Not Much Today

I really don't have much going on today.
I'm sick of hearing about Adam (Pacman) Jones.
I'm willing to bet a Diet Dr. Pepper there are some golfers who have used steroids.
The Rangers lost their first series in a while...to Tampa Bay...who has the best record in baseball. Go figure.
I really enjoyed our study of Ecclesiastes this past quarter. It reminded me that the things I put so much effort into in this world are really meaningless unless those actions are aligned with my ultimate goal of Heaven.
I spend every waking moment with thoughts on forgiveness and prayer bouncing around in my brain. I know they are two areas that will draw me closer to knowing God the more I know and practice them.
I'm realizing more every day that the practice, the routine of trying to forgive and praying will be somewhat empty until I build my relationship with God by trusting Him and submitting to Him.

I long for peace...for you, for me and for everyone who walks this planet.

End of School

It amazes me that another school year is almost over. My baby girl goes to high school next year and I'm still not fully accepting that. My children have now blown through the elementary and intermediate schools - it doesn't seem right. When I slow down long enough to reflect on their growth, I'm struck by how big they are getting; physically and emotionally. It scares me that they will be gone before long but reminds me how I want to cherish the time they are here.

They have both blown me away this year with their academic achievement. I know parents think their kids are the brightest and best looking ever and I'll sign up for that role. I am very proud of how they have done in school and thankful they got their mother's smarts and good looks.
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Tonight at church, the incoming 7th graders get to come meet with the youth group. Both the kids will now be a part of this program which has been an absolute blessing to our church. Our youth minister, Jacob and his wife, Heather have been incredible leaders, examples and friends to so many kids who have come through our doors. I joke with Jacob at times that he is now responsible for raising my children but, in fact, he and Heather take on a role of being a teacher and mentor to the kids which allows them to be a great influence in these kids lives. I am so thankful for these two and the love and passion they both share for our youth.
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How 'bout them Rangers? They are still hanging in there but can't seem to get over the .500 hump. It's just fun to watch them play some competitive baseball. They beat the Tampa Bay Rays last night who, surprisingly, own the best record in baseball. Go Rangers!

Cool Air

Gig 'em Aggies. The friend who came over to look at our air conditioner is an Aggie and being that it seems our a/c is working properly again, I'm a big Aggie fan today. I think I've got the fenced patched up. It's down to getting the truck running again.
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Do you go through periods where you feel like there is something you need to be seeing or learning or correcting but can't put your finger on what it is? I feel like I'm going through one of those right now, a time where I believe God is wanting me to see something or do something but I haven't quite figured it out yet. It's frustrating and trying. I want answers but don't necessarily want to seek them or wait on them.
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A scripture from Colossians came up last week in a conversation that always strikes me with a mental thump on the head. "Forgive as God forgave you." I can't help but always wonder what kind of person I would be if I forgave the way God forgives me and if the world forgave as God forgives. What would our relationships between family, friends, church members, governments, nations - what would our relationships be like if we forgave like God forgives? What would we be like?

We would be more like the image of God.

Happy Holidays

Today is Memorial Day, a holiday I think really gets overlooked. Today is a day to remember people who have sacrificed their lives for this country, for you and for me. I hope people will stop to remember today, remember what we have and what it cost to achieve it.
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It's been an "exciting" weekend for us. The air conditioner has gone out, my truck quit running and the dog literally tore a hole through the fence and got out. I don't know what's coming next but I could use a break right now. I think I've got the fence pretty well secured. A friend from church who used to work on a/c units is coming over today to look at ours and hopefully, I'll get my truck in the shop tomorrow and it won't be too expensive to make it go again.
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If I'm adding in my head correctly, we are roughly 20 days away from leaving for Brazil. That doesn't seem quite possible but the day is coming fast. I ask for your prayers for safety and for God's will to be served in our trip and for our families who stay home and keep things running.

Peace to you today.

Hoops

Last night was basketball night after church. I got to play on the team that won both games we played. Someone made the comment last night about people not realizing they are too old to be playing anymore (most of the guys playing last night were in their late-teens or 20's) and I thought I resembled that remark. I have to spend more time stretching out and wearing braces that keep me from falling apart but I still love to play basketball. My leaping ability has degraded to the point where I'm happy to jump over a string so I spend more time passing and setting picks so the young guns can do what they do in the lane. The majority of my shots come from the outside so I can get a little spacing. Still, it's a game I have always loved to play and it remains that way today...even with the aches and pains.
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Jacob started a great class on prayer last night. He talked about making sure we are seeking what God wants when we pray, not just what we want. He made the point that we sometimes treat God like Santa Claus, just giving him our wish list and then going on our way. I appreciate what Jacob challenges our kids with and challenges me with also. I want to pray that God will use me, will work through me and let me speak for Him instead of just telling God the way I think things need to be. I want to honor God by giving Him control and glorifying Him.

