each day just playing with them.  (Not really.)
ACU closed school on Tuesday and Wednesday  They never did that when I was out there.  The story that went around when I was in school is that ACU wouldn't call off a day of classes until Jesus returned.  Some people I knew back in the day called the radio and TV stations one night telling them ACU would be closed.  The media outlets announced it then came back later saying it was a mistake.  I heard one of the people who was doing the prank calling called back saying he was one of the Deans when someone at the TV station told him that they knew the Dean personally and were recording the call.  That ended the fun until 2 years later when the Dean met with the guy doing the calling and a friend who was there that night egging it on and began relaying the story to them because it was again snowing outside but the Dean apparently didn't know he was talking to the culprits.  The egging on friend almost choked trying to suppress his laughter.  At least that's how I heard the story.
I heard a guy at breakfast at the Whistle Stop on Thursday morning, while looking at the window at someone having trouble driving on the ice, say "why are these people even out?"  Maybe he lives at the restaurant but I'm assuming he "got out" to come get his coffee.
Here's a mini-rant.  Most of us pay our electric and gas bills and get no say in how much we pay so why does ERCOT decide there isn't enough of it to go around and just start shutting us down?  Sure, I won't have to pay for what I don't use but it's the principle of the thing.  Why can't I just tell ERCOT there isn't enough money to go around and I'll pay them 95% of the electric bill?  It's really not the money that bothers me, it's the lack of planning.  Of course, I know little about all of that stuff so I do not know of what I speak other than I don't think it's a good idea to go around cutting off people's electricity when you have failed to have a plan in place.  OK, I'll quit rambling about something I don't know anything about.
It's been a hard week emotionally.  I'll have at least one of my kids with me this weekend and that will surely lift my spirits, give me a few laughs and leave me in wonder of how special they are.
Oh, by the way, I'm not going to stand outside and watch the Super Bowl.  That would be silly.

I'll leave you with this.  God's love is so strong for me that He was willing to let me come and live on this earth, a place of seasons, seasons of joy, seasons of hope, seasons of pain, seasons of suffering, with full faith in me to love Him so much that I would be a light in the darkness.  He isn't overprotective.  He isn't scared.  He is strong and bold and wanting to fill me up with His love so that it overflows in me to others who need to experience it.  He loves me so much that He made a path for me to be with Him for eternity, He has my inheritance planned and it is more than I can imagine.

Grace and peace to you.

Things I'm Wrestling With - Day 4

Relationships and conflict.
Do you know many relationships that don't suffer conflict at some point.  Best friends in school get mad at each other for the craziest reasons.  Brothers and sisters fight over the littlest things.  Co-workers battle over turf.  Parents and children argue over problems, big and small.  Husbands and wives fight.  Relationships come with conflicts and as much as I don't want conflict, it seems to often follow - personal relationships, business relationships, all relationships.  Conflict is all around me at work, at home, at church.
I hear it said that God made us for relationships and yet so many relationships are full of conflict, some experience it less often, others more often.  I wonder why.  OK, maybe I have a good idea why but it doesn't make me feel better about it, doesn't make me walk away whistling Blue Skies and Rainbows.
Historically, I haven't dealt well with personal conflict.  I avoid it.  I deny it.  I mask it.  And, my way of dealing with conflict has likely cost me a great price in emotional, spiritual and physical health and peace.  I hope to learn to do conflict better one day because today, today I am just worn out from it, completely drained and emotionally bankrupt.  I often hear Rodney King in my head, "can't we just all get along?" and wonder the same thing.
One day I hope I manage conflict better.  I believe God is leading me to help others with conflict and to prepare myself professionally and personally to be active in reducing and eliminating conflict.  I pray that the obstacles to accomplish this are removed and I believe they will be if this is what God is calling me to do.  I'm hopeful for what the future holds. 
Have you done anything to help reduce or eliminate conflict in your life?

Grace and peace to you.

Things I'm (Done) Wrestling With - Day 3

I had lunch on Friday with a friend from college.  He's a minister now which is kind of funny when I think back to what we were doing in college but I digress.


