Relevance

I am often confused by the term "relevant" because it so often seems what is relevant to one person is not at all relevant to another. I had a discussion the other day with a friend about what people are looking for from a church, what is relevant to them. It's a question that has been in my head for some time now. In the Churches of Christ, one of which I attend, we have long held the tradition of having church on Sunday night and Wednesday night and for as long as I can remember the attendance has been significantly lower than on Sunday morning. I can imagine several reasons for that over time but today's biggest complaint is usually that those services are not relevant and I have had trouble understanding what that meant until a recent conversation I had with another friend who attends a different church. To paraphrase, he said he didn't want to be sitting around with a bunch of people acting religious, he wanted to be out doing what Jesus would be doing. He is a guy who will be at church every Sunday morning and believes the worship time is a very special time and something he will always be active in but the rest of the week he wants to devote himself to study and to serving others. Service to him is more relevant than sitting in a class a couple of nights a week.

I know these ideas can open up a can of worms with people but the idea of service to others is not one that can be debated, not one that can be ignored and is certainly one of relevance. So is the fact that what is relevant to one person is not always relevant to another and our church leaders need to be aware and helping secure opportunities for all members to serve God.

There is much left for me to think through on this and I hope no one will take this as my definitive stance. This is my blog and my space to post my thoughts, many of which are half-baked at any given time. For me, writing my thoughts is my best and easiest way to start thinking through them so share this time and space with me. My challenge for me and for you today is to think about how you are serving God and how you are making yourself relevant in the pursuit of His glory.

Cellphonelessness

My cell phone quit on me yesterday. I was loading an upgrade to the software, followed all the rules, and when it was done there was no service. I called tech support to no avail. I've been with Sprint for several years and keep contemplating a change because Sprint has delivered the absolute worst customer service on a consistent basis that I can imagine. It's difficult to get anything done and I don't remember ever calling and having to speak to less than 3 people to find out they couldn't or wouldn't do what I was asking.

My only quandry at the moment is how long to go with the "broken cellphone" theme. It's a step back in time to a more peaceful era and I kind of like it.
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Basketball season is cranking up - my favorite time of the year. I have a draft for my 6th grade team tonight. I'm playing on a church team that starts games next Tuesday. The high school team has their first game next Tuesday, college basketball is getting rolling and the pros (not real basketball in my mind) have already started. I think I've already watched more pro games this year (3) than I did all of last year so I'm ready for the college season to get started in earnest. I can't wait for March Madness.

Who's your favorite team?

Consensus

I have been serving on a committee for the school district looking at the current facilities and preparing to make suggestions for what needs to be considered for the next 5, 10, 15 years. There have been 20-30 people at each meeting and it's been interesting to watch and listen to other people's perspectives when we went to a facility. Everyone can be looking at one thing and seeing many different things but there was one place we visited that people either seemed to see black or white - the football stadium. I missed the big powwow Monday night where the final recommendations were made but heard that when it came to proposing a new football stadium, there were definitely two different camps.

The hope for our group is that we would reach a consensus, not a majority rule but a consensus where we could make a recommendation that all might not agree with but there was some common ground. It sounds like that happened with the football stadium...down the list aways...with plenty of reservations. It will be interesting to see how it turns out someday down the road.

Yet what struck me was the idea of consensus. An idea of agreeing to find common ground. It might require compromises, adjustments, modifications but it's the idea of working together to get to a common point - not my point or your point but a common point - that struck me about this exercise and this group.

I enjoyed my time on the committee, saw things I hadn't seen before and met some people I didn't know. It was a good experience and I hope to see the recommedations come to fruition because most of them will certainly enhance the academic experience and opportunities for our children. Secretly, I hope we get a new stadium too.

Going Home

I head back home today and I'm ready. I miss being with my family and I'm ready to get back to them. It's really cold today. The high is going to be 42 and with the wind, it will feel more like 35.

I went to see American Gangster the other night, not realizing it was 3 days long. I had mixed feelings but in the end wasn't overly impressed. Both characters were flawed in opposite but similar ways but the storyline had a hard time of really exploring the characters. It was part action and part narrative, never really developing much traction on either side. On the other hand, it was interesting to see what both people went through and provoking some thought on how they got to where they were.

Speaking of movies, the keynote speaker at our conference with Chris Gardner who the movie Pursuit of Happyness was about. He was interesting and he told a good story, was funny and sobering. I can't imagine living the life he went through but it does show what hope can do for you. One of the interesting things I learned was that his son was only 14 months old when they were living on the street. The movie version has an older child because, as Gardner said, 14 months old don't carry much of a dialogue. There were a few other differences but nothing significant and Gardner says they are considering a sequel.

No others thoughts of interest (as if the above was) so I'm off for a shower, a very cold stroll and a haircut before getting the bags packed and heading out.

I Love The Big City

I really enjoy coming to Chicago. It's a great place to be...for 3-4 days anyway. I find it an interesting place compared with Decatur. All the people, the houses jammed together, the greenspace for the dogs that are couped up in apartments and condos and the people picking up the dogs mess in a bag, the shops on Michigan Avenue, the frenetic pace of people going here and there, the street performers...and the food...yummy. I feasted at Gino's East Pizza last night. Chicago pizza is my favorite and Gino's does it really, really well. I want to eat at Gibson's before I leave but don't know that I'll make it this trip but it's one of my favorite places to sink my teeth into an incredible steak.

I'm surrounded by this mass of humanity and I wonder how many know God. I wonder how many have the same hope that I have, the joy in a Savior that I have. I hope the number is much bigger than I think but I hear their conversations and get a sense of their direction and it makes me wonder. Maybe I'm walking a mission field, I don't know.

I do know this. The Republicans are not poised to win in Chicago. In the elevators, on the street, in the hotel lobby all I hear is Obama, Obama, Obama with some Hillary thrown in. Not one good word about Bush which seems to be the new synonym for Republicans.

I'm off to class...and then back into the mass of humanity.

I Thought Baseball Just Ended

I'm taking my baseball playing boy to Flower Mound tonight to try out for a team. It's getting harder and harder to put a competitive team together in our small town so we are hitting the road to see what options are out there. The deck is stacked against him. He's trying out for a team that has been playing fall ball while he's been taking it easy. They are in Flower Mound and the coach is already hesitant I'll make the haul on a regular basis.

I think he's ready though. I've asked several times if he really wants to do this and he affirms it each time. I just hope he will perform well and see improvements in his own abilities.
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We missed Halloween! It was a church night and by the time we got home, most trick-or-treating was done. The kids didn't seem to mind as both wanted to be at church anyway and I don't think the lack of all that candy will do us any harm. Still, it was odd not to be hauling them door to door to get their loot.
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I leave tomorrow for the Windy City. I ask for your prayers for safe travel and for my family while I'm gone.

Death Penalty

I heard on TV this morning that there may be a change on the Supreme Court's thinking on the death penalty. It's something I wrestle with a little because I've not been in the position of someone who has been a victim of one of the criminals that was subject to it. On the other hand, and I realize my position may knock me off the Republican Party Christmas card list, I am not a proponent of the death penalty. I just don't see where we have the right to choose if someone should live or die, that we have the right to take someone's life into our own hands. I can't reconcile Christ-likeness with the death penalty.

Do I think criminals should be punished? Definitely. I think there was probably some benefit to the chain gangs and hard, hard manual labor. Maybe some authorities didn't handle it properly but I think it's a much better alternative to the death penalty. When Clayton Williams ran for governor several years ago, one of his theme's was "busting rocks" which is what he wanted the criminals to do. I think he had a lot of support until he made a stupid comment about rape but his hard work for criminals seemed to strike a chord with many people.

I want feel bad to see the death penalty go away but I would like to see more stringent penalties for those offenders who might be in line for it.
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The Rockies-Red Sox series didn't go the way I wanted it to but it was a good example of momentum ruling the day. The Sox had it and the Rockies had been sitting still too long but it was still neat to see them make it that far. As for the Rangers...maybe next year.

A Late Start

I usually blog early in the morning but my day has been wacky so I'm running behind and to top it off, I really have nothing to say. I'm leaving Friday for a conference in Chicago. I enjoy going to Chicago and like to walk around and not need a car for a few days. I had hoped my wife was going to be able to join me but several things going on around here will prevent that so it makes the trip a little less exciting to look forward to. Even so, I'll probably still pop in to the original Pizzeria Uno, eat at ESPN Sportszone for my son and finish off my time there at Joe's Stone Crab. Things may change but it's good to have dreams of eating good!

The rest of the time I'll be at an accounting software conference. I'm not sure I can imagine anything sounding more boring but I'm sure there is. I'm considering trying to get tickets to a Bulls game but the luster of seeing them has diminished over the years. I've also thought of dropping in at Truefitt & Hill and getting an old-fashion shave and haircut. The Apple store will be a definite stop and maybe the Orvis store too. I think there is a theater near my hotel so I might catch the new Denzel Washington movie one night.

I'll be alone but I think I'll find a few things to keep me occupied. It's good to have plans.

