Auburn won the National Championship with a QB who is accused of being the best that money can buy and a defensive lineman known for taking cheap shots at other players during the game and I was still rooting for them. There may be need for some introspection. :)
Someone asked me yesterday what I thought about all the Muslim activity going on in the U.S. I'm clueless.
I suppose I should be more concerned but I have some odd beliefs and worrying about the Muslims isn't going to help anything. I think there is some pain and turmoil coming our way and I think our society has been too complacent for far too long to turn the tide. That's all I'll say for now because the rest of the story gets really bizarre.
If you think that is bizarre, you should spend a day in my head. The things that pass through there...
It would be great if love ruled the world.
I have started counting the number of times each day I or someone else makes a judgment on another party without knowing any facts (I suppose I could be accused of judging others who are making judgment calls on someone else but it is not my intention. Merely a learning tool for me about how bad I am about doing it). It's astonishing. I'm trying hard to quit labeling people and quit applying my (ignorant) conceptions of them and their actions and just love them for who they are. I hope it gets easier over time.
Let's end on a happy note. Pitchers and catchers report to Surprise in about a month! Go Rangers!
Grace and peace to you.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Wednesday Warblings
Another day, another borrowed blog. I've posted some things from Michael Hyatt in the past (www.michaelhyatt.com). He's one of my favored bloggers and someone I continue to get good ideas and challenges from. This blog just cracked me up and I hope you enjoy it.
10 Things You Can't Say At Work
Grace and peace to you.
10 Things You Can't Say At Work
Grace and peace to you.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Tuesday Tidbits
I think I'll keep the goofy titles. Wednesday Warblings. Thursday Thoughts. Goofy.
I'm borrowing a blog post today. This is from Rick Ross and was something I saw on TV last week. I was really impressed when Ted rolls off Proverbs 3:5-6 in front of Robin and George on GMA and said it with what seems to be complete conviction and sincerity.
2nd Chances
Grace and peace to you.
I'm borrowing a blog post today. This is from Rick Ross and was something I saw on TV last week. I was really impressed when Ted rolls off Proverbs 3:5-6 in front of Robin and George on GMA and said it with what seems to be complete conviction and sincerity.
2nd Chances
Grace and peace to you.
Monday, January 10, 2011
Monday Mumblings
I think I'm going low-key this week..
A shout-out to my buddy Jason. Go Auburn!
A lady was arrested in Wise County for soliciting of murder. She was wanting a couple of people killed so she could collect insurance, I believe. When arrested, she was wearing a Mickey Mouse sweatshirt.
I wish I would have never opened a Facebook account.
Ignorance really can be bliss.
I think it's ridiculous that the college football championship is being played on January 10th. It means the NCAA is a) money hungry and b) liars. Yes, that's harsh but it seems evident they are doing it so more people can watch more bowl games so they can get more commercial revenue. The NCAA says one reason for no playoffs is that they don't want to keep kids out of school. The Oregon team has been out of school all of last week. I think Auburn was a day behind them. Same for the last few straggling bowls.
I love March Madness. LOVE it.
That is all my thoughts that are fit to print. Stay warm.
Grace and peace to you.
A shout-out to my buddy Jason. Go Auburn!
A lady was arrested in Wise County for soliciting of murder. She was wanting a couple of people killed so she could collect insurance, I believe. When arrested, she was wearing a Mickey Mouse sweatshirt.
I wish I would have never opened a Facebook account.
Ignorance really can be bliss.
I think it's ridiculous that the college football championship is being played on January 10th. It means the NCAA is a) money hungry and b) liars. Yes, that's harsh but it seems evident they are doing it so more people can watch more bowl games so they can get more commercial revenue. The NCAA says one reason for no playoffs is that they don't want to keep kids out of school. The Oregon team has been out of school all of last week. I think Auburn was a day behind them. Same for the last few straggling bowls.
I love March Madness. LOVE it.
That is all my thoughts that are fit to print. Stay warm.
Grace and peace to you.
Thursday, January 06, 2011
I'm Getting Grumpy
My problem with exercising late is that I have trouble sleeping.
Add problems with Blogger and I'm getting grumpy. So, I'm trying this new app and writing a short post in case it doesn't work.
I learned some things about Adrian Beltre I'm not sure I needed to know today.
Michael Young continues to impress me. He is a selfless ballplayer.
How do you label people? How do you make and justify putting a label on someone you barely know? How would you explain to God your decision to talk negatively about someone you really don't know? How do you explain to God that you feel qualified to call someone when you have no clue what issues they are carrying and having trouble dealing with? What would you do after calling someone worthless only to find out that they are up late every night caring for an ill parent? These are questions I and others had to confront in a Bible study at work yesterday. I think I need to be very careful about what I say. How about you?
We are all God's children. It might be good to treat and speak of people that way.