Speed Racer

I went to see Speed Racer last Friday with my son and some of his friends. While I wasn't crazy about the movie overall, there was a scene that got me thinking about something else I have been thinking about which made me think that much more about it. Confusing?

Speed is a little boy and Rex, his brother, is letting Speed sit in his lap driving Rex's race car. He tells Speed something along the lines of "just listen to her (the race car) and she will tell you what to do." The idea was that instead of Speed having to make it all happen, if he would listen to what the car was telling him, he would know how to drive better. In a way, it comes down to the relationship between the driver and the car.

I'm going to be talking to our youth class in a few weeks about prayer and my lesson is going to be centered on our relationship with God and the idea that the better our relationship is, the better our prayer life will be. Just think about someone you don't know very well and having to start a conversation with them. It's not always easy and sometimes there is little said. Other times, as you converse, you find commonality and build bonds and the conversation is easier and future conversations are something you look forward to. One of the keys to building that relationship is to not be the one doing all the talking but to take time and listen, hear what the other person is telling you. That's a failure often in my relationship with God. I pray telling him what I need, what I want, what I hope will happen and then I'm done and gone. There is no listening on my part and only 1/2 of the relationship is being fulfilled.

My prayer life has to be built on a relationship. I need to know God well enough that I can have a conversation with Him and that prayer time is something I look forward to over and over. To build that relationship, I also need to listen, to hear what He is telling me. If it do it, I will certainly go further, faster than any race car could ever take me.

Cool Night

Our church building was filled last night with parents and video cameras for The Children's Place end of year program. It was another great night with the kids showing just a little bit of what they have learned during the year. The Children's Place has been a great project over the years and I have enjoyed being a part of it and watching it grow.
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The Rangers lost yesterday. Just when I thought they would win the rest of their games.

Are the NBA playoffs still going? I wouldn't know. I heard something about LeBron getting on his mother at a game. I bet that was fun for him later that night.

I'm so tired of the sports scandals but it won't end until the fans quit paying lots and lots and lots of money to go see these guys perform.
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This is where some blogs leave a question for you to answer. Since I don't have many responders, I'll leave the question up to your own mind today. I hope you get the answer right.

Mid-week Slump

It's Wednesday and I feel brain-dead today. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's the rainy weather and a small desire to get back in bed and sleep.
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How 'bout them Rangers! They played some really, really good ball last night.

They still scare me at 1st base.
I don't think C.J. Wilson would be a closer anywhere else but he's all we have right now.
Hank Blalock has spent way too much time on the DL the last few years to give me the feeling he will be a reliable player in the future.
Pitching is always iffy but our guys have done well more often than not. I just wonder how long it will last.

With the exception of those concerns, the Rangers are fun to watch right now. They've won the last 6 series which they last did when they made the playoffs ('99 I think). I'm ready to go to another game and wish I could make it out for the Houston series this weekend.
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Our mission group is roughly 33/34 days from leaving for Brazil. I am starting to solicit your prayers now and will do so more the closer we get.

Peace.

Sports and Thoughts

I stayed up watching the Rangers last night and was rewarded for my lack of sleep around 11:00 when Ramon Vasquez hit a walk-off home run in the bottom of the 10th. It was a crazy game that both teams should have put away and neither team really deserved to win but I'm glad the Rangers came out on top. They are still toying just under the .500 mark and only 4.5 games out of 1st place. In the end, they don't have to win it all for me to be happy but just be competitive. They are doing that right now and I retract my earlier remarks that the sky is falling on the Rangers.
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I'm going to recommend The Shack as a book to read. I finished it last night and have a myriad of thoughts from it and about it. I am recommending for one reason only; it has made me think, rethink and think some more about how big God is, about how far He goes with us and how He works in ways I cannot imagine. It has pushed me to start taking down the mental borders of where I think God works and to give Him control of everything instead of me thinking I can share control and see the parameters of where God works.

