Third Day, Third Tune

I guess this is song week.  You might have noticed by my Tuesday selection that it was a bit of a wacky day.  The fact is I've been coasting the past few months.  My journey over the past few years has been a rollercoaster and I was tired of the ride.  I wanted a smooth ride with no bumps, no pain.  I quit reading while saying I just couldn't focus.  I quit listening, saying I needed peace.  I was coasting with God, not growing with God.


I've been blessed by some good friends who speak truth to me and their words were getting dangerously close to truth I didn't want to hear.  I avoided the conversation or said it was something I needed to think about...but I didn't.  So, I think God put some things in motion in my life that forced me to face truth, another 2X4 to the head.  Monday night and Tuesday were a night and day of brokenness.  Painful brokenness.  Brokenness that God used to bring me back to Him, to get me off the coasting ride and to put me on the ride that is headed closer to Him.  He put a book in front of me last week that I needed to start reading today...and I did.  And, I'll give him credit for opening my ears to the words of this song today, a song I've listened to several times but didn't LISTEN to what it was saying.  I hope you enjoy.


Don't Give Up performed by Third Day

This world just keeps on getting crazier and crazier everyday
You’re so afraid
Sometimes it feels like it’s chasing your sanity away
And you start to break
Let me help you find your way

Don’t give up faith
Don’t give up hope
There’s always something better
Waiting around the corner
Don’t give up now
Please, don’t let go
What can feel like the ending
Could just be the beginning
Don’t give up hope

Your life is spinning like a rocket that’s gone out of control
And you’ve let go
You’re slowly losing your confidence, you’re a wounded soul
But I hope you know
I can help you find your way

Don’t give up faith
Don’t give up hope
There’s always something better
Waiting around the corner
Don’t give up now
Please, don’t let go
What can seem like the ending

Could just be the beginning
Don’t give up hope
Don’t give up hope now

Don’t turn around
Keep on moving
Find your faith
You’ll be doing all right now
Don’t look back
Keep on moving
Find your faith
And you’ll be doing all right now
Don’t look back
Keep on moving
Find your faith
And you’ll be doing all right now

Don’t give up faith
Don’t give up hope
There’s always something better
Waiting around the corner
Don’t give up now
Please, don’t let go
What can seem like the ending
Could just be the beginning

God has something better for me around the corner.  A closer, deeper, more intimate relationship with Him than I have yet experienced.  Along with it, I think He has some new resolve for me too, resolve to quit seeing my relationship with Him the way that I have in the past.  I have allowed myself to accept programming that my performance was never good enough for people close to me...and I cast that same idea on God.  I know intellectually that isn't the way God works and I believe my next area of growth is learning to believe it in my heart...to believe His feelings for me never waver.  I've said it before and I'm ready to say it again, I'll never trade the pain for where it takes me with God.

Grace and peace to you.

New Day, New Tune

I read the 3rd chapter of 2 Peter with anticipation.  I look forward to the Lord's return and would prefer it be now rather than later.  I am tired of this world.  I'm tired of it's hurting.  I'm tired of it's suffering.  It's not that I can't find joy here but I like to imagine what waits for me there.


Today, I heard There Will Be A Day sung by Jeremy Camp and it renewed my desire for His coming.


I try to hold on to this world with everything I have
But I feel the weight of what it brings, and the hurt that trys to grab
The many trials that seem to never end, His word declares this truth,
that we will enter in this rest with wonders anew

But I hold on to this hope and the promise that He brings
That there will be a place with no more suffering

There will be a day with no more tears, no more pain, and no more fears
There will be a day when the burdens of this place, will be no more, we’ll see Jesus face to face
But until that day, we’ll hold on to you always

I know the journey seems so long
You feel your walking on your own
But there has never been a step
Where you’ve walked out all alone

Troubled soul don’t lose your heart
Cause joy and peace he brings
And the beauty that’s in store
Outweighs the hurt of life’s sting

I can’t wait until that day where the very one I’ve lived for always will wipe away the sorrow that I’ve faced
To touch the scars that rescued me from a life of shame and misery this is why this is why I sing….

There will be a day with no more tears, no more pain, and no more fears
There will be a day when the burdens of this place, will be no more, we’ll see Jesus face to face

There will be a day, He’ll wipe away the stains, He’ll wipe away the tears, He’ll wipe away the tears…..there will be a day. 

 

The past few weeks have brought new challenges to my life, challenges that make me long for what is ahead.  I am challenged to figure out who I am and it has brought some hard, hard moments for me and for people near me.  I may write about some of those in the next 30 days, I may not.  I have a journal where I keep my most raw, most vulnerable comments.  I have a decision to make and I'm not sure where to go with it.  Today, my plan is to shut the blog down at the end of this month and go a different direction and I'm not sure if I want to go out with feel-good theme or with some tough stuff.  There are some who have told me this blog helped them and I am thankful for God giving me the words to do it.  Others may have stopped by just to see the freak show unfold.  I don't know what the next 30 days will bring...or the days after that.  But I do believe there will be a day and I long for it.

Grace and peace to you.

I Could Tell You What You Want To Hear...

I keep it caged but I can't control it
So stay away from me, the beast is ugly
I feel the rage and I just can't hold it

It's scratching on the walls, in the closet, in the halls
It comes awake and I can't control it
Hiding under the bed, in my body, in my head
Why won't somebody come and save me from this, make it end?