Grace and peace to you.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Add problems with Blogger and I'm getting grumpy. So, I'm trying this new app and writing a short post in case it doesn't work.
I learned some things about Adrian Beltre I'm not sure I needed to know today.
Michael Young continues to impress me. He is a selfless ballplayer.
How do you label people? How do you make and justify putting a label on someone you barely know? How would you explain to God your decision to talk negatively about someone you really don't know? How do you explain to God that you feel qualified to call someone when you have no clue what issues they are carrying and having trouble dealing with? What would you do after calling someone worthless only to find out that they are up late every night caring for an ill parent? These are questions I and others had to confront in a Bible study at work yesterday. I think I need to be very careful about what I say. How about you?
We are all God's children. It might be good to treat and speak of people that way.
Grace and peace to you.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Wednesday, January 05, 2011
Obsession
I'm teaching class tonight as we continue working through Crazy Love. I think I was asked to teach the chapter on being obsessed with Jesus because it's one that I need to work on so much. I don't know that I'm obsessed with anything but when I think about what I might be obsessed by "Mercedes" pops into my head. I've always wanted one and now the Mercedes G500 is on my list of things I really, really want. I have no need for it. I don't have the money it takes to acquire one. I just want one.
Frances Chan, in the study video for Crazy Love, talks about how it makes sense to him that the early Christians were obsessed with Jesus. They had been around him and listened to him, then they saw him die followed by seeing the empty tomb and the resurrected Christ among them. They were living in the middle of it so the fact that they gathered together, sold their possessions and took care of each others needs doesn't seem far-fetched. He goes on (and this is the part I like) and says it would be much harder for him to believe they were obsessed with the Christ if they had said, "hey, let's have services once a week and sing some songs and listen to a sermon and then go our own way the rest of the week." Cracks me up...and it doesn't change his comment for me very much if you throw in Sunday night and Wednesday night.
I've been satisfied for far too long with making an appearance at the church building and going on my way saying I was a follower of Christ. I want to be more obsessed with the things Jesus was obsessed with. Sure, he spent time teaching but his time was much more about helping others with their spiritual AND physical needs. The church I've attended all my life touts our "pattern theology" and, maybe it's just me, but I don't feel I have been a part of the group that follows the pattern of the church in Acts 2:42. I'm more accustomed to thinking about what I have, not what I am giving away to someone who needs it. I'm more accustomed to worrying about tax rates and savings accounts and the size of my 401k than being willing to give all I have and trust God will provide all I need. I want to look more like that church in 2:42. I want people to identify me with that body.
I don't want to be misunderstood (though I can imagine it easy when dealing with my crazy mind) so I want to be clear that what I'm talking about is a heart that is willing to give everything to God. Does that mean that could include physical possessions? Yes, definitely. Does that mean I earn any standing with God because I did something? NO! I don't want anyone to think I'm saying I have to do some physical act to get in God's good graces. I lived that theology for far too long. I'm talking about a heart and mind that is obsessed for God and, I believe, if I have that the physical acts will follow from a desire to be a servant to others.
Chan talks in the video about how the 2:42 church shared all their stuff - their houses, their money, their cars. It makes me think. I don't care if anyone borrows my 2002 truck. It's got 150,000 miles on it, plenty of scratches and I'm not worried about it. But, park a Mercedes G500 in the driveway and I'm not sure I'm as willing to let you take it as the old truck. At that point, what am I really obsessed with?
I want to be obsessed with living the life God wants me to live. Maybe that includes a car that doesn't seem reasonable for me, more likely it doesn't. Either way, I want to give, to share, to feed the hungry, clothe the naked, give the thirsty something to drink...to be more like Christ.
Grace and peace to you.
Frances Chan, in the study video for Crazy Love, talks about how it makes sense to him that the early Christians were obsessed with Jesus. They had been around him and listened to him, then they saw him die followed by seeing the empty tomb and the resurrected Christ among them. They were living in the middle of it so the fact that they gathered together, sold their possessions and took care of each others needs doesn't seem far-fetched. He goes on (and this is the part I like) and says it would be much harder for him to believe they were obsessed with the Christ if they had said, "hey, let's have services once a week and sing some songs and listen to a sermon and then go our own way the rest of the week." Cracks me up...and it doesn't change his comment for me very much if you throw in Sunday night and Wednesday night.
I've been satisfied for far too long with making an appearance at the church building and going on my way saying I was a follower of Christ. I want to be more obsessed with the things Jesus was obsessed with. Sure, he spent time teaching but his time was much more about helping others with their spiritual AND physical needs. The church I've attended all my life touts our "pattern theology" and, maybe it's just me, but I don't feel I have been a part of the group that follows the pattern of the church in Acts 2:42. I'm more accustomed to thinking about what I have, not what I am giving away to someone who needs it. I'm more accustomed to worrying about tax rates and savings accounts and the size of my 401k than being willing to give all I have and trust God will provide all I need. I want to look more like that church in 2:42. I want people to identify me with that body.