16:38

My daughter was able to run in the district cross country meet as it was moved up to Friday. She has struggled with the early morning practices and has appeared to waver at times on whether it is something she wanted to do. I have absolutely no idea if she will run again next year but Friday was a wonderful day. She ran the course in 16 minutes and 38 seconds! It was her best time ever and a great effort over any of her previous times. I am so proud of her because she showed up with a goal of a time to beat (even asked me to help her make sure she was under that time) and then just blew her goal away. It was a great day for a mom and a dad and I trust it was a great day for my little girl too.

Way to go KoKo. You make me so proud and bring me great joy.

Just When You Think You've Seen It All

Here's my friend David and his alligator friend. Someone on the boat said alligator's don't have brains which is probably why the alligator kept chasing the lure even after it got hooked once or twice before David got it to the boat. I commented that I wondered if some fishermen were like alligators in that they keep trying to catch something that could bite their leg off. Oh well...it makes for a great story for years to come.

On the way to Salado today, I saw a church advertising their 30 minute worship. Ain't that grand? All you have to do is carve out 30 minutes for worship. I went to their website and it said they have 8-10 minutes of singing, 12-15 minutes of preaching and about 5 minutes for response (listed as praying and giving). That's pretty tidy.

At the risk of walking too far out on a limb, I'm going to suggest the way we "do church" is ineffective in some ways and we need to learn from churches that are doing some innovative things to grow in numbers, but more importantly, in spirit. Yet I tend to go in the opposite direction of the 30 minute worship. I get frustrated that we have to be efficient and keep our worship service within a designated time limit. I realize there are certain groups of people that have trouble sitting in one place too long but I also know there are some who complain only because they are not being entertained enough or because they don't feel they are getting enough out of the service. The focus is inward when it should be upward. The focus in on them instead of on God, on what they get instead of what they are giving. I know because I have been guilty. I have complained the sermon was boring or too long, the songs were too old and too slow. I'm guilty of focusing on what I want from worship instead of what God wants from worship.

30 minutes to worship. Have mercy on me Lord when I try to stuff you in a small box of time so I can go about my life. Help me God to have a soft and open heart and a desire to worship you with disregard to the world around me.

Reeling Them In

Hopefully, I'll be able to load a couple of pictures from my recent trip to Venice, Louisiana. It's a place where the road literally ends. There were 16 in our group, 11 of those from our church here in Decatur and we did have a good, if not tiring, time. The bedroom we stayed in slept 4 and there wasn't an inch to spare. While the sleeping accomodations aren't going to get 4 stars, the scenery at times was incredible. Wildlife was abundant and it was exciting and interesting to watch it unfold.

The first picture is one of the smaller redfish I caught. I was on a boat that was more serious about fishing than picture-taking so it's the only fish I caught I have a picture of. There were several of the fish we caught that had multiple spots on them but this was one of the "normal" ones. That's Spider fishing on the front of the boat. No one knows his real name.

The other picture is sunset on Saturday night. We were fishing in "Red Pass" where everyone was catching the big reds. It was the first time it was really peaceful on the water while we were there and a beautiful night on the water. (You may be able to click on the pictures to get a better view.)

It was good to get away but always good to be home. I have another trip to make in a week and while it's tough to get away, it's also good for my mind to step out of the normal routine once in a while. Now I'm off to Salado to visit one of our stores.

Fire and Water

I've watched with amazement at the news reports of the fires in California, the 800,000+ people who have been displaced and the damage that has been done. It's always heartwarming to hear the stories of good deeds done by strangers but so many people have lost their home and possessions. While those things are temporal in the grand scheme, I can only imagine how frustrating it is to have to wait out the fires while thinking about starting over.

On the other side of the country towns have run out of water. The drought in the southeast has finally taken all the water some people have access to and others are just days away from losing theirs. I wouldn't want to be in that situation either.

Praying for physical needs seems so selfish at times but people in both these situations need help, comfort and an end to their respective situations. I pray both get what they need.

Vision

I'm serving on a committee for the school district to look at needs of the district today and in the coming years. We have toured all the facilities and now will spend some time talking through what the priorities need to be for the next 5, 10, 20 years. As I've toured the schools, I've seen plenty of quick fixes that need to be made - carpet that needs to be replaced, signage that needs to be fixed, driveways and parking that need repairs. Along with those things, we are considering what facilities need to be improved or added to provide the best academic opportunities for our kids.

As we've worked through this process, it has struck me how important vision and the ability to cast the vision for the future is. Casting a vision is more than a slick marketing theme though that can be a part of it. Casting a vision really requires someone who can weather storms because there will be plenty of naysayers but the vision cannot grow dim. It's rather easy to figure out what needs to be fixed today but to think about what needs to be done for the future is a bigger battle.

My life is so similar. It's easy for me to focus on what I need to do today instead of spending some time preparing myself for the future. Day to day, I can fix little mistakes and postpone decisions but preparing myself for the future takes more thought, more work, more effort and...and the kicker is the payoff doesn't come for many, many years. Eternity is a long time and something that I can easily postpone thinking about while I wrestle with the mundane tasks of today. Yet, I need to cast my vision and start working on my future because it is the most important decisions I can make today.

Brrrr...

It's cold and rainy in Wise County this morning and I LIKE IT.

We made it back from the edge of the world, also known as Venice, Louisiana. It was a good trip overall but a very long one. After an all night drive and a day of fishing with lots of rain and soaking wet clothes, I was beginning to wonder what I signed up for. The next two days were much better and I caught some big fish. Beautiful reds and big speckled trout. I saw some beauty on the Mississippi River and I saw some devastation that still remains from the hurricane.

One of my boat mates, (I won't mention your name David Fuller...oops, I just mentioned your name) caught an alligator and tried to load it in the boat. I've got a picture I'll try ot load sometime this week if I can figure it out. While he was doing that, I was trying to figure out how to get as far away from the alligator as possible. There's nothing like fishing with the Decatur version of Crocodile Dundee.

Have a great day and bundle up.

Off and Gone...

I'm leaving tonight for a whirlwind fishing trip. I'm way too busy to go but I'm going anyway. I knew I had a lot to do but somehow preparing to leave has made me keenly aware of all I need to be working on. I won't be blogging for the next few days but hopefully can post a great picture next week of me with a really, really big redfish.
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A friend made the comment to me the other day saying "religious people scare me." I haven't gotten that out of my head because I wasn't sure I understood what he meant but the more I think about it, the more I think I understand. My friend is a broken person, broken by addictions and pain that I don't know. He's been preached at and told what he needs to do but he's in a place where he needs love through actions right now. He's still hurting as he recovers, hurting because the Devil won a battle with him, hurting because he hurt people along the way, hurting because he failed God. His battle back is learning that God still loves him, still cares for him and has shed grace over him. My friend loves God but is at a point where he needs people who are real, who are open that they are just as fallible, that they struggle with the same struggles.

I think I scare him. I go through life sometimes like I've got it all together. I handle missions work, I handle work work, I somehow get stuff done but inside I feel like I'm hanging on by a thread. I think at times I look like one of those religious people that scare him. Yet I'm no different than my friend. I've lost battles to Satan, I've failed God and I've failed people I love. I've hurt them and I live with the pain of that hurt. The only thing, the one thing that can keep me going is knowing that God loves me. There's no doctrine, there's no right way or wrong way to do church, there's no work I can do that helps me...only God's love pulls me out of the sinking sand.

I don't want to be a religious person. Instead, I want to be a Christ-person. I want to live in Christ-likeness. I want to be the hands and feet of my Savior. I pray God will show me the way.

Living As Light

I was a part of an event recently that got me thinking about people who live outwardly (the appearance of a Christian) as Christians and people who live inwardly (having a Christ-like heart) as Christians. While I was being judgmental towards some people I saw that appeared to be living outwardly it got me to thinking that while I can easily look at them and make a determination of what I think or feel, it's not so easy to look inside Jeff and see what is going on. It reminded me I need to be focused on making judgment of my actions, I need to be focused on making judgment of my thoughts and feelings.

I live far too much living outwardly as a Christian but not living inwardly as I should. I do things I'm supposed to do most of the time but my heart and mind are not where they should be. I want to love God and live for God. I want to be a light and be Christ-like. To do so, I need to be sure I am walking in Christ's footsteps and not worrying about what someone else does. I need to be sure my heart and soul and strength are focused on Him, not someone else.

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.

A Great Day

Yesterday was Missions Sunday at church. Our missionary from Brazil is here and he along with some others made presentations about the missions work we support. The big part of the day for me was the special contribution. We have some specific needs we hoped to address for some of our missionaries and set a goal of $20,000 for the day. This was on top of our regular contribution and while I felt confident we would hit our goal, I felt it would be close.

I was standing next to one of the finance guys when he turned the adding machine towards me so I could see the total of $48,000+ and it took me a couple of seconds to make sure my eyes were adjusted properly. With a pledge of $1,000 to be paid in the coming year, we hit nearly $50,000 and I would guess a few more checks will roll in. Incredible.