I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I hate what I've become, the nightmare's just begun
I must confess that I feel like a monster

I, I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster

My secret side I keep hid under lock and key
I keep it caged but I can't control it
'Cause if I let him out he'll tear me up, break me down
Why won't somebody come and save me from this, make it end?

I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I hate what I've become, the nightmare's just begun
(From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/s/skillet-lyrics/monster-lyrics.html)
I must confess that I feel like a monster

I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster

It's hiding in the dark, it's teeth are razor sharp
There's no escape for me, it wants my soul, it wants my heart
No one can hear me scream, maybe it's just a dream
Maybe it's inside of me, stop this monster

I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I hate what I've become, the nightmare's just begun
I must confess that I feel like a monster

I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I've gotta lose control, he something radical
I must confess that I feel like a monster

I, I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster



Monster performed by Skillet

Thanksgiving. The Day After

I have spent some time this past week wondering what all people will say and what I would say when asked, what are you giving thanks for.  My world has been turned upside down and I have been separated from what has meant the most to me on this earth.  Honestly, I still don't feel very thankful at times but there are some things that stand out to me:


I'm thankful for the people who have loved me knowing my failings and my darkest secrets.  You have given me courage to continue facing a new day each morning.
I'm thankful for the people I have asked to pray specific prayers for me because I am in a season where I seldom pray.
I'm thankful for the people who have prayed for me not knowing what to pray for or ask for.  God knows your heart and I trust He has used your love for me in ways He knows are best.
I'm thankful for people who have suffered greatly before me because you can speak to my pain and sadness and heartbreak with understanding.
I'm thankful for people who have challenged me in my thoughts and desires.  Your desire to keep me from going backwards by lovingly, and sometimes harshly, pushing me forward has been a blessing.
I'm thankful for Christian counseling.  I have learned things about myself, my heart and my mind that have walked me through years of mistakes to the root causes allowing me to begin working on changes that will hopefully aid me in making good decisions into the future.
I'm thankful for brief words of kindness and a hug.  Knowing you care means more than I can put into words.
I'm thankful for people who let me be honest when they ask how I'm doing.  You know that sometimes what you will hear will be painful, ugly and filled with tears and you allow me to do it anyway.
I'm thankful for people who have brought their brokenness to me.  You have shown me that God can and will use my grief and pain for His glory.


I'm sure I could go on but there is one more that overshadows all of the above.


I am thankful for a loving and patient Lord.  You, Lord, have taught me that the prodigal son story isn't just a Bible story but my story.  You have shown me that my story fits in your story, a story of broken people who have fallen and continue to find your love ever-present.  You have shown me what love is and should be.  You have shown me that it is OK to live through the mistakes of my past because you love what will be, not what was.  You have shown me that there is healing in confession and the power of relationships that are aligned with you.  You have shown me what it is to wait, patiently.  You never quit me,  you never let go, you never stopped loving and being faithful in your hope for me.  Without you I know there would be nothing to be thankful for.  With you, I know there will be joy in the days ahead.  You, Lord, are what I am truly thankful for.

Thanksgiving

I live in a time and place that is unbelievable.  We have so much living in America.  I take for granted so many things that I have access to as if it is just a normal way of life.  How about you?


How thankful are you for clean water?  In October I was fortunate enough to hear Scott Harrison's story in person.  It is fascinating to hear how he decided to use his life to help others.  Scott's Story

I was moved by what Harrison had to say and moved by his efforts to sustain what he started.  One of Charity Water's efforts is birthday giving - people sign up and ask their friends to give money to Charity:Water instead of to the birthday person.  Guess what?  I have a birthday coming up next month and I'm asking you to consider giving.  Just $1.  If you want to give more, great.  It's an incredible ministry and I will be supporting it on a continuing basis and hope you will consider it.  If you feel so moved, follow this link and you can donate and help people in 3rd world countries be thankful for clean water that doesn't make them sick and doesn't kill them.

Support clean drinking water for my birthday!

Whether you give or not, please offer up a prayer for people who have little, if any, of the things we take for granted.  Clean water.  Food.  Clothes.  Love.

Grace and peace to you.

Christmas Tunes

I'm not a "holiday spirit" kind of guy.  I can't explain it and really don't care to delve into it.  I am who I am and I wonder why the world doesn't just have the holiday spirit (kindness, courtesy, good tidings, giving) all year long.  Maybe working in retail, it has only skewed my jaded view of the commercialism (people being trampled at 5:00 in the morning to get to the category-killers) of Christmas.  Enough.  I could go on but then somebody would want to try and fix me and that just spells disaster for all of us.


Back to holiday spirit.  I do have a little and this video is compelling to me.  I would love to be shopping when this happens.




Hallelujah!

Grace and peace to you.

The Week It Was

It was one of "those" weeks last week.  A week on the rollercoaster of life but it seemed like the rollercoaster was going down, rapidly, more than it was going up.  It's a week that I'm glad is behind me but it is a week that made me examine some things in my life and spend a little time contemplating where I go from here.  Maybe more on that later.  For now, I want to share a blog from Jonathon Storment.  I don't know him but have read many of his blogs and have found some peace in reading them from time to time.  This one was good for me.


Jonah Serves Chicken Wings

Grace and peace to you.

Misfire

I'm not hitting on all cylinders this morning so this is just gobbley-gook.