I don't want to be misunderstood (though I can imagine it easy when dealing with my crazy mind) so I want to be clear that what I'm talking about is a heart that is willing to give everything to God. Does that mean that could include physical possessions? Yes, definitely. Does that mean I earn any standing with God because I did something? NO! I don't want anyone to think I'm saying I have to do some physical act to get in God's good graces. I lived that theology for far too long. I'm talking about a heart and mind that is obsessed for God and, I believe, if I have that the physical acts will follow from a desire to be a servant to others.
Chan talks in the video about how the 2:42 church shared all their stuff - their houses, their money, their cars. It makes me think. I don't care if anyone borrows my 2002 truck. It's got 150,000 miles on it, plenty of scratches and I'm not worried about it. But, park a Mercedes G500 in the driveway and I'm not sure I'm as willing to let you take it as the old truck. At that point, what am I really obsessed with?
I want to be obsessed with living the life God wants me to live. Maybe that includes a car that doesn't seem reasonable for me, more likely it doesn't. Either way, I want to give, to share, to feed the hungry, clothe the naked, give the thirsty something to drink...to be more like Christ.
Grace and peace to you.
Tuesday, January 04, 2011
Borrowed Material About An Easier Life
This is borrowed from Michael Hyatt's blog (http://michaelhyatt.com).
"Do not pray for easy lives. Pray to be stronger men. Do not pray for tasks equal to your powers. Pray for powers equal to your tasks. Then the doing of your work shall be no miracle, but you shall be the miracle." - Phillip Brooks, U.S. Episcopal Bishop (1835-1893)
I have long prayed that my life would fit into my neat, comfortable idea of what it should be. This is a good reminder that my prayer should fit into the image of what God wants to do with it. What can I be if I just let Him work in me?
Grace and peace to you.
"Do not pray for easy lives. Pray to be stronger men. Do not pray for tasks equal to your powers. Pray for powers equal to your tasks. Then the doing of your work shall be no miracle, but you shall be the miracle." - Phillip Brooks, U.S. Episcopal Bishop (1835-1893)
I have long prayed that my life would fit into my neat, comfortable idea of what it should be. This is a good reminder that my prayer should fit into the image of what God wants to do with it. What can I be if I just let Him work in me?
Grace and peace to you.
Monday, January 03, 2011
Merry New Year!
If you like "Trading Places" as much as I do, you'll know the reference to the title for my post today.
It's 2011, the second year the Rangers will make it to the World Series and the first time they win.
I've never been great at making predictions. I hope 2011 changes for me.
On December 1st, I wrote that my plan was to shut this blog down at the end of the month. Well, here it is January 3rd and another post is up. Go figure. I started the blog to chronicle a journey I have been traveling and when I started, no one knew all that was going on within me and around me. Today, more people know my story, know me and my failings, know the tragedy and heartache and have a better idea from where the words have sprung. I started this blog as my journal, only for me. I guess I realized other people might find it but I never have written for other people. It's not about what others should be doing to bring themselves into a closer walk with God, it's all from me and for me. When I re-read postings, they are words to myself and no one else...at least in my mind. Yet, since I wrote those words on December 1st, I have been shocked (there is no other word) by the responses I have received about my blog, about the words written for me that helped someone else, about the pain, about the joy, about the suffering, about the healing that has been a part of my journey that also resonates with others. To those who suggested I keep writing, you bless me. You remind me of what God wants me to be reminded of; relationships and community. You remind me that we are all more similar than different, that we all struggle and fall and that for those willing to admit the truth, we are there to help pick each other up, brush each other off and love each other without condition. God reminds me of things He wants me to know through you.
So, here I go. My blog posts won't change in that they will still be written to me, to my lows and to my highs, about the valleys I walk through and the mountain tops I am astounded by. It's by me and for me, as always, but I also hope that God will continue to use it for anyone else who might benefit from it.
Grace and peace to you.
It's 2011, the second year the Rangers will make it to the World Series and the first time they win.
I've never been great at making predictions. I hope 2011 changes for me.
On December 1st, I wrote that my plan was to shut this blog down at the end of the month. Well, here it is January 3rd and another post is up. Go figure. I started the blog to chronicle a journey I have been traveling and when I started, no one knew all that was going on within me and around me. Today, more people know my story, know me and my failings, know the tragedy and heartache and have a better idea from where the words have sprung. I started this blog as my journal, only for me. I guess I realized other people might find it but I never have written for other people. It's not about what others should be doing to bring themselves into a closer walk with God, it's all from me and for me. When I re-read postings, they are words to myself and no one else...at least in my mind. Yet, since I wrote those words on December 1st, I have been shocked (there is no other word) by the responses I have received about my blog, about the words written for me that helped someone else, about the pain, about the joy, about the suffering, about the healing that has been a part of my journey that also resonates with others. To those who suggested I keep writing, you bless me. You remind me of what God wants me to be reminded of; relationships and community. You remind me that we are all more similar than different, that we all struggle and fall and that for those willing to admit the truth, we are there to help pick each other up, brush each other off and love each other without condition. God reminds me of things He wants me to know through you.