God is amazing and He is good. He provides in abundance.

Yesterday was a great reminder to me of what can happen when we trust God to give us what we need.

Rivalries

Tonight is the Battle of Big Sandy, the annual football showdown between Decatur and Bridgeport. Decatur has been dominant the last several years but most are expecting a close game tonight. I grew up with the Robert E. Lee/John Tyler rivalry, one that was bitter at times and ended up in physical violence more than once. The stories I could tell...but my mom reads this sometimes so I'll just move along...

I forget what year of high school I was in when the John Tyler building was seriously damaged by a fire. Most of the classrooms were lost and there no place could be found that would house their students except-----the Robert E. Lee campus, the home of the enemy. The two schools shared the campus with Lee students coming early and leaving earlier (class periods were cut a little shorter) and John Tyler students coming around noon or a little later and going through the afternoon. Ribbons were tied around trees and banners were hung to welcome the John Tyler students to the Lee campus.

It was a time where people from two places came together and shared what they had. It was a community taking care of it's members who needed something. It was people working together the way God intends for us to work together.

Our church has a special focus on giving of our time right now. Give 60 is the theme and people are encouraged to give 60 minutes of their week to helping others. I remember that time in high school where we came together and it felt good to know we were part of making a positive difference. It still feels good today to help others. Whether it be our rivals, people we don't know or someone we do know, it feels good to help. I think God wired us so that when we did good things we would feel good.

I don't know where I'm going with all of this other than to say two things. First, I encourage you to find ways to give and help others. In doing so, you help them, you help yourself and you encourage others. The second thing is GO EAGLES!

Running for Starbucks

My daughter did well at cross country yesterday with what appeared to me to be her best finish yet. She cut her time down in the first mile by 47 seconds over her previous best. It earned her a Starbucks Frappa-whatever. She did great.
Her district meet is the same weekend as the youth group retreat at Camp Deer Run. She's planning on going to the retreat. Her decision process surprised me a little. I've grown up being ingrained with doing what is best for the team. She plans to go to the retreat. I assume some of her reasoning revolves around the idea that she won't have to run at the retreat but her spiritual growth trip over athletic event decision tells me something about her...something I am proud of.
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My son is taking band at school and playing the clarinet. It's not what I would have envisioned for him but today he was practicing before we left for school and playing the theme from Jaws, the movie from the 70's. It was pretty cool to hear him putting it together and then talking about learning all the different notes. I think he will be a child who blazes his own trail and I look forward to seeing where it takes him. He's a good boy.

How 'bout them Cowboys?

My remote was smoking last night from the continuous flipping between the Cowboys-Bills game and the Indians-Yankees game. It was good to see the over-hyped, over-priced Yankees go down in flames to a team most people can't name more than 1 or 2 players that are on it. Then, to see a rookie kicker boot a 53 yard field goal (he had to kick it twice because of a last milli-second timeout by the Bills coach) was just plain fun. Romo had an awful game and I'm still not sure how the Cowboys hung around and won. I know this, if they don't play better next week, they will get slaughtered. But for today, it's all about Nick Folk and his great leg. He's the hero today.
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Happy Birthday to Rick Ross today. I'm guessing he will celebrate by trying to recover from his State Fair eating tour yesterday.
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My daughter ran in the Decatur cross country meet last Saturday. It was a very, very, very tough course and I don't remember seeing as many kids walking during the race as I did Saturday. It was brutal and while she didn't finish high, she did finish the most grueling course I've seen. I'm proud of her for her effort and the heart she continues to show when finishing the race.
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Where's the caffeine?

This muggy Monday morning has me feeling like I need a double dose of coffee through an IV. The idea of laying my head down and dozing off sounds very enticing this morning.

My wife and kiddos are headed to the State Fair of Texas. I'm battling mixed emotions - glad to avoid the crowds but wishing I was going to see the sights and eat some corn dogs. I'm looking forward to the report from my wife who has fried guacamole bits on her mind. My son wants to ride the ferris wheel and see the Cooperstown exhibit (the biggest reason I wish I was going) and my daughter...I just hope she will get out of the car and go in. I pray they have a safe and very, very fun trip today.

My 7th/8th grade Bible class yesterday discussed the parable of the lost coin. I hid a quarter in a Bible and asked them if they would look for lost money the way the widow did in the story. They rummaged about the room and one or two even looked at the Bible the quarter was in but they were not invested enough in the lost coin to look hard for it. To me, God's investment in us is the beauty of that story. He loves us so much that He gave His son for us. The lesson I walked away with is that I need to have a much greater passion for finding His lost coins, the people who need a relationship with God but have been lost. I can't casually glance around for them, I must be keenly aware of finding them. I pray today my eyes are opened to the lost coins that God so strongly wants to find.

Leadership

Good leadership is something that is easy to appreciate and hard to find. Leadership takes intention and practice. It takes perseverance and patience. It requires building relationships and building people.

I have taught a leadership development course and through it realized how much I need to do to scratch the surface of decent leadership. I have watched people be willing to lead but fail because they didn't know how or didn't commit to what is required. I have watched people become leaders without intending to but the way they conduct themselves made people want to follow.

I'm reading some books on leadership now. By virtue of my position at work, I need to become a better leader and studying how to do so is important to me. Studying it opens my eyes to some people through history who have been leaders and it is fascinating to learn more. Last night, I was reading a brief passage on Theodore Roosevelt and now I want to know more about him. He worked hard to achieve certain things in his life and in doing so, led and inspired many, many others.

I do appreciate leadership in it's many forms. In the class I taught, the earliest premise was "wherever two or more people are gathered, someone will be the leader." I wanted to make everyone aware that in our company, whether someone worked in the executive office or the shipping department, there was an opportunity for leadership and someone would take it...for better or for worse.

I don't know where I'm going with my thoughts today other than writing what has been on my mind this morning. I hope today I will become a better leader than I was yesterday.

Roast Beef

I love the roast beef story. It goes something like this; new bride cooks roast and new husband asks why she cut the ends off before she cooked it. "That's the way mom always did it" comes the response. New husband gets new wife to call mom who tells new wife that Grandma did it that way. New wife calls Grandma and asks why and Grandma tells her the oven was too small for the big roasts she bought so she had to cut the ends off.

I get in a habit of doing things the same way because that's the way they were always done. I have two meetings today that are about looking for ways to do things better, not just the way it's always worked. My hope is that we will find better ways that bring improvement but even if we don't, maybe a paradigm shift will bring new enthusiasm for a better tomorrow.

Surprise...NOT

My honey passed her big test. Hooray!!!!! I knew she would do it and I think she knew she would do it but she was still nervous. It's a big deal to get that behind her and all that is left should be smooth sailing.

I don't know what she will end up doing once the student-teaching is over but she has done an amazing job in each step of this endeavor. She's been a great example for the kids of dedication to accomplishing an achievement.

You go girl! You've done great.
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Roger Egle is a friend that I've coached baseball with. His dad had heart transplant surgery Monday night. I ask you to say a pray for the Egle family and I will post an update when I hear one.
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Speaking of prayers, add Jerry and Anna Nicholas to your prayer. Jerry is battling cancer again and it's been been tough the last few weeks. Jerry has been such an incredible example of faith and courage to so many as he has dealt with cancer. His outlook on life and what awaits him after this life speak volumes about the heart of this man. I'm praying that God will take away this cancer because I need the encouragement I get from him. Pray for Anna too as she fights the battles right next to him. They are a beautiful couple and I am glad I know them.
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I spent a good part of Monday beginning to plan for our trip to Brazil in 2008. I'm excited to go back and wish I could go before next June. I love the people and even though it's 90 degrees in the dead of winter, I am so uplifted by the love and friendliness of our Brazilian friends.

Ciao.

A Day Away

I'm headed to Dallas today (pain and misery) to take part in a seminar as a panelist. The actual seminar is tomorrow but we have rehearsal this afternoon. It will be webcast to CPA's around the country. A good friend is the moderator and I agreed to help many, many months ago. Today, I wish I could find a way out because the content has changed and I feel like I'm lost in the topic but they still want the "small business" perspective.

I'll be taking a keyboarding vacation tomorrow in lieu of the seminar unless I can get out of it. One of the panelists had to back out yesterday because of an emergency who was going to be my counterpart - he being from big business. Maybe they'll drop the business guys and I can stay in Decatur.
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I sat in on our auditorium class last night and heard a discussion of the Holy Spirit. We ended on the passage (Romans 8 I think) that says the Holy Spirit intercedes in our prayers with groans and the discussion ended with what groaning by the Holy Spirit means.

I'm sure there is a better answer than mine but I told the class leader that I was confident my prayers are often so confused on what I really need to say that the Holy Spirit groans thinking "what is this boy saying? I'll take over for him." I'm thankful God gives me help to live and help to talk to Him. I know He understands me even when I'm not understandable. I want to know how to pray better, to talk to God in meaningful ways. I'm thankful that even in my inability to do that, He really hears what I want to say, He knows what is on my heart, He sees through my sin to my desire to serve Him.