I don't know how to spell gobbley-gook.


I hear the Cowboys won.  Yeah.  I guess.  I'm waiting for Spring Training.


The road trip was good.  Relaxing.  Too short in many ways, long enough in others.  I love the hill country of Texas and I love the Comal and Guadalupe.  I'm waiting for a sign that I need to live there.  On the river of course.  Near the good fly-fishing waters.


A guy in the Gruene Outfitters told me the best fishing for native trout would be in the next 2 weeks.  I haven't figured out how to make my return trip just yet but I'm working on it.


It would be nice to come back from a relaxing trip and have a relaxing week but that is not the case.  I have something every night.  There's a chance at least one meeting will get canceled so I can unpack.


I am thankful for good friends who take care of me and challenge me and love me unconditionally.  From talking to people, God has blessed me with more than other people have.  I hope to let them all know how much they mean to me in the coming days. 


If you know me, you know I think heaven has some beautiful trout streams running through it.  I saw a little slice of heaven this weekend.  God is an incredible creator.  He made so much beauty.  I'm guilty of looking around me and seeing it in nature but not in His created people.  Today, I want to see His handiwork in the people I talk to and to remember He is the Father of all.


Grace and peace to you.

Road Trip

I'm hitting the road this morning.  A trip I've had planned for awhile.  A trip that I hope will offer all I want from it.  I trust it will be a good day.


Did you buy Move by Third Day yet? 


Here's another sampling.  A friend pointed out this song, Sound of Your Voice, to me and it has quickly become one of my favorites.  Below are some of the lyrics.

I ran away from your love
But you waited for me
Yes, you waited for me
And then I heard your song
Singing over me 

Sing your song to me
Oh, there's no greater thing
Than to listen to the sound of your voice  

Lord, I am calling your name
And I'm waiting for you
Yes, I'm waiting for you
So won't you show me your way
And I will follow you
Yes, I will follow you

Singing over me
Bringing peace and mercy
With a song that never ends
Singing over me
Marvelous and holy
Lord, I want to hear your song again

I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.  I want to hear God's voice.

Grace and peace to you.  

Third Day - Surrender

So this week's blogs didn't look anything like what I had planned.  Funny how life intervenes sometimes.


I've got some new stuff from Francis Chan to share and hopefully I'll get that out there next week.


We are studying his book Crazy Love in our youth class and I've got a couple of neat stories to share sometime.  I think teens and young adults have more spiritual maturity about them than at any time in my life.  In fact, I had lunch yesterday with an old friend who is a Campus Minister at SMU and asked him his thoughts.  He told me about a study done by some university that agreed with that - not that the kids agreed with everything we've grown up being taught or that I would agree with some of their ideas (no absolute truth) but they are more connected to God than my generation was/is.


If you know me, you know I love Third Day.  If you haven't bought their new CD, Move, then move now and go get it.  One of my favorite songs is Surrender.  Maybe the bluesy start has something to do with it and I do like the bass beat when thumping on my sub-woofers but it's the them of the song that connects.  Part of the lyrics say:


'Cause inside you find
That you are slowly dying

Some of us realize at some point in life that we are dying a slow death from the inside out.  Our body still functions but our heart is dying.  I was there...I was dying...and, praise God, in a time of brokenness He rescued me.  He saved me from dying but I had to surrender and I am still learning to surrender more and more to Him every day.

Surrender (click on the link)

Grace and peace to you.

Just Another Birthday Party

I told one of my loyal readers the other day that I'm a great advocate for serving others but not so great at practicing what I preach.  I'm on a journey to know God and His desire for me and to live it out in my life better each day.


Another loyal reader presses me sometimes on my comments about service.  Growing up in the faith tradition we have, there have been times where service was seen as the end goal, not a by-product of a heart for God; seen as a way to build "credit" in the body, not as a selfless act that brings us closer to being one with Christ and each other. 


Yesterday, I ran across this video.  I'm still processing what all he is saying, still processing the idea of putting myself in the same place he was, still processing what it might all look like to live for others.  I hope you enjoy the story though and I hope it challenges you.




Grace and peace to you.

Thankful For Friends

Before I get down to what I want to say...how 'bout that Colt McCoy.  Great game yesterday!

I deleted the post I had planned for today because a friend called me out on something I have said recently they don't agree with.  I'm thankful for friends willing to call me out.


Sometimes I talk way too much.  Some of you might find that hard to believe because I prefer not to talk much at all.  When I do, I'm thankful for friends who don't stick a sock in my mouth. 


I'm flawed.  Some of my closest friends know just how flawed I am and they keep on loving me...even when I do something I shouldn't do more than once.  I am thankful for friends who love me unconditionally and who challenge me to be better today than I was yesterday.


I don't always listen to good advice but I always need good advice.  I am blessed to have friends who don't tell me what I want to hear but what I need to hear.  Every now and then I heed their wise words and thank God for their presence in my life.


I have much to be thankful for, nothing greater than the thanks I give God for loving me in ways no one else ever has or ever will.  Nothing can make me more thankful than the love of my Lord.


Grace and peace to you.

What Do I Do Now?

Baseball season is over.  What do I do now?