So, here I go. My blog posts won't change in that they will still be written to me, to my lows and to my highs, about the valleys I walk through and the mountain tops I am astounded by. It's by me and for me, as always, but I also hope that God will continue to use it for anyone else who might benefit from it.
Grace and peace to you.
Friday, December 31, 2010
The Valley of The Unknown
Happy birthday to me! Nope, it's not today but I've got a great bunch of friends who have supported by effort to raise $500 for Charity:Water during this birthday month. Not only did they help me reach my goal - they doubled it! $1,004 is going to Charity:Water to dig water wells and provide clean drinking water for people who are literally dying for it. I'm pumped and can't thank those who participated enough.
In a few hours we will send out 2010 and step into 2011. For some of us, 2010 won't be missed but, unfortunately, we cannot run away from the hurts and pains this year brought our way. Not only that, we are going into the unknown. Who knows what 2011 will be? Are we usually hopeful for a better year? Yes, of course. Then again, I was hopeful for 2010 to be a great year...and it wasn't.
Here are my 2011 resolutions:
1. Write better. I go back and re-read some of my blogs and crack up where I can tell I combined two thoughts into one sentence without taking grammar into consideration. We'll see how it goes.
2. To make no more resolutions. I'm not sure I can resolve to not resolve but I'm done making plans, goals and resolutions in a life I have little, if any, control of. I just want God to open my eyes to what He places in front of me and seize the opportunities He gives me. I want to live in His plans which will be far superior to mine.
Please don't think I'm advocating that for everyone...it's for me. I'm not going to workout or eat better or read more and be kinder just because I said it's something I want to do on January 1st. Heck, I've been wanting to do all that for years and where is "wanting to" getting me? I either will or I won't but I don't want to get bogged down in all that; only in what God has in store for me.
I want to share John Wesley's Covenant Prayer with you again. I posted it on September 21 and I'm trying again to speak it with conviction each morning. I leave it with you as a thought for how to live out 2011. Wesley's Covenant Prayer
Happy New Year and may it be filled with grace and peace for you.
In a few hours we will send out 2010 and step into 2011. For some of us, 2010 won't be missed but, unfortunately, we cannot run away from the hurts and pains this year brought our way. Not only that, we are going into the unknown. Who knows what 2011 will be? Are we usually hopeful for a better year? Yes, of course. Then again, I was hopeful for 2010 to be a great year...and it wasn't.
Here are my 2011 resolutions:
1. Write better. I go back and re-read some of my blogs and crack up where I can tell I combined two thoughts into one sentence without taking grammar into consideration. We'll see how it goes.
2. To make no more resolutions. I'm not sure I can resolve to not resolve but I'm done making plans, goals and resolutions in a life I have little, if any, control of. I just want God to open my eyes to what He places in front of me and seize the opportunities He gives me. I want to live in His plans which will be far superior to mine.
Please don't think I'm advocating that for everyone...it's for me. I'm not going to workout or eat better or read more and be kinder just because I said it's something I want to do on January 1st. Heck, I've been wanting to do all that for years and where is "wanting to" getting me? I either will or I won't but I don't want to get bogged down in all that; only in what God has in store for me.
I want to share John Wesley's Covenant Prayer with you again. I posted it on September 21 and I'm trying again to speak it with conviction each morning. I leave it with you as a thought for how to live out 2011. Wesley's Covenant Prayer
Happy New Year and may it be filled with grace and peace for you.
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
The Valley of Death
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for You are with me. Psalm 23:4
Good words to live by. I wonder why I often choose not to. I live in fear at times. Fear of doing the wrong thing/saying the wrong thing/disappointing someone/hurting someone/being hurt/of what I can imagine that may never happen/the unknown/things I know but cannot change. I could go on.
A friend reminded me today that scripture says I am walking through it, not camping in it. Oh, I suppose I can choose to camp there and maybe that changes the dynamics of things. However, if I choose to walk it out, to walk through the valley, God is there with me. It may be scary and ugly and all sorts of things but I don't have to fear the bad if God is there.
It's a good idea but one I haven't yet grasped, one I don't yet live by. I trust, though, that if I will continue to draw near to God, if I will continue to run into His arms that I will learn to walk without fear.
Grace and peace to you.
