Get Outta Here...

Do you know Kylie Bisutti?  She's been a Victoria's Secret runway model and I must admit she can conjure up some thoughts strutting around in her lingerie.  I'm a Kylie fan but probably not for the reason you would first think.  I didn't say she "is" a VS model, I said she's "been" a VS model - past tense.  She gave up the gig she had dreamed of because she's been reading the Bible and was convicted she needs to save her body for her husband (I imagine there are Christian single men sending her their information right now) that she hopes to have one day.  

Restoration.  Renewal.  Kylie is finding it through her study of God's word.  It's amazing what the Spirit will do within us when we get into God's word.  We can read Lucado and Yancey and Chan, we can listen to Andy Stanley, John Piper or Joel Osteen (I'm throwing that one in for a good buddy of mine) but none of those can do what actually reading the Bible and letting the Spirit work on heart and mind can do to us.  

I'm a Kylie Bisutti fan and hope she will maintain her desire to serve God and openly share her faith.  It's something I can learn from.

Grace and peace.

More R & R

First, let me say that I have written two good blogs that come up as gobbley-goop and it's making me want to get the baseball bat out.  One of them was what I thought to be the best post I'd ever written and how I wish I could remember how I said what I said.  Oh well...back to mediocrity...

I'm stealing a tweet from Josh Ross to use as the basis of my post.  "Words like restore, redeem, reconcile and renew indicate a prior condition that was good.  We were created in God's image."

I'm using that in a lesson I'm teaching in June because the idea of being created in God's image has been something I have learned to grow on over the past few years.  I bring Genesis 1:27 up in many, many conversations with people because they, like me, have this feeling we can not do enough, be good enough, not whatever enough and I never thought of myself as being made in God's image.  

I have heard so many conversations about self-esteem, self-image, self, self, self that I think I became conditioned to always look at myself the way others saw me.  Now, I just want to point others to God when my appearance (in whatever fashion) comes into the conversation.  When I'm living right and doing things to help people, I want to point to God and give him glory as my Creator.  When I'm living wrong and doing things that hurt my relationship with God, I want to point to God and give him the the glory as my Redeemer and Savior.  I don't want people to see Jeff, to see my image, to see my self-esteem, to see my brilliance and greatness (quit laughing at that last part), I want them see a reflection of God and nothing more.

Grace and peace to you.

R & R

Peacemaking includes many facets.  A couple of those are restoration and reconciliation (R&R) and it's something that, without God's grace, most of us would not know.  Without R&R, there's no peace.  

I have only found peace learning to live in contentment with whatever my situation is but without restoration and reconciliation, peace is only partial at best.  I have lived for years without peace in my life because of conflict with God, conflict with people I have loved and conflict within me.  I trust that God has forgiven me and I am finally learning to live at peace with him.  I'm not there yet and that's because I still have trouble forgiving myself and without being able to fully reach reconciliation with myself, it's still difficult to have full peace with God when I'm not at complete peace with myself.  Finally, there are people close to me that I have been restored and reconciled to and live at total peace with them and others that it is still in process and there is no peace yet.  

This is something that Josh Hamilton is dealing with right now.  He's a public example of what I often deal with - battling demons that call me to do things I shouldn't do.  I'm guessing Hamilton's failing jeopardizes his family relationship and certainly jeopardizes his work relationship (very secondary in this situation but more public).  His openness and honest way of addressing the problem has certainly made R&R appear more realistic in all his relationships and I hope it works out that he will be able to again know peace because of the grace of those around him.

I want to know peace.  I want to help others find peace.  It can happen but there has to be restoration and reconciliation to make it so.  That takes admitting fault and seeking forgiveness.  It also requires forgiveness and grace by others with God as the model for what true forgiveness looks like.  I hope I will be forgiven and I hope I will forgive liberally as God has forgiven me.  It doesn't mean there will never be consequences to actions, it doesn't mean that my way (or another person's way) is always the right answer but peace can be found in all situations with people who put R&R above themselves.

Grace and peace to you.

Peacemakers

I want to be a peacemaker.  

I have lived much of my life in conflict.  Conflict with God and his desire for me, conflict within myself and who I wanted to be and conflict with others who were/are close to me.  It's hard to live in conflict as long as I did and even made harder by my inability to deal with conflict.  

When I started the program I'm working through now learning to be a peacemaker, I had to take a test to determine my conflict style.  The choices are: collaboration (win-win), accommodation (you win-I lose), compromise (lose-lose), competition (I win-you lose) and avoidance (nothing to win or lose).  I rated highest in avoidance and second highest in accommodation.  If I couldn't avoid it at all costs, I would rather give in and let someone else get their way.  I have bad conflict resolution skills and it's something I want to change for myself and certainly to help other people.  