It was great following the Rangers this year.  It was an odd year attending only 2 games in the first half of the season due to my son's baseball schedule and then sitting/standing in the crowd at Game 6 of the ALCS and Game 5 of the World Series.  I never would have pictured that.  Nor would I have pictured Cliff Lee pitching in a Rangers uni.  Or Cliff losing 2 games in the Series.  I didn't picture C.J. Wilson becoming a dominant starter or David Murphy being the man of the moment so many times or Vlad struggling at the plate like he did.  But then I never pictured Vlad crushing balls during the season before they day they signed him.  I didn't think Greenberg/Ryan would have so much trouble buying the team but I'm certainly glad they did.


I think we will look back in years to come thinking we have had the best ownership group in the game and one of the sharpest GM's in all of baseball.  Theo Epstein was the wonder-child in Boston for so many years, Jon Daniels is the new version.  I still don't know what I think of Ron Washington but I do believe the players will play their hearts out for him.


I've never had people willing to buy my tickets in August.  Not only willing but calling asking if I had tickets for certain games in August.  I usually can't give them away.  I wore the same clothing to 15 games and the Rangers won.  I have fun with baseball superstitions that way.  I wore it to Game 5 of the World Series and they didn't win and I had lots of people looking at me in bewilderment that I wasn't dressed in Rangers red.  Well, the mojo failed that game and the lucky outfit is retired.  Maybe.  I might try it for one game next season and see what happens.


Here's where I thought about a moral to the Rangers saga but you can make your own.  Today, it's just about baseball.  It's a game I didn't enjoy growing up but one I have come to love through the eyes and efforts of my son.  I used to go to games thinking they were boring.  Now I have an appreciation for every nuance of the game - the position of the batter's feet, the path of his hands through the swing, the finish, the pitcher's movements, arm slot, release points.  I watch how base-runners step off the bag getting their lead, the size of their steps.  I'm more aware of how the wind is blowing and what effect that has on a fly ball hit by a left hander to left field as opposed to right field.  There are so many little games within the game...and I love it.  Yes, there are plenty of object lessons to make from baseball and this season for the hometown team.  Today, I miss it and can't wait for spring training in roughly 3 months.


Grace and peace to you. 

Email, Facebook and Twitter vs. The Power of God

I'm stepping up on my soapbox today.  Give me space and give me leniency.

I get lots of emails and Facebook messages and a few tweets wanting me to forward on some new thing that people are in an uproar about.  It makes me want to scream.  Instead, I have refused to forward them or reply to them.  I have refused to jump on the "outrage of the moment" bandwagon.  Does that make me a good person?  Nope.  In fact, maybe I should jump on the bandwagon but every time I get one of those there is this thought inside my head saying "do something more."


Here's the deal.  I read John 14:15 and it says "If you love me, you will pass along emails complaining about what someone you don't agree with is doing."  Whoops, hang on.  I messed up because it says "If you love me, you will keep my commands."  Now, I don't remember the commands to forward emails or Facebook statuses and then sit back at the water cooler and talk about why the world is going to hell in a handbasket.  I do remember "go" and "give" and "make disciples" and some things that had Jesus out doing, not passing along scrolls.  I suppose he could have had God write out some rules and then sit in the temple courts and ask people if they had read it and to forward it on...but He didn't.  Instead, He served.


I don't think emails, Facebook and Twitter have the power to win the world for Christ but I think service does.  My friends who work at WARM touching the hungry and the poor live in that power.  My friends who work up at Gear Up live in that power.  People I know who move into neighborhoods that are poor and drug-infested and crime-infested so they can model Jesus to rough characters live in that power.  People I know who go into prisons sharing the Good News live in that power.  People I know who do simple acts of kindness to the hurting live in that power.  People who encourage others live in that power.


I want live more deeply and more rooted in that power, the power that speaks volume in actions towards the disenfranchised of this world, the hungry and the poor, the hurting and the lost - not because my actions are anything - but because the love for God and love of God that provokes those actions can change and heal hearts.


An email, a status update, a tweet won't mean diddly until the whole world sees the power of God's love played out in the lives of service of His children.


God, give me your eyes to see what you see and the understanding to go where you would have me go and the courage to do what you want me to do.


Grace and peace to you.

Conviction

I walked into a local financial institution and was chatting with the teller when the subject of the employees dressing for Halloween came up.  As humbly as she could, she told me "I don't celebrate Halloween.  I just feel like it represents evil and I'm not comfortable with it so I won't be dressing up with them."  The look on her face was a mixture of conviction and "uh oh, should I have said that?" 


Now, I'm not completely sure where I stand on Halloween.  Dressing up and doing all that stuff wasn't what led me to dark decisions throughout my life but at the same time, I think we must be careful we are not giving enough weight to the meaning of certain things.  I can appreciate her feelings towards Halloween and I might lean more towards agreeing with her today than I used to.


Here's what impressed me though - her conviction and willingness to humbly and meekly share it with me.  I like people who are convicted because for too long I have been wishy-washy.  I may have believed something but didn't get into with people I didn't know really well and was comfortable telling something that was out of the norm.  It reminded me of this video I've posted before (Penn gets a Bible).


I want to share my conviction.  I want to be more authentic about my love for Christ.  I want to share the Good News more and trust that God loves me for doing it even if the person I'm talking to doesn't.  Why?  Because it might be the only time that person hears a testimony about God's love for his creation.


I appreciated the bank teller's conviction and I will be sure to let her know the next time I'm there.


Grace and peace to you.