Good words to live by. I wonder why I often choose not to. I live in fear at times. Fear of doing the wrong thing/saying the wrong thing/disappointing someone/hurting someone/being hurt/of what I can imagine that may never happen/the unknown/things I know but cannot change. I could go on.
A friend reminded me today that scripture says I am walking through it, not camping in it. Oh, I suppose I can choose to camp there and maybe that changes the dynamics of things. However, if I choose to walk it out, to walk through the valley, God is there with me. It may be scary and ugly and all sorts of things but I don't have to fear the bad if God is there.
It's a good idea but one I haven't yet grasped, one I don't yet live by. I trust, though, that if I will continue to draw near to God, if I will continue to run into His arms that I will learn to walk without fear.
Grace and peace to you.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
More Pruning
On Christmas Eve, I was talking to my dad outside the house and he began talking about a flower bed that's in the middle of the yard. He was telling me how the plants quit growing and even though they watered more, it didn't help because so much stuff had built up around the plant's roots. When they pulled all the mulch and bark and other stuff out of the bed and cut the plants down dramatically did the plants began accepting water and growing.
I couldn't help but be reminded that is how life is for most of us. At some point, we have to be cut down and have all the stuff pulled out from around us because we aren't accepting what can help us grow. We have to be pruned so we can grow and blossom more brilliantly. It's not a new lesson but one that was good to be reminded of.
Grace and peace to you.
I couldn't help but be reminded that is how life is for most of us. At some point, we have to be cut down and have all the stuff pulled out from around us because we aren't accepting what can help us grow. We have to be pruned so we can grow and blossom more brilliantly. It's not a new lesson but one that was good to be reminded of.
Grace and peace to you.
Monday, December 27, 2010
2010 On The Way Out
2010 is winding down and in another weak I'll be messing up checks by writing the wrong year. I'm ready for '10 to be over and done with. Going into 2011 doesn't undo anything that happened in the past year, it's just the idea that new things will come in a new year and I pray that much of it is creates positive moments in my life and in the life of the people who are close to me and the people I have shared too much pain with in this year.
I got these excerpts from John Eldredge...
You are not your sin; sin is no longer the truest thing about the man who has come into union with Jesus. Your heart is good. "I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you" (Ezek. 36:26). The Big Lie in the church today is that you are nothing more than "a sinner saved by grace." You are a lot more than that. You are a new creation in Christ. The New Testament calls you a saint, a holy one, a son of God.The real you is on the side of God against the false self. Knowing this makes all the difference in the world. The man who wants to live valiantly will lose heart quickly if he believes that his heart is nothing but sin. Why fight?
These words remind me of things some dear friends have told me but that I have trouble accepting for myself. I hope 2011 will bring more understanding and belief that I am loved as I am...warts and all.
Grace and peace to you.
I got these excerpts from John Eldredge...
You are not your sin; sin is no longer the truest thing about the man who has come into union with Jesus. Your heart is good. "I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you" (Ezek. 36:26). The Big Lie in the church today is that you are nothing more than "a sinner saved by grace." You are a lot more than that. You are a new creation in Christ. The New Testament calls you a saint, a holy one, a son of God.The real you is on the side of God against the false self. Knowing this makes all the difference in the world. The man who wants to live valiantly will lose heart quickly if he believes that his heart is nothing but sin. Why fight?
These words remind me of things some dear friends have told me but that I have trouble accepting for myself. I hope 2011 will bring more understanding and belief that I am loved as I am...warts and all.
Grace and peace to you.
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Merry Christmas!
My hope today is that families will find joy in being together and that the hurting will find peace, that the hope that came through Jesus will be known by everyone one day and that love will reign on earth.
Grace and peace to you.
Grace and peace to you.
Friday, December 24, 2010
Christmas Eve 2010
Today is an anticipatory day. Santa is on his way. Tomorrow most of us will wake up with toys or underwear or a new iron and stockings full of candy to tide us over between desserts. Today is the last shot to get out there and grab something for a parent or spouse and maybe catch a last minute markdown. Or, in my case, a few lottery tickets because I lack imagination and gambling is ok on Christmas. I remember watching Harold Taft tracking Santa on the ten o'clock news. I remember going to bed and not wanting to sleep waiting on Santa to drop by and my parents waking me up to see the cool stuff. I remember the excitement of my own children in their early Christmases and the knowing smiles of Santa's identity while saying nothing as they got older.
Christmas has come to mean many things over the years and that changes again this year for me. Challenges of a new life paradigm and challenge of typing a blog post on my iPad for the first time. That said, today remains anticipatory of the hope tomorrow brings because the day is about the hope that entered the world in the flesh, the hope embodied by the Christ.
I hope as Christmas day approaches that all the folks who want to keep Christ in Christmas will keep Christ in their life, their words and their actions each and everyday. I hope that the world will come to know the peace we can have because of what these days represent.