When I Can't Catch My Tail

I feel like I'm going in circles again, chasing my tail that I know I will never catch. It's days like these when the resounding thing I hear is "Be still and know that I am God."
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My girly-girl has another cross country meet today. They run through a pasture in Alvord. There's nothing like cross country in Wise County. The Alvord team is always good. They are 2A but run against 5A schools all the time and typically do well. I hope Decatur does good today but I'm really hoping my little girl runs her best.
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Randy Warzecha, our missionary in Brazil arrives in Decatur today. I am looking forward to seeing him because he is one of my heroes. A quiet, very humble man with a passion to share the Good News. He brings his new wife, Angela, a native of Brazil. I'm sure it will be a shock to her being in the U.S. She comes from a small village where the houses are about the size of our garage. She speaks very, very little English and will spend a little over a month in our country. It was odd spending a week in Brazil with 30 other English speakers but I can't imagine what it would be like spending 6 weeks in a country where I didn't speak the language.
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The Rangers wrap up the home schedule today. Here's hoping for a win to close out a season that has been less than glorious.
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It's Casa Torres night. I'm already hungry.

Have a great day! God bless.

A Love So Deep It Hurts

My heart is aching today. I acted badly with an angel today and it hurts. It's an ache that won't easily go away, won't easily be forgotten, won't easily be overcome. I am struggling with my child, struggling to know when to speak and when to shut up, struggling to know when to help and when to let go, struggling to know what to do and what not to do. It's frustrating and today was a breaking point. I lost my temper, a temper I have transferred to her unfortunately. I said things I wish I could un-say, acted out in ways I wish I could un-act. Yet it is done. It's forged in her memory and mine. It hurts.

I hope she sees it is simply the devil that got ahold of me. I hope she sees the hurt, the physical and mental pain that giving into evil causes me. I hope she sees the grace of God that is my only hope. I hope she will forgive me but yet I know it's a moment etched in her mind, a picture of her father I don't want her to see. It's not a picture she would see from her Father God.

I hope it will be her opportunity to get a glimpse of God, of forgiveness and grace. If she can learn that, it will simply be another victory of God over Satan on earth and it will take her farther than anything else I could teach her. I know my actions today may have shaken the foundation of our love but I hope she will know and see in future days that no matter what I do, God loves her completely. I do too, I love her with such depth but I don't always show it. Yet it is that love for her that causes me so much pain today - to know I have hurt her, to know I have shown her a glimpse of the devil at work.

I am suspending comments today because all I ask from you is a prayer. Pray that my family sees God in me and pray that His spirit of reconciliation and peace is quick.

Edit: I just finished reading a couple of blogs - one where a family lost their 13 year old son and one who has a son that has been near death with an illness but appears to be on the road to recovery. I thank God that I have the opportunity to be with my children another day and will do my very best to remember that each day I have them is a gift from above.

How 'Bout Them Cowboys

I thought the Cowboys had a chance to win the game last night but didn't expect them to take over the game the way they did. Chicago's offense stinks and there is no way the defense can play more than they are being asked to and hope for much better but I have to say the Cowboys have a potent offense. Romo is certainly over the Seattle fiasco and TO is being quiet and playing ball so far. As a psuedo-Cowboy fan, it was a fun game to watch. And going for it on 4th and 3? Wow.
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I wasn't too impressed with the race at Dover yesterday. I don't like short tracks and there were way too many wrecks and malfunctions to make it a race. It was more like a Survivor episode.
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I had a sizeable lead in my fantasy football game yesterday until the Cowboys played. I had the Bears defense. My opponent (Craig) had Marion Barber and Jason Witten. He's now 19 points behind me and has Drew Brees playing the mighty Tennessee Titans defense (ha-ha) tonight. It's going to be a nail-biter.
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Decatur lost their homecoming game last Friday but made it a good game. It seems they are improving every week but it's not going to be a picnic through district this year. Maybe some close games will be fun to watch too.

She Ran

The cross country meet went well and my little angel improved her performance over last year. My favorite part was the last 400 meters or so. As she came by, I shouted for her to pass the girl in front of her. She held up 3 fingers indicating she was going to pass 3 of the girls in front of her. I think it ended up being 5 or 6 and she definitely improved on her finish from the same meet last year. Way to go!
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The Texas Rangers season is coming to another painful end. Last night's loss insured a losing season. I remember going to the games in April and May with hope and have ended the season missing the last two games and not finding anyone who even wanted the tickets. I want to be a fan but it's hard to have to drive an hour and see one loss after another. They barely make the local news now that the Cowboys are 2-0. Sad. The manager and GM have both been given extensions but I have a feeling that if significant improvement isn't made next year, they will be gone.

I'm starting to feel the same way about remaining a ticket buyer.
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It's homecoming for Decatur tomorrow. Huge mums. Queens contest. Packed stadium. I hope the football team can raise their level of play. They have struggled this year compared with prior years and I'm hoping they are in the process of putting it all together for a great run through district. It will be a big Friday night.

Run Girl, Run

Today is the first cross country meet for my daughter. It's in Ponder and not her favorite course (just listening to her description can be a bit funny) but it's the first one so it's a good one in my book. She loaded up on cookies for all her friends so they should be on a sugar high when they take off.

It's amazing to watch her run. When she sprints the last several yards, it's the best because her long legs really get going and she covers some ground. It will be a 2+ mile run...something that would put me in the hospital. I'm excited to go watch her today.
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I got a message early this week that one of my friends from college was killed in an auto accident last weekend. It's too early for this to be happening. Mack leaves a wife and two kids and a lot of people who loved him. As the Sub-T (for those not familiar with Sub-T, it is a fraternity type organization at ACU where I attended college that was often credited with things not in keepng with the schools desires) email wire cranked up, I was struck that the one thing that kept flashing in my mind was the smile that was almost permanent on Mack's face. He brought happiness to many people.

Each year, Subberville is a reunion held in different locales - Abilene of late - and each year they play golf. Starting in 2008, the golf tournament will become the Mack Dennis Memorial Golf Tournament and proceeds will go to a scholarship fund for his kids.

May God grant them peace.

OK, I've Got To Brag A Little...

My wife had our first observed teaching day at school last week. A lady from the Region XI program she is going through came out to watch her work through a class period and grade her on how she did. IT WAS GREAT! She got positive marks across the board. I have to say it was no surprise to me that she did well but I think she was a little nervous going into the day and didn't expect the number of high marks she got. I'm so happy for her and so very proud of her.

I know she will be a wonderful teacher if that is what she chooses to do. She is already wonderful in many, many other ways.

The Beauty of Children

We hosted about 30 3rd-6th grade kids from church at our home last night to eat, play, sing and fellowship. It's fun to turn kids loose for about an hour and watch what they do. Several went and played a game with a football, others jumped on the trampoline, some went to see the llamas next door and others sat in a group and talked. Some were loud, some were quieter but they all seemed to find joy in what they chose to do. They weren't burdened with paying bills, juggling multiple projects and things that needed to be done. In fact, they seemed completely unburdened and 100% involved in the moment. It was a beautiful sight to watch and enjoy.
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I hear the Cowboys won again. I had to leave early for a meeting yesterday and they had just scored a go-ahead touchdown when I was walking out. I'm glad they are winning but I don't think they've played very good teams yet.

I watched some of New England and San Diego last night and NE was dominant. Cheating or not, they are winners.

TO and Randy Moss have been exemplary after two weeks. I wonder how long it will last?

Safety

How safe are you? How safe is your family? It's something I don't think about too often because I generally have a feeling of safety. Something happened yesterday that raised that question for one of my children and the feelings inside of me surprised me. Thoughts ran through my head of "if they hurt my child, I will..." and some of those ideas of what I would do were a little scary. I'm not surprised that I would rise up to defend my child but how quickly and how hostile I went from being a pretty laid-back guy to being ready to go on the offensive. If someone hurts one of my children, what will I do? How far will I go?

As I prayed about it last night, I also begin to think about how God feels when Satan tries to hurt us. How offended is He? How far will He go to defend us, to fight for us? I know God has a much better grip on defending and protecting me than I do on defending and protecting my children. I know God isn't thinking the same thoughts of "what will I do" if someone hurts me like I had if someone hurt my children. God sees so much more than me, understands so much more than me, cares for others so much more than me.

I pray in everything I am forced to deal with, I will look for God's will and design. Afterall, my safety isn't in anything I can do or control but only in what God has already done through Jesus. My safety isn't for here and today, it is for eternity.
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The funeral for our family friend I mentioned a few days ago is today. I won't be able to attend but the Ferguson family is on my mind. If you would, please say a little prayer for that family today and in the day's to come. Their loss is hard but their comfort will be in Molly's love for the Lord and her devotion to Him.