Home Sweet Home

"Our homes have become a shrine to the worship of self because we see them as our refuge instead of Jesus."

I got this off of Twitter last week.  I thought it was a powerful message in itself.  Then I spent the weekend with some kids from Abilene who have made the decision to live and work in the worst neighborhood in the city.  They open their doors to their neighbors.  They provide meals twice a week that everyone is invited to.  They eat rice and beans for most of their meals because they want to live more like the world lives than in the excess of what most Americans think is normal.  Their home is a not a refuge but a mission field.  They eat with drug abusers.  They eat with convicts.  They eat with people who know how to resolve things with their fists...and knives...and guns.  They eat with the very people who break into their house and steal from them and when they find out who the thief was, they let him/her know that they love them.

John was an ex-con who started coming around.  He is a gang member, a school drop-out and an all-around rough character.  He came and ate with them a few times.  He talked to them a few times.  Eventually, John spent the night at their house a few times when he had nowhere else to sleep.  John's cousin stole a bike from their house and when the guy that owned the bike saw the cousin riding it, he pulled up next to the cousin and talked to him as a friend, not an accuser.  The bike owner put the word out that he had given the cousin the bike because he needed it.  John couldn't quite figure that out.  John went back to jail for a former crime and while he was incarcerated, decided that people did love him.  It was something he hadn't experienced for most of his short life.  John got out of prison, got his GED, still hangs out with these guys some and is trying to turn his life around.  A few weeks ago, John called one of the guys and asked for the phone number of one of their former roommates, Ben, who had a very expensive camera stolen from the house.  A little while later, John called back and said he had called Ben to tell him he has stolen the camera (before his recent jail time), that he was going to sell the $1,000+ camera for $20, that the guy he was selling it to started looking through the pictures and it was the guys in the house playing with the neighborhood kids, pictures of love and community.  John tried to take the camera back but the buyer was bigger and maybe had more weapons.  John ran and didn't get any money.

John's punishment wasn't more jail time.  It was a guilty conscience that grew out of being surrounded by love instead of hatred, by people who wanted to be his friend, not prison guards.  Love is changing John in ways jail never could.  Who knows where this story may go?

I did this exercise with our youth group last week because it's one I need to do myself over and over.  Ready 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 and insert "God" in place of "love" (or where the words refer to love).  God is love.  Now read it again and put your name in place of "love" and see if the scripture still fits.

I will keep doing it until "Jeff is patient, Jeff is kind.." and "Jeff never fails" is more reality than a good idea.

Love can change the world.

Grace and peace to you.

More Or Less

Ouch.  The Rangers looked bad last night.  I was happy to attend a World Series game but I really hoped it would also be a Rangers win.  That said, if I have a team that needs 3 consecutive wins, I'd be glad to have a team rolling out Cliff Lee, CJ Wilson and Colby Lewis.  Let's go Rangers!


I spent the weekend in the woods of East Texas with 60+ teenagers for our annual youth group fall retreat.  I leave each year more awestruck than the year before at the spiritual depth and energy of these kids.  I see a group who is driven more by relationships, community and love than anything I have seen.  I would love to write about all that I saw and heard but it would take too much time.  I'll just say I feel very comfortable with the future knowing these young people will be there.


Our theme verse for this year is John 3:30, "He must be greater; I must become less. 


I must become less.  Less prideful.  Less worried about the future.  Less of all the things that take my focus off the cross and the power of the resurrection. 


As I sat in the woods during some time alone with God, I watched dead leaves falling to the ground.  Leaves that once were colorful and alive, now brown and dead.  My lifespan on earth is short, far too short to always be thinking about what I need and want, far too short to miss seeing the needs of others. 


He must become greater in my life, in my actions...in my heart.


Grace and peace to you.

Late Morning Post

My hopes for a 4 game sweep were swept out the door last night.  Now I have to find tickets to Game 5 and may even have to fly to San Fran to see 6 & 7. 

Oh, and while I'm dreaming of finding tickets and traveling, I'd also like to mention my yachts on both coasts, my high end Mercedes with the AMG package and my condos along several of the best fishing waters around the world.  Yes, if I'm going to dream why not dream excessively?!

I'm ready for this weekend.  I will spend Saturday and Sunday with 60+ kids and 20+ adults in the woods of East Texas exploring God's call for our lives.  It will be challenging, tiring and fun.  I got to speak to our youth group last night and while they probably thought I'm just some crazy old guy, I got to say some things that I know God put on my heart for me to hear.  I hope it helped someone else too.

It's a beautiful day.  It's a day that the Lord has made.

Grace and peace to you.

Why?

I have asked God "why?" more times in the past year than I might have asked him in the past 45 years.  Today, like many days, I ask why children have to suffer.  Adults, I can understand.  They have experience and they have seen more suffering which means they should be able to deal with it better than a child.  This weekend I lost a friend but 2 kids lost a father and all I can muster is "why?"


I'm attending the funeral today and all I can think is "why?"  In my life, I have seen how my trials and struggles have allowed me to reach out to other people yet I don't feel like I can reach some of the people closest to me.  Why?  Bad things happen that I didn't want to happen but couldn't stop.  Why?  The same pain I feel is felt by others and it could create issues for generations to come.  Why?  Why did you let it happen God?  You can speak a word and the world can stop.  So why didn't you stop this?  Why?