The book is written as a true story yet I still think of it as fiction. I just can't believe it's real but for now will accept that God can do whatever God wants to do whether I believe it or not. I think there will be a lot of people who read it and use it to point out areas of liberal theology. Others may read it and use it to state no rules exist and whatever we want to do is just OK. Others, and I hope it will be the biggest percentage, who read it will simply grow in a desire to know God better.

I don't understand God and don't know that I will while on this earth but I do know I want to get closer to knowing Him and understanding Him and to do that, I have to quit thinking about God in the box that I'm comfortable with and let God express Himself to me in the way He desires. That's not easy but where I am today.

I think this is a journey that will be tumultuous at times but will lead me to peace in Him, through Him.

Challenges

I think I've mentioned that I am reading a book titled "The Shack" right now. It's a big seller in Christian book circles and there are lots of recommendations to read it (of course, they don't post most of the don't-read letters). I'm not finished with it yet but I'm going to take some space to write about some of the challenges and thoughts it has brought to me.

The very first challenge I had was the wording that was used to define God. The author uses "Papa" when referring to God and that just flies all over me. I'm not sure why but if I don't like it, it shouldn't be done and I shouldn't give the book much credibility, should I? That's the way I think at times, as silly as it may be.

The idea that my theology is right and that's just the way it is is one of the biggest challenges that has come to me in this book. As I read, I keep having the thought that maybe, just maybe, it's not what I want to believe but what God wants me to believe - that maybe my doctrine and my parameters and my paradigm aren't exactly the same as God's doctrine and parameters and paradigm. YIKES!

What I've determined through a little introspection is that I need to be more open to God - to open my eyes and my mind and my heart more to hear Him instead of seeing things through my own experience. Yes, that is a challenge.

Mom's the Word

Sunday is Mother's Day and I want to give thanks for the mothers in my life. Moms have a special place in most people's lives and mine is no different. My mom certainly had her hands full at times but always loved me through whatever I put her through. She helped mold me and shape me and make my life the best she could give me. I may never appreciate the sacrifices she made for me but I am pretty confident that she still wouldn't have it any other way. Most of the memories that immediately come to mind have to do with food or moments that I was surely exasperating her. Lemon ice box pie, fried chicken, black-eyed peas and hot water cornbread, boiled shrimp. I certainly ate good. We still laugh (maybe I laugh more than her) about the last spanking she gave me. I remember the fear I put in her life when I was off on my motorcycle and she couldn't find me. It's only been since I've had children that I understood that fear. There's no telling how many basketball and football games she sat through cheering me on.

Thank you mom for loving me every moment of my life.
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I am thankful for my wife, the mother of my children. I would guess, like I was and many children are, that they do not know how to appreciate their mom for all she does but one day they will. How many meals have been prepared, how many pieces of clothing washed, miles driven to church and school functions and on and on? How many scrapes, bumps and bruises have been cleaned and kissed for faster healing? There is so much she does without fanfare simple driven by her love for her children. I have been blessed and my two kids have been blessed with a wonderful wife and mother.
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I am thankful for my mother-in-law. She has been a blessing to 3 children, their spouses and 8 grandchildren. Her love for her family is shared all the time. I am thankful for the love she gave her children which is evident in how they live their lives and the feeling of acceptance she gave to me many years ago. I count it a blessing that I have such a good relationship with her and I give thanks for her.
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The common thread through these 3 mothers is their love for God and their desire to honor Him. What an incredible blessing and legacy for their children.

Thank you to the 3 wonderful women in my life.

Wet Days

It's one of those rainy, sleepy days. One of those days where crawling back in bed and going back to sleep seems really appealing.
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I'm currently reading a book titled "The Shack." It's a story about a guy who goes through some turmoil in his life and his relationship with God. I'm not sure how I feel about it right now but it has some interesting thoughts on how we view pain and suffering and what God sees. I simply bring this up because of the cyclone that hit Mynamar, a tragedy in human eyes, and this book is making me really think about why God would or wouldn't let something like that happen.

I'm trying to open my mind to God more, to get out of the habit of trying to only understand God through my eyes but to let God show me what He wants me to see. I have a habit of trying to figure out God in my paradigm of experiences and I'm coming to the conclusion that He just might not fit in a box that I can imagine or create.
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That's all I have for today. It's Wednesday. Church and basketball. I'm headed out of town either Thursday or Friday so I may miss a day of posting.