I often wish I had known better a long time ago.  I think I would have been a better person, a better father, a better husband, a better employee, a better friend.  It's hard sometimes wishing I could rewrite history but that isn't going to happen so I press on, looking to the future, working to overcome my weaknesses and shortcomings, hoping the Lord will use me to bring peace to others so that conflict doesn't tear them down, rip them apart and throw them aside.  

Blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called children of God. - Matthew 5:9

Lord, make me a peacemaker and use me in your kingdom so that others will know the peace that only comes from you.

Grace and peace to you.

Able

One of my lifelong struggles is thinking I could handle things on my own.  I found out the hard way I couldn't but the idea still tries to creep back into my head every now and then.  This is another song that I have loved listening to that helps me remember I need God in my life and in my decisions.

Grace and peace to you.

The Motions

Matthew West sings a song, The Motions that helped me during tough times of life (as documented in older posts here and here).  It's a song I've gone back to lately as it helps spur me out of my doldrums.  Enjoy it and then read on...

I've started a new book, not a fan by Kyle Idelman.  I'm just a few chapters in and I already know it is one I will be recommending, if not buying, for my friends.  It's challenging and it is calling me back to my desire to go through life as a follower of Jesus, not just a fan.  I want to be a true disciple regardless of the costs - the lost relationships, the questions and criticisms of people who don't understand (or don't want to understand), the denial of things I would enjoy but that will use my time and resources that could be better used for the kingdom.  

Lord make me a servant, Lord make me like you.  It's easy to sing, harder to live.  I pray I will be strong enough to live the hard life, the best life.

Grace and peace to you.

The Harding Experience

I spent the past weekend at Harding University and had a fabulous experience.  I love being around young people and this was a few days filled with young people - seeing their lives and hearing the dreams and passions.  On Thursday, I sat in on interviews for a summer youth intern at our church and was uplifted by hearing these kids desire to serve God and work with other young people.  What blew me away was their willingness to share some of their own struggles and how they were working through them.  It was encouraging to experience their transparency and their mission for living more righteous and holy lives.  Friday and Saturday were spent in discussions on plans for teachers (I'll be one) for UPLIFT 2012.  That consisted of several hours with youth ministers and youth ministry volunteers and, again, it was encouraging to hear their heart for reaching young people with the good news.  

I've got a child going to Harding next year and I'm so pleased that is the school of choice.  There is good and bad in every place but the students I met encourage me about what the future holds.  

Grace and peace to you.

Rehab

I've been blessed with a group of guys who are very close to me, who have journeyed with me through my darkest days and have celebrated new life with me.  Oddly, all of us seem to be in a lull of late, a season where we all feel like we are going through the motions of life.  I'm not sure what it means but I've wondered why so many of us are in the same place right now.

Lecrae sings a song about going to rehab, talking to God about how he just got better, got clean and started living the way he should when he slipped back into old habits and bad choices and needs to come to rehab again.  The song really speaks to me right now.

I'm back in Proverbs to break the doldrums.  Where better to go than to wisdom?  I love reading these scriptures and thinking about how they apply to me but also am struck how people tend to apply them to our physical life more than our spiritual life.  Oh, there is plenty of wisdom for daily life but as I read it I believe that wisdom has more to do with my heart than earthly tangibles.  

This is a season (brief, I hope) where I need to guard my heart.  I am praying that God will make his presence overwhelm me during this time.

Grace and peace to you.

Song Power

There are some songs that speak deep into my heart, that stir my soul, that elicit emotions to come bubbling up.  I was driving home one night recently when I heard the song "Garden" by my new favorite band, NEEDTOBREATHE and as I listened the first time through tears were streaming down my face.  The second time through, more tears.  The third time through, I was flat out crying.  The fourth, fifth, sixth and ninth times I heard it, I was worshipping a loving God and his sacrificial son.  I've listened to it a number of times since then and it still feels fresh, still tugs on my heart and speaks deeply into my soul.  

Grace and peace to you.

A Borrowed Message

I'm posting an email I received from John Eldredge that is taken from his book, The Sacred Romance, because it speaks to me of where I've been, where I find myself now and where I need to be on-guard for in the future.  It's so easy to lose heart for what is important by getting wrapped up in the minor events of today.  It's easy to exert a great deal of time and energy into house-hunting, car-shopping, running here and there, school and lose focus of where I really want to be going and where and I really want (and need) my energy to be focused so that I am feel truly fulfilled in this life.  Lord, pull me close and help me open my eyes to the things can fill my heart...and my mind...and my soul.

A Loss of Heart

It was to the most religious people of his time that Jesus spoke his strongest warnings about a loss of heart.