Nothing Today

I'm out of thoughts.
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Are the Rangers still playing? I haven't heard much about them since football season cranked up. It's the sad reality of a team playing below what they should be able to do. I have tickets to games that I can't give away. Sad.
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I heard ESPN ranked the Cowboys as the 5th best team after the first week of play. They are ranked right behind...Da' Bears...who lost their opener to San Diego. Go figure.
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I wasn't really aware of the hurricane that was supposed to hit the Texas coast this morning. I've seen graphics but haven't listened, instead only interested by seeing our temperatures go below 90.
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Another blog I read asked the question yesterday, "what song is stuck in your head?" Since the blogger is one of the very, very few who respond here (is anyone really out there?) I won't expect an answer from him but leave the question for the rest of you to ponder. I really ask only so you will start thinking about the song in your head even more than you already were.
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It's going to be a busy day so I'm off to the mill...

Unexplainable

Yesterday, we lost a close friend of our family. She was a woman as good as gold, a friend to everyone and a servant to all. She died tragically in a house fire created by an explosion of some sort. They are still trying to find out what caused the explosion but it is one of those times when I can't help but wonder why someone so good died in such a horrible way. It doesn't make sense.
Molly Ferguson was a good and virtous person. Her death makes no sense but the people who know her know she is with God today, living a new life that is certainly more beautiful, more peaceful, more glorious than anything we can imagine on earth. She was a good and faithful servant, she ran the race and today is receiving her reward.

Up Early and Running

I love to brag on my kids. They are something special to me and I am pretty sure they are angels God sent to make my earthly life more joyful.

My son is in the band this year and brought his "instrument" home last night and gave me a run down on the names of the different parts. He's excited to be learning notes and how to play and it's amazing to see his excitement for it. I'm so proud of him for trying new things with gusto.

My daughter is working out for cross country and we are getting up at 6:00AM on Tuesday and Thursday mornings plus her regular workouts the other days. This morning I pulled up next to her while she was finishing her run and she took off sprinting. It's a beautiful thing to see her long legs striding out when she kicks it in.

I am so proud of them and I hope they are proud of themselves.

Audacious

Yesterday, my 7th and 8th grade class discussed compassion. I believe the world has seen far too little compassion from Christians. I used to read a local blog and anytime something came up about a church, there were several comments running down Christians for their lack of concern for people. It seems many people hear us arguing over disagreements and don't see us taking care of those in need.

My class curriculum made 3 points. First, be ALERT to people in need - look for opportunities. Second, be ATTENTIVE to those people - do something to help them. Finally, be AUDACIOUS in what you do. I asked the class if they knew what audacious meant and one young lady responded "shamelessly bold." Wow! What would happen if we were shamelessly bold in helping others, in sharing compassion? What would the world see? Jesus. The world would see Jesus if we were shamelessly bold in our compassion for people. The world would see the body of Christ in action.

I believe doctrine is important. I believe teaching the message the Bible teaches for salvation is important. I believe that living as Jesus lived is important. I convict myself that I have spent too much time discussing things that matter without living the things that matter. I convict myself that I have stood on doctrine without reaching out with compassion. Oh, but how I want to be different in the days ahead. If we are the body, if I am the body, I need to be more Christ-like to people who are lost and hurting and need to know someone cares.

I challenged my class yesterday with some specific opportunities they brought up. I believe the younger generation today is much more open to being compassionate, to being audacious in their efforts to pick up the hurting than my generation. I challenged them because they encourage me and their actions will challenge me to be audacious, to be shamelessly bold in sharing compassion.

Go Ahead and Fall

Fall is hear. Texas plays TCU tomorrow. The NFL kicked off in earnest last night. High school footballers are getting ready to bang heads for the second week in a row tonight. The weatherman says cooler weather is coming our way. I really enjoy the fall and as much as I like football and so much of fall, the cooler weather is what really, really makes me a happier person this time of year. _______________________________________________________________

We are hosting the high school youth group Sunday night at our house. I've been privileged getting to know more of our church youth, first through our mission trip to Brazil and then through teaching, and I really enjoy being around them. As with any group, their personalities run the gamut from the loud and boisterous to the quiet and shy. What strikes me about so many of them is their heart. I have seen acts of kindness that surprise me but more than that, they encourage me. I look forward to spending more time with them on Sunday.
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Have a great weekend! Hook 'em Horns!

Leadership

We started a new class last night on leadership, specifically spiritual leadership. Leadership is easy to talk about but, in my own life at least, much harder to model. I enjoy studying it and learning how to be a better leader because I have been put in positions of leadership. Being the leader isnt' something I aspire to, in fact my personality easily allows others to take on a leadership role, but when I am needed to lead, I want to be prepared to do the best I can.

One of my favorite books is titled "The Servant" and is a study of leadership modeled by Jesus. It's a look at what the author terms servant-leadership and it exemplifies the type of leader I want to follow and I want to be.

I pray our churches will raise up strong servant-leaders, people who lead not because they want the power but because they want to serve. I believe we are blessed as a church in Decatur with leaders who do want to serve. As I listened to one of our Elders last night talk about his fear of doing a poor job, it was apparent his biggest concern was whether he was serving others. That is the type of leadership mentality that inspires me because his concern isn't about his position or status but his concern is about his service.

I look forward to the remainder of this class and hope I can learn and then model better leadership, leadership based on the good and perfect example God sent to earth, leadership based on a Savior who came to rescue me from the power of evil, leadership based on the Christ who loves me.

Too Old For Late Nights

I was part of a late night fantasy football draft last night. We have a group from church that plays each year and we got a late start. It ended up being a bit after midnight before we were done. Ouch. We thought we would be done an hour earlier but technology isn't all it's cracked up to be sometimes.

I remember the days where staying up to midnight or a couple of hours later was no big deal. I could get up the next morning and function at a normal level. Nowadays, it's brutal. So, if you see me moving slowly today, I just might be sleep-walking.
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God is so good. I'm trying to learn to trust in Him. I've said it before that I have a strong desire to figure out a way to take care of my own problems instead of sitting back and trying to see what God has in store. I've been working to be better at looking for God and little by little I think I'm getting better at it. It has not been easy for me to let go and seek God in my little storms. I struggle with it daily, minute-by-minute it seems at times. Yet, the more I think about it, I think - I hope - I see improvement. I am confident God is guiding me through some things I'm battling now and my prayer is that I continue to learn to step back and let Him lead me.

Junk

I hope my sick friend got a foot long coney from Sonic on Sunday. I'm sure it's all he needed to get well.

We're trying to have our fantasy football draft tonight. So far, nothing is working the way we want it to. It's going to be messy I'm afriad.

The Rangers were getting smoked by the Royals last night when I finally turned the TV off. It's ugly to get beat bad but even uglier to be losing like that to the Royals. I can't give away tickets to the Rangers right now. Sad.

My son went to the lake yesterday with some friends and had a blast riding the tube. He had the biggest jump of anyone and it was funny listening to the description of his eyes as he went airborne. He slept hard last night which makes me wonder if we should get a boat.

We ate with some friends last night and the kids went out to play football. It's amazing watching them tackle each other and trying to remember how I used to do that. All I could think about last night was how bad that would hurt.

I think I've mentioned that I've taken up walking again thanks to my wife. She's been a great example and encouragement to me. I tore my calf muscle playing basketball a few months ago and the muscle still gets tight when I walk but I can tell there is improvement. Now, my ankles and knees are aching a little bit. I'm realizing I'm not 25 anymore. It's hard to accept but the shooting pain at 3 in the morning make it real clear. Still, I'm thankful I can do what I am doing.

I hope you are having a great day.

The Joys of Retail

I like my job and the people I work with but days like today are a beat down for retailers. While everyone else is off for the holiday, we are still open like any other typical day. We are lucky in that we have 4 observed holidays - New Years Day, July 4th, Thanksgiving Day and Christmas Day. Several retailers are starting to stay open most of those days as well. After doing this for 13 years, I'm thinking some holidays should be required to be observed. That way, I could sleep a little later every once in awhile. Then again, it only seems right to labor on Labor Day.

I hope you are enjoying your day off if you have one.

Friday Night Lights

The Decatur Eagles take to the football field tonight and the fall football season will be underway. I'm looking forward to being in the stands with family and friends, talking and laughing, and watching the Eagles. I'm ready for a fun night.
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Last night was an incredible night for Wise County Christian Counseling. A couple of people shared their personal stories that were incredibly touching. Good food and fellowship were just a side note to the powerful feeling in the air that lives were being touched. One of the most thought provoking comments to me was from Ty Lovell, the minister of Cornerstone Church. He said that WCCC isn't just helping people today but making a difference in the lives of generations to come. That was powerful stuff.
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It's a busy Friday and I'm quite sure I'll be putting in some hours over the weekend but I'm ready for the weekend. I hope you have a great one!

Money, Money, Money

Tonight I will be at a fundraiser for the Wise County Christian Counseling office operated by Beverly Ross. The WCCC has been such a blessing since Beverly opened helping many families and individuals get through difficult situations and complex issues they face. Beverly has a gift and ability and this work is certainly a ministry field for her.

