I struggle to be the person God wants me to be. I believe. I have faith. I trust that God is there and yet I struggle that He hears me at times. I struggle when I don't see my prayers being answered in my timing. I struggle because my faith is weak at times and because my desires try to trump God's desire for me. I don't know His plan yet I want to. I want to know the answers to my questions and I want to know them know. I'm impatient.

The following lyrics are the opening lines from Mercy In Me by Todd Agnew. The speak to me vibrantly because I always want a little more for myself thinking if I just had more, I would do more for God. What I need is to be rich in God, in His love and grace and mercy and be content with that. I'm praying that I will.

A poor man on the corner
I could give to you by buying him lunch,
But I rarely think about it
'Cause I got a little but it's not that much.
And I say? Lord won't you help me
Give me a little bit more for myself?
And you say? Child won't you let me
Take all that you got and give you a little real wealth?

I want God's real wealth but I have to continue fighting a spiritual battle for my heart to get it. The battle is tiring and at times, I simply lose. I give up even. Today the battle starts anew. Most Holy Lord, give me strength and courage and wisdom to defeat the demons that attack me today. Let me live in your wealth, Lord.