He still gets the question "Is baptism essential to salvation?"  He got it the other day from an SMU student while he was standing next to a preacher out of the Baptist background.  He said he and the other preacher looked at each other, chuckled and the other preacher said, "do you want this one or do you want me to take it?"  Now, some of you may not understand that but it's funny to me coming from the Church of Christ background in two regards.  One, it's funny because it's one of those theological debates that pit people who love God against each other.  Maybe it's more sad than funny.  Anyway, the other reason is because I think it's the wrong question.


I grew up under the "baptism essential to salvation" idea and defended it.  Then I went through a period where I didn't agree with it.  Today, I feel baptism is the greatest thing a Christian could ever do.  Not because it's commanded and not because it's an act of obedience.  Again, those are answers that I believe are given in response to the wrong question. 


Today, if someone asks me if I think baptism is essential to salvation, I simply ask, "do you want to be united to Jesus, the Savior?"  To me, that is the question because when I read Romans 6, I get excited about baptism.  I get chills reading it, knowing that my baptism united me with His death and my coming out of the water united me with His resurrection.  I think it's the most incredible imagery of me being united to my Lord I could imagine.  A simple act yet, in my reading and understanding of the passage, an incredibly powerful act. 


I don't wrestle with baptism any longer, I celebrate it and what I believe it means for my life, this one and the life to come. 


Grace and peace to you.

Things I'm Wrestling With - Day 2

Job.  (The guy in the Bible, not my workplace.)
I led a Bible study at work last Wednesday about the topic of suffering and, believe it or not, Job's name came up.  Go figure.  I love the story of Job because it brings me comfort.  So, what am I wrestling with?
Three different people in the last 2 months have told me they don't believe all the stories in the Bible are literal and they all pointed to the story of Job as one of those stories.  Two people referred to it as a myth, another as a parable.
Now, before my good conservative church friends allow their blood pressure to get too high, let me tell you what I think starting with the part that might make you think I've gone kookier than before...
I'm OK with those people believing what they believe.  The reason why is that I have come to believe many things about God and His word and His power and His love (I could go on) much differently than I did before the big storm of my life.  I have come to believe that people see things and hear things that a few years ago would have made me think they needed to be in a rubber room.  I am open to many, many things people believe about God because I have come to see so much so differently - so I don't argue with these people who challenge my beliefs, I embrace them because the challenge makes me think, makes me talk to God, makes me search my heart and my connection with God to examine what I believe.  Those who challenge me have a very special place in my heart because they challenge me to be more in-touch with the Almighty Lord. 
So, here's where I am on the story of Job after spending some time thinking about it.  I believe the story is absolutely real.  I need the story of Job to be real because I need to know that he overcame the pain of suffering and was a better person for it.  I need to know that he lived with the scars of pain, the memories of pain and still became the person God wanted him to be.  You see, for me, if the story is not real then I have no more connection with Job than I do with Batman.  If Job isn't real, he doesn't speak to my suffering.  If Job isn't real, I don't even know if God is real and if God isn't real, there is no purpose to my life.  I need to know that God allowed Job's suffering because God HAD FAITH in his creation, had faith that what He had created in His image could survive suffering by trusting in the Maker and be better for it.  I believe Job is real and his story is real and his suffering is real and his redemption is real because I believe that is what the power of God can do...His power can allow that suffering because it is stronger than the pain.  And, I want a God who challenges me to grow and to be more than I would be just floating through this life and I want a God who will remind me that He is the greatest and there is no greater, that the one I choose to worship didn't need me to set the cornerstone of the earth or to create it's measurements or to tell the sea to stop and go no further and who's voice rises above the clouds. 
Will I continue to wrestle with the story of Job; with the thoughts of my friends who challenge me?  I hope so because it will keep me engaged but today, I do not wrestle with the realness of Job's story, instead of jump in it and splash around in it like kids jump in a pool, full of joy that my Lord can do mighty things in me just as He did with Job.


Grace and peace to you.

Things I'm Wrestling With - Day 1

I think this week might turn into a wrestling theme.  Several things are on my mind right now; battles, victories, challenges, obstacles, the power of God to do more than I can imagine and my willingness.