The WCCC is a non-profit organization and tonight is a night geared to raising funds to help keep the doors open. While many clients can and do pay for their sessions, others who desperately need help simply cannot pay. That's one of the wonderful things about WCCC - the ability to pay is not a criteria for getting help.

I am prayerful that tonight is a successful night in raising funds. Even more, I hope it is another night that allows more people who want and will seek help the opportunity to get it in a caring, Christ-centered environment.
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My daughter started cross-country in earnest today. I delivered her to the school at 6:30. Wow. It is an effort for her to get up that early in the morning to go run, one I empathize with a great deal. I would much rather wake up around 9:00 in the morning and the last thing I'm thinking about when I wake up is running.

I'm proud of her. We talked last night about her potential and me pushing her to always do better. I tried, maybe unsuccessfully, to explain that I believe in my heart she can do anything she is willing to work hard for. She may never be the fastest runner or have the highest grades or be President of the United States but I believe she could do those things. What I really wanted her to understand more than anything is that I am so proud of who she is, overwhelmed by her intelligence, beauty and maturity.

She is a wonderful young lady and I don't want to push her too hard but I do want to encourage her to keep achieving more. I believe in her ability to do accomplish great things. More than that, I love her for who she is today.

Surviving Day 1

Everyone came through the first day of school relatively unharmed. My daughter had one teacher who didn't make the best impression because she was a bit strict on the first day. My son couldn't believe he had a spelling test on the first day. My wife made it through without much fanfare. I guess it was a good first day.
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I was walking last night and looking at the moon and the stars. The sky was pretty and I couldn't help but think about the beauty God puts around us. Too often, I'm going way too fast to see God's beauty but last night was a reminder that I need to see it amid the stress and rush of work and life. I need to look to God for control of my life and not at myself, to allow His beauty to be seen in me, to work in me. I maintain a good facade and look like I have it under control while inside I'm a whirlwind of turmoil. I want to strive to be a part of the beautiful, peaceful scene I observed last night, one created by the Creator and one made beautiful by the Creator.

A New Start

A new school year begins today. It seems like the last one was just letting out a few days ago. The police are out in force and loads of kids have their new school clothes on today. My son's school was videotaping kids getting out of their cars and I'm sure the range of responses will be humorous. My wife started her first official day of student-teaching for what will be a 12-13 week period.

It's a new beginning for each of them and my prayer today is that it will be a good beginning and that they will walk with God in all that they do.
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My son tried out for a baseball team over the weekend and didn't get selected. I could see the disappointment all over his face when I told him the bad news yesterday. He tried hard and the coach told me it was a tight competition but in the end they picked someone they felt would meet their needs.

I wanted to tell him about the heart of my son, the joy he brings to what he loves doing, the team-player that he is, the kid who always tries to pick up the spirits of everyone else, but none of that would have changed the coaches mind. I just hated to see the look on my son's face.

I'm hoping this will push him to work on some areas he can improve because it's a good lesson. I've told him the Michael Jordan story (cut from his 9th grade basketball team but turned out to be a pretty good player) and that in life, we all have to work to get past some things at times. I hope he will be encouraged and work hard for what he wants.
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Every day is a new start.

The End Is Near (End of the Work Week That Is)

I have a job that really doesn't end on Friday but it's still a mental hurdle that I always look forward to. Even though Saturdays rarely work out the way I envision them, I look forward to them. The idea of being at home with my family is always appealing.

When I think about an upcoming Saturday, it's usually a mixed bag of thinking I will either catch up on some missed sleep or get alot of things done around the house. My Saturday usually winds up somewhere in the middle where I don't get any additional rest but don't get much done either. Still, the idea of Saturdays are always a nice reprieve from the stresses of work.
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The Rangers are frustrating. 30 runs in one game and winning a double-header only to come home and play poorly against the Mariners. I remember going to the games in April with high anticipations. Today, I can barely give my tickets away.

On the other hand, there's new life for the Cowboys and the new drama begins. What will the season hold for Romo, Owens, Phillips and Jerry? I can't help but believe it will be another rollercoaster ride that's as much soap opera as football.
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I hope you have a great weekend and that your Saturday is filled with whatever you hope for.

Old Knees and Things Easily Forgotten

My knees hurt. My wife has been incredible in setting an example and encouraging me to exercise. I appreciate her so much. I'm eating a little better, feeling a little better and getting my blood-glucose control in better condition. Along with that comes a little pain. My knees have been the culprit of late, hurting through the night causing me to wake up in discomfort. I'm giving Motrin and Tylenol some business in helping reduce the pain but it's not 100% effective. Still, I'll learn to live with a little pain when I know the overall benefits of what I'm doing.
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Last night we heard a speaker talk about being prayer warriors. One of his comments struck a chord with me because it's something we all know to be true but too easily forget. He said, "Satan knows the power of prayer better than we do." Amen, brother. I know prayer works but just like the examples he used last night, I too often pray only when I'm scared or need something. I know some of that is Satan's work, pushing me to forget to talk to God at all times because Satan knows the power of prayer.

Let it be that God's people know the power of prayer and use it as a weapon against the evil forces day-by-day, minute-by-minute.

An Update

Last week, I blogged a bit about a gentleman we have hired who made a big mistake and has paid considerably for it. Because of the nature of what he did, I was concerned about how other employees might address him working here.

Today, I am happy to say that I have been pleasantly surprised by the hearts of some people who work here. I would guess there are some negative comments or feelings but I've asked and no one has heard anything. I suppose the majority have said nothing but the few who have spoken up to me have made a lasting impression. They have had comments of thanksgiving that he would get a second chance here, questions of what they could do to help him.

The responses were opposite of what I was afraid I would hear. I thank God for the people who have spoken up and the knowledge that God is with people through the storms.

School Daze

My wife started on a mission several months ago to get her teaching certificate. She decided at some point that being able to teach would be a good alternative if and when she needed to re-enter the workforce. She breezed through some college courses she had to take. She did great through the certification classes and tests she had to take. Now, she begins the third and final leg - student teaching.

After 13 years of being a stay-at-home mom, she is up and going to work. In some ways, it is similar to what she has been doing because she doesn't get paid to student teach! We both agree that it has been a blessing that she has been able to be at home with the kids and neither of us have any idea of when or where she might actually begin a teaching career. Yet today is a day of big change.

I am pretty sure she's a little bit nervous. The next 13 weeks will be very different than the past 13 years. I know she will go through student teaching with flying colors, there's no question in my mind. She's working with a friend of ours who is a veteran teacher and will be a great mentor for her. I am a little nervous too. Change is always a little unnerving yet she is working through it with a plan to accomplish this step of her goal.

I'm praying for her. Praying that she will have peace through all of this. Praying that she will find God's will through it. Praying that she can have a good influence on the adults and kids she will come in contact with. I know she will do this well and she will touch people in the process.

Spiritual Warfare

I seem to have a focus on spiritual warfare right now and I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because I'm seeing some of the demons people are fighting. Maybe it's because of some of the demons I think I'm fighting. The one thing I do know is that there is a battle and it comes in many forms. I heard a speaker the other night mention that we might be fighting the battle against drugs, alcohol, sex, pornography...and if we aren't fighting the battle against the "big" ones that are easy to see, maybe we are fighting it against pride or something we hide better.

Today, I know this. I am a broken sinner and the only way, the only way I'm going to win the battle is with God. I have trouble laying it all at his feet. I want to be in control, suggest ways I think the outcome would work best. I haven't figured out how to turn complete control over to God - yet- but I'm working on it.

So Much To Do

It's another one of those days. So many things I need to get done but other crises around the office are taking time from what I need to accomplish. It wears me thin after awhile and I am thankful the weekend is here...even though I will now need to work through some part of it. This week has been a mental grind and when that happens, it leaves a blog with little to say. I know you are sorely disappointed...or that you are thinking it's a blog that always has so little to say. :)
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As I prepare for my first mentally exhausting battle this morning, I cannot help but think of the message I heard Wednesday night. It was about Legion, the man filled with many demons and how Jesus drove those demons away. I know today there is a spiritual battle raging around me and I am praying that Jesus will drive the demons away. With the sound of His voice, they will be gone. I know I cannot battle the demons that invade my life on my own. I need the voice of my Savior to drive them away.
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I apologize for the down note of the blog today but I know this. I have asked God to walk beside me and no matter what comes my way, there is a better future ahead of me. I may find it in hours or days or years but the one thing I know is that it is coming. Hallelujah!

Justice

The days are getting harder. Tomorrow will be a day that I can't imagine yet. We are bringing in a brother in Christ who made a bad, bad mistake and he will pay for it forever. We are giving him a chance to start proving himself but I know there will be people who will not give him a chance. I understand their fear and concern and I don't know what to expect. Will people just shun him or will they call him names, will they gossip and start rumors?

I would ask for your prayers for this situation, that this time and place will be a light, that God will be allowed to work in hearts and lives and that He will be glorified.