It is tragic for any person to lose touch with the life of their heart but especially so for those of us who once heard the call in our heart and recognized it as the voice of Jesus of Nazareth. We may remember him inviting us to a life of beauty, intimacy, and adventure that we thought was lost. For others of us, when he called, it felt for the first time in our lives as if our heart had finally found a home. We responded in faith, in hope, and in love and began the journey we call the Christian life. Each day seemed a new adventure as we rediscovered the world with God by our side.

But for many of us, the waves of first love ebbed away in the whirlwind of Christian service and activity, and we began to lose the Romance. Our faith began to feel more like a series of problems that needed to be solved or principles that had to be mastered before we could finally enter into the abundant life promised us by Christ. We moved our spiritual life into the outer world of activity, and internally we drifted. We sensed that something was wrong, and we perhaps tried to fix it-by tinkering with our outer life. We tried the latest spiritual fad, or a new church, or simply redoubled our commitment to make faith work. Still, we found ourselves weary, jaded, or simply bored. Others of us immersed ourselves in busyness without really asking where all the activity was headed. At one point in my own spiritual pilgrimage, I stopped to ask myself this question: "What is it that I am supposed to be doing to live the spiritual life in any way that is both truthful and passionately alive?"

Grace and peace to you.

Peace 3

And the LORD spoke to Moses, saying: ²³ “Speak to Aaron and his sons, saying, ‘This is the way you shall bless the children of Israel. Say to them:

“The LORD bless you and keep you;

 The LORD make His face shine upon you,
      And be gracious to you;

 The LORD lift up His countenance upon you,
      And give you peace.”’
“So they shall put My name on the children of Israel, and I will bless them.”

Numbers 6:22-27 (NKJV)

From these verses comes the "other" ACU school song, one sung after so many events and a song that always reminds me of an ACU event.  It's a song we talked about in the closing ceremony of my Residency Session week at ACU last week.  The idea of the Lord's face shining upon us and giving us peace.  I look forward to that day when I see the Lord's face shining upon me, me in his presence, and I imagine the peace I will feel at that moment.  

In the meantime, I want to seek out ways to find that peace in the here and now and to help others who are in the storms of life find that peace.  

Grace and peace to you.

The Cowboys Sweatshop

ESPN came out with a news story and Channel 8's Dale Hansen jumped on the bandwagon about the Dallas Cowboys' using a soft goods manufacturing facility in Cambodia that runs a sweatshop.  What a load of manure these news outlets and reporters are trying to dump on their viewers.  

Do not misunderstand what I'm saying.  I do not dispute the fact that all people should be able to work in good conditions and make a fair wage.  I do not dispute that and hope everywhere there are less than suitable working conditions, changes will be made.

Here's a suggestion of where to start.  Dale, you and ESPN need to quit reporting anything about the Cowboys until they make changes in who they use for manufacturing their product.  Can you imagine how interest in the Cowboys and their merchandise would drop if the biggest news channel in the Cowboys' market and the biggest news channel in all the sporting world just quit talking about the Cowboys?  

I'm sure the argument is that they are just reporting the truth.  Well, do more!  You asked the Cowboys' representative what he was going to do.  Tell me what you are going to do Dale.  Channel 8.  ESPN.  Why not lead instead of throwing up your "reporter" excuse.  Why don't you show us what courage is?

I'm already doing my part.  I don't own nor do I plan to own any Dallas Cowboys' merchandise.  Hopefully, none of my other clothes are made in sweatshops but I honestly don't know.  In the meantime, I support those who are trying to make changes and I would chastise those who just talk about it and don't do anything to make a difference.

Grace and peace to you.

Peace and More Peace

When the way you live pleases the Lord, 
      he makes even your enemies live at peace with you.

Proverbs 16:7 (NIRV)

I just spent a week at Abilene Christian University learning to be a peacemaker.  It is something I desire, something I hope to become and be in every part of my life.  Learning to live through my own pain, I have come to find so many people are hurting and think they are not worthy of love.  I am coming to know that God runs to all of his lost children, arms wide open, ready to embrace them for who they are - his children.  

I want to live a life that pleases the Lord.  Oh, how I struggle at doing it regularly.  I want to walk close to him but my mind wanders and my heart is pulled along with it too often.  Still, I desire to walk closer to God and in a way that pleases him so that even my enemies will live at peace with me, a child of his only wanting to be a peacemaker.

Grace and peace to you.

Peace

Peace.  

It's such a calming word to me.

Peace.

I have learned it's something I can have even in the middle of the biggest storms.

Peace.

It's something I want to be able to help people find and embrace in the middle of their biggest storms.

Peace.  

Proverbs 16:7 - When a man's ways are pleasing to the LORD, he makes even his enemies live at peace with him.