I know that God is a much bigger thinker and visionary than I am.  I know His ways are not my ways and his thoughts are not my thoughts.  Praise God for that because in my limited ability to understand, all I can come up with is "why?" 

Jeremiah 29:11. 

I just wish I knew too but I will accept there are reasons I don't.

I would ask anyone reading this to say a prayer for Sergio Gonzales' family today.

Grace and peace to you.

Planes, Trains and Automobiles

It was a wacky travel day for me yesterday.  I flew to OKC in a Cessna, was driven to my destination in a mini-van, was returned to the airport in a Freightliner, couldn't fly out because of mechanical problems and made it home in a rented Hyundai.  Today, it's most likely I'll drive my truck to work and then drive it home. 

I watched snippets of the Cowboys game last night.  U-G-L-Y.  Goodbye Wade.  I think people have already said goodbye to the offensive line because they don't seem to be there any longer.

I was fortunate enough to be at Game 5 of the ALCS last Friday to witness history.  An incredible night and I'm excited about what's coming in the World Series.  I'll be at Game 4 too! 

I got a couple of incredibly touching responses to a blog I wrote last week.  They both touched me and challenged me to pray about what is written here.  Of course, today's post isn't much to pray over but I do hope I am given the thoughts and words in days to come to encourage, to give peace, to share the blessings of grace and mercy, to spread love and to challenge more growth in God's will.  The kicker is I hope it is me who will get all of those things out of what is written as much or more than anyone else who reads it.

Grace and peace to you.

The Call ot Mediocrity

I'm expecting an email today in response to this post from one of you out there, an email that will challenge me to think more deeply about this subject before I dive in to teach it in a few days.  That said, here goes...

Matthew 5:48 - Do you best because God knows you can't be perfect.  Give your best effort even to follow God's will, even if it's only an 85% effort because God knows what kind of day you are having.

That was from the New Living Busy And Trying To Make It Through The Day translation.

The Bible I normally use states it this way, "Be perfect, therefore, as your Heavenly Father is perfect."

Early in that chapter, in the first translation I used, it says stuff like "Blessed are the middle class because they are the working class and they will be able to put food on their table" and "Blessed are those who attend church on Sunday and watch sitcoms the rest of the week for they will inherit the sofa" and "Blessed are those who avoid persecution, who avoid not-fitting-in and who avoid ever knowing a poor, hungry, homeless person for they can focus on their own wants."  It's an interesting read.

If I don't strive for perfection, what should I strive for?  95%?  80%?  70%?  Be perfect therefore as your Heavenly Father is perfect.  Perfection in what you might ask?  Good question!  Is it our actions?  Our thoughts?  Honestly, this is tough for me to put into words what is in my head but I'll try anyway.  I think (that should be a big caveat right there) it means we should be perfect in our love for God and for His desire for us.  Does that include actions?  YES!  Does that include our thoughts?  YES!  John 14:15 says something to the affect of "If you love me you will OBEY my command."  What is it that we obey?  Jesus teaches us to love, to feed the hungry, to clothe the naked, to give water to the thirsty.  He teaches us to love each other.  In fact Jesus tells us that if we truly love him, we will love each other.  Now, what will you do for a person you love?  Maybe a better question is what will you not do for a person you love?  I offer that if we love people the way Jesus loves us and if we obey His commands we are called to action, action that is remarkably similar to what Jesus did while walking the earth.  AND, if I love others and obey Jesus' commands won't I avoid other actions and thoughts that stop me from being perfect as God is perfect? 

The problem is, I don't do all that.  I don't obey Jesus' commands all the time and God knows that.  The beauty of God's love is that He gave His son, His PERFECT son as a sacrifice for me so that my imperfections of yesterday would be covered by His blood and I start today fresh...new...clean...and ready to strive for perfection again.

For your parents out there, here's a question.  What do you tell your children is acceptable and, whatever acceptable is, when they fall below that do you cane them, beat them, lock them in a closet or quit loving them?  Or, do you let them start over, start fresh and keep loving them and trying to give them all they need to meet what you consider acceptable? 

Achieving perfection isn't about getting a gold star because of something we did, achieving perfection is all about loving God, giving Him our heart and obeying His commands because our Father loves us so completely, fully and unconditionally.

Grace and peace to you.

What The World Needs Now...

Living without constant Internet access has been a new experience.  I've grown to expect it and now, not having it, I feel lost at times.  I almost get the feeling I should pick up a book and start reading again.  Old school.

I'm going to Game 6 tomorrow night. 

What the world needs now is love, sweet love.  Wasn't that a song from way back in the day?  Anyway, love would be great but in the meantime just being kinder would be a great start.  Following is a link to Rick Ross' post today about kindness.  It just struck a chord with me this morning so I share it with you.
Followers of Kindness

Grace and peace to you.

As If...

there was anything I would talk about today.


Cliff Lee.  Un-b-LEE-vable.
Texas Rangers.  Outstanding.

Josh Hamilton's homer to get the Rangers on the board was incredible and the added runs at the end of the game sure sent a message to the Yankees fans as they left in droves.  The Rangers are for real. 

I'm good with a Tommy Hunter/A.J. Burnett matchup tonight.  Burnett's a bit of a head case and coming off a lot of downtime.  Hunter isn't a great pitcher but can pound the strike zone and eat some innings.  Tonight well may come down to the bullpens and while the Rangers can be shaky, the Yankees showed last night that they aren't perfect either.

