I want peace but usually find I am troubled.
Some people say I have trouble saying "no" (Hi mom!). I suppose I do at times. A friend texted me today to see if I could handle something for him at church this weekend because he has to be out of town. Of course I said yes.
I was talking to someone the other night and asked the question I often ask myself, "so what do I cut out?" All the things I do are important to me so cutting something out means I don't do something that is important, or at least worthy, in my own mind. However, these choices do bring trouble. Lack of sleep. Periods of mental fuzziness. Stress. Tension.
Eventually, my body will crash and sleep will be a necessity. Eventually my mind will clear up. Eventually the stress and tension and grumpiness will pass and I'll be left remembering the choices I made to do the things I thought were worthy. I hope in that time I will find peace.
In this world I will have trouble. Trouble with my decisions. Trouble with other people's decisions. Trouble with temptation and dark forces. Lots of trouble. That's what the world brings but Christ has overcome the world. I will get through the good and the bad of this life but I continue to yearn for what lies ahead, for the ultimate peace the Christ has planned for me.
Grace and peace.
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