I'm a contemplative person by nature.  I like to address ideas and problems by taking time to think about them, to study them, to know as much about the possibilities and contingencies as possible.  Being contemplative, I enjoy time alone, quiet and away from others.  Some people find this strange, some think it anti-social, others think it a waste of time and then some find it to be brilliant (OK, maybe I'm the only one who thinks that way).  I enjoy my solitary time while I know others prefer to be busy.   


When I recently experienced the darkest days of my life, my first reaction was to stop and think (alone) but I was often encouraged to "stay busy" and I have found myself taking that advice.  I would go and do and keep myself engaged with something, anything, so I wouldn't stop and think about all that needed to be dealt with the way I normally deal with issues.  And now, I think it has caused me to prolong some pain and healing I have needed and some changes that I need to make because I was staying busy while I believe I was really needing to be me, to think, to process and to heal the way I need to heal.

I don't relish pain, don't go looking for pain and will try to avoid pain but sometimes I need to experience the pain for what it will bring.  If I needed a heart transplant to stay alive, I have no doubt I would do it.  I wouldn't avoid the heart transplant because I knew there would be pain following it.  I would accept the pain and deal with it knowing it was part of making me whole again.  It's no different than the heart work I have needed through these dark days.  I needed to go through the pain because the pain reminds me I'm still alive and it has a way of aiding in the healing.  

Pain means something has happened that gives me the opportunity to heal and, hopefully, be better.  How much better?  Who knows?  One pitcher has Tommy John surgery and comes back to pitch better than ever.  Another pitcher has Tommy John surgery and never pitches again but he can use his arm without it hurting all the time.  Different levels of positive results but positive results all the same.

I have come to realize that I need to take time to be contemplative, to be me, and to finish a process that I believe will make me stronger, more whole, more healthy.  I have started a journey that I believe will leave me feeling me more unshackled than I've ever known, more free.  It's another step.  And what great journey has never begun without a single, small step?


Grace and peace to you.

The Things You Learn On The Internet

Using Google Analytics, I learn alot about my blog and who some people are that come to read it.  In the past month, I've had over 875 visitors and 22% of them were 1st time visitors.  I learned that most people come to my site directly followed closely by those coming from Rick Ross' blog followed by people coming from Facebook.  I had more new visitors from Rick's site than from Facebook and I had 1 person who had typed in "way out wise blog" in a search engine and found me along with some people who typed some random stuff and found me also.  I know where most of my visitors are from and can track some of them back to their IP address.  Freaky.  I had 17 visits from someone using software to make their IP anonymous.  I wonder why?  Anyway, for those of you who keep coming back, thanks...I think.  Maybe you enjoy torture.  And to my good friend Rick, thanks for being such a good marketing vehicle for me.  (That's how we look at it in the business world anyway.)


I'm so proud of my children.  I have recently learned things about both of them that just make me happy to be their dad, to be a part of their life, to know them and to watch them grow.  I hope I have a hand in helping them find their paths, I hope even more that they are learning to seek God and to listen to His desire for them and that they will follow His path.  I think most parents hope their children will be better people than the parent has been, that they make better choices, that they help more people, that they will know their Lord more intimately.  I know I want that for my children and I am so thankful I have the opportunity to watch them grow.


If I could ask one thing from you today it is to stop what you are doing and offer a prayer for the spiritual health of our children and that they will learn to see with the eyes of God so they may better understand the battle raging around them. It's a good prayer for all mankind but my kids and kids in general are on my heart today.


Grace and peace to you.

When I Don't Have The Words To Say What's On My Mind...