I wish you all a Merry Christmas and hope that you will be reminded of hope regardless of the situation you find yourself in this Christmas.
Grace and peace to you.
Christmas has come to mean many things over the years and that changes again this year for me. Challenges of a new life paradigm and challenge of typing a blog post on my iPad for the first time. That said, today remains anticipatory of the hope tomorrow brings because the day is about the hope that entered the world in the flesh, the hope embodied by the Christ.
I hope as Christmas day approaches that all the folks who want to keep Christ in Christmas will keep Christ in their life, their words and their actions each and everyday. I hope that the world will come to know the peace we can have because of what these days represent.
I wish you all a Merry Christmas and hope that you will be reminded of hope regardless of the situation you find yourself in this Christmas.
Grace and peace to you.
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Thankfulness - Part 2
It's the season of gift giving and gift receiving. Some gifts are outrageously good, some outrageously hideous. Some gifts are expensive and rare, some inexpensive and personal. Some gifts require little thought, others bathed in love. Whatever the gift, it requires a giver and a receiver.
When I was a kid, I was perfectly acceptable to getting as many gifts as possible. I accepted them freely and with great joy. Gifts big and small, expensive and free...I took the approach of bring one, bring all. Something has changed though. Now, I would rather not receive any gifts. Oh, I'll still take them but I would be just about as happy without a gift as with a gift. I credit that to something that has followed me for many years, the feeling of not being worthy of receiving gifts. Or, the feeling that whatever is given to me needs to be returned with something just as valuable, if not more. This year is no different than several past. I received a gift from a friend that was far more valuable than what I could give in return and I'm still not sure I'm going to be able to simply accept it. I don't feel worthy of such a gift because I can't do anything to match it.
I think it's why I have so much trouble being thankful to my Lord. He has given me a gift that I feel unworthy to receive, a gift that I can't return with equal value. My trouble accepting physical gifts is very similar to my trouble accepting that I am loved unconditionally and that my salvation is secure.
Maybe the this year's gift will be a part of the learning process God wants me to experience so I can receive His good and perfect and priceless gift. Maybe if I can learn to accept gifts on earth I'll learn to accept the gifts God has freely given me without hope of reciprocation. Maybe.
Grace and peace to you.
When I was a kid, I was perfectly acceptable to getting as many gifts as possible. I accepted them freely and with great joy. Gifts big and small, expensive and free...I took the approach of bring one, bring all. Something has changed though. Now, I would rather not receive any gifts. Oh, I'll still take them but I would be just about as happy without a gift as with a gift. I credit that to something that has followed me for many years, the feeling of not being worthy of receiving gifts. Or, the feeling that whatever is given to me needs to be returned with something just as valuable, if not more. This year is no different than several past. I received a gift from a friend that was far more valuable than what I could give in return and I'm still not sure I'm going to be able to simply accept it. I don't feel worthy of such a gift because I can't do anything to match it.
I think it's why I have so much trouble being thankful to my Lord. He has given me a gift that I feel unworthy to receive, a gift that I can't return with equal value. My trouble accepting physical gifts is very similar to my trouble accepting that I am loved unconditionally and that my salvation is secure.
Maybe the this year's gift will be a part of the learning process God wants me to experience so I can receive His good and perfect and priceless gift. Maybe if I can learn to accept gifts on earth I'll learn to accept the gifts God has freely given me without hope of reciprocation. Maybe.
Grace and peace to you.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Thankfulness - Part 1
What does a person do when they have eternity to be thankful for but a day coming up at the end of the week that they are dreading profusely? What does a person do when they can't see past the pain they know is coming even though they are surrounded by people who love them? How do you help someone be thankful for all that they have when there is a depth of pain that is immense for what they don't have?
I have joined a group of people who dread Christmas. For years, especially the last 16, Christmas morning has been something I looked forward to. This year, I would prefer to be oblivious to it's existence because it is not as it has been, not as I have come to expect, not as I dream it would remain. The enormity of my pain as I think about that day is working to block out all that is good in my life. It is easier to be sad than to be thankful. It is easier to imagine being alone on that day than sharing it with people. It is easier, but somewhere deep down, I know it isn't beneficial for me. So, I will join friends in activities on that day hoping to be distracted from the force that wants my heart to hurt and my mind to send a barrage of negative thoughts like a loop that never ends.
I have never been able to understand the pain people face at Christmas until now. And, not that I understand everyone's pain, but I do have a sense of how pain can occur and how it can shake their foundation. If you are one of those who find this Christmas to be something you dread, I hurt for you. If you are one who still lives in the joy of Christmas, in the joy of the smiles and laughs of children and family, in the joy of remembering that what we are really celebrating is the hope for the future that was brought into the world through the birth of Jesus, relish it and try to share it with your friends who are hurting. Whether they will accept it or not, it helps to know you care and that there remains much to be thankful for whether we all want to believe it right now or not.
