Thankfulness - Part 2

It's the season of gift giving and gift receiving.  Some gifts are outrageously good, some outrageously hideous.  Some gifts are expensive and rare, some inexpensive and personal.  Some gifts require little thought, others bathed in love.  Whatever the gift, it requires a giver and a receiver. 


When I was a kid, I was perfectly acceptable to getting as many gifts as possible.  I accepted them freely and with great joy.  Gifts big and small, expensive and free...I took the approach of bring one, bring all.  Something has changed though.  Now, I would rather not receive any gifts.  Oh, I'll still take them but I would be just about as happy without a gift as with a gift.  I credit that to something that has followed me for many years, the feeling of not being worthy of receiving gifts.  Or, the feeling that whatever is given to me needs to be returned with something just as valuable, if not more.  This year is no different than several past.  I received a gift from a friend that was far more valuable than what I could give in return and I'm still not sure I'm going to be able to simply accept it.  I don't feel worthy of such a gift because I can't do anything to match it. 


I think it's why I have so much trouble being thankful to my Lord.  He has given me a gift that I feel unworthy to receive, a gift that I can't return with equal value.  My trouble accepting physical gifts is very similar to my trouble accepting that I am loved unconditionally and that my salvation is secure. 


Maybe the this year's gift will be a part of the learning process God wants me to experience so I can receive His good and perfect and priceless gift.  Maybe if I can learn to accept gifts on earth I'll learn to accept the gifts God has freely given me without hope of reciprocation.  Maybe. 


Grace and peace to you.