I resort to random thoughts.
I need to read through James again.
I need to spend a lot of time in Romans. 
I have some things I want to say about yesterday's post but the words aren't coming out in clear thoughts.  That happens often in a crazy mind like mine.
I was at the Mavs game Tuesday night.  There was a group in front of us that we have decided included some strip joint owners and their employees.  The girl in front of us had a shirt on that said "Stay classy, Dallas."  She was wearing low-rise jeans, a high-rise t-shirt and no underwear.  You can see where this is going.  We spent at least a quarter of the game with a tramp stamp and her bottom in clear view.  Yes, by all means, stay classy Dallas. 
Blake Griffin is a beast.  He plays for the LA Clippers.  His body is chiseled and he can jump to the moon.  If he hadn't played for Zero University, I could cheer for him more.
I got this texted to me: "Always remember that Goliath was a 40 point favorite over David."  We never know what God will do through us, do we?  I need to learn to trust Him completely, every day.
James 4:10 popped on my screen today.  I need to remember to live more humbly in submission to the Lord's will for my life.  Too often, I go out to chart my own course and forget to remind myself to be open to His hand at work in my life for that day.
On the other hand, many days I walk out completely open to His desire and with a pretty blank slate of my own.  While not perfected, I am getting better, day-by-day, at listening for Him.
I'm growing closer to God.  That gives me peace.  And joy.

Grace and peace to you.

46

By the time you are 46 years old, there has been plenty of time for bad ideas and hurtful emotions to take root within you.  By the time you are 46 years old, there has been plenty of time to tell yourself a lot of things that are not right but seem plausible.  By the time you are 46 years old, there has been plenty of time for a battle to ensnare your soul to be raging without pause. 


It isn't easy undoing.  It isn't easy unwinding what has been wound.  Sometimes, it seems, demolition work is the easier alternative but not always the practical one.  Sometimes, you just have to take time to unwind, to undo, what has taken many years to build.  Sometimes the bricks have to come down one at a time before the rebuilding can begin.  Sometimes you have to peel the onion one layer at a time.


That's the way I feel today.  There are things that I have accepted and believed about myself for years that aren't true.  I wish I could just demolish what isn't right and start from the ground up but demolishing means taking out everything, good or bad, and I don't think that's the right approach.  So I'm unstacking the bricks one at a time, I'm peeling the onion layer by layer.  It's slow and sometimes I think I've reached the core only to find that I'm really not there yet, there's still some mistakes and rough patches that need to be removed so the process starts again. 


One day I'll reach the core and can start rebuilding with the truth.  I'm ready for that day.


Grace and peace to you.

What I Hear

It's part odd, part funny sometimes to say something and people hear something different.  I look back on a life of hearing what so many people have said and wonder now if I heard what they said or heard something else.  Here's an example.  I've been going to church all my life, going to Bible classes, listening to sermons and what I have heard most of my life was more about how I needed to avoid sin instead of how I need to love God and be obsessed with living for Him.  I wonder if I just heard it all wrong.  Regardless, I am finally coming to understand that an obsession with trying to live right kept me focused on my weakness but and obsession with being close to God, soaking up the fact that I am living in His presence, is keeping me focused on His power.  It seems like such a small thing in words but in my life it is making a very big difference. 

In the old days, when I sinned, I beat myself up and slowly began to convince myself I was just a sinner and would never be more.  These days, when I sin, I realize I have only pulled myself away from the Father, I've only cheated myself out of being in His presence but it is not who I am, just something I did.  Who I am is His son, His loved child who He still desires to be in His presence, soaking up His abundant love. 

For years I lived focus on my need for His grace and mercy.  While I do need that, God is love and that is what I want to be caught up in because I have found that by living in His love, He gives me all that flows from that (grace, mercy, compassion, etc.) and I am drawn closer to Him and live in the growing understanding that being made in His image means that I too can overflow in love. 

My cup overflows when I live in His love.

Grace and peace to you.

Uh Oh Spaghetti-O

You know you are in trouble when you are up with your mind spinning at an hour you expected to be long asleep while looking at the clock knowing you need to be up in less than 5 hours. 


Maybe I'll be able to address all that is on my mind at some point but not now.  For now, I have something that will probably bore some readers, repulse others and make some just click on over to the next place you want to go.  Hey, I don't care 'cause it's my blog, right?!  :)


I love music.  OK, I love a lot of different types of music.  I'm a loud and fast guy most of the time but I enjoy classical from time to time, blues more often, jazz on occasion, Robert Earl Keen/Lyle Lovett/Jimmy Buffett/Willie any time, Christian rock and pop most of the time these days, some country and yes, hip-hop.  I grew up playing basketball with some folks who listened to R&B/soul/rap and it's long been a part of my music repertoire.  Now, I've given the appreciation of it to my youngest child.  Uh oh!  Anyway, I've listened to several hip-hop artists popular today and like the music but don't care for the message...until my boy turned me on to Lecrae.  So, I've shared some of my favorite Third Day songs, some good Skillet music and now...crank up the subwoofers...here's Lecrae, Flame and John Reilly singing Joyful Noise.