I hope you have peace for today.

New Stuff and The End

I've been playing around with what you see on my blog a little bit. My wife told me about the verse of the day feature from Biblegateway.com which is a cool feature. Thanks to her for helping me be a bit more technologically savvy. I also added a picture I took in Venice, Louisiana last year. It's sunset around the Gulf of Mexico. I love sunsets and this picture is very calming to me.
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Many of you have probably heard the story of Randy Pausch (I think I spelled it right) who is dying of pancreatic cancer. He was a professor at Carnegie-Mellon and delivered his last lecture at the school last year. It was a lecture about things that have come to him knowing he had a relatively short time to live. He is married with 3 very young children and he was looking for a way to pass on his love for them and nuggets of wisdom he would want them to know. It's a touching story but even more, a thought-provoking story for anyone who hears him.

What would you do if you knew you only had months to live? What would you tell your family? What would you tell others? Where would you go? What would you want to leave behind? How would you change? Are there people or things that frustrate you now that don't matter if you only have weeks/months left? Are there things you would go try? Questions that all of us have encountered at one time or another but not with the intensity of someone with a short time to live.

These are questions that are on my mind but I'm living as if there are years and years to get to them. I'm contemplating my current approach to those questions and many others. In the next day or so, I'll post some links to his lecture so you can hear more for yourself.

Peace to you.

Prayer

I believe in the power of prayer, I believe in the beauty of being able to talk to God and that He hears us. I believe in the necessity of constant, continual prayer to stay linked to God and to give Satan less access to our heads and hearts. I believe these things but find myself so often struggling with prayer. Making time for it. Feeling like I know what to say, how to praise God, what to ask for. Sometimes my prayers are asking for forgiveness and I am brought to tears because of the grace God extends to me. Other prayers are for my family, for missionaries I know and don't know, for people I know that are hurting, for strength. I pray for so many things and yet, often I feel my prayers are so inadequate that I just pray for God to understand what I cannot even figure out how to say. And, I believe He does that for me.

I am thankful for prayer and my hope is that I learn to use this gift God gave me better each day; that through my prayers I will grow closer to God and that my prayers may bring peace to those in need of what He offers.

I hope you live in His peace today.

No Post Today

I'm sorry but I don't seem to have the mental capacity to offer much today.

Avery's gone.
I saw a clip on GMA this morning about a softball game where a girl hits a home run and when coming around 1st base, her knee blows out. Some girls from the other team come over, pick her up and carry her around the bases letting her touch each one so she gets her home run. Great sportsmanship.
The Rangers won! The Rangers won!
I've been asked to speak to our youth group about prayer. Yikes! It's one of those things I think I could babble on about for hours and fear I'd never make sense. I have so many thoughts about it but feel inadequate to talk about it. Pray for me to find some wisdom to share in a message God wants these kids to hear.
Yesterday was the end of the month. I always have some deadlines at the end of the month that I worry about making because I have to depend on other people. I got it done and now I'm just waiting to exhale.
I hear the Phoenix coach may be coming to Dallas. I could criticize him all day but at least he hasn't admitted to smoking marijuana or started a riot in a strip club.
Last night in our youth class, 1/4 of the kids (I'm guessing) don't normally go to our church. It's the power of our youth to be willing to share Christ with anyone they come in contact with. From what I know, several of them that come regularly don't have a church home. Amazing. I am encouraged every week by the young people at our church.

Peace to you today.

Throw 'Em All Out

This is about the Mavs, not politics. I have to admit I watched very little of the Mavericks season because I do not enjoy pro basketball and the Mavs brand of the last several years has been the worst in my mind. I guess I'm old school. I like hard work, fundamentals and defense - something sorely lacking from most of the Mavs play I did watch. In my useless opinion, Dirk is a great 2nd guy but not a good1st guy. I think he plays soft and shows little, if any, emotional fire but it's not all Dirk. He doesn't have the cast of characters around him that he needs. There's no meat to the team, no fight. A bunch of guys shooting jump shots in a league that doesn't shoot jump shots very well. I'm glad their season is over so I don't have to listen or see them. Anguishing over watching the Rangers is bad enough.