I know my words are not adequate for all who are hurting or all who can't wait for Christmas to be here. I hope, in the absence of my ability to convey the right words, that you will hear the voice of God tell you what He wants you to know...and do...and that thankfulness will rule this season.
Grace and peace to you.
I have joined a group of people who dread Christmas. For years, especially the last 16, Christmas morning has been something I looked forward to. This year, I would prefer to be oblivious to it's existence because it is not as it has been, not as I have come to expect, not as I dream it would remain. The enormity of my pain as I think about that day is working to block out all that is good in my life. It is easier to be sad than to be thankful. It is easier to imagine being alone on that day than sharing it with people. It is easier, but somewhere deep down, I know it isn't beneficial for me. So, I will join friends in activities on that day hoping to be distracted from the force that wants my heart to hurt and my mind to send a barrage of negative thoughts like a loop that never ends.
I have never been able to understand the pain people face at Christmas until now. And, not that I understand everyone's pain, but I do have a sense of how pain can occur and how it can shake their foundation. If you are one of those who find this Christmas to be something you dread, I hurt for you. If you are one who still lives in the joy of Christmas, in the joy of the smiles and laughs of children and family, in the joy of remembering that what we are really celebrating is the hope for the future that was brought into the world through the birth of Jesus, relish it and try to share it with your friends who are hurting. Whether they will accept it or not, it helps to know you care and that there remains much to be thankful for whether we all want to believe it right now or not.
I know my words are not adequate for all who are hurting or all who can't wait for Christmas to be here. I hope, in the absence of my ability to convey the right words, that you will hear the voice of God tell you what He wants you to know...and do...and that thankfulness will rule this season.
Grace and peace to you.
Monday, December 20, 2010
!(&#$*(&)*$_@#%$_**(#&$
That's the feeling when you try to copy and paste something into your blog and can't get it to format properly.
I'll skip the humorous story I was going to share. Just laugh and play like you read something funny.
Our Bible class yesterday was on the idea of thankfulness. It was a great class because a) the teacher used a funny analogy or two I might try to repeat here, b) it made me think of some thoughts I have long held that I might share here in the coming days that won't square with the norm and c) it made me realize I'm not really living in thankfulness right now. Oh, I'm thankful for plenty of things but my outlook and demeanor isn't one of thankfulness. Not right now.
Well, there's work to be done and shopping finished. I hope you get it all done without pulling your hair out.
Grace and peace to you.
I'll skip the humorous story I was going to share. Just laugh and play like you read something funny.
Our Bible class yesterday was on the idea of thankfulness. It was a great class because a) the teacher used a funny analogy or two I might try to repeat here, b) it made me think of some thoughts I have long held that I might share here in the coming days that won't square with the norm and c) it made me realize I'm not really living in thankfulness right now. Oh, I'm thankful for plenty of things but my outlook and demeanor isn't one of thankfulness. Not right now.
Well, there's work to be done and shopping finished. I hope you get it all done without pulling your hair out.
Grace and peace to you.
Friday, December 17, 2010
Bang, Bang
I had the opportunity to go bird hunting this week and thoroughly enjoyed my time in the field. I wished we would have seen more birds and that the wind wasn't blowing so hard but we can always hope for perfect days, can't we? It was good to work behind dogs again, to hear the rise of a covey of quail and to see a dog retrieve a downed bird. Those days remind me of days gone by and places hunted in my past and wonderful memories of dogs and hunting partners, of smart-aleck comments and jibes...of good times gone and good times to come.
I'm reading a new book about God's love for me. It's great, very helpful in my walk right now and full of stuff I'll share eventually. I got hooked on this quote the other day in my reading...
"If we take all the goodness, wisdom and compassion of the best mothers and fathers who have ever lived, they would only be a faint shadow of the love and mercy in the heart of the redeeming God." - Brennan Manning
God loves me so much and yet I have had a hard time accepting it, free and unconditional. I'm a work in progress but I'm getting glimpses of how God loves me and accepts me as I am, made in His image. I have a hope for very, very bright days ahead.
Grace and peace to you.
I'm reading a new book about God's love for me. It's great, very helpful in my walk right now and full of stuff I'll share eventually. I got hooked on this quote the other day in my reading...
"If we take all the goodness, wisdom and compassion of the best mothers and fathers who have ever lived, they would only be a faint shadow of the love and mercy in the heart of the redeeming God." - Brennan Manning
God loves me so much and yet I have had a hard time accepting it, free and unconditional. I'm a work in progress but I'm getting glimpses of how God loves me and accepts me as I am, made in His image. I have a hope for very, very bright days ahead.
Grace and peace to you.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Water, Water Everywhere
Sometimes, it's good when you know the policeman who pulls you over. Whew.