Grace and peace to you.

Neutral

I feel like I'm stuck in neutral.  I have a desire to do things for the kingdom yet each day I feel like I am just going through the motions to get through the day.  My prayer life is in neutral.  My reading is in neutral.  My journaling is in neutral.  Oddly, while I feel completely in neutral, I have people from a Bible study I lead at work telling me how meaningful some of the things I mentioned meant to them or helped them in how they see things in their life.  I'm thankful because all I ask is that God will speak through me and it makes me wonder if I feel like I'm in neutral simply because I'm not trying to be in control as has been my custom for many years.  Maybe I am in neutral and allowing God to work but I wouldn't expect to feel like I'm in neutral if that's the case.  I'm baffled.


I am looking forward to the coming weeks of our workplace Bible study.  I will be leading a study through one of my favorite books, Crazy Love.  I expect to lose my feeling of neutral while going back through Chan's book because it has moved me so deeply in the past.  Or, maybe I'll feel the same as I ask God to again speak loudly and deliberately through me during that study. 


Grace and peace to you.

Knocked For A Loop

Sinus infections.  I've battled them annually for the past 4 or 5 years and last Thursday brought another humdinger that sidelined me through the weekend and still has me feeling out of sorts but recovering.  It's good to have my eyes still inside my head instead of feeling like they were about to bulge out of their sockets. 


Since I'm still on the road to recovery, I'll share a story found on a friend's blog and maybe get back in the swing of my own thoughts later this week.


Graham Street - Lombardi Story


Grace and peace to you.

Friday's Flogging

...because reading this for a week has to be a beating...
I like that Jason Garrett got the head coaching job for Dallas.  I may watch them next year.
Can the Mavs survive without Dirk and Caron?  Or either?  It started off as a hopeful year but it's not looking good right now.
I've reinvested in the stock market.  Apparently, I subscribe to the "buy high" system.  For those of you not familiar with stock purchasing lingo, that is a bad thing.  I'll share some of my picks with you once the stocks are worth more than I paid and I look like I know what I'm doing.
I just spilled coffee on my leg.  No burns.  No lawsuits.
Someone is encouraging me to use my blog as a platform.  Dude, this is all about me.  Some days I'm just dry and some weeks I'm drier.  This has been one of those weeks.  (For what it's worth, I don't think any of my regulars know this encourager.)
As you are reading this, I'm either loading my fishing gear, on the way to go fishing, fishing or back from fishing.  I'm off to the closest river that has some trout in it and I'm going to forget everything as I work to make a perfect cast and hopefully land a fish or two.  I do nothing that is more therapeutic, more healing than casting a fly rod because it's about the only time I block out everything to focus on one thing.  I need more of that in my life but today, it will come through an almost weightless fly, a tight loop, a tiny ripple, and maybe, just maybe, a tug on my line from a hungry trout.

EDIT:  All that stuff above sounds good doesn't it?  Well, it's just too cold to get on the river today so I will be daydreaming about fishing.


Grace and peace to you.

Thursday Thoughts

Auburn won the National Championship with a QB who is accused of being the best that money can buy and a defensive lineman known for taking cheap shots at other players during the game and I was still rooting for them.  There may be need for some introspection.  :)
Someone asked me yesterday what I thought about all the Muslim activity going on in the U.S.  I'm clueless. 
I suppose I should be more concerned but I have some odd beliefs and worrying about the Muslims isn't going to help anything.  I think there is some pain and turmoil coming our way and I think our society has been too complacent for far too long to turn the tide.  That's all I'll say for now because the rest of the story gets really bizarre.
If you think that is bizarre, you should spend a day in my head.  The things that pass through there...
It would be great if love ruled the world.
I have started counting the number of times each day I or someone else makes a judgment on another party without knowing any facts (I suppose I could be accused of judging others who are making judgment calls on someone else but it is not my intention.  Merely a learning tool for me about how bad I am about doing it).  It's astonishing.  I'm trying hard to quit labeling people and quit applying my (ignorant) conceptions of them and their actions and just love them for who they are.  I hope it gets easier over time.
Let's end on a happy note.  Pitchers and catchers report to Surprise in about a month!  Go Rangers!

