By the time you are 46 years old, there has been plenty of time for bad ideas and hurtful emotions to take root within you. By the time you are 46 years old, there has been plenty of time to tell yourself a lot of things that are not right but seem plausible. By the time you are 46 years old, there has been plenty of time for a battle to ensnare your soul to be raging without pause.
It isn't easy undoing. It isn't easy unwinding what has been wound. Sometimes, it seems, demolition work is the easier alternative but not always the practical one. Sometimes, you just have to take time to unwind, to undo, what has taken many years to build. Sometimes the bricks have to come down one at a time before the rebuilding can begin. Sometimes you have to peel the onion one layer at a time.
That's the way I feel today. There are things that I have accepted and believed about myself for years that aren't true. I wish I could just demolish what isn't right and start from the ground up but demolishing means taking out everything, good or bad, and I don't think that's the right approach. So I'm unstacking the bricks one at a time, I'm peeling the onion layer by layer. It's slow and sometimes I think I've reached the core only to find that I'm really not there yet, there's still some mistakes and rough patches that need to be removed so the process starts again.
One day I'll reach the core and can start rebuilding with the truth. I'm ready for that day.
Grace and peace to you.
2 comments:
Good thoughts.
The same is true at 37.
Just like road work-- it's never finished. All Christ followers are works in progress...until that Day.
Not to discourage you, but it's the same at 54, too. It's a really big, multilayered onion.
But I believe that is what makes the journey more interesting.
Post a Comment