My birthday is this month and I've been posting information on Facebook about my effort to help Charity:Water (www.charitywater.org) raise $500. That's a drop in the bucket for what they are trying to accomplish but a start. I was able to hear the founder share his story in October as was moved by what he is doing. He mentioned a fundraising program they started to "give your birthday to charity:water" and I decided to go along. If you would like to give, go to this link (http://mycharitywater.org/fromwisecounty) and you can donate and they will send you a tax receipt. And thank you for considering it. If you can't give now, please pray that this will continue to be a successful effort and go to their website to read more about what they are doing.
Clean water. Taken for granted by many. Needed by so many.
Grace and peace to you.
My birthday is this month and I've been posting information on Facebook about my effort to help Charity:Water (www.charitywater.org) raise $500. That's a drop in the bucket for what they are trying to accomplish but a start. I was able to hear the founder share his story in October as was moved by what he is doing. He mentioned a fundraising program they started to "give your birthday to charity:water" and I decided to go along. If you would like to give, go to this link (http://mycharitywater.org/fromwisecounty) and you can donate and they will send you a tax receipt. And thank you for considering it. If you can't give now, please pray that this will continue to be a successful effort and go to their website to read more about what they are doing.
Clean water. Taken for granted by many. Needed by so many.
Grace and peace to you.
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Fighting Disappointment
An interesting weekend it was. I spent some time with old friends and the topic of disappointment was prevalent in each conversation...one that was full of pain, another that was full of hope. Trying to do what people wanted me to do has often left me tired, frustrated, mad and longing for something different while the fear of disappointing them has left me exhausted and often wanting to be isolated. It's a fear that has played to my programming that says my performance is what matters and if I don't perform to expectations, I lose. I lose their love, friendship, respect, status. The kicker is, I've rolled that over to my relationship with God too.
Looking at myself, the things that disappoint me are things that don't happen in my image of they way it should be. The Longhorns football season, the World Series, the girl who wouldn't go out with me in college, the friend who didn't go with me when I wanted them to. Disappointment comes when things don't match the way I see it and then I cast that on to someone else. The Longhorns and Rangers didn't want to lose, the girl had her eyes on someone else she felt was a better match, the friend had another option that was more in line with what he wanted. When I disappoint someone, it's not because I did something wrong as much as it is that their desire and expectation is something different than my own. Yet, when I know I have caused disappointment, the fear and pain of losing my standing with them, of letting them down, of causing pain stays with me. For days. For weeks. For years.
A dear friend told me the other day that God doesn't get disappointed. He knows the number of hairs on my head. He knows me inside and out and better than I know myself. He has no misconceptions about me, no beliefs about me that aren't true. And, even though I don't always do what His will for me is, He continues to love me and continues to be open to me coming back to His hope and direction for me. When I choose something that pulls me away from Him, he isn't disappointed but stable. My status with God doesn't drop. I don't have to try harder, I don't have to start over. He just keeps loving me as I am.
At least that's what my friend told me.
I'm going to try to begin living in that better. I'm going to try and quit worrying so much about disappointing people that I push them away. I'm going to try and start living at peace with my decisions and quit realize that grown ups are grown up and can deal with their own feelings. I'm going to try and remember that God loves me as I am, not as He imagines me being or as I imagine myself...just as I am. I'm going to try.
Grace and peace to you.
Looking at myself, the things that disappoint me are things that don't happen in my image of they way it should be. The Longhorns football season, the World Series, the girl who wouldn't go out with me in college, the friend who didn't go with me when I wanted them to. Disappointment comes when things don't match the way I see it and then I cast that on to someone else. The Longhorns and Rangers didn't want to lose, the girl had her eyes on someone else she felt was a better match, the friend had another option that was more in line with what he wanted. When I disappoint someone, it's not because I did something wrong as much as it is that their desire and expectation is something different than my own. Yet, when I know I have caused disappointment, the fear and pain of losing my standing with them, of letting them down, of causing pain stays with me. For days. For weeks. For years.
A dear friend told me the other day that God doesn't get disappointed. He knows the number of hairs on my head. He knows me inside and out and better than I know myself. He has no misconceptions about me, no beliefs about me that aren't true. And, even though I don't always do what His will for me is, He continues to love me and continues to be open to me coming back to His hope and direction for me. When I choose something that pulls me away from Him, he isn't disappointed but stable. My status with God doesn't drop. I don't have to try harder, I don't have to start over. He just keeps loving me as I am.
At least that's what my friend told me.
I'm going to try to begin living in that better. I'm going to try and quit worrying so much about disappointing people that I push them away. I'm going to try and start living at peace with my decisions and quit realize that grown ups are grown up and can deal with their own feelings. I'm going to try and remember that God loves me as I am, not as He imagines me being or as I imagine myself...just as I am. I'm going to try.
Grace and peace to you.
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