May I walk in the ways of my Lord so that all I touch will know peace.

Grace and peace to you.

Up Too Late

Roll Tide.  I became a closet 'Bama fan when Gene Stallings coached the team.  When Nick Saban showed up I became a fan of some other team but I have trouble cheering for LSU.  Those people are crazy but the team is really, really good.  Until Monday night.  I talked to a guy who refereed the first game between the two and said Alabama would win a rematch.  So it was.  Truthfully, I can't get too excited about any SEC team winning because I have to listen to all the SEC talk.  Maybe I'll become a Vanderbilt fan in the end.  Good job Alabama.  Congratulations.

I'm in Abilene, Texas, up too late, waiting on the snow to come.  I'm spending a week here in a Residency session for my Masters program.  Today was intense and tomorrow and the following days are supposed to be more in-depth.  There are lots of role playing opportunities which I hate but can muddle through.  I still love the program, love what I'm learning and excited about what the future might hold when I've completed this program.

John 16:33 tells me there will be plenty of opportunities for conflict resolution.  My life is proof.  It simply makes me ask God to help me through this day and to send his son with haste.  Until then, use me Lord.

Grace and peace to you.

How Great Is Our God

A good friend passed Louis Giglio's mashup of stars and whales and it gave me chills.  I taught a lesson in our youth group Wednesday using the video to discuss the unlimited, unfathomable, unimaginable power of God and his majesty.  I hope you enjoy.

Grace and peace to you.

A Valuable Resource

Time is so limited.  It's no secret.  It's nothing profound I just figured out. 

I love to write.  This blog has been an ongoing salve for me, something I used to express emotions, share pain, give attention to joy and keep some semblance of balance in my head.  However, so many things have come into my life that have begin using the resource of time that I have and my writing has suffered...and to some degree my connection I have with God when I write. 

I don't do resolutions but I need to find a way to balance my time better, to include the things in my life that are important for me to stay focused on God and more balanced between peace and chaos (chaos being what I call the normal times of life because it's fun for me to say and will drive some people crazy that I say it which is really my real purpose in life...) and to make the changes I need to make to treat time as the valuable resource that it is. 

Knowing that my biggest challenge to overcome is myself, it will be a battle at times but one I need to learn to fight.  Maybe I will learn some new conflict resolutions skills that will resolve the my own inner-conflict - now that would be valuable and worth every penny (at $787/hour) I'm paying to educate myself.  (Note to young children reading this blog - it is much cheaper to prove you are smart enough to do well in college while your parents are helping pay for it than it is when you have to pay for it on your own.  Just sayin'.)

God, give me vision and wisdom as I walk this road so that I will more clearly see you and choose the path that allows me to maximize all that you provide me.

Grace and peace to you.

Cosmic Christmas

Yes, Christmas is over but I just read this post and thought I would share as we prepare for another Christmas in just a few weeks (well, that's how it will feel by the time I get to December).

Dan Bouchelle's Cosmic Christmas Blog

Grace and peace to you.

New Year, Same Old Cowboys

I'm fundamentally against the New York Giants winning a game but I get a strange satisfaction from seeing the Cowboys lose.  I don't know how many stories about Tony Romo's hand it takes for anyone else to get sick of the Cowboys but it took no more than 2 for me.  

Go Saints!

Moving on...

I can't help but wonder what the new year has in store for me.  I seem to be a person gifted with seeing the suffering in life much more clearly than what most people consider "the good stuff" and while I sometimes wish it wasn't the case, I think seeing suffering so easily allows me to be compassionate to people who are hurting.  I can't help but think, based on the past few weeks, that 2012 won't be more of the same.  

Or maybe not.

Either way, my only resolution is to get back on track to knowing God better, to love the Lord my God with all my heart, mind, soul and strength and to love my neighbor, yes even the neighbors who make life hard, too.  If I can manage this resolution, even if only better tomorrow than today, 2012 will be a good year.

Grace and peace to you.

I Just Said The Weirdest Prayer

I just prayed for a bunch of people I don't know who post on ESPN's website.  How weird is that?

A good friend sent me an email the other day about a letter Shannon Stone's mother had written to Josh Hamilton encouraging him to continue tossing foul balls to fans in the stands.  (Story)  I saw it again on ESPN today and re-read and then started reading some of the responses and just started getting mad.  People writing rude things about how the mother's name is spelled, about the son, about faith, etc.  I realized I was having the response that evil would want me to have so I stopped and prayed for all the posters who wrote something rude, prayed that somehow their hearts would be touched by grace and mercy and love. 

It's weird praying for strangers who are mean but I already feel better having chosen prayer over anger.  I might try it again one day.

Grace and peace to you.