I have lived much of my life in conflict. Conflict with God and his desire for me, conflict within myself and who I wanted to be and conflict with others who were/are close to me. It's hard to live in conflict as long as I did and even made harder by my inability to deal with conflict.
When I started the program I'm working through now learning to be a peacemaker, I had to take a test to determine my conflict style. The choices are: collaboration (win-win), accommodation (you win-I lose), compromise (lose-lose), competition (I win-you lose) and avoidance (nothing to win or lose). I rated highest in avoidance and second highest in accommodation. If I couldn't avoid it at all costs, I would rather give in and let someone else get their way. I have bad conflict resolution skills and it's something I want to change for myself and certainly to help other people.
I often wish I had known better a long time ago. I think I would have been a better person, a better father, a better husband, a better employee, a better friend. It's hard sometimes wishing I could rewrite history but that isn't going to happen so I press on, looking to the future, working to overcome my weaknesses and shortcomings, hoping the Lord will use me to bring peace to others so that conflict doesn't tear them down, rip them apart and throw them aside.
Blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called children of God. - Matthew 5:9
Lord, make me a peacemaker and use me in your kingdom so that others will know the peace that only comes from you.
Grace and peace to you.
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