Let's go Rangers!

Grace and peace to you.

I'm Getting Slower

I haven't done a good job blogging of late.  There is much on my mind but, once again, it's not coming out of my head and onto paper in a sensible state.  Many people would tell you that most of what comes out of my head doesn't come out in a sensible state.  I don't always disagree! 


GO RANGERS!  Cliff Lee is on the bump tonight.  I don't care what you have planned.  Drop it and watch the game.  If you are a Yankees fan, I hope your sewer has problems and you get tied up with that. 


I had some great conversations with friends, new and old, this weekend.  Wonderful times.


Here's a thought I had from yesterday that I'm still working on but it's rolling around in my head; I look for God to be a warrior in my physical life and expect Him to serve me in my spiritual life.  God is expecting me to serve Him in my physical life while He takes on the role of warrior in my spiritual life. 

I hear people talk about God being a warrior and I wonder why He isn't winning the battles I want Him to win.  I think I'm looking in the wrong places again, wanting God to do my will.  I read John Eldredge and others talking about the God in battle and I don't see the victory but I'm looking in the physical realm and ignoring the spiritual realm.  ALERT!  God's not the problem here.

It was a good reminder for me of where the battle is, of what the lamb is and who should be serving who (or is that whom?). 

Grace and peace to you.

Ginger Ale

The Rangers won!  Here's to hoping the next series goes at least 6 games because I have tickets for Game 6. 


I thought it was cool that the players celebrated with ginger ale so Josh Hamilton and C.J. Wilson could join the party.  That's a little glimpse of who this team is.


The scripture that popped up on my blog today was Jeremiah 29:11.  I love it but always wish Jeremiah 29:12 would contain specifics of what the plans are for me.

I wish I didn't have desert places.  I feel like I'm entering into one now and it seems impossible to explain to someone else why I feel that way.  But I do.  I know God uses the desert to teach me and refine me.  I would prefer a cabin in the mountains.  The desert is so desolate.  It doesn't have all the stuff I want, the stuff that makes me comfortable, that stuff that allows my mind to wander, the stuff I'm used to.  No, it's just me and God.  Me learning to trust that all I need will be provided and to be content with that.  God there with his arms open, waiting for me to choose him or my own path.  I don't like the desert but my previous trip through it brought me to new heights of recognition of who and what God is and for that, I am thankful for the journey.

Grace and peace to you.

Need. Sleep.

The Rangers play tomorrow for all the marbles.  I wish I felt better about it.


Charity: Water.  Check it out at www.charitywater.org.  This is an organization that has a great story and is doing a great work.  I heard the founder speak at Catalyst East 2010 last week and it was a great experience that makes me want to do much, much more to help the world.  I'll probably have more to say about Charity: Water in the coming days/weeks.

I want to give more money away.  I've heard of people recently who are trying to build their budget so they can give 50% of their income away.  One of the first comments I hear from people in the church is "but, what about _____________________?"  You can fill in the blank with retirement, emergency funds, college funds, etc.  The question I want to ask myself is "how am I going to get there?" 


I'm frustrated I can't help a friend break through a wall in his relationship with God.  I have to keep reminding myself that it is his relationship and he has to own it.  I can't do it for him but I sure want to because I know the pain he is in now and I know there is a way out.  I pray God gives me the words to say to him that will help him check his ego and fall on his face before the Lord.


Separation from the people you love the most is hard.  I wish I could re-write history in a more favorable script for my life but I don't have yesterday anymore and I don't have tomorrow yet...just today.  While my pain doesn't subside a great deal, I pray that I will walk the path God has for me today and that I will align my desire with His good and perfect plan for me.


I heard a great message this past Sunday.  I love Romans and the many, many messages that are there to lift me up and draw me closer to God. 


Grace and peace to you.

Wowsy Woo Woo

Good writers would tell me to work on my titles I'm guessing.


How about those Rangers?!  I can't believe I'm missing the games but glad they are winning without me.


I've spent the last 2 days and will spend today at a Christian Leadership conference and I am getting filled up.  It's tough because I'm overfilled and can't process it all right now but what a great blessing to be a part of this.  A few thoughts from the past 2 days:

* Francis Chan in person is SO MUCH BETTER than in a book or on a video.  What an incredibly inspirational guy.  The funny thing is, he doesn't want to be that guy.  He simply wants to see his life fit in the Bible story so that if you read a story of his life, it would fit with the stories of the apostles.  Novel idea.  (Short aside here, if you haven't read his book Crazy Love I think you are missing out.  I think it's a must-read for any Christian.  Make that MUST-READ.)

* Andy Stanley is a great storyteller.  I heard the story of Esau today in a way I never had and it convicted me I need to be careful of stew.  I hope that makes you wonder what I'm talking about it because I hope to share it one day.

* There are a lot of Christian leaders who need a new hairstyle, need a shave, need new shoes, need to drop the skinny jeans.  I'm also guessing the guys with lots of piercings and tattoos aren't from the Church of Christ (but I think Rick and Jacob could start a new trend!).  

* There are some incredibly talented musicians/singers serving the Lord.  I really liked the reggae stuff I heard today.  (Shout out to EC!)

* Beth Moore said she felt odd speaking today because the audience is predominantly male.  T.D. Jakes is up tomorrow and I wonder if he will feel odd also.  The audience is very light skinned!  :)

* I'm looking forward to hearing Jakes.  I've watched some video clips and he certainly brings it in what I've seen.