Grace and peace to you.

Wednesday Warblings

Another day, another borrowed blog.  I've posted some things from Michael Hyatt in the past (www.michaelhyatt.com).  He's one of my favored bloggers and someone I continue to get good ideas and challenges from.  This blog just cracked me up and I hope you enjoy it.


10 Things You Can't Say At Work

Grace and peace to you.

Tuesday Tidbits

I think I'll keep the goofy titles.  Wednesday Warblings.  Thursday Thoughts.  Goofy.


I'm borrowing a blog post today.  This is from Rick Ross and was something I saw on TV last week.  I was really impressed when Ted rolls off Proverbs 3:5-6 in front of Robin and George on GMA and said it with what seems to be complete conviction and sincerity.


2nd Chances

Grace and peace to you.

Monday Mumblings

I think I'm going low-key this week..
A shout-out to my buddy Jason.  Go Auburn!
A lady was arrested in Wise County for soliciting of murder.  She was wanting a couple of people killed so she could collect insurance, I believe.  When arrested, she was wearing a Mickey Mouse sweatshirt. 
I wish I would have never opened a Facebook account. 
Ignorance really can be bliss.
I think it's ridiculous that the college football championship is being played on January 10th.  It means the NCAA is a) money hungry and b) liars.  Yes, that's harsh but it seems evident they are doing it so more people can watch more bowl games so they can get more commercial revenue.  The NCAA says one reason for no playoffs is that they don't want to keep kids out of school.  The Oregon team has been out of school all of last week.  I think Auburn was a day behind them.  Same for the last few straggling bowls. 
I love March Madness.  LOVE it.


That is all my thoughts that are fit to print.  Stay warm.


Grace and peace to you.

I'm Getting Grumpy

My problem with exercising late is that I have trouble sleeping.
Add problems with Blogger and I'm getting grumpy. So, I'm trying this new app and writing a short post in case it doesn't work.
I learned some things about Adrian Beltre I'm not sure I needed to know today.
Michael Young continues to impress me. He is a selfless ballplayer.

How do you label people? How do you make and justify putting a label on someone you barely know? How would you explain to God your decision to talk negatively about someone you really don't know? How do you explain to God that you feel qualified to call someone when you have no clue what issues they are carrying and having trouble dealing with? What would you do after calling someone worthless only to find out that they are up late every night caring for an ill parent? These are questions I and others had to confront in a Bible study at work yesterday. I think I need to be very careful about what I say. How about you?

We are all God's children. It might be good to treat and speak of people that way.

Grace and peace to you.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Obsession

I'm teaching class tonight as we continue working through Crazy Love.  I think I was asked to teach the chapter on being obsessed with Jesus because it's one that I need to work on so much.  I don't know that I'm obsessed with anything but when I think about what I might be obsessed by "Mercedes" pops into my head.  I've always wanted one and now the Mercedes G500 is on my list of things I really, really want.  I have no need for it.  I don't have the money it takes to acquire one.  I just want one.


Frances Chan, in the study video for Crazy Love, talks about how it makes sense to him that the early Christians were obsessed with Jesus.  They had been around him and listened to him, then they saw him die followed by seeing the empty tomb and the resurrected Christ among them.  They were living in the middle of it so the fact that they gathered together, sold their possessions and took care of each others needs doesn't seem far-fetched.  He goes on (and this is the part I like) and says it would be much harder for him to believe they were obsessed with the Christ if they had said, "hey, let's have services once a week and sing some songs and listen to a sermon and then go our own way the rest of the week."  Cracks me up...and it doesn't change his comment for me very much if you throw in Sunday night and Wednesday night.