Speaking of the Rangers, it's painful and I wonder why something hasn't been done to show hope for the future. Washington doesn't seem to be the guy so why keep him? Or is it Daniels? Yes, they need pitching but the fielding has been horrific and Washington is supposed to be the fundamentals coach. Uh-oh. My wife got me the MLB package a couple of years ago and I find myself watching National League games the majority of the time. I'll watch the Cardinals and the Braves with some Mets thrown in and I enjoy watching the Padres, Rockies and Diamondbacks for later games. I just can't cheer for another American League team so I'm more of a National League fan now. Thanks Rangers.

I enjoy watching the Firehouse Muscle the most. It's been an up-and-down year for the team. They take the field again this weekend and hopefully will continue to show improvement from their two good games in the last tournament.

Focused

Our Sunday morning class is currently studying Ecclesiastes (I may have misspelled). I don't recall ever studying it but have found it fascinating. I don't understand much of it after reading it once and have to go over it several times. Last week we began reading Chapter 7 and, again, I was fascinated by what I read. The first verse says something like "a good name is better than a fine perfume and the day of death is better than the day of birth." As we studied, I kept coming back to that verse and what it meant. My focus kept going to "the day of death better than the day of birth." I think what the entire section we read was telling us that our focus has to be on heaven, not earth. The day of death on earth leads us to the first day of heaven.

I think I am becoming more heaven focused and want to keep doing that. I am growing more comfortable that the day of death will take me to a better place, a place I still can't fully imagine and know will exceed anything I can imagine.

Lights Out

The power in our part of Decatur went out this morning. It's crazy when the electricity goes out because so much of what we do is dependent on it. Fortunately, the power company had it fixed in a relatively short time and life is back to normal.
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The Rangers are now on a "win-1, lose-2" program. It's not very exciting but good to see them win now and then.

My son and I saw ACU play Friday night and Saturday afternoon. There were a combined 38 hits in the Friday night game and I think Tarleton threw 6 or 7 different pitchers. The Saturday game was a bit closer but it wasn't a pitcher's duel either. The ACU facility is really nice and a fun place to watch a game.

The Fort Worth Cats start play pretty soon. It's always a fun time at the Cats game. The stadium is great, the seats are inexpensive and they serve Kinkaid's hamburgers.
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I didn't pay much attention to the NFL draft over the weekend other than to think how many new millionaires were created in a day. It's astonishing what those guys do and how much they make doing it. Even a guy like Pacman Jones can keep playing and making loads of money if he has the ability. Astonishing.

Then I hear Josh Howard admitted to smoking pot on the radio Friday. What in the world?

Rangers Schmangers

The Rangers are killing me. It's just horrible baseball and the owner needs to make a change. I don't see any improvement from last year and, in fact, think they may be playing worse. The "player's" manager who was going to be the hero of fundamentals just isn't getting it done and I don't think I can stand to watch much more of this pathetic play without something happening to shake things up. I don't expect them to turn it around and make the playoffs but do something other than ask me to spend my money with no effort at change.
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I'm headed west this afternoon with my son to watch some baseball at my alma mater. ACU did not have baseball when I was at school and I don't know that I cared but we have gone out for a game almost every year for the past 3 or 4 years. It's a good environment to watch a game (no beer, no cussing, no streakers - I suppose) and a fun time for us. Here's hoping the rain leaves us alone.

Awkward Silence

The idea of being still with God has been on my mind of late. When I think of being still with God, my thoughts go towards not only being still but being quiet. My idea is to work to free my mind of all the things I am thinking about and let God speak to me. Now, I don't think I'm going to hear this booming voice and rays of sunshine but I do think, over time, that simply clearing my head may help guide me to a better understanding of what God wants for me or maybe what I need to be doing for God.

This isn't a very concrete idea which may be part of the reason it's hard for me and maybe others to grasp. It's also difficult to be quiet sometimes. Have you even been in a conversation or class where there was a moment of silence? You can almost feel people wanting to speak up just to break the silence...something must be said. Rick's blog recently referred to a mantra I have heard used that we should speak where the Bible speaks and be silent where the Bible is silent. I think some of our traditions, our rules and our judgments have come because people have a hard time being silent so when the Bible is silent, someone feels the need to fill the silence with their ideas.

I don't know where I'm going with this other than wanting to explore more into the idea of being quiet, being silent in the presence of God and to hear what He wants me to hear. Maybe it will only be a time to free my mind of my thoughts and my desires. Maybe He will lead me to a thought. Maybe I'll hear a booming voice and see rays of sunshine. Whatever the case may be, I hope to try it and see what I learn from it. Maybe there will be more on this later.