* I got to spend some time Wednesday night with an old friend.  I appreciate how time helps our perspectives on the way we see things.

* Compassion International does incredible work.  Project 7 Coffee is a great new opportunity.  Check 'em out.

What has been driven home the most...I want to give more.  More money, more time, more love.

Grace and peace to you.

God Answers Prayers

The Rangers won soundly.  Could there be any doubt God answers prayer?  OK, just trying to be funny there so I hope I don't get hit by lightning.  Go get 'em, CJ!


I've been thinking about shutting down the blog again.  So many questions, so often too few answers.  Then, someone I don't know writes a response that I can only believe is God talking through her encouraging me to keep going.  So I will.  God answers prayers.


Then, in the midst of a hard day mentally, emotionally and spiritually, I hear this comment; "when did God ever ask anyone to do something that was easy?"  It was an answer to the prayer of "where are you God?"  I'm starting to feel alone again, abandoned may be a better word.  I'm under attack and trying to understand things but it's hard right now.  Tough stuff is happening with/through people close to me and it is trying and I wonder why God isn't setting hearts and minds right and then I get that question posed today.  And I think it's God answer to my question of where He is.  He's right here, ready to walk me through a hard time but using the hard time to open my eyes, to open my mind, to open my heart to His desire to exhibit love in all things.


It has taken me to a thought I had several months back that all my growth with God has come in the midst of pain and suffering and I'm not sure I want the pain and suffering to go away because I don't want to get comfortable and quit growing spiritually.  I also know that God has to lead us out of the pain at times so we don't buckle under the weight.  Sometimes that happens quickly, sometimes it takes awhile.


God, keep me strong and courageous to take on tough times.  Prepare me to handle floods, to wait, to stand up to opposition who wants to kill my spirit, to kill my desire and to kill my will to follow you, to fight injustice, to battle in times of trial and yet to love, to give, to share, to pray and to be compassionate.


God answers prayers.


Grace and peace to you.

More (or Less) Perfection

I love my friends who make me think.


My post on being perfect last week brought a few comments outside the blogosphere that challenged me to think and re-think my stance and my writing.  I have perfected neither but have more to say.


I want to be perfect because I want to know the mind of Christ and the will of God.  I will not excuse imperfection in my actions but it is perfection in our hearts that God truly desires.  A dear friend laid the following quote in my lap and I love it.  St Augustine said, "Love, and do as you will".  Now, just imagine what we would do if everything we did was based solely in love.  The perfection of our actions would take care of themselves because our heart and mind would be aligned with God.  If everything I do, I do in love I am compelled to believe that I would treat people more like Jesus did with the woman at the well and less like someone trying to massage my own ego,  wondering what's wrong with someone else while my own heart is in turmoil.  If everything I do, I do in love I am compelled to believe that my thoughts and actions would be more Christ-like and less Jeff-like, more from the mind of Christ than the ego of Jeff, more nurturing instead of concern for how I feel.



The perfection I want to achieve, the perfection I believe God calls us to in Matthew 5 has little do to with the things we do and everything to do with our heart for God.  My life would be lived out doing what Jesus did - loving, caring, encouraging, sharing fellowship, sharing compassion, giving, feeding, nurturing and leading others to the knowledge of God and His perfect love.  So don't tell me I can't be perfect.  Encourage me to grow closer to God.  Don't tell me God knows we are going to fail.  Walk with me in the footsteps of Christ.  Don't talk to me about why someone is the way they are.  Talk to me about how I can love more perfectly and forgive completely and show them the grace and mercy God has shown me. 

Grace and peace to you.

Perfect

I expected silence yesterday.  Be perfect.


I covered that verse with some 9th grade guys Wednesday night and one started to ask "were supposed to be...?"  He, and most of the others, hadn't considered that we are supposed to be perfect.  I asked "what does it mean?" and started getting "but God knows we aren't perfect", "God sent Jesus because He knew we'd mess up" and "we can't be perfect."  I loved the last one.  We can't?  My response was simply "why?" which was only met with silence.


We are called to perfection.  Not simply doing our best.  Not just trying to be as good or better than the best person we know.  Perfection.  So, why is it so easy for some to say "don't beat yourself up" or "you can't be perfect" when we mess up?  I'm called to perfection so pointing out my failings and learning from my mistakes should be only a natural progression to striving for perfection, shouldn't it?


Why do baseball players take hundreds of practice swings a day?  Why do golfers hit hundreds of golf balls a day?  Why do musicians practice their instrument hours and hours each week?  Why does anyone who wants to be the best in the endeavor work on being the best?  The best strive for perfection.  I don't know an accomplished baseball player who ever said they wanted to hit 3 out of 10.  They did everything they could to hit 10 out of 10.  I've never heard a professional golfer say they wanted to hit most of the fairways or make most of their putts.  I've never heard of a musician saying they hope to play at least 90% of their notes correctly.  They all want perfection.  And, sometimes they achieve it.  Plenty of baseball players have hit 4 for 4 in a game.  Plenty of golfers have shot below par.  Plenty of musicians have played perfectly in a concert.  They did it because that is what they shot for.  Not to simply do their best but to achieve perfection.


I have to ask, will I simply try not to make too many mistakes today or will I try to achieve perfection today?


Grace and peace to you.