I've been satisfied for far too long with making an appearance at the church building and going on my way saying I was a follower of Christ.  I want to be more obsessed with the things Jesus was obsessed with.  Sure, he spent time teaching but his time was much more about helping others with their spiritual AND physical needs.  The church I've attended all my life touts our "pattern theology" and, maybe it's just me, but I don't feel I have been a part of the group that follows the pattern of the church in Acts 2:42.  I'm more accustomed to thinking about what I have, not what I am giving away to someone who needs it.  I'm more accustomed to worrying about tax rates and savings accounts and the size of my 401k than being willing to give all I have and trust God will provide all I need.  I want to look more like that church in 2:42.  I want people to identify me with that body.

I don't want to be misunderstood (though I can imagine it easy when dealing with my crazy mind) so I want to be clear that what I'm talking about is a heart that is willing to give everything to God.  Does that mean that could include physical possessions?  Yes, definitely.  Does that mean I earn any standing with God because I did something?  NO!  I don't want anyone to think I'm saying I have to do some physical act to get in God's good graces.  I lived that theology for far too long.  I'm talking about a heart and mind that is obsessed for God and, I believe, if I have that the physical acts will follow from a desire to be a servant to others.


Chan talks in the video about how the 2:42 church shared all their stuff - their houses, their money, their cars.  It makes me think.  I don't care if anyone borrows my 2002 truck.  It's got 150,000 miles on it, plenty of scratches and I'm not worried about it.  But, park a Mercedes G500 in the driveway and I'm not sure I'm as willing to let you take it as the old truck.  At that point, what am I really obsessed with?


I want to be obsessed with living the life God wants me to live.  Maybe that includes a car that doesn't seem reasonable for me, more likely it doesn't.  Either way, I want to give, to share, to feed the hungry, clothe the naked, give the thirsty something to drink...to be more like Christ.


Grace and peace to you.

Borrowed Material About An Easier Life

This is borrowed from Michael Hyatt's blog (http://michaelhyatt.com).


"Do not pray for easy lives.  Pray to be stronger men.  Do not pray for tasks equal to your powers.  Pray for powers equal to your tasks.  Then the doing of your work shall be no miracle, but you shall be the miracle."  -  Phillip Brooks, U.S. Episcopal Bishop (1835-1893)

I have long prayed that my life would fit into my neat, comfortable idea of what it should be.  This is a good reminder that my prayer should fit into the image of what God wants to do with it.  What can I be if I just let Him work in me?

Grace and peace to you.

Merry New Year!

If you like "Trading Places" as much as I do, you'll know the reference to the title for my post today.
It's 2011, the second year the Rangers will make it to the World Series and the first time they win.
I've never been great at making predictions.  I hope 2011 changes for me.
On December 1st, I wrote that my plan was to shut this blog down at the end of the month.  Well, here it is January 3rd and another post is up.  Go figure.  I started the blog to chronicle a journey I have been traveling and when I started, no one knew all that was going on within me and around me.  Today, more people know my story, know me and my failings, know the tragedy and heartache and have a better idea from where the words have sprung.  I started this blog as my journal, only for me.  I guess I realized other people might find it but I never have written for other people.  It's not about what others should be doing to bring themselves into a closer walk with God, it's all from me and for me.  When I re-read postings, they are words to myself and no one else...at least in my mind.  Yet, since I wrote those words on December 1st, I have been shocked (there is no other word) by the responses I have received about my blog, about the words written for me that helped someone else, about the pain, about the joy, about the suffering, about the healing that has been a part of my journey that also resonates with others.  To those who suggested I keep writing, you bless me.  You remind me of what God wants me to be reminded of; relationships and community.  You remind me that we are all more similar than different, that we all struggle and fall and that for those willing to admit the truth, we are there to help pick each other up, brush each other off and love each other without condition.  God reminds me of things He wants me to know through you.
So, here I go.  My blog posts won't change in that they will still be written to me, to my lows and to my highs, about the valleys I walk through and the mountain tops I am astounded by.  It's by me and for me, as always, but I also hope that God will continue to use it for anyone else who might benefit from it.

Grace and peace to you.