As I have gotten older, I've never really felt my age. I know how many years I have been around but still think I'm 10 years younger. However, I have noticed more things recently that remind me I'm not getting younger. Knees that ache at night after exercise, a torn calf muscle, a constant pull of things to be done and looking at the university publication where my class is creeping closer to the front and there are 20 years of graduates behind me. Yikes.
Something greater than all those, for me, is the mental pull to figure out what God has in store for me. I look back on the past 40+ years and see peaks and valleys, successes and failures, rights and wrongs and I wonder what my path is to come. I wonder how God will use me, what things from my past He will use as I go through the future, what tests are yet to come my way, how will I affect the people I come in contact with. Twenty years ago I was certainly thinking more about my career, a family to come and getting the "things" I/we would want. Today, I am much more focused on how God is using me and going to use me. Much of me wants to see the script, to know ahead of time what is to come but I know that is not possible. Instead, I approach the future with a mixture of fear and wonder.
I don't know how many years I have left on earth or what is to come but I do know this; my prayer is that whatever comes my way, I serve God and His desires above my own.
1 comment:
Wonderful thoughts!
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