When You Know You Are Getting Older

As I have gotten older, I've never really felt my age. I know how many years I have been around but still think I'm 10 years younger. However, I have noticed more things recently that remind me I'm not getting younger. Knees that ache at night after exercise, a torn calf muscle, a constant pull of things to be done and looking at the university publication where my class is creeping closer to the front and there are 20 years of graduates behind me. Yikes.

Something greater than all those, for me, is the mental pull to figure out what God has in store for me. I look back on the past 40+ years and see peaks and valleys, successes and failures, rights and wrongs and I wonder what my path is to come. I wonder how God will use me, what things from my past He will use as I go through the future, what tests are yet to come my way, how will I affect the people I come in contact with. Twenty years ago I was certainly thinking more about my career, a family to come and getting the "things" I/we would want. Today, I am much more focused on how God is using me and going to use me. Much of me wants to see the script, to know ahead of time what is to come but I know that is not possible. Instead, I approach the future with a mixture of fear and wonder.

I don't know how many years I have left on earth or what is to come but I do know this; my prayer is that whatever comes my way, I serve God and His desires above my own.

Rambling

My mind is a beehive of thoughts and none of them are complete. It seems like I have hundreds of things I need to do and don't know where or how to start with some of them. Maybe I should quit blogging and get to business.
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I saw something this morning that said a study of Abraham Lincoln's face reveals one side is shorter than the other side. Is that something people are really interested in?
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School is starting soon. In some ways it will be nice to be back in a routine. On the other hand, there is the mental problem of having to be somewhere. I think the kids are somewhat excited if only because they get to see their friends on a daily basis.
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We were talking with a neighbor last night about our kids staying inside so much. As I thought about it after the conversation, I played outside a lot, rode my bike all over the place and never worried about the bad people who might harm a child. We complain because our kids stay inside but then we don't let them get out much without us because of fear. It's sad that it is that way today.
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My 13 year old as taken to the texting life with her new phone. As much as I hated to get it and still wonder what kind of trouble will come from it, being able to stay in touch with her friends is a cool thing. The best in my eyes is that she is staying in touch with a friend whose family moved to Big Spring. They are out there in the middle of nowhere (we miss you) and she and her friend can keep "talking" to each other. Good stuff.

13

On this day 13 years ago my life changed dramatically, forever, and for the better. On this day 13 years ago, my wife and I woke up early and headed to the hospital where the birth of our first child would occur. On this day 13 years ago I remember the fear and excitement I felt. Fear for safety, for what changes would occur, for what I would do as a father. Excitement for the joy in seeing the miracle of birth, for what I would learn and experience with a child. On this day 13 years ago, I held a baby girl in my hands who wrapped one of her little hands around my finger. On this day 13 years ago, I held a baby girl in my hands who became wrapped around, over, under and through my heart.

My baby girl is growing up. She's a teenager now and she is on her way to becoming more than I ever imagined for her. She is beautiful, intelligent and insightful. She likes to sleep late and leave a mess in her wake. She is a young girl growing into a beautiful woman with a lot of grace and dignity but also with fears and missteps. She is not unlike many young women of her age, wanting to make her path and yet confused at times about which way to go. On the other hand, she is unlike many young women because she is my daughter and I see the beauty in her that only a parent can see.

My baby girl loves God and I love her because of it. She inspires me and makes me want to be a better father than I have been. She is a blessing that is beyond description.

Happy Birthday little girl. You are not so little anymore but you still have my finger, and my heart, in the grip of your hand.

Struggles

I can't seem to get off the treadmill of stuff that has to be done. No matter how fast or slow I go, it just keeps coming. The weight of it all is starting to weigh me down. Right or wrong, I'm finding myself in prayer more often asking God to help me, to help me find the way. I do not like these times. I feel so lost like someone so close to the shore but not able to reach it wondering when the waves are going to overtake me. It's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I know there are many others faced with the same feeling. I don't know any way out other than taking one thing at a time and asking God for guidance. I probably make things sound worse than they are. I say that because over the weekend, at least two sets of parents nearby lost their children in a car crash. Whatever I'm feeling today can be nothing like what they are feeling today. I cannot imagine the pain and wish no one else ever would.

In the end, I know this is temporary. Something much, much greater awaits me. The topic of heaven has popped up often in the last few weeks. I taught a class on it two weeks ago. It was again the topic last night at church and has come up in some other conversations. It has been good for me and has helped me set my thoughts on things above, on greater things. I look forward to heaven and I am more ready for Jesus' return today than ever before. All of my struggles, all of my problems, all of my issues will be gone because of the majesty of God. I look forward to heaven.

It's Late

Late for me to be blogging anyway. I was out yesterday to learn about the new Texas Margin tax on businesses, an income tax that isn't called an income tax. It's crazy. As individuals we always want industry to pick up more of the tax bill but in the end, the increase flows right back to us. What we need are fewer taxes...meaning less government waste...meaning a miracle.
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I've got the Friday mentality today. I'm waiting on 5:00 so I can shut down for the weekend. Of course, the myth of shutting down mentally and physically is just that, a myth. Maybe I'll sneak in a little extra rest at some point.
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We're going to play laser tag for my nephew's birthday party Saturday night. It's a fun game and I'm looking forward to zapping everyone.
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Speaking of birthdays, my baby has one coming up next week. Last night, we took her and some of her friends to Joe T. Garcia's to eat (yes, my little angel picked it out). She finally got her cell phone that she has long wanted. She held it for a minute looking at it and we could see her hands shaking.

It was a hard decision for me to give it to her but a conversation with a friend makes it much easier. He says he enjoys texting his kids 2 or 3 times a night when they are out with friends just to remind them he's around. He says it's been a great way to stay in touch with them using their way of thinking and technology.

Happy early Bday koko.

Passing Judgment

It's interview day. I am having to replace two people in my accounting staff and am spending much time going over resumes and now bringing people in to visit about the position and their qualifications. It makes me wonder about people. I have already talked to a few. There was the sweet young lady who couldn't get along with other family members and gets her feelings hurt if someone corrects her. There was another candidate who replied to an email that included our company URL but had no idea who we were or what we did because she didn't take the time to look. Today, I will visit with 3 and maybe 4 people passing judgment on whether they are qualified to work here. It is a mentally draining process and, if no one appears as a good candidate, it will make for a long day.
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Sponsors are dropping Michael Vick like a hot potato. Innocent until proven guilty? I don't think so and I don't blame the sponsors. Vick's potential involvement is a black eye to those who have paid him to use him image. In the end, I will be most interested to see what happens to his career. It seems the American public can easily forgive an athlete who had done wrong but can produce on the playing field. I'm not so sure Vick will be welcomed back but if he is, I would suggest he be sent to Cleveland so he can play with their endzone gang known as the dog pound.
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I'm out for a tax seminar tomorrow so no blogging will occur. Have a great day!

Getting There

The theme for the class I taught Sunday morning was one that was a little difficult because it is something that I fail to do. The theme of "I Can't Wait..." caused a few ideas to pop into my head before I read through the lesson to find that the idea was "I can't wait until Jesus returns." As a Christian, that is an idea I am intellectually aware of but don't really think about very often. I'm so caught up in what needs to be done at work, mowing, vacation, school and so on that I never stop to think about Jesus' return.

While mowing on Saturday and pondering the lesson for Sunday, a recurring thought was "Be still and know that I am God." I think if I found more time to be still with God, Jesus' return would be a more central, focused thought for me. I need to find the time, I need to make the time to be still with God.

When I was going to Colorado, it was all I could think about yet I really, really want to get to heaven but I think about so many other things.

"Be still and know that I am God."

I hear you Lord.

Home Sweet Home

It's good to be home. After too many days away from my wife and my children we all came back together Saturday night (the kids were with grandparents and my wife was in lovely Abilene). It was a wonderful evening that caused me to think about how much I appreciate the 3 of them and how important they are in my life.
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The funny comment of the day Saturday came from my daughter. The kids had been at my parents and we met between here and there at a restaurant for lunch. The kids were sitting next to each other when my youngest spouted off something to his sister and her comment was, "Shhhh, we're with dad now."
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I remember my mom always saying how good it felt when she got a compliment on her child. I always assumed it was because they came so seldom, they overwhelmed her. Anyway, she was passing along compliments about our children from some of her friends and I was so proud of my kids. I suppose parents always wonder what in the world there children will do when they are off and about. My kids make me proud.
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It's good to be home.

I'll Fly Away

I made it to Las Vegas without too many problems. Our plane was a hour late leaving and I was starting to think I was in for another long, long day. Fortunately, we got going and made it here to find...rain.

After getting settled in, we (3 of my co-workers) headed to Hoover Dam and took a tour. It's fascinating to think about the sacrifices that were made and the hard, hard work it took to build the dam. The highest paid worker was making $1.25 an hour - most were around 50 cents an hour.

Now, they are building a suspension bridge that will go over the Colorado River below the dam. It's incredibly high above the river and I cannot imagine the people who are working on it now. I certainly wouldn't want to be at the top and I wondered how comfortable I would be driving over it when completed.

We begin our training seminar tomorrow - 3 intense days. I'm taking all of my savings to the casino tomorrow night and try to build a college fund for the kids. Not really. I hope to catch a show Thursday night, either the Blue Man Group or Cirque du Soleil. If anyone has recommendations, I'm all eyes.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

I didn't sleep well last week and I'm feeling the effects of it today. The brain isn't churning much out (yes, I know some of you think that is the norm but it's worse than usual).

I watched the playoff of the golf tournament yesterday. It came down to the last hole of a 4 hole playoff and to the last putt. I'm not a fan of watching golf on TV but it was a good ending. Plus, there wasn't a football game, baseball game or race on.

This week will generate the talk about Barry Bonds breaking Hank Aaron's home run record. I don't know how people in baseball will handle it but based on what the talk has been so far, it won't be handled well. Will the commissioner be there? Will they finally use an asterisk in the record book? I wonder what would be happening if Barry was more media and fan friendly. Would the uproar be half as loud? For me, I think it's all about the image he has projected. He may not have hit that many home runs without steroids but others were taking them and not hitting that many so he definitely has some skill. Steroids have put a black eye on the game but the game let it happen.

Go Rangers! Will they trade Tex, Sosa, Gagne, Otsuka, Lofton? Cowboys camp starts tomorrow. Those stories should be enough to drown out the home run chase a little bit. I hope.

Here Today...Gone Tomorrow

A friend had their car broken into and some of the contents stolen yesterday. Theft is so frustrating because it comes into our secured space and takes something from us. When I lived in Ft. Worth, my truck window was smashed and contents stolen two or three times and it happened in my driveway while I was sleeping not too far away. I've known others who had their house broken into, even a deeper penetration of what we consider a safe place.

As we talked about the break in last night, I was reminded again that our stuff isn't really ours. It is, but it isn't. We have been entrusted with things but it can be taken from us in a instant. I take the dollars I work to earn and send them off to someone else for my house, my car, clothes, food, etc. Yet, a tornado could wipe away my house, a wreck could total my car, a thief could run off with all my clothes (he would need some big friends) and on and on. As much as I think my stuff is mine, it's only temporary.

Of course, I'm leading to the idea that we all have different abilities and the capability for different responsibilities and all of our efforts need to focus on the Creator and Giver of life itself. The only thing, the one, single thing we have is a gift in the form of His son, a Savior who has presented us with the only thing we really need. The cars and money and houses and stereos and everything else will be lost from us at some point but there is one thing we have been given that lasts. Yes, we can lose the gift Jesus gave us by ignoring it and turning away from it but if we will grasp it, hold it, cherish it, use it...it is ours to keep.

Amazing Grace

It's my favorite song. Many years ago I just loved to sing it. I remember it being one of the main songs I used when rocking my babies to sleep. As I have come to know grace, to feel it and understand it, the song remains my favorite. Before leaving for vacation, I went on iTunes and did a search for Amazing Grace. There were hundreds of versions by various signers and I started downloading. I think I have 11 or so different singers and versions of it. Ruben Studdard (one of the American Idol contestants) does a great version. Chris Tomlin and Jars of Clay both encapsulate the song with different arrangements that are beautiful. Willie Nelson lends his country touch and Bob Seeger and Arlo Guthrie really get folksy with the tune. The Dropkick Murphys put a rocking rendition together that is like nothing I've heard before.

My favorite by far are the Royal Scottish Dragoons. I'm not sure what Dragoons are but they play a mean bagpipe. I've told my wife when I have a funeral that I don't want much but I do hope she can find someone to play Amazing Grace with bagpipes.

It is such a blessing when we can recognize grace. I don't think I did for many years but I feel it in waves today. I've heard people say that those who have sunk the deepest may understand grace the most. I don't know if it's true or not but believe there have been times I've sunk deeper than I ever want to go again and I am confident that grace rescued me.

I'm so thankful for the grace of God. I pray I will never take it for granted, that I will rejoice in the healing power of it and that I will give it freely, as freely as God shares it with me.

The Week After

The week after a vacation always seems brutal to me. It seems I can be gone for a week but there is 4 weeks of work needing to be done. Yikes.

Next week, I head out for Sin City with 4 other employees to a seminar. It's one place I do not look forward to visiting. The crowds, the noise, the endless lights. Fortunately, we are actually going to be in another town nearby away from the Strip. I do plan to make another trip to Hoover Dam. I've been once and it is an incredible site. The lake is beautiful and the drive is scenic.

Last night I took in the new Harry Potter movie with my family. I certainly didn't understand all of it and the kids were a bit disappointed because of changes from the book (I haven't read the stories). Even still, it was an entertaining movie with special effects at every turn. I'm sure the costume and makeup folks have a blast during these movies.

Pain and suffering are on my mind this morning. I read a poem a father wrote about the son he lost this morning and it makes me hurt for him. I wonder about His relationship with God. I read the questions he has but can't imagine the pain and feeling that lie with those questions. I know so many others are feeling the same suffering and wondering where God is, what He is thinking. I think of the song "Blessed Be Your Name" and know I haven't walked through the depths of suffering so many others have. I pray that those who suffer will continue to seek God and in time, their suffering will be lessened. I don't know if it's possible because I haven't experienced the excruciating pain they feel, but I do hope for them. I do hope.

I Saw God

I love my vacation time in Colorado. It is a special time that gives me so many blessings.

I saw God in the peace of the river and the majesty of the mountains. I saw God in the power of a hail storm and the beauty of the sun setting over the mountains. I saw God in the quiet moments while listening to the sound of nature as well as in the noise of children playing and having fun. I saw God in the worship service on Sunday and in time spent in prayer.

I may be guilty of talking too much about the joy that abounds in the fishing and weather of my vacation and never really mentioning that one of the great joys is seeing the handiwork of my Creator. I love my vacation for so many reasons, one of the primary ones being that I slow down and see God.

I pray today that I will slow down and see God in Decatur as clearly as I did in South Fork. I pray that I will slow down so that others might see God through my actions. That's one of the wonderful things about vacation, time to reflect and contemplate how to be a better Christian today than I was yesterday and how to glorify God more tomorrow than today.

Last week, I saw God, saw His power and His majesty and reflected on His amazing grace. I saw God and I know I will be stronger in the days ahead because of my time with Him.

Freedom

I watched Braveheart last week where Mel Gibson's character, William Wallace, leads a group of Scotsmen in their quest for freedom from England.

I spent the weekend hearing my son say how cool it would have been to be a part of the signing of the Declaration of Independence and talk about his desire to visit Boston and Philadelphia to see historical sites and learn more about our freedom.

I taught a class Sunday morning on freedom - the freedom we have through Christ - the freedom from sin and Satan that we have been given.

Each of these freedoms came with a price, namely the loss of life. Braveheart gave me a good feeling for a few minutes after seeing it. Our country's independence is a wonderful gift that will last a lifetime. My freedom from sin is a treasure greater than anything, a sacrifice, a gift that will last through eternity.
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Today's the day. My lovely wife and little angel should be leaving Searcy, Arkansas soon and this afternoon we will head north/northwest. I am E-X-C-I-T-E-D, excited. It's been nice to have some time with my son at home while the girls are gone but I sure miss my girls and I am ready to see them. I've been ready to leave for Colorado but much, much more ready to see two beautiful women. It's a great day.

Bang. Bang-bang-bang.

July 4th always means fireworks but this year, July 1st, 2nd and 3rd have meant fireworks around our house. I think I'm going deaf.

My son and I are headed to the Fort Worth Cats game tonight with some friends. The Cats have always done a BIG fireworks show, one that I think rivals or surpasses the Rangers show. It will be fun if the rain holds off. Plus, I get a Kinkaid's burger at the game. That's living.

I'm mentally somewhere in New Mexico now. I'm trying to remember the things I need to do today so I can write them down but I'm struggling to get it on paper so I will remember it. I can't wait. Fun Valley has to be one of my top 2 or 3 favorite places. I relax there. I focus there. I fish there. I take in God's majesty and power there.

In case you can't tell, I'm ready to be there.

The Pre-Vacation Crunch

Why do so many things come up the week I'm trying to leave for vacation? I hope for a somewhat peaceful week (you'd think I would learn) and then - WHAMMO - a thousand little things come up. The good part is that I'm going on vacation. I'm leaving in 4 days. 4 days! Mentally, I'm halfway to Colorado which doesn't help me get things done at the office.
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All of our "regular" preachers were out of town yesterday so one of our Elders spoke to us in the worship service. He did a really good job and it was good to hear from one of our leaders. I certainly appreciate those men.
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What's up with the Rangers? They are playing some pretty good baseball right now. Kam Loe is smoking and Marlon Byrd has come out of nowhere to make some great plays and provide a lot of offense for the team. It seems a bit late for a run and I certainly don't believe it will last at this point but it's fun to see. All this while Blalock and Tex are on the DL. Hmmmm.
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Did I mention it was only 4 days until I